When I got back to the tent the boys were already taking it down. I yawned and stretch "So, what now?" They all shrugged, Chris stopped what he was doing "Wanna just go get a bite to eat at the diner?" I shrugged back "Yea sure"

We took down the tent and got everything packed up. Chris grabbed his car keys and put an arm over my shoulder "Ready to go?" I shook my head "I think i'm just gonna walk. It's a beautiful day out" Gordie looked over at us "Can I walk with you? I could go for a walk" I nodded "Yea sure! Okay, it's 10:00 now, wanna meet at the diner around noon?" they all nodded. I gave Chris a small kiss and grabbed Gordie's hand "Alright see you guys later!"

We walked by the park and decided to sit down for awhile and just talk. We just rambled on for a few minutes about nothing. There was a long pause then Gordie spoke, without looking at me "What do you do when you get lonely?" I furrowed my eyebrows "What do you mean?" He sighed "Well like, you're an only child, and when you moved to California, you must have been really lonely for the first few weeks, right?" I nodded, he kept going "Well, have you ever felt so alone in the world you just wanted to...cry?"

I nodded again, and let him go on again "Before Denny died, I knew no matter what, I had someone in the world who would always be there for me no matter what. But now that he's gone, I don't know what to do"

Now it was my turn to speak "Remember back in grade 6 when I missed a lot of school because I was really sick?" Gordie nodded, I continued "Well, I wasn't sick. My Sister Caroline died. You guys were too young to remember when she lived at home, because when she was 16 she moved out. She got sick and tired of my mom and moved in with her boyfriend. I still saw her all the time, she just didn't live at home, that's why you guys never saw her. And I didn't talk about her because it hurt too much. She died from a brain bleed"

Gordie was silent "I'm so sorry Andy. But you know how I feel right? Alone? What do you do when it becomes too much?"

I had tears in my eyes. I hadn't talked about Caroline in a long time. When I spoke my voice came out a lot weaker than I wanted it to "Well, sometimes I would pretend like she didn't die. I'd pretend that she was still out there somewhere, like she just left for awhile" I could tell this didn't help Gordie much, so I tried again. I sighed, and you could tell in my voice that I wanted to cry "Other times, when that didn't work. I'd hold my own hand, like this" I intertwined my fingers together "and i'd pretend one of my hands was another person's. Someone who cares about me, and who will always be there, sometimes i'd pretend it's Caroline's. I still do it, when I feel alone. Pathetic, I know, but...it helps" I reached over and intertwined my fingers with Gordie's.

I kept talking "Next time you feel alone, come find me. It doesn't matter where I am, what time it is, or who i'm with. I'll hold your hand and make sure you don't feel alone. I know how badly I wished someone would be there for me, and I don't want you feeling like that, ever" He smiled, he had tears in his eyes. He reached over and hugged me "Thank you"

When I got home Vivian was sitting at the kitchen table. Her head was in her hands and her hair was all over the place, she looked horrible. I started walking up the stairs, but she stopped me "Andy? Andy, honey" She reached out to touch my arm but I jerked it away from her.

She sighed "Look honey, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I just wanted to say, i'm so, so sorry. That was a lot to take in all at once. And i'm so sorry for everything I've done to you these past few years, I just don't want you leaving like Caroline did. I also want you to know, I left your father. He came home after you left and I talked to him about it. He already left"

My mouth was open a little bit and my eyes had tears in them "He-he didn't even say goodbye?" She sighed "I'm sorry" I sat down on the stairs "Where did he go?" She sat next to me, but not too close "Back to California. Apparently his 'true love' was there, i'm so sorry honey" I linked my fingers with my own. The all to familiar feeling of being alone washed over me again. Vivian put a hand on my arm, I let her. I started crying, hard. I didn't care how mad I was at her, I put my face in her chest and sobbed like a child.

After crying for so long, Vivian led me to my room and told me to take a nap.

I woke up an hour later with a headache, so I went to the kitchen to look for some Advil. Vivian was sitting at the kitchen table, with her face buried in her hands and a box of Kleenex beside her.

She looked up when I walked in "Oh, Andy, feeling better?" She threw the used Kleenex in the trash bin beside her. I nodded, and took the Advil.

I went and sat next to her "I think we need to talk about all this" She nodded "Look honey, I don't exactly know where to start i-" I interrupted her "Did you love him?" She looked at her hands "Yes. I loved him enough to stay with him even after I found out he was cheating on me"

I shot my head up and looked at her "You knew?" She nodded "That's why we went to California. I figured if we left everything we knew behind, he'd magically stop cheating. But he didn't. So we moved back because I thought it'd be better to watch my marriage fall apart in the town that I love over a place that I hated. And you know what the women in California look like; much more appealing than the women in Castle Rock"

I had my hands locked together in front of me, and I was staring at them. Too afraid to look at anything else, because I knew if I did i'd probably cry "Why did you decided to leave him now?" She sighed "Because when I found out you knew about it, I knew I couldn't put you through that anymore. It wouldn't be fair. I know it wasn't right to lie to you for that long, but I just wanted to fix everything so badly. And when you were saying all those things to me you were taking all the things I wanted so badly for you not to know about and you were throwing them at me all at once. Before I knew what I was doing I had hit you, and...I hate myself for it. I'm so sorry Andy, honestly, I wish I could take it back but I can't. I'll never hit you again I swear!"

I sighed. I looked at her. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were red and puffy, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. I knew she was sorry, and I knew I had to stop calling her Vivian, and start calling her mom again.

I took her hand in mine "Look mom, i'll forgive you on one condition. I want you to accept Chris. Because mom, I love him. I don't care if you think i'm too young to know what love is. I do. And never, ever, call him a 'Chambers kid' or compare him to his father or brother" She nodded her head "I know he's a good kid Andy. As immature as this sounds, I was jealous of your relationship with him. Invite him over for dinner tonight, okay?" I smiled "Thanks mom, now can we pretend this whole thing never happened? And pretend I never even knew my dad?" She laughed "It would be my pleasure" I laughed and kissed her on the cheek and went upstairs to call Chris.

At exactly 5:30, the doorbell rang. I ran down the stairs, pulled open the door and jumped into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and grabbed his face in my hands "HI!" I yelled with a big grin on my face. He laughed and put me down "Hello Andy" I looked at him. He was wearing Dark jeans, a red button up plaid shirt, rolled up to his elbows, and his beat up old Converse.

Yup, it was official. I have the hottest boyfriend in the world. "You look hot" He laughed and looked down at me "I think you win" I looked down and noticed I was still in my short cotton sleep shorts that barley cover anything. I ran upstairs, and put on my favorite pair of jeans. I ran back down stairs, noticing Chris's face fall slightly. I grabbed both his hands in mine "Don't be scared okay? She's not that bad, and I think she still feels bad about hitting me, so she'll probably go easy on you. Just be yourself" He laughed "Alright. But you know, I can't make her love me if we don't leave the front door" I widened my eyes "RIGHT! Okay, let's go!" He laughed and followed as I pulled him into the dining room.