I should make a strong note that I do not condone child abuse or abuse to anyone in any way, shape or form, whether it was once or regularly. However, that being said, it's much easier said that done that you leave those people in your life so easily. People make mistakes and sometimes they can't be forgiven, but try not to judge people in those sorts of situations too harshly. One mistake, however wrong, doesn't wipe away every good thing a person has ever done either. It's not like turning off a switch and you'll suddenly forget how much you love that person or how much good they have in them. It's even harder when people are a different person when they drink, violent and angry or in all terms of the word abusive, but when they're clean of alcohol they're the same person you know and love. Please try to understand that things aren't black and white.
In this chapter, you'll see Nora's reasoning and she'll answer some unknowns. Also, I understand if this story isn't for everyone, so I ask that only those who are comfortable continue reading. This chapter is tame, but things are going to change in the coming chapters.
I do not own Life with Derek.
Derek didn't speak for a good few minutes. Which, when you're on the phone, is a very long time.
"Derek? Are you still there?" Nora's tearful voice came.
Derek was grinding his teeth, desperately trying to remind himself why he couldn't go and strangle the man in the next room.
"Derek, I need you to make me another promise. You will not hurt him for the past. You don't know the circumstances. Alcohol can screw a person up pretty badly and with all the stress he was under he lost control of his temper. I'm not defending what he did, but you can't let something that happened back then ruin your future. Don't go after him. The only reason I didn't press charges is because I couldn't have the girls grow up without a father. I took custody because I refused to let it happen again. It's the reason why I was going to force you to go onto this trip if Casey didn't invite you herself."
Derek didn't speak still but he got control over his breathing. Nora, hearing him still there, hurriedly continued.
"I knew you could protect her. You always look out for her. I still was nervous for her to go but I felt better knowing you'd be there with her. Derek, if anything happens again, I promise I will press charges. It was once, and it was enough to cause the end of my marriage. I'm sorry if that isn't enough for you, but it hurt the girls and I enough. I couldn't take him away permanently. Even Casey didn't want the divorce to happen but I did what I had to, to protect them."
Derek nodded, even though she couldn't see him. He could only imagine the pain that the alcoholism brought on the family but with the added dose of child abuse, it could end any strong family. It caused him to really think about all that Casey had gone through. He knew she probably became so strong a person because of going through the divorce, it can cause any kid to grow up too fast, but now he knew all she had gone through and it was so intense.
Suddenly, Derek realized something.
"Casey was the one who went to you, wasn't she?" he asked anxiously. He remembered Dennis' blaming words, and how it caused such a sudden change in her composure. It took him a moment to replay the memory, and came to the conclusion that she had not only been gesturing at him but the glass in his hand. She blamed the contents for the breaking of their family.
"Yes she was. She told me. I had to get her checked at the hospital…" Nora's voice was hard to understand now, it was so choked with tears. "He hit her in the back of the head. It was enough force to cause minimal damage to her cerebellum, the back part of the brain. It affects her coordination slightly…she was only scared it would affect her dancing…she had to work twice as hard but the only time we really saw the effects were her everyday clumsiness. Casey had always been so graceful until then. "
The words broke Derek. All he could think of was the second day of Casey at their high school. The big 'Klutzilla' debacle. The fact that he, constantly to this day, poked fun at her for being so clumsy. Back then he figured she was just insecure in a new school and new home and that's why she took it so personally. Now he realized that it was because it had only been a recent problem that was completely not her fault, and it probably brought back all the bad memories associated with it.
"Nora, I have to go, but I'll keep your promise." he whispered before hanging up the phone. He knocked on Casey's door.
She opened it, looking bewildered at his broken expression. He grasped her hands in his as he looked at her in a new light.
This was his Casey, the girl who lectured him about feminism, hygiene, school, and cleaning habits. The girl who somehow found a way to challenge him in every aspect of his life without ever realizing that's what she was doing. The girl who had gone through years of hell, listening to her parents shout at each other over the wasted expenses on alcohol, protecting her little sister from knowing the truth and the girl who was only so controlling because she had spent so much time being helpless. He looked at her, seeing the desire to be such a keener, to make sure she'd always have a successful future and wouldn't turn to any kind of substances for comfort.
"Derek, what is it?" she asked him softly, squeezing his hands back as his eyes filled.
He looked down, away from her face. He couldn't have her see him crying.
"I am…" He coughed, trying to clear his tight throat. "So sorry…if I'd have known…about…god Case, I'd never have called you Klutzilla…I'm so sorry…I was an insensitive jerk…I just thought…" he broke off his mismatched sentences, his words shaking now. God he couldn't cry in front of her. He refused. He didn't even cry when he and Sally broke up and that had been a large blow for him.
Casey simply nodded in understanding, smiling through her own joyful tears, before pulling him into a hug and closing the door behind them.
Once isolated, Derek let his tears fall since his face was concealed in her shoulder.
It wasn't right. He was supposed to be doing the comforting. But he couldn't believe how terrible he had been. He hadn't known of her past but his guilt was still suffocating. He thought of all the times he hurt her. All the times he teased her, all the times he made some comment about 'drunks' and telling her she must have fallen on her head as a child or some other snide comment.
"How'd you find out?" she whispered, her voice hoarse from all the tears she had cried.
He explained his phone call to Nora, and how he guessed there was a lot more to it and finally got all the answers. He told her how he suspected there was something he was missing, leaving out his eavesdropped conversations at home and on the plane since he doubted she'd be thrilled about it. Plus it would be awkward bringing up the fact that he heard her compliment him and go along with a lie that he was her boyfriend. Not that he was one to talk since he claimed her as his girlfriend to that sleazy guy when he could've used the truth.
"Derek, I wanted to tell you. But I've spent so much time keeping everything to do with it to myself, I just couldn't find the words. Being back here, back living with my dad even temporarily, brings back so much of the pain I had buried over the years. It's hard. I'm sorry for being an overemotional freak-"
"You're not, look at me. Frig." Derek said, trying to swipe away his tears in embarrassment.
She simply giggled, her arms wrapped around his neck as she looked up at him. "Derek, don't be stupid. It's nice for once to see you showing some emotion."
"Oh-ho, you want me to show emotion huh?" he teased, cornering her against the wall.
"Der-ek, no!" she giggled, not knowing what he was about to do. With Derek, the list of possibilities was infinite.
He smiled genuinely at her before leaning close and acquainting her lips with his.
Casey's wide innocent eyes stared into his in surprise but as he kissed her slowly, they gradually shut as she let the pleasure overtake her mind. Her arms tightened around his neck, her lips eagerly exploring his now. His hand gripped her shirt, lifting it to reveal a sliver of smooth skin on her hip, his thumb rubbing small circles, while the other hand cupped her cheek.
They broke for air, but Casey quickly closed the distance between their lips once again, her tongue slipping inside his mouth to massage his. Derek let out a groan without thinking, pulling her body taut against his.
He didn't understand what was happening to him. Desire was rippling uncontrollably through his body. He couldn't think clearly long enough to figure out a way to make her weak in return. Normally he had some sort of game plan, and add to the fact that it was Casey he definitely would, but this was nothing like he expected. He didn't know it was possible for his thoughts to be so blank, although many people would disagree.
Casey's soft cry of delight caught him off guard. He realized he was instinctually kissing down her neck now while one arm locked her against him and his other fingers ran through her silky hair.
"Derek." she whispered, pleading, but he wouldn't let her think about it too much. He needed this too badly.
He brought his mouth back to hers, kissing her passionately, both hands cradling her head in his palms.
Why did no one tell him Casey was an amazing kisser? Sheesh. He would've given in long ago. Well no that's a lie. He would've given in long ago if he was sure she felt the same way he did. But he was best friends with Sam and Sam hadn't said a word! Well that might've been because he figured Derek would never kiss Casey in his lifetime, even though he knew he wanted to, considering his legal status with her.
Derek pushed this out of his head as Casey's fingers knotted into his hair. He was trying to keep his body focused. It was being distracted rather easily by her mumbles of desire against his mouth.
To his surprise, her hands began tugging at the hem of his shirt, raising it up his torso.
This caused him to remember where they were, what they had just been discussing, and why they had to stop. As much as he knew he would want that in a regular emotional state, he couldn't guarantee that Casey would. He pulled away. The hurt shone in her deep blue eyes.
"I'm sorry, I can't. You're…vulnerable. It wouldn't be right." Derek said, shaking his head at his idiocy. He refused to take advantage of Casey of all people. She was just a pure and innocent trusting soul. It was wrong.
Casey nodded, but didn't look that discouraged. Her lips were swollen from the aggressiveness of their kissing. Everything would always come down to a fight with them.
"Does that mean you actually care about me?" Casey asked apprehensively.
Derek felt mildly offended. She didn't sound excited by that idea, more like uneasy at the thought.
"Yes Casey, I do." he replied, not wanting to delve into it.
Thankfully she smiled. "Good. I have feelings for you too."
"Hey now, no one said anything about feelings." Derek said, panicky.
She giggled. "Didn't need to hun, I know you well enough to know now."
And with that she strode over, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled his mouth hard onto hers once more.
It almost made Derek forget about all the bad news he had gotten over the night. Almost.