Another chapter, this is chapter 11, the second one for the day if you haven't read 10 please go back and do so, or not, but 10 was sort of important.
A few days had gone by since Meredith had fallen asleep in Derek's arms. Derek had gone back to DC the next morning to finalize things for the hospital and to pack his things. He had tried to text and call her several times but she had ignored them, she needed sometime to heal. She had taken the rest of the week off work, mostly to process the events. Today she still wasn't working but she was going in to work to talk to Dr Wyatt's replacement, Dr Paul Smith. She had decided she needed an impartial person to discuss her feelings with, someone who didn't know Derek, who didn't know her. She felt weird and vulnerable, the prospect of exposing her life to another person made her stomach flutter and roll. But she wanted to do her part to make her marriage work, she wanted to be sure that she could work on her marriage with Derek. Amelia again, was a godsend, offering to watch Zola and Bailey for the afternoon while she went into see this new doctor. She didn't tel Amelia where she was going and Amelia didn't ask but she did tell her that Derek would be back in Seattle probably later that evening.
As she sat in the waiting room, fiddling with her watch, her nerves started to creep up on her and she couldn't help but ask herself what she was doing here, she stared at her watch, the doctor was already running twenty minutes late.
"Is he going to be that much longer?" She asked the receptionist, who was tapping away at her keyboard.
"No, No." the middle aged woman with a string of brightly colored beads strung around her neck, assured her before going back to tapping at the key board.
Meredith sat their waiting for another ten minutes before she went to ask again, but before she could, the door to the doctors office opened an awkward young patient walked out with the doctor.
"So just keep taking you tablets and I will see you again in two weeks." The doctor said to the patient who nodded obediently, before quickly scurrying out of the office.
"Will you call him and try and make the appointment with him." The doctor asked his receptionist.
"Of course." the lady said, giving Meredith the impression that this was a regular occurrence.
"Mrs Grey." The doctor said, turning to face Meredith.
"You can come in now." He said, gesturing to his office.
Meredith quickly walked in. There was no fish tank in his office, no zen looking sculptures, just a dreary looking succulent and a picture of what looked like Venice. It was stark and clinical, Meredith thought and the only two real feature points were the large armchairs sitting in the middle of the room. Meredith took a seat in the one closest to the door.
"So Mrs Grey what brings you in today." The doctor asked pulling out a note book and pen.
"It's Doctor." Meredith said as Doctor Smith looked up at her.
"Pardon?" He asked.
"You said Mrs Grey and it's Doctor Grey." She said matter of factually
"My apologies." Doctor Smith said, scribbling something down.
"What are you writing?' Meredith questioned but Doctor Smith didn't say anything.
"Are you writing that I am being stuck up, or avoiding, or in denial, because I am not, I'm just saying I am not Mrs Grey, I am Doctor Grey." Meredith said.
"I am writing, that you prefer to be called Doctor Grey." He said turning around his notebook, for Meredith to read and sure enough, in an illegiable scrawl, it said she prefers to be called Doctor Grey.
"Actually, I prefer being called Meredith, can you call me Meredith?" She asked and he flipped the notebook back and wrote in it again.
"There." He said, showing her what he wrote.
Patient is a Doctor but prefers being called Meredith.
"So now that we have that sorted can we move on to why you are here today?" He asked, twirling the pen in between his fingers.
"I," She stumbled.
"I used to see Dr Wyatt but she left." Meredith stated.
"Yes I saw that, but that was quite some time ago." He said.
"So what brings you here today." He asked again.
"I am surgeon a General Surgeon and when I ask someone what brings you here today, the answer is easy. My stomach hurts, I fell off a ladder, I can't stop vomiting. The answer is easy. But it's not for me." Meredith said.
"Okay, so why isn't it easy?" The Doctor asked trying a new tact.
"Because," Meredith said.
"I'm not sick, my stomach doesn't hurt, I didn't fall off a ladder and I'm not vomiting but something is wrong." She admits.
"Something is wrong." She says again.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"I don't know maybe the fact that you keep paraphrasing my last sentence into a question." She snips at him, before feeling bad.
"I'm sorry, I'm not usually like this. I kind of suck at therapy, Dr Wyatt probably wrote that in her notes." Meredith said.
"I'm not going to read her notes, I don't think they are strictly relevant to today's discussion." He informed her.
"How about we just have a conversation. Just like two people talking in a coffee shop. No expectations, no roles, I'll put down my note book and I won't write anything." He said trying to relax Meredith.
"Okay." Meredith said, not wanting to disagree.
"What are we going to talk about." She asked.
"Well we are two people in a coffee shop, who have just met each other, so you say you are a Doctor, where do you work?" He asked.
"This is stupid, you know where I work." Meredith muttered, but Doctor Smith just looked at her.
"Fine, I work at Grey Sloan Memorial." She said
"What a coincidence so do I." he said as Meredith rolled her eyes.
"You must have been busy today, I heard that there was a multi car pile up, this morning, lots of hurt and injured people." He said, Meredith knew about this as well because Maggie had told her.
"I'm not working today." Meredith said, starting to relax.
"Ah lucky, is it your day off?" He asked knowingly.
"I've had the last few days off." She admitted.
"I've been spending time with my kids." She said.
"You've got kids, how old?" He asked, genuinely.
"Zola has just turned Four and Bailey is eighteen months old." Meredith said with a smile.
"Do you have kids?" She asked, looking at the Doctor for the first time, he looked old enough to have kids, he had a wedding band on his finger.
"Yes I do, a daughter, Aurelia she is six." He said.
"Hey, you're a board member right." He said and Meredith resisted rolling her eyes once again, because maybe this guy was on to something.
"Yes." She said simply.
"So you must know all about this new restructuring of the hospital." He said.
"Rumor has it the President is buying out the Harper Avery part." He said.
"You are the worst random coffee shop person I have ever met." Meredith said.
"Humor me please." He said, looking at her, with a smile on his face.
"Yes the government," She corrected, "Is taking over the Harper Avery share of the hospital and making the hospital the premiere research hospital in the country and moving the brain mapping institute here as well." She said, honestly.
"Good so I'm not about to lose my job." He said.
"No you're not." She responded, with a grin.
"It sounds like a big opportunity, everyone is talking about how great it will be for the hospital and how lucky we are for it to have worked out like this." He said.
"Are they." Meredith frowned, she thought they might be, but she wished they wouldn't.
"So Dr Shepherd's. Dr Derek Shepherd, I keep forgetting there are two her now, the other one is his sister right, what's her name, I keep forgetting?' he asked but Meredith suspected he knew.
"Amelia." She said anyway.
"That's right, Amelia, So Derek Shepherd he was running the brain mapping project in DC and now he's moving it back to Seattle." Doctor Smith continued.
"Yes." Meredith said, simply.
"And he's your Husband right?' The doctor asked, and Meredith knew he was defiantly getting at something.
"He is." She admitted
"So you must be more happier than anyone about this." Doctor Smith said, picking up his notebook again.
"But I'm not." Meredith finally admitted.
"I'm not happy. I'm not happy because he cheated on me and then he felt bad so he decided he needed to move back to Seattle and because everyone thinks the world of him, he managers to get the whole world to change for him and everyone thinks he is great and wonderful because he saved the hospital, he restored it, he will be the one who they credit with making the hospital the best research hospital in the country. When the truth is it is not because he is great, or exceptional he doesn't deserve a ticket parade. He cheated on me, he slept with some one else and nobody knows that, that is the reason, that because he cheated everyone in the hospital is going to benefit." Meredith finished, staring at the succulent.
"Don't you work at the hospital." The doctor asked.
"Yes." Meredith said, confused.
"It doesn't sound like you benefited from him cheating." He said.
"I didn't. Of course I didn't, my marriage is holding on by a thread and my family is dangling over a pit filled with hungry lions and it is killing me, I can't I don't know how I can come back to work." She admitted for the first time.
"Look Meredith, you did nothing wrong, it's not your fault, you can go back to work, there is no shame in going back to work. You can tell the world that he cheated on you, you can make them listen, or you can go back to work and know that not everyone will see your husband as the hero, not everyone will welcome him back and I for one will know that the reason the hospital is going to change is because your husband cheated on you." He said and Meredith felt better.
She found comfort in the fact that some seemingly random hospital worker, now knew the truth and she thought that maybe just maybe, this whole therapy thing would be helpful.
"Back to the coffee shop." Meredith said, trying to pull the conversation some where lighter.
"What does you're wife do?" Meredith asked.
"My wife, well she's not my wife anymore and she does women." He said, shaking his head, as Meredith stared at him in shock.
"You know Meredith, you don't have to forgive him yet. You can take time to heal, time for yourself, and that doesn't make you selfish." He said, like he was speaking from his own pain ravaged heart.
"It just makes you human." He said as Meredith sat pondering his words.
"So I will see you next week Dr Grey. I mean Meredith." He said, closing the notebook.
"Do you want me to bring coffee." She asked getting up.
"Sure why not." he said.
As Meredith walked away from his office, with a new found confidence, her phone beeped so she pulled it out and looked at it. It was Derek, again, but this time she chose to answer it because she couldn't help but start to believe they could make it work, even if she couldn't quite forgive him.
"Hello." She said.
"Meredith." She heard Derek say in relief.
"What do you want." she asked.
Cliff hanger, sort of because I feel like I could introduce a later story line now, but I'm not sure I want to, just yet.
Anyway, two chapters again on one day. This chapter I enjoyed, mainly because I got to play with a new character, which if you haven't noticed I love doing. Some of you may find that I am taking it out on Meredith, but I'm not really trying to, I am mostly doing one chapter focusing on her one on Derek, trying to show how they both grow and change and just because I submitted Meredith to therapy does not mean Derek gets off with out it.
Hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed playing with it.
Cheers
Lumae