Chapter 10

I groan when the Sunday morning light awakes me, greeting me calmly like an old friend. The air is gold and the sky dim, making it hard to want to move from the bed that I had stumbled into last night. I sit up and rub my eyes, not wanting to wake the beautiful brunette sleeping soundly next to me. I had the worst case of cotton mouth, a pounding headache, and a vivid memory of what had happened a mere 6 hours ago. I look over to the small clock on the nightstand next to me. It reads 8:04am, and I know that I have exactly 56 minutes to make it to the other side of town for my meeting with Will. He is going to love my field notes from the past few days.

This oughta be fun.

I decide that it's best to leave out the drug use for the time being. I like Jesse and the guys too much to let them get arrested on a small drug charge. If I am being honest, I don't need to rock my FBI boat anymore than I already have the last few weeks. Plus, I am still gaining everyone's trust and the last thing I need is to get on anyone's bad side. There are still hundreds of unanswered questions in regards to my case.

A loud yawn escapes my lips as I reach across the bed to give Rachel a soft kiss on the top of her hair. She smiles sweetly and opens her eyes. She gives me the most beautiful, paralyzing look. How am I going to be on time when she's looking at me like this?

"Good morning, handsome," she says, as she runs her fingers up and down my bare arms.

"Good morning, pretty girl." I stretch my arms over my head.

"I have to say," she begins, as she rolls over to the other side of the bed. "You're a stupendous cuddle buddy."

I smile. "Oh, is that a fact?"

"Uh huh," she laughs. "Where are you running off to?" She glances at the alarm clock, "It's so early."

I stand up and begin to put my worn hoodie on and adjust my unbuckled belt. "I have something I need to go take care of."

"Right," she says, rolling her eyes a little. "I know the brush off when I hear one." Rachel pulls the blanket around her small frame, "I was hoping…" she trails off. "I just thought maybe we could have breakfast together."

"I would love to...maybe in a little while?" Damn, why did today have to be Sunday? "This is not the brush off, it's just a prior engagement that I can't reschedule." I slip on my flip flops, "I'll be done by 10:30 at the latest. You could meet Kurt and I at the house? Kurt makes a mean French toast. That is, if he and Blaine come up for air at some point."

Rachel giggles. "I like him...your brother. He's such a sweetheart."

"Yeah...he's alright, I guess," I say. Rachel replies back in laughter. "I love him, he's all I have. When we were younger, we were never really close. But over the years, that's changed a lot."

"The guys really seem to like him, too. Especially Blaine." Rachel was clearly fishing for my reaction.

"I think...I think they would be good together." I smile when I realize that was how I genuinely feel.

"Blaine might seem like a guy that just loves to dance and flirt with guys… He isn't like that though Finn. He's interested in beginning a relationship with Kurt. I saw it on his face," Rachel says, finally sitting up.

It was my turn to poke around for information. "And you and Jesse?"

"We have to have a long talk. He should be back here at some point today because the bar is open this evening. I'm going to go downstairs and straighten up a bit. He would be so mad if he saw what we did to his toys," Rachel covers her mouth to stifle her laugh. "Do you want me to have someone take you where you need to go?"

"That won't be necessary," I tell Rachel. "I've got a cab coming for me. Can you just make sure that Kurt goes home at some point? He has class tomorrow."

Rachel nods her head. "Absolutely, scrub."

I smile, "Thanks for..."

"Don't mention it," she winks, as I kiss her on the cheek. I grab my keys and make my way out the front door. I don't bother to check on my brother. I asked Rachel to make sure she made it home and to be completely honest, finding he and Blaine cuddling in bed together is not at the top of my list of things to do today.

"Yo! Finn, what's up?! Where are you heading off to?" I hear Artie call from the chair at the patio. I stare at him and can't help but wonder if he slept out here.

I point to the street. "I've gotta head out... I have an appointment."

"Alright man, well, I'll see you tomorrow for rehearsals?" Artie smiles and nods.

"Yeah," I say, smiling back at him. "Absolutely. There's my cab man, I'll see you tomorrow."

The whole walk to the cab, I am having conflicting feelings. I'm growing to trust these guys and I am hating the fact that one or more of them might be caught up in something illegal. I get home, grab my notes, and head to the office.

I greet Sugar upon my arrival into the headquarters this morning. She notices the clothes that I am wearing and the redness around my eyes.

"Rough night?" she asks, standing up from her seat. She leads me down the hall to Will's office. He doesn't look to be on the phone today and she ushers me inside right away.

"Thank you, Sugar," Will calls, as I step into the office. He greets me with a handshake and I sit down.

"You stink, Hudson," he wrinkles his nose. I curse myself for not taking a quick shower. "Did you let Myrtle Beach get to you last night? You smell like a mix of stale alcohol, salt water, and reefer."

Shit, I'm going to get booted from my first field assignment and put on a fucking desk. "Undercover stuff," I tell him.

He laughs and takes a seat across from me. "And you didn't think to shower first? I know I said this was laid back, but you look like a homeless person. Did you even sleep?"

"My night ended a few hours ago. I dashed out of the house this morning. How was your 4th?" I smile, wanting nothing more than to change the subject.

Will rolls his eyes, but answers anyway. "Don't try and change the subject," he says to me. "It was fine. I spent it with my wife and my kids."

"You're married?" I ask, a little shocked. I look down at his left hand — there is no ring.

He nods his head and chuckles. "Five years next spring." He opens one of his desk drawer, pulls out a platinum band, and puts it on his finger.

"I had...wow, Will. That's amazing. What's she like? How old are your kids?"

"She's smart… beautiful. Her name is Emma and every time I look at her I fall in love all over again. My son, Daniel and my daughter, Aurora, are 4 and 5. They are the best things to ever happen to me."

I can't help but be envious. I would love to have that life one of these days. I'll settle down and have a wife and some kids and a house, away from this double life that I'm leading right now. "That sounds like the dream, sir."

"It is," Will says, taking a sip of coffee from the mug on his desk. "Let's get on with this, shall we? It's been almost a month now, Hudson. What have you got for me?"

"Unfortunately nothing," I tell him.

"That's not what I wanted to hear," he starts. "I put my ass out on the line for you...and I need you to provide me some valid intel or we aren't going to be able to keep funding your side project."

I nod my head. "I understand sir."

"You start a new contracting job tomorrow, correct?"

"That's affirmative sir."

"Good. See what you can find out, Hudson. People are sloppier at the beginning of a job while they're trying to figure out what they can get away with. You've earned their trust, now it's time to get them to open up to you. If you don't come back here on Sunday with evidence, I'm going to have to put you on a desk until you can be reassigned."

"Reassigned?" I ask. "Will...please."

"I mean it, Hudson. One week to give me valid evidence or both of your undercover jobs are shot to hell - do you understand?"

I nod my head. "I'll come back Sunday with evidence to propel the investigation forward. These cases mean everything to me, sir. I won't let you or the bureau down." I was in too deep, there was no way I could give up and retreat to a desk job.

After getting my ass chewed out by Will about putting my penis before my badge, I leave FBI headquarters feeling defeated. I could have lied about yesterday, but I didn't. I chose to tell him the truth and he chose to tell me I was on thin ice and was hovering over desk duty. Maybe Will was right. I needed to focus more on my cases and less on Rachel Berry, no matter how hard that might be.

I spin the keys in my hand and head up the front door as I see a familiar brunette sitting on the steps. "Hi pretty girl. How did you know where I lived?"

"Blaine," she smiles. I couldn't help but stare at her. Rachel is so strikingly beautiful. She has on a simple blue cotton t-shirt, black sweat shorts, and flip flops. I could tell she also wasn't wearing any make up. But none of that mattered. All that I cared about was that she was here.

I steal a quick peck on the cheek and unlock the door. "My room is this way." We head into my bedroom and I close the door behind us. It's at this very moment I really look at her and frown. "Have you been crying?"

"I'm not staying long. I just wanted to come over here, Finn, and apologize for my behavior yesterday. I wasn't myself." She rubs at a few stray tears on her face.

I have never seen her look so sad. Each one of those tears feels like a knife to the heart. Then, her words sink in. "Rachel, you didn't do anything that you need to apologize for. I'm an adult. I wanted yesterday to happen." I sit down on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands, "I have wanted yesterday to happen since the moment we met."

I motion for her to join me on my bed and reluctantly she sits beside me. I reach for her hands and she pulls away. She sighs, "I was mad about everything going on with Jesse, I had way too much to drink, and then we got high. I shouldn't have led you on like that."

It all hits me like a ton of bricks. "Wait a minute...did you and Jesse work everything out?"

"No, that is over. But everything with Jesse doesn't change the fact that nothing can happen between us right now." Rachel is crying again and it's killing me.

I am confused. "If you're single, why can't we make a go of it? I know that you like me, why not go on a date with me and we can see what happens afterwards? That's what I want, pretty girl."

She pulls her hair up into a messy bun. "I have been in relationships since I was 16, Finn. When we moved to Myrtle Beach, I was single and within 8 weeks of being here I met Jesse. A month later, we were living together. That was nearly 6 years ago... I don't know who I am anymore. That's what I need to work on before I become someone else's girlfriend."

I can see the writing on the wall...I've lost her. "Rachel, I would love it if you were my girlfriend, but I am fine with just dating, honestly. I just want to be with you...I need to be around you, can't you see that?" For a minute all I can think of is the time I spent on the beach with Quinn - telling her I was afraid of never being in love - after today that fear is gone. I am in love with Rachel Berry and the thought of losing her when I just figured that out is the most terrifying thing I have ever had to face. That's saying a lot considering I had to watch my own mother wither away and die last year...even that seems like it would be a cakewalk compared to this moment.

She stands up. "I know, Finn. That's why I need to figure this out now. I like you, too. Yesterday was wonderful. It was nice to be around a guy that wasn't only interested in getting in my pants."

I feel my body start to shake. "That doesn't make any fucking sense!" I yell before my head even registers I'm speaking. "I'm being punished because I didn't fuck you and take off?!"

"Goodbye, Finn." Rachel says as she reaches for the door. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head in disbelief. This is really happening right now and I am powerless to stop it. "No," I stand up and push the door shut, pressing myself against Rachel in the process. "This can't be the end of us! We can't be over before we begin! Yesterday was the best day of my life, Rachel!" I finally prepare myself for something I should have done weeks ago...I bring my hands to her face and kiss her. Soft at first, until her mouth opens and grants my tongue entrance. Then, the kiss turns hard and rough. My hands find her hair and I am willing her heart to open so we can be together.

Rachel puts her hands on my chest and pushes hard. She touches her lips. "I'm sorry, Finn. I can't." Before I can muster anything else, she flees my apartment and doesn't look back.

My week just kept getting worse after Sunday afternoon. So far, my construction job has been more of the same. Blaine has been avoiding me - when I brought it to his attention, he said I was paranoid and should have Kurt write me a prescription. Rachel wasn't taking my calls, Quinn hasn't stopped calling, and Jesse was riding me harder than usual at rehearsals. I asked Blaine this morning if Jesse knew about Rachel and I being touchy-feely on the Fourth and when I got home, there was a Post-It note stuck to my door with the name and number of two local psychiatrists that could help with my paranoia issue. As I park the Ford Ranger in the lot at Adrenaline, I bang my hands on the steering wheel a few times. I'm so frustrated that I want to scream at this very moment. I take several deep breaths and work up the courage to finally come out into civilization. I get out of my truck and try my best to snap out of my funk before making my way through the hallowed doors of Jesse's establishment. Throwback Thursday's are hands down my favorite nights at Adrenaline. We don't have to stick to the routines that Jesse has set in place for us, we get to wear way better costumes, and Rachel always works the bar. I head inside, crossing my fingers... I hope she's working the bar this evening.

It's been 4 days since I've last spoken to her, and our last exchange still burns vividly in my mind. Goodbyes have always been the hardest for me and I didn't want to make it that way with Rachel. Even if she didn't believe in herself, I knew she was special. And however long it took for her to realize that, it wouldn't matter because I would be right here waiting for her.

It's Thursday and so far I haven't found anything out that would sway Will that I was in control of this case and not the other way around. It was dwindling down to the final days here and if nothing showed up, I think I would have a hard time leaving this place behind. I mean, I could just strip here full time and work with Blaine. But that's not what I spent weeks at Quantico training for. I didn't graduate from the FBI academy to become a stripper. But, Rachel Berry and all of my new friends were making that very hard for me.

The theme tonight is 90s, and Jesse has let us be pretty creative as far as costumes go. I had decided to go as Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell, The all denim look was in my favor tonight - acid washed light denim jeans, one of those horizontal striped t-shirts in teal and white, a jean button-up long sleeve shirt and a pair of Jordan's on my feet. I even spiked my hair a bit, which is something I haven't done in years.

I had to avoid Kurt on the drive over here and it was a simpler task than I thought it would be. When I arrived at the club, the entire place looked like I walked into some kind of after school special. It was surreal and a little insane.

Puck is dressed as Uncle Jesse from Full House, complete with the leather jacket and feathered mullet. I saw Sam in the corner sporting his best 90s Justin Timberlake - circa NSYNC era look and Jake has decided to go as Will from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Blaine went against the pack and dressed as Freddie Prinze Jr., from She's All That, which was hard to spot at first. After giving Artie my song selection for the evening, the only thing on my mind is heading over to the bar for a pre-performance drink, in hopes of seeing her.

"Oh my," I say, as Rachel turns around at the bar.

"Hi scrub," she tells me, as she places a bottle of Bicardi out in front of me.

I laugh a little to myself, noticing her costume. "And you're supposed to be Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell?"

"Shit," she mouths silently to herself. "Fuck, yeah, I am. And let me guess, you're Zack, right? Looks like the gang's all here then. Jesse is Slater, and Marley is Jessie. Ryder decided to be Screech."

I chuckle to myself. "I didn't think I would see you after Sunday..."

She cuts me off. "Well, I'm living with Blaine and have to pull my weight some way or another. I still have to work, Finn," she huffs.

"Well can I at least get a beer then?" I smile.

"Of course you can," she says, passing the bottle over to me. "This one's on the house. Next one, I'm expecting a tip."

I wink at her. "Oh, baby. Say the words and you'll get more than that from me."

"Hey guys," I hear Jesse tell us as he makes his way over to the bar. "Finn, give us a minute will you? I need to talk to my Rachel please."

I nod my head. "Sure. I'm going to go downstairs and get ready for tonight. See ya later, Rach."

"Good thinking, brother," Jesse says, as he slaps me on the back. I start towards the stairs, but stay within earshot, partly because I'm nosy and partly because I want to make sure she's alright.

"You look so beautiful tonight," he says, reaching for her hand. I can see him staring at her high waisted floral stretch mini skirt and Bayside novelty tank top.

"What do you want, Jesse?" she asks, as she begins to stack the bottles neatly behind the bar. "This place is packed tonight and I'm trying to work here."

"Look, I figured this was just some sort of temporary thing, but if you would like to keep your job here I suggest you drop the attitude." Clearly Jesse is unfamiliar with the laws prohibiting sexual harassment in the workplace.

"I'm not giving you attitude," she glares, placing both hands on her hips.

"Look, I didn't mean that love. You know me. I miss you. We haven't talked since you left on Sunday and its breaking me up inside. I thought we would be able to talk when you came by to pick up some of your things, but you brought Blaine with you." Jesse says. I was proud of Rachel here in this moment. It must have been difficult for her to hold her ground when just caving and moving back in was the safest bet.

I see her face harden. "Yeah? And I want to keep it that way, okay? I don't know what changed all of a sudden but you have become a completely different person…one that I don't want to have anything to do with."

"Well, that's too bad Rachel because you're in this for the long haul now, baby. There's no turning back." Jesse seethes.

Woah, time out here. What did Jesse mean by Rachel being in this for the long haul? Whatever it is, it can't be good...

"Good evening, ladies!" I hear Jesse shout from the main stage. We had been down here goofing off for so long that I hadn't even realized what time it was. "Welcome to Throwback Thursday's here at Adrenaline Bar and Grill. I am your host for this evening, AC Slater! We are so happy to have you with us on this fine Thursday night. Everyone take a seat, relax, and enjoy themselves as we jump into our time machines back to the 1990s with our Cock Rocking Casanovas...the Adrenaline Men!"

The 5 of us begin to bolt up the stairs as soon as we hear our entrance music. Jesse cues Artie to begin to the music that he has picked for us to do our group routine to - Bye, Bye, Bye by N*Sync. The ladies in the audience - all dressed in their rompers and high-waisted acid washed shorts - begin to go wild for us. We owned the stage and made sure to collect the money that was obnoxiously being thrown our way. When the song finishes, we head downstairs for a quick costume change as Puck's music is cued up for him. His song is Forever, the one that used to play in Full House, to match his character for the evening. He has it easy - the girl that has been selected to receive the lap dance from him in the audience is auburn haired and busty. Not my type, but she is beautiful. Sam goes next and dances to another N*Sync song. Next is Jake, who chooses Summertime by Will Smith and Blaine chooses I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. I can't help but shake my head as he comes off stage with wads of bills in his thong.

"If only Kurt could see you now," I chuckle.

He rolls his eyes. "He would eat it up, Finn. Don't worry."

"Dude, that's my fucking brother!" I exclaim, shaking my head.

"Alright guys...here is the moment that you all have been waiting for. Straight from Bayside High himself, the one, the only… Zack Morris."

I keep telling myself that this is it. I had picked a killer 98 Degrees song that was going to get me tons of money this evening. Except, when I step out onto the stage, the only music that begins to play out over the speakers is Aaron Carter's ridiculously bad cover of I Want Candy. I am completely mortified. Not only am I mortified, I'm fucking pissed off. Why in the fuck would Jesse change that around on me?! I had everything down for this, I had everything ready and had been practicing this song for a week now and he is just going to go and do this. I mean, really, who does the guy think he is…other than my boss, of course.

I work the stage like I'm meant to, even though this shitty song is playing. God, I remember when Kurt used to be obsessed with this guy and it's bringing back weird memories from my childhood as I dance and play it up for the ladies. I still wind up with a good amount of money thrown at me. And next is hot seats, where I am sure to make the big bucks. I just want to give Jesse the fucking finger right now as he smirks behind the bar. What a fucking prick. She doesn't love you anymore man. That's no ones fault but your own, asshole.

The show finally ends about an half an hour later. All satisfied ladies are making their way out of the door and we have changed back into our full costumes from the beginning of the night.

"That was killer," Jake says, as he comes up behind me. "Do you want to get a drink?"

"Sure," I say, as I nod my head. I follow him up the stairs to the main bar entrance as we take as seat on one of the stools.

Rachel gets me my usual and Jake just sticks with bourbon. "So Finn, you doing anything when you get out of here for the evening?"

"I gotta get home," I tell him. "Blaine and I have to be up early tomorrow for work."

"Yeah," Jake says before taking another drink. "I know how that is. I have to teach in the morning. Rookies. They get worse every year."

"You're a fucking teacher?" I ask, laughing to myself a little bit. "Since when?"

"Uh, for about 2 years now. I'm an instructor for pilot school down the street. I was a carrier pilot back in the Air Force when I was younger. Went in straight out of high school. I got honorably discharged after an injury to my hearing and came back home and found a teaching job."

"How have I known you for this long and I didn't know you had a life outside of here?" I ask, completely dumbfounded by this turn of events.

He takes a sip of his drink and shrugs. "You never asked, kid."

"Fair enough," I say to myself.

"Sorry about Jesse tonight, man," I hear Artie say, as he dumps his stuff down on the bar top. "I had no idea that he was going to change that shit."

"Don't worry about it," I say, as I shake my head. "This isn't your fault."

"It seems like it should be," Artie frowns.

I take a long drink, "well don't let it be. I'll know better next time."

Artie picks up the items he just set down next to him. "I just wanted to come over and say something to you about it. I'm heading out for the evening, but I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"Same time, same place," I tell him, finishing off the last swig of my beer. I notice Jesse at the table on the far side of the bar, and want to walk over and say something to him, but I leave well enough alone.

That is, until he comes over by us to answer a phone call.

He turns his back to us. "Hey, Jameson. No, no, I don't have it yet. What do you mean you're going to close the fucking account? We had a deal, brother." He pauses. "You don't get to turn your fucking back on me! You hear me you limey bastard. After all I've done for you! You wouldn't have the guns or the speed or the money if it wasn't for me…" He waves his arms in the air. "Now you play dumb? You know what I'm talking about you sadistic prick. I'm talking about the $500,000 that I fucking wired to your broke ass so Menkins' goons wouldn't slit your sorry throat! I'm not working with Lopez, I can promise you that. I don't even like Cuban sandwiches. I have been 100% loyal to Leneghan and the rest of the Menkins." He pauses a second time, "Oh yeah! Well you can tell that faggot brother of yours that he doesn't want to push me." He lights a cigar. "You heard me Jameson. You can tell Thomas to go fuck himself!" He hangs the phone up and begins to walk back over to the table that he was at before.

Oh, shit. I've got you now, motherfucker. Red fucking handed. Will is going to have a field day when he hears about this.

I was fuming by the time I got home, so, I didn't even notice that I was still wearing my 90's get up. I knew there was a change of clothes in the truck but I didn't care. I needed to get inside, go to my room, and write down the names that I had heard coming out of Jesse's mouth as soon as possible. It wasn't much, but it was something.

I check my phone for any calls from Kurt and I have 3 missed calls from Quinn. I shake my head. When is she going to get the hint? As I make my way up to the door, I notice how loud the television is turned up. Kurt must have fallen asleep with Netflix on again, I decide, as I find my house keys. It's nearly midnight...there's no way in hell he's still awake.

I stop dead in my tracks as I see the sight in front of me. I want to punch something - anything - that is worth punching without having to risk our security deposit.

"Hi big brother," I hear Kurt say, as he pauses the television.

"Kurt," I say, looking absentmindedly at the two girls next to him on the couch. I've never seen the dark haired one before, but the other one, I've definitely seen more of her than I wanted to...

"These are the girls from school that I study with. Finn, this is Mercedes," he says, pointing to the dark haired girl on the right. "And this is-"

"Quinn," I answer, causing Kurt to give me a confused look. I squint my eyes and rub my head, "And you're suddenly friends with my brother?! That's real convenient. Are you fucking stalking me now?"

"Welcome home, Finn," Quinn says, smiling widely at me.

"You two know each other?" Kurt asks, puzzled.

"Oh, more than you know..."