This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written, so it might drag on a points BUT I hope you guys like it :D
It really was an unnecessary purchase, but the new wizarding radio sat on the desk that was against the wall as Remus sat back in his chair waiting. The day was long and the sun had long since set and a half moon was now high in the sky. It wouldn't be long now till Remus was back again in the cellar going through the full moon routine, and Sirius would be at his side as always. They'd tried for months just to let Remus be down there alone, but after the third month of scratches and pain Sirius realized that the wolf needed him, and he would ditch work those nights.
But tonight Sirius was very late from work; he should have been home hours ago, before the sun had even started to set. He was used to Sirius being late from time to time, but tonight it was too late for normal. He jumped from his seat on the couch as the static jumped to life with someone's voice. Fear clutching Remus like a motherly embrace, one that would not let him breathe.
"This is Major calling home base over!" Remus knew that voice, Sirius was in a fight. He could hear the spells zipping around him.
"Home base over, where are you Major?"
"Over here in Piccadi- augh!" The radio receiver cut out with Sirius' cry of pain. Panic rushed over Remus like a fever covering his whole body in a cold sweat. He was hoping he'd fallen fast asleep, and he'd wake up any moment.
"Major!" came a shout on the ministry's end. "Is anyone there?"
"We've lost them!" came another shout from the same end. "Send a group to Piccadilly!"
The static from Sirius' end opened up again and Remus breathed a sigh of relief he was ok! "This is Lancelot; we have a dark mark in the sky!" Remus didn't know this voice, but it only made the panic return, "Major is down, many of us are, and more Shadows are coming, we need backup fast!" the radio cut out again.
Remus sat on the edge of the sofa shaking; Sirius was injured and most likely sitting out on some London street dying. He rose to his feet pacing, he wondered how many families were doing the same as himself. All of them sitting around a wizarding radio, listening to see if they would be on the list of the dead or injured in the night raids.
"Lancelot come in, we need a status report!" a woman's voice called over the ministry end of the two way radios. No answer came; Remus could sense the waiting breathes of so many people. Would the man, who from his voice sounded maybe twenty answer back? Would anyone be around? It was very uncommon for a whole batch of Aurors even those in training to end up dead. But lately, it'd happened more than once. Two of Sirius' own comrades in training had been killed.
Remus waited, for what seemed like years till Lancelot's voice came back on the receiver. "They are leaving, He's called them back. We need back up, people are dying out here. Muggles and wizards alike. Bring Obliviators."
Remus knew a lot of the codes for what the Ministry used for the two way radio brodcasts. Shadows were Death Eaters, weak ones, typically those who had just been recruited. They were ones who typically everyone fought, if there were anything different Remus would be unable to control his fear. Major was Sirius' codename since his name came from Canis Major.
Remus wondered if Lily was listening tonight. James was always at Sirius' side on Auror missions simply because the boys never were apart. The two were a deadly force and were best when they were paired together. He also wondered if hidden in the Black house would Orion be listening. Wondering if his oldest son would make it today? Or wondering if maybe Regulus would be in the list of Death Eaters injured or killed.
Remus looked down at his hands before rubbing his face, he couldn't take the silence, and he needed the list. He needed to know where Sirius was, so he could run to him.
After every battle, or known battle that comes through the ministry they have a radio listing of those injured and where to find them. Death Eaters and Aurors alike, as well as any civilian or helping wizard who was involved in the fight.
And then came the list of the missing, it only would be of Aurors from the fleet sent. Anyone else, well they wouldn't know unless someone mentioned them.
And then was the list of the dead, anyone dead would be listed here. This was the most dreaded list of them all; the list grew day by day. More and more men and women died.
Despite only having the radio for only a few hours Remus knew how it worked. He also knew in a few hours they would have the day's list of captured, injured, missing and dead. He knew if Sirius came home he'd either react two ways to the new object, refuse to it ever being on when he was home. Or it'd never be turned off.
Hopefully his reaction would be the first. Remus didn't think he could bare hearing all the warnings day in and day out. He only was concerned when Sirius or James was out. As heartless as it sounded it was the only times he could bare to hear the terrible news.
When one left Hogwarts they were told a bright and long future was ahead of them, right now the only thing Remus thought was bright in his future was every full moon he would have to face. Nothing in this world right now seemed bright.
The commentator was talking now, with a list. With the call of Major on the injured list Remus stood up, and gathered his things. Ready to leave to the destination, but he waited. Listening to the names, how many of them had families, children? His blood ran cold as they covered the missing, only two for this raid. And finally the deaths.
He waited, holding his breath, making sure James wasn't on the list, and when he knew that it was all clear with a pop he was gone. Heading straight for Saint Mungo's.
Once there he looked around, so many people had followed his lead. The radio was listened to much more than he imagined, over in the corner was a grieving woman, a baby carriage to her right and a five year old to her left. He figured she was now a widow, he swallowed back the guilt as he walked forward. He couldn't look at anyone else; he couldn't dare look a man or woman in the eye who had just lost someone, when he knew down that hall Sirius would be alive.
"May I help you?" the sweet voice caused Remus to jerk his head up and stare at the woman, her dark brown hair framed her already red eyes. She must be new, tonight might be her first night of shift with attacks.
"I'm looking for Sirius Black, he was just admitted after the attack." his voice cracked with every word, the sounds of crying and the smells of fear and anguish was too much for his wolf senses. He could hear the wolf inside him cry for these people.
Despite it being a dark creature, the wolf had just as much feeling as he did. And he just like Remus could not take grief, wolves were pack animals and when someone of your pack passed away the grief was unbearable. And even though these people he didn't know he could feel their pain and their hurt and it caused him to ache deep in his chest.
"Ahhh Sirius, yes. You'll have to take a seat, he's in intensive care, and they got him bad with an unknown spell. Someone will be with you when more is known. May I take your name?"
"Remus Lupin," he breathed, he was shocked his name came out so easy. His body inside was shaking, intensive care? That was never a good thing. She led him to the waiting room, once he was in the room he made a beeline to the closest chair and as he got there he felt his legs give in and he collapsed in the chair and hid his face in his hands. Not letting himself cry, no he couldn't do that right now.
Hours passed by, and the room grew louder with other people waiting to be given the ok to go see their injured loved ones. And one by one the room cleared out. Until he was the only one left, he could easily figure out just why he wasn't being called.
He was merely Sirius' friend. Not his wife or a sibling, or parent. They'd have to wait till Sirius was completely in the clear before they updated him. He was sure Sirius' father had come and demanded to know what was going on, as well as to see his son. James probably was also granted admission for the simple fact that he had been in the same battle and would know what had happened.
Another thing Remus had against him was he was well known at St. Mungo's and not for anything good. This had been where he had come the morning he had been bitten, they knew him here. He'd been admitted into the ward for creature induced injuries. He had been pitted as a child, having to grow up with such a dark and dangerous condition. And it wasn't any wolf that had bitten him; it'd taken years for someone to figure out who had bitten him, and why they'd been so close to his family home
It was no ordinary wolf it was an alpha wolf, Fenrir Greyback had bitten him, who was the alpha of his own wolf pack, who when bitten had been bitten by another alpha. So it was in Remus' blood as a wolf to be an alpha, and alpha werewolves were dangerous, the hardest to control. So there was almost no chance he'd be allowed near Sirius.
"Remus," someone called, his head rose up and noticed the dark red hair instantly. Lily.
"Lily, have you seen him?" Remus asked looking up at her. Lily was dressed up as a healer; she was a healer in training. So there was a good chance she'd seen him at least once.
"Yes I have, he's asked for you twice. But there was just…so much blood. Only healers have seen him, so no worries were not shutting you out." She patted his thigh. "I've looked for you everywhere. It's been hard to find you along with working. But I owed it to you, to find you."
"Is he stable?" he asked searching the emerald green eyes. "Yes he's stable, his father saw him first. Which we figured you would understand. You know how Orion can be."
"I do, he probably was a handful."
"Much like any parent should be in this situation," she sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "A shitty time to get married, with all this death around. It's getting harder and harder on us Remus. James and I talked last night about running away." she looked at him. Remus looked back at her, fear in both of their eyes. James never ran away from anything, it was simple but in the mist of a dark war and with a newly wedded wife he wasn't too surprised.
"We talk about it all the time." she continued "The war that is, both from my healer eyes and his auror eyes. Remus…this has only begun."
"I know," Remus patted her leg. "And we'll all get through it. Just like we've said for years, anything bad is to happen, if the whole world was to crash and burn, it'd be us five standing among the rubble the last people alive."
"I'd be screwed." Lily laughed loudly, "Literally, I'd have to repopulate the earth."
"Sounds like a painful process." James soft chuckle was heard from the doorway "Its time to head home Lils, lets get Rem to Sirius' room and go to bed."
The walk down the white halls was agonizing. James stood on his left and Lily to James' left. He felt weak as he walked down the bleach smelling halls, so many rooms were now full of people, and it had been a large battle tonight. And it was only going to get worse. He could hear people crying, all of them different. Some were in pain, some in anguish, some in misery; some…some where the type of cries only a mother could make, when it's all over when she's outlived one of her babies. That's the type of cry that Remus can remember the most. It's the one that hits home. Because he can remember when he was in his own bed at five years old, the same cry echoing outside of his own room.
"Remus?" James whispered. "You ok?"
"Would you be if your places were swapped?" Lily asked taking James' hand as the stood outside of Sirius' room. "He's alright now Remus, just…weak." He nodded he couldn't speak but he turned and faced them, his eyes finally rimmed tears. Unable to keep them at bay any longer. He gave Lily a kiss on the cheek before holding her tight, opening his arm and letting James in clinging to the two like if he let go they'd be gone.
"He's safe Remus," James whispered. "He'll be ok in the morning, besides you get to take care of him for a while so one knows what you two will do." he winked. Lily elbowed him but James' joke had worked causing Remus to smile and his fears subside.
The two didn't leave his side until he walked in the room. Urgent care only allowed one visitor at a time, for the simple fact patients didn't need so much commotion around them while they healed. Remus stood over a sleeping Sirius and stroked the hair out of his face.
He could recall so many mornings in the hospital wing when Sirius had been in his place and Remus in his. He watched him slowly breathe, never really knowing just how much he relied on the sound to feel safe. His soft breathing slowly lulling Remus' worries and fears till they no longer lingered in his head.
He sat down in the chair behind him and took Sirius' hand and held it in his own. Just listening to Sirius' soft breathing before bringing Sirius' hand to his mouth and kissing each of his knuckles softly, tears trickling down his face with each kiss.
It'd been too close today, to close to him losing him forever. He rested his forehead on the top of Sirius' hand not daring to let it go. His hand became Remus' lifeline as he sat there, trying to control his emotions, Sirius didn't need this. Not now. Tomorrow when they were home he'd curl up beside him and sob, tell him just how stupid being an Auror was, and how he should quit. Tell him how much he loved him and how scared he was.
But right now, he'd just cling to his hand, and listen to the soft breathing that told him everything was ok, for tonight the world was safe once more.