Hot Shot's girl: Okay I did not expect this chp to be this long, but oh well you guys enjoy long ones :) I hope you enjoy and this may cheer up the mood a bit, but the next chp . . . ehhh, naw just kiddin' you'll find out. Later ;D
Arcee was all alone now. Just like before when she lost her memory. She wanted to be alone this time. Her grief was far to great and she didn't want to bring anyone down because of so.
She hadn't even realized Ratchet went back off to war till he was gone for about a week. When she did even more grief came upon her. She not only lost her daughter, but her sparkmate as well. She was losing everything, the nest thing she supposed was her mind which she wasn't far from losing.
Losing a sparkling is very difficult on a mother. They usually do lose their mind or worse--life. Arcee wouldn't lose her life, no, she'd just go on as one offline. She missed her so much.
As much that she could hear her giggling around her. Her mainframe was playng tricks on her and she knew, before long, so would her optics. She swore she caught glimpses of seeing her little femme's small white and pink frame run down a corner and avoid her. She'd often find herself on wild goose chases.
She knew it had to stop, but she couldn't. It seemed she'd never get over her daughter. She was too precious to let go of just like that. She promised herself she'd never let go and so that is what she'd do.
She didn't even speak to Ratchet all those months they were apart. Ratchet understood that she needed time to recuperate, but this was being a little ridiculous. He loved Arcee and was concerned about her well-being, but he figured she just needed more time to get over the loss of their only sparkling. Omega Supreme kept telling him to go back to Arcee and help her through this, but Ratchet wasn't raised like that--if they wanted to be alone then leave them alone.
Ratchet just hoped Arcee wouldn't take too long to come back to her senses. Even Ratchet was distraught over Ariel's sudden death. He wasn't the same mech like he used to be when she was alive. Arcee had to quit her job, she couldn't watch others' sparklings when it'd only remind her of her own. Her friends tried telling her it would actually help her overcome her grief by being around other sparklings and being like a mother to them, but she didn't listen.
In fact Arcee shut herself out from the world. She wouldn't come out of her home. She just wanted the world to forget her like good fate forgot her. It seemed like everything bad happened to her and her family, one of the reasons why she didn't want another sparkling.
She knew if she had another well-fate would run out and turn into ill-fate just like with her little Ariel. It wouldn't be fair to her little one. It wouldn't be fair to Ratchet. It wouldn't be fair to her.
Arcee wished she could just wither away and die like those organic creatures she's heard about on a couple planets. Oh what a blessing that'd be to her. Every day she was forced to see young sparklings playing outside with their friends, a few months ago Ariel would have been one of them as she giggled chasing the boys around showing how fast she was. She was always like that, challenging, one thing she got from Ratchet.
"Ratchet," sighed Arcee casting her optics down thinking of what had become of him these past three months they had been separated.
She knew there was no order to capture any Autobot medics and plus Ratchet was a fighter. He wouldn't die so easily. One thing she loved about him. Ariel . . . was like that too.
The more she thought of Ratchet the more she began to see how much their daughter was like him and so she had to stop thinking of him no matter how hard it was. It wasn't good for Arcee to be like this, not just because of her health, but for the little one she was carrying. Yes, just a month after Ratchet left Arcee found they had sparked a sparkling. She hadn't bothered to tell Ratchet, for what reasons she herself didn't even know.
She knew she should take better care of herself for them, but she was so deprived of happiness it was just so hard. When she found out she demanded the doctor who told her was lying. It took him saying it 10 times that she finally realized it was the truth. They would give her medicine to help with her depression, but it wasn't good if a femme was carrying a sparkling and so she had to deal with it herself.
The doctor figured now that she had a reason to live she'd lighten up a bit and smile for a change. Arcee knew she needed to spend more time outside and so once she did her mainframe began to come at peace. Yes her daughter was still in her spark and that when she'd sit on the bench by the small playground she used to take Ariel to she could still see her laughing and pushing Orion on the swings . . . but she'd vanish all-too-soon.
Arcee just sighed to herself wishing to see her daughter more, but only seconds was all she got. On her time of pregnancy she'd go to Ariel's grave where piles of crystal flowers were placed by loved ones and her many friends she had. One thing good about crystals . . . they never whithered away like organic ones. Arcee would only add to the piles and on her plaque was her hologram just smiling away and giggling.
Arcee just smiled seeing this. She had many hologram of her, but this one . . . was just her. Arcee placed her hand on her stomach and cast her eyes down saying-
"This is your big sister little one."
She then looked up as her optics narrowed from sad emotion. She inhaled and then exhaled her words as her lips trembled saying-
"You would have loved her."
At that Arcee bowed her head and got up leaving. She walked everywhere even when the time came near for her sparkling to be sparked. She didn't care though she wanted to be strong like Ratchet would have her be, but then again . . . he didn't let her do much when she carried Ariel so he'd probably have her stay inside all the time. One time when she went to a larger playground to remember the sight of a sparkling.
She smiled watching them all play and the other mothers, which knew her very well, were glad to be seeing her smile again. One time Orion Pax had come with his mother and father, whom he looked just like, and saw Arcee. He passed the other playing children and ran up to her.
"Uh, Orion!" called his mother knowing Arcee probably wanted to be left alone.
It was too late Orion was already up to Arcee just smiling away. Arcee returned the smile as he said-
"Hello Ms. Arcee."
"Hello Orion," said Arcee with a smile as she folded her arms.
"How's Ariel doing?" he asked. "Is she still recharging?"
"Yes . . . she will be forever," said Arcee trying to help the little one understand he can never see her again.
"Oh," he said bowing his head.
He then noticed she was with sparkling. Though he had no siblings of his own he's seen expecting mothers and knew what it looked like. He smiled as he patted her lightly on the belly saying-
"You're having a sparkling?"
"Oh, yes," said Arcee unfolding her arms and placing her hands on her belly as well. "Can you feel it?"
Orion placed his audio receiver to her belly and smiled wondering if he would hear of feel anything.
"Nnn, nope not yet," he said.
"Orion!" came his mother next to him. "That is rude! I'm sorry Arcee."
"No, don't be," she said with a kind smile like never before. "He's just curious."
Her optics slightly widened feeling a small kick. She then looked down as Orion shot his head up to her with a wide smile saying-
"I felt one, I felt one!"
"Mhm, that means that sparkling's doing just fine," sighed Arcee kindly.
"Well that's good," said Orion stepping back as his mother took his hand. "Can I see it when it's sparked?"
"Orion," his mother said looking down at him with dark blue optics. "The sparkling will be too new to take outside yet."
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Orion bowing his head.
"How 'bout this Orion. When its sparked I'll take it with me the next day here so you can see it," said Arcee perking her head out with a smile to him.
"Really?!" gasped Orion looking at her with cute wide optics.
"Mhm," said Arcee shaking her head.
"Can I hold it too!" he asked with a wide smile. "Mommy and daddy never let me hold sparkling 'cause I'm too little."
"Oh nonsense," scoffed Arcee playfully and leaning back on the bench. "You are almost a mech. You can hold a sparkling less than half your size right?"
"If you say so," said Optimus with a smile as he twisted his body back and forth.
"Then I'll let you hold my sparkling when you see me again 'kay?" smiled Arcee.
"'Kay," he said with a smile as he turned and ran off to play with the others.
"Arcee you didn't have to do that," said Orion's mother.
"No . . . I did," she sighed knowing she had to learnt to start letting go of her fears.
Alexis would return every day to the playground and just wait to see her own little sparkling running around playing with them. Orion would always like to feel it kick and often just sit with Arcee holding her hand and telling her things that have been going on in his life, or school. Arcee loved it and this helped her recover faster. She then knew her friends were right and so began to think of Ratchet.
She wondered if she should tell him and if not why? Why couldn't she tell him? What was so wrong with her that she couldn't tell her own beloved sparkmate she was expecting again like he wanted her to. Perhaps it was just that, or perhaps not she'd never know.
Orion was so sweet to her telling her how Ariel would have loved a little sister or brother and how she talked about wanting one for her 7 millienniunth sparkday. This just broke Arcee's spark. She didn't know Ariel wanted a sibling. She never really talked about it probably thinking Arcee and Ratchet didn't want anymore when, in truth, it never came to their minds . . . well . . . it did Ratchet, but never Arcee seeing how Ariel was everything she could ever want.
"She mostly want a little brother like I wanted one," he said playing with a toy in his hand as he sat next to Arcee on the bench. "I also wanted a little sister, but I don't think my parents will ever get me one."
Arcee just chuckled to herself knowing, when he upgraded, he'd learn there was so much more than just wanting another sibling and getting one. She then cast her optics down in sadness. Her little Ariel wanted another little one in their family. Arcee's only regret was not knowing it before it was too late.
"I'm sorry Ariel," she whispered to herself as her optics fell in sadness.
As the time came to spark the sparkling Arcee was brought to the hospital and there was sparked to her a son. She held onto him for fear of his life being taken so soon. The doctors said he was absolutely perfect and healthy, but she had learned that they are never 100 percent true. She grabbed his small hand and placed it in hers.
He had five fingers on each hand. She looked and saw he had two feet. She then turned to his face as he slumbered in recharge and saw he had two perfect optics a nose and a mouth. Arcee took her index finger and touched his bottom lip to make him open and yawn seeing he had a glossa and no teeth yet. Arcee let out a sad smile as she took her mech to herself and held him up to her neck.
Ariel would have loved him till offline. She always wanted a little brother and now here he is . . . Ariel . . . being unable to see him. She knew though Ariel would have wanted her to move on and have as many sparklings as she would have if ever she got the chance to upgrade, find a love and a mech who would cherish her till the end of time, bond, and have sparklings to give her creators grandsparklings.
"I'm sorry you never got the chance to see him Ariel, but . . . I know in my spark you would have loved him," sighed Arcee in sadness just seeing her daughter hold out her arms asking if she can hold him for the millionth time.
The more she thought of Ariel the more protective she got over her son. Arcee then took him off her neck and placed his little chest on her audio receiver to listen to the sound of his sparkbeat.
It was just another normal day at the med bay where Ratchet was stationed. Patients came in and he'd patch them up and they'd be shipped away. Ratchet had been down lately since it had been so long since Arcee has even spoke to him. Yes he's had longer, but he missed her and wanted so much to hear her smiling voice.
He came out one day to Omega Supreme who was just resting from a recent flight. Omega Supreme just looked at the downtrost doctor and just smiled. Once Ratchet came to pass him Omega couldn't help but say something.
"Hey Ratchet, congratulations on the little guy."
"What the frag are you talking about?" asked Ratchet halting in his steps and looking up at him.
"Uuuhhh, you didn't hear Arcee just sparked another sparkling?" asked Omega.
"NO!! Nobody tells me anything!!" cried Ratchet not knowing.
"SLAG!!" cursed Omega. "I keep forgetting to tell you these announcements."
He then looked down at Ratchet whose optics were wide and his mouth agape just a bit. Omega then asked-
"What?"
"Did you just curse Omega?" asked Ratchet in total disbelief.
"Oh no!" gasped Omega placing a hand to his mouth. "I . . . I'm ashamed."
"Ashamed or not it's about dang time," said Ratchet walking closer to him. "Now hurry up and transformer and take me to Arcee!"
"Alright," said Omega transforming and taking Ratchet as fast as possible to where Arcee was with the sparkling.
Ratchet ran in the hospital and quickly found Arcee's room where he came to her side as she held a small newspark sparkling up to her face just listening to his sparkbeat.
"Arcee," he said softly touching the side of her berth.
Arcee just smiled and then placed her son back in her arms where he cuddled up nest to her breast. She turned to Ratchet and said-
"He's perfect Ratchet. His sparkbeat, everything."
She then grabbed Ratchet's arm and worry came on her face as she said-
"Please say we can keep him, please pray to Primus that we can keep him Ratchet."
She was pleading with him, but Ratchet took her hand in his and softly sighed shaking his head. He looked down at the recharging mech and said-
"I don't think it's up to me to ask what I can keep and what I can't."
"But I can't lose another one," she said pressing her sparkling to her chest and leaning away from Ratchet a bit. "I'll die!"
"As would I Arcee, as would I," said Ratchet with a heavy spark.
Arcee then saw Ratchet's optics on their little mech and so denied herself from being selfish and held him down on her lap for him to see. She took off the blanket that warmed him and encouraged his spark to beat so that Ratchet could have a full look at his sparkling. The little one just laid there with his hands by his hand in a fist like all sparklings. Ratchet just sat there in amazement as he took his hand and placed it on the little one's belly.
He let out a small sigh and then turned to Arcee who didn't smile that much either, probably not wanting to just in case tragedy struck. Ratchet then said-
"Why didn't you tell me you had sparked a sparkling Arcee?"
"I just . . . had to do this on my own," she said with a slight roll of the shoulders.
"I see," said Ratchet. "May I?"
"Sure," she said letting out a smile and leaning back as Ratchet took the sparkling in his arms and held him close.
"Look at 'im," he said with a smile she hadn't seen since he left.
The sparkling had turned his optics on and just starred at the new transformer soon to be called father. Ratchet never thought he'd ever get a chance like this to hold another sparkling that was all his. As he scanned the sparkling he smiled seeing how it resembled Arcee, though instead of a pink color it was mostly red like his color.
"Heh, he looks like you Arcee," he smiled at her.
At that Arcee sighed and shook her head. There was no getting through to him. First he said Ariel looked like him which she did NOT and now he said he looked like Arcee which he did NOT. He looked just like his father, but Ratchet was just too blind to see it.
Oh well, she'd let Ratchet say whatever he wanted. Just as long as he was happy and their son as well. Ratchet then listened to his sparkbeat and smiled seeing how normal it was. He then shook his head as he placed the little guy on his shoulder saying-
"Yep, he'll be just fine. What should we name him?"
"Since I named Ariel I want you to name him," she said with a sigh. "I know you had mech names picked out just in case she was a mech.
"Well," he said rubbing his chin a bit. "I always did fancy Fender."
"Then Fender it is," said Arcee with a smile as she shook her head.
"Fender," Ratchet said looking at his little mech. "Fender welcome to the family."
The next Arcee took Fender to the park and there was little Orion sitting on the bench waiting for her. He smiled so wide as he jumped up and let her sit down with the baby. Arcee thanked him as she sat down. She had come alone for Ratchet had to return back to war, but he would be back later that day.
Orion stood near her as she unwrapped Fender from his blanket. He smiled seeing the young and small thing.
"He sure is cute Ms. Arcee," he said with a smile as he placed his arms behind his back and rocked back and forth on his heels.
"As promised," said Arcee holding him out to Orion.
"Me?" he said almost in disbelief. "Are you sure . . . he's so small."
"And you're so big. Come on, yuo can do it Orion," said Arcee with a smile.
And so he held out his arms and little Fender was placed in his hands just acting like this was the usual thing, being handed from one person to the other. Orion looked down at the little thing in his arms and just smiled. He wrapped his arms tighter around him and just was happy he actually got to hold someone.
"One day Orion, you may have to hold someone up, when you think you can't. Be strong and know you can," she said with a kind smile.
"Yes ma'am I will," he said handing him back to her and hoping up on the bench next to her.
He leaned over gazing at the sparkling. Arcee just smiled as she placed Fender in his lap and let him hold him for a little more longer. Ratchet had returned before dark and so they went out with Fender to Ariel's grave, there placing a crystal flower near her plaque and then watching her hologram.
"Here's your big sister Ariel," said Arcee showing Fender to the grave. "I know you would have loved her and she you, to have held you, and watched you upgrade . . . may you live the life that was so quickly taken from her."
"Good-bye my sweet," sighed Ratchet with a heavy sigh.
"We'll always keep you in our sparks and may Fender know you by your love and kindness as he keeps you in his spark as well," said Arcee bowing her head.
And so they left to go home and raise their little Fender. Hoping, praying Primus not take their last joy they'd probably ever have. If He did . . . they would just whither away into nothing, but knowing Ariel was smiling somewhere they knew that Primus would let this one live.