Me: Welcome… to the show THAT WILL CHILL YOUR NERVES… Barney!
Brambleclaw: It's better THAN HIGGLYTOWN HEROES…
Russetfur: You won't let go of that, will you?
Brambleclaw: Maybe not, it just depends, does it not?
Spottedpath: Quit saying not!
Brambleclaw: NOT.
Me: Well, say hello, Person.
Person: Hi, whatever, blah, blah…
Nova: Hi. We just can't help being dumb enough to listen to DemeterChild, master of dry humor, and coming to a studio that set on fire after 7 or 8 episodes.
Me: I didn't do it! You know the guy at the front desk smokes in the lobby!
Nova: I didn't know he was stupid enough to drop a cigarette in the middle of the lobby and say, 'Oops.' Like he didn't mean it, which he didn't…
Percy: I'm alive!
Onestar: (Cries with joy.)
Sprx: … You'd get it if you saw the last episode.
Annabeth: Hi. I'm not going to act girly; I'm not going to act girly… OH GODS, OH GODS! (Shrieks) THANK GODS YOU'RE ALIVE! (Suddenly gets out lipstick and puts it on.) I hate purple on me…
Me: (Slaps forehead)
Director: Okay, how do you work this robot…? (Presses self-destruct button)
BEEP.
BEEP.
BEEP…
Nova: Not again!
Gibson: SELF-DESRUCT BUTTON?! Who thought of that?
Otto: Oops.
Spottedpath: How many-
Voice: Opening kick-you-out-before-you-die safety hatch! Good luck… or goodbye…
Sprx: WHAT?!
Athena: I'd rather not-
(We all shoot into the air, and land on the edge of a town called Cheese.)
Blackstar: Is this a big joke?
Me: Not at all… where are we?
Dusk: Can we just start the questions?
Me: Okay then.
Dusk: This one's for Spottedpath.
Spottedpath, would you get rid of Squirrelflight so you could have Brambleclaw?
Spottedpath: No…
Me: Typical answer.
Antauri: I believe she was just addressing the she-cat fan club, but she was not a part of it.
Spottedpath: That's it exactly!
Brambleclaw: Rate me on a scale of zero to ten.
Spottedpath: 0.
Nova: Ouch.
Thalia: That's tough, dude.
Me: She is in a rival clan. Nobody should expect a high rating.
Percy: What is that supposed to mean?
Person: We forgot about his challenge!
Me: Oh well. Let's do it in December.
Brambleclaw: He won't do too well in Leaf-bare… MUAGAGGAGA!
Me: MUAGAGAGGAGA?
Brambleclaw: …
Dusk: Next up, Chiro.
Chiro, would you rather smash my counterpart in the head with a tennis racquet, or steal a chew-toy away from Malcolm?
Chiro: Hit you in the head. I'd rather not mess with Mal.
Sprx: Nice move, kid.
Spottedpath: Dusk, I don't think he's MANLY enough to hit a girl. For example… hit her, Chiro.
Chiro: Um…
Spottedpath: I guess that means no!
Dusk: I see.
Percy: Chiro… hit her! Show the girls we have guts!
Nova: Because the theory already exists that you don't?
Percy: Maybe.
Russetfur: This'll be good.
Me: Oh… only a few weeks until Christmas!
Russetfur: What?
Me: Thistle made me think of Mistletoe.
Russetfur: Oh…
Dusk: This one is for Nova.
Nova, why don't you want to hear Malcolm's name?
Nova: If you don't know already, you shouldn't know.
Sprx: I have an idea what it might be.
Me: What would THAT IDEA be?
Sprx: I can't say. Dusk's here.
Dusk: (Grumbles)
Spottedpath: I guess we should move on. We don't have much time.
Me: Oh, sure then. Dusk?
Dusk: This is for Otto.
Otto, can you make Firestar swallow Twoleg food?
Otto: Firestar, can you?
Firestar: (Winces) Why not…?
Otto: Yay! I'll get the burgers!
Firestar: (Winces again)
Squirrelflight: You're dead, Firestar…
Leafpool: Be encouraging!
Brambleclaw: He might not live this down though…
Annabeth: Cats have a really high hate level for us… I don't see why they haven't covered us in claw marks yet!
Athena: It is because of the obedience room thing… it can be rebuilt. Be warned, Annabeth. DemeterChild must be watched.
Annabeth: …
Otto: Here's a burger, kitty! (Sets it down)
Firestar: I truly will never live this down, Brambleclaw.
Brambleclaw: Just eat it.
Firestar: (Eats it, wincing over and over again…) It's actually… GOOD! Get me more, Otto!
Otto: Okay… anybody else hungry?
Dusk: I feel like a burger.
Me: I'll take the chance… we might not get food for a long time.
Otto: Okay. I'll be right back! (Leaves area)
Dusk: Thanks, Otto! Next one is for Annabeth.
Annabeth, do you like Percy?
Annabeth: I'd rather not answer that with my mom around.
Me: Nice try.
Annabeth: Oh, fine! I love him, etc… all that junk, we'll happily live forever until we get killed by dark forces, blah, blah, blah…
Spottedpath: …
Dusk: This one's for Night.
Night, what's your character like?
Night: You have to visit Demi's bio thing to find out. I'm too lazy to explain right now…
Nova: She used to be a kittypet is all I remember.
Firestar: That was true.
Nova: Was?
Firestar: We USED to be kittypets.
Nova: …
Sprx: I feel like a burger now. I think I'll catch up with Otto.
Me: Tell him to hurry. We're starving!
Sprx: Yeah, yeah. (Leaves also)
Dusk: This one's for… you, Demi.
DemeterChild, does your penname mean to be the daughter of Demeter from the CATS play? Or the Olympian goddess?
Me: The Olympian goddess.
Dusk: Okay then. We don't need comments on that one-
Brambleclaw: I want to see that CATS play.
Spottedpath: Good luck understanding what they say.
Dusk: Okay, next is for Antauri.
Antauri, why do you hate meat? (Honestly, I don't have the best liking to it either, but you know, just answer the question.)
Antauri: I happen to be a vegetarian; an idea adapted from many fan fiction authors is why.
Me: My mom needs to go with me to WAL-MART! Can we rush? I've got 4 minutes.
Dusk: Okay. I'll list the following:
Sprx, would you
rather slap Mandarin in the head thousand-fold or set Skeleton King
on fire? Annabeth, would you rather date a purified Luke or
Percy? Brambleclaw, do you like bubblegum? Mouse-flavored?
Me: Each of you does a short answer!
Sprx: Both… I'd love to see SK get a taste of his own poison.
Me: I thought it was medicine.
Sprx: Whatever.
Annabeth: Percy. DUH.
Brambleclaw: What's bubblegum?
Me: We'll continue next time! See you then!