A/N: This chapter made me want to freaking cry. It's strange though. I never write ANYTHING angst. I hate feeling sad. That really was the whole point of this fic to begin with, a "happy" fan fiction without being too terribly cliché. I want my darling Azula to be happy and loved, but I suppose to do so we have to address the fact that she never really was as a child. "happy and loved" I mean. It's a sad thing. I promise more happiness next chapter though.

Chapter 11

Everybody always leaves. No. Everybody Azula cares for always leaves. She used to think she was the one that was defective. That there was just something about her that made her unnecessary. Something that made her unlovable.

Even when she tried so hard, followed all the rules, performed well-above average in everything she was greeted with nothing but cool eyes. It never made sense. She would look around and see people who weren't as special as her, people who were stupid, slow, and low-born surrounded by herds of people giving them praise and hugs and love. Parents who told them they were special even when they obviously weren't. Friends who laughed even when they weren't being funny.

Azula was so smart. She was beautiful. She was talented beyond belief. Why then did her mother whisper things about her when she thought her daughter wasn't around? Why did all the silly little girls giggle over clumsy weak Zuko and want to be around him?

All these things made her think the world was unfair. They made her think that maybe she had a funny way of talking. Maybe she wasn't as pretty as all her maid-servants told her. Maybe there was just something, a vague indescribable "thing" that made her fall flat.

Her father told her that it was everyone else's short comings not hers. He told her that common people were inferior and hardly worthy of consideration. He told her there was no such thing as love other than love for your leader and love for your country. Of course he left too. Just like her mother. Just like Zuko, Uncle, Mai -- Ty Lee. The same seen played over and over and over again.

Azula had mixed feelings about her father at this point. He was the only one who ever gave a damn about her. He talked to her so sweet and gave her such pretty things. Of course he talked sweeter to himself and reserved the prettiest little trinkets for him and him alone. He walked away from her when she needed someone so desperately.

But still she knew her father was right. It was everyone else who had the problem. They were threatened by those greater than them. They didn't like being around some who made them look so dull and therefore prized inadequacy seeing the failings akin to their own.

That's why everyone left. They were weak. She was strong.

As a strong person she could handle it. She could let people pass her by and still not give in. She could be alone, she didn't need people that failed at everything. She didn't need that nice feeling of hearing someone speak to her with words of melting sweetness. Words of lies.

Azula could let Ty Lee go. She should. Ty Lee was one of the weak ones after all, that's why she was leaving. It was only a matter of time before this happened. Azula didn't need her. She didn't need any one. She didn't. She didn't.

Azula didn't move for the longest time. Uncle was speaking to her, first loudly then more soft, but she really wasn't listening. Her eyes were locked on the front door of the tea shop. She was counting down the minutes it might take Ty Lee to reach the tram. Counting down the amount of time it would take until she was unreachable again. Until Azula was all alone again.

She felt sick to her stomach. A little bodily ploy to tempt her to do the weak thing. Something to make her drop all her resolve and walk out that door, no run and somehow catch her. Azula didn't like feeling bad, and feeling was just the worst.

Ty Lee must have been all the way back to her little room in the tavern by now. Azula'd been counting and counting and counting. Still not too late. Still to dangerous to dare movement. Still couldn't trust herself not to break.

She allowed her feet some movement. Uncle was still babbling in her ear about something and the sound was starting to get jarring. Maybe a little bit of fresh air would help her to feel better. There was no harm, no temptation in just stepping outside the door and taking a mouthful of cool night air. Maybe it would clear her head. Help her differentiate between logical thoughts and perfectly logical sounding rationalizations.

The steps outside felt so tiring. Her feet were heavy lead weights, weak physical things detached from who she was right then, all she was right then, endless thoughts and mitigations. Nothing human to connect her to everyone else. Nothing that bristled when touched by a loving hand. She just felt so tired of it all.

Azula stepped outside, all feline grace, cool and silent resolve. She let the soles of her shoes hit the stone steps just light enough to make a noise barely discernable. Like a ghost on the scene. The tall fountain in front of the shop glimmered by the light of a thousand stars and hissed blissfully unaware of her presence. There would have to be ice covering the rim by now. Soon there would be no spout of water at all. Just cool unadulterated silence. Nothing to hide her presence from this place.

It didn't seem right. Too quiet. Just like yesterday and the day before. Water kept on moving, night kept bleeding into white cold day. This silent place was alone with her, alone for her.

The rooftop.

That's right. She still had the rooftop. Maybe her thoughts would be nicer to her up there. It had always been such a good place before. A rare moment of alone time. If she went there maybe she could trick herself into believing once again that being all by herself was a good thing. Strengthen her resolve. Stop whining and feeling sorry for her self.

She moved over to the side of the building in a meditative silence, squashing the desire to flat out smash the innocently resting flower pot by the door. Where the sudden anger came from she had no idea, but knew nothing could come of it. Her fingers brushed the cool ceramic tile with a sort of relief. The stretch of her muscles to pull herself up was a small slice of bliss. It bellied her desire to get up and run until every inch of her body was humming with life. Azula pulled herself so easy the wonderful stretch was gone before she could enjoy it.

What she saw…

Their eyes met with an almost palpable energy. Azula lost her breath. There were no words. Just nothing.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ty Lee started and tried desperately to scramble to her feet. There were track of eye make-up running down her cheeks. "I was going to leave. I just couldn't. Silly, I know. Stupid, really."

Azula just stared at her. She was starting to lose her balance a little standing on the edge of the uneven rooftop. Without speaking, or thinking really, she moved to her knees and continued to stare.

"I know you don't like me so much. I know you were just being benevolent putting up with me all this time. Maybe I'm just an idiot, but I really do like you. I really admire you. I just want to be around you, Azula." Ty Lee let her eyes go to her intertwined hands on her lap. She had relaxed a little when Azula didn't immediately shoot her down. "And this, right here, is where you are. I just wanted to say goodbye, one last time. You'd hear me I think. Even if you weren't listening."

"You are an idiot" Azula breathed. Her eyes crinkled as she saw the washed out look her words inspired. "I'm glad though. Very glad actually." Her breathing shook as it left her mouth almost like a laugh.

"Soo… I amuse you?" Ty Lee mouthed incredulously.

"Sometimes yes." Azula coughed into her hand. What was she saying? Her mind barely had the capacity to formulate words at the moment. She was so good at this too. Why couldn't she pin down what she wanted to say and say it. There was definitely something that she wanted to say.

"Well, I'm glad too. At least I'm good for something." Ty Lee bit at her shaky lips, and let another choking sob pass through her lips. The sound resonated through Azula's fingertips.

Why couldn't she say anything? This was it wasn't it? This was her hurting people. Azula the monster, thriving on misery. Even when she had the power to relieve suffering she didn't take it. There were just no words in her mouth or in her head or anything. She could scarcely breath let alone think.

What did she want? What did she want? By the gods, what the hell did she want?

"D-don't leave." Azula hissed helplessly, the words leaving her mouth before she could even think. The words came as a huge relief to her. She felt so much lighter having said them. For how long had she been wanting to say those words to someone? To anyone?

A small smile lit the corner of Ty Lee's perfect red lips, she looked down to hide it, "Of course," she choked, "Whatever you want Azula."