The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Chapter 11

A/N: Okay I know this story has a lot of flashbacks and things happening so here is a little summary!

What we know so far:

5- Santana was abandoned when she was 5 and lived with Brittany until she was 7.

7-When she was 7 she was adopted by a family who was not able to get pregnant.

9-Santana was in her room with wounds on her legs and she had a baby sister.

12-When she was 12 she ran away from her adoptive family and showed up at Brittany's with bruises. She only stayed one night and Brittany wasn't allowed to tell anyone and they had their first real kiss.

14-When she was 14 she told her foster brother she thought she was gay and he got upset.

17- Brittany finds her in the park once again and she comes to live with them

I believe that is all I've revealed, but there if anything else I forgot to add let me know! (: Also if you have any questions message me here or on tumblr, or ask in a review! I'm happy to answer anything!

o0o0o

Brittany pulls Santana closer to her, and rests her chin on the top of Santana's head. Even though she knew the answer, hearing Santana admit that those bruises had definitely not been from a bike crash made her angry. It made her angry and sad. She isn't sure who had done it, but she has a pretty good idea.

Santana had a foster brother, which meant she had been fostered. When she left their house at 7 she was going to live with adoptive parents. That means she got taken away from her adoptive parents for a reason. She was pretty positive, they'd been abusive. But she'd ask Santana about it later. She's already opened up so much today, she's sure she can't handle anymore.

"I couldn't get it out of my head for years after." Santana says, breaking their silence. Brittany can hear the smirk in her voice which confuses her. "Our kiss." Santana clarifies. It makes Brittany grin against Santana's hairline. "I wanted to kiss you again, so bad." She tells her honestly.

"I wanted to kiss you again too." Brittany admits. Want to kiss you again.

Santana smiles and pulls away from Brittany just slightly so she can look at her. "Apart of me was angry for kissing you." She says, and it makes Brittany frown. Had she regretted it? That was confusing, because she'd just seemed so happy about it. "It was a tease you know? I got a taste, but I couldn't ever have it again." She further explains, making the blonde's grin reappear. "But, I'd never take it back." She adds quickly.

Brittany chuckles and squeezes Santana, "I understand." She assures. "I thought about it for years after also." Brittany admits.

"Really?" Santana asks a little unsure. Why would Brittany think about their kiss that long? Obviously she'd gotten over her. She has a boyfriend now, and she's dated other people before him.

Brittany nods and grins widely at Santana, squeezing her a little tighter. "Really." She confirms.

"You know, technically you're cheating on me." Santana says after a minute. As soon as it comes out, she regrets saying it and laughs awkwardly, trying to brush it off. "I mean we never broke up." She explains further, only embarrassing herself even more. She just needs to stop talking now.

Brittany blushes and looks away briefly. It makes Santana feel even dumber. Why'd she have to go and say that? Now Brittany is uncomfortable.

"Brittany, I'm just kidding." Santana assures her with a forced smile. She's uncomfortable as hell, but she's trying to hide that so Brittany doesn't feel uncomfortable as well.

The blonde looks up at Santana and when she sees the smile on the Latina's face, she lets out a laugh. A true laugh. Not an uncomfortable one, or a forced one. She's actually laughing and it makes Santana let out a breath of relief.

"Technically, I guess you're right." Brittany says, after her giggles had subsided. Her face turns serious again and she watches as Santana's giggles slowly subside. "So you're still my girlfriend." She states slowly.

Santana smiles but when her eyes meet Brittany's she realizes Brittany isn't smiling anymore. It makes Santana's face grow serious also. "Britt…," She says with an awkward chuckle. She isn't really sure where this is going. She'd been completely kidding when she'd made the crack about Brittany cheating on her. She obviously didn't believe she was still dating this girl. She'd thought Brittany was joking with her also. Apparently not.

"I mean you're right, I never broke up with you and I don't remember you breaking up with me, right?" She asks and Santana slowly shakes her head, still unsure. She notices Brittany's eyes move down to her lips and it makes her feel nervous. "So it'd be okay if I kissed you right?" Brittany asks quietly, making Santana's eyes widen.

Her heart race picks up, and she knows she should pull back but she doesn't. Her face is inches away from Brittany's now. Her eyes move down to Brittany's lips when she notices the blonde licking them. Is this really happening right now?

"Right?" Brittany breaths out.

Santana shakes her head, trying to clear the fog but it's no use. She's too close to Brittany to be able to think clearly. But she remembers Brittany asking her a question. She's basically asking her permission to kiss her. What does she say? She should say no right? Right. Brittany has a boyfriend. Kissing her would be wrong. Wrong. "Right." Santana answers disregarding everything her head is screaming at her.

It's all Brittany needs, and she's leaning in kissing Santana with everything she has. It's not soft, but it's not too rough. It's perfect and shows Santana just how much she's wanted to do this for practically ever.

Once Brittany's lips on hers it seems like everything disappears. Everything physical in the room, and emotionally. It's like everything has been lifted from her heart and her mind and all that's left is Brittany. For the first time she feels safer than she's ever felt in her life, and she feels happier than she has ever felt. It's scary really. It's like she has no control on anything.

"Brittany," Santana mumbles, pulling away. It's hard and Brittany leans forward trying to follow her lips, but she manages to keep her away. "Britt…" She trails, looking down, her brows furrowing.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asks worriedly. She reaches out placing her hand on Santana's cheek, stroking it with her thumb. Kissing Santana had been ever better than she remembered. She wants to do it again, and again. Basically she never wants to stop.

Santana sighs and stands up off the bed. She can't think clearly being that close to Brittany. Especially when she's touching her so gently like that. "You have a boyfriend, that's what's wrong." Santana tells her, running her hand through her hair. She starts pacing the floor, her thoughts running a mile a minute through her head.

"I don't want to be with him," Brittany admits. "I want you. I have you. I've had you since we were 5 and that's the way I want it." She says, watching as Santana paces back and forth in the middle of the room. She wants to reach out and stop her, but she knows it's probably not a good idea.

"Brittany we were 5!" Santana shouts, startling the blonde. She stops pacing and turns towards Brittany, her hands thrown in the air. "We were 5." She repeats a bit calmer. "We're 17 now and we're completely different people." She says, but Brittany isn't sure what it has to do with anything. Sure they're older, but they're still Brittany and Santana.

Brittany slowly stands up and approaches Santana. She doesn't touch her yet, but she stands directly in front of her. Santana's fearful eyes meet her own and she smiles gently. "Santana, we're older, but I still want you to be my girlfriend. That hasn't changed." Brittany says firmly. "We haven't changed."

"Maybe you haven't, but I have." Santana replies, her eyes dropping to the floor. "Look, either way, you still have a boyfriend." Santana responds, looking back up at Brittany. "And I won't let you cheat on him. You shouldn't." She tells her honestly. "Especially not with me."

Brittany's brows furrow and she watches Santana as she quickly walks to the door. "What is that supposed to mean? Especially not with you?" Brittany asks confused.

Santana pauses, her hand on the door knob. "It doesn't matter." She responds simply, before walking out of the room.

"Santana wait!" Brittany shouts, throwing the door open. She grabs Santana and spins her around in the middle of the hallway. "I want to be with you Santana," Brittany says with so much honesty it makes Santana's heart beat speed up. "Don't you want to be with me?" She asks desperately. "Please tell me I haven't been reading you wrong the past few weeks."

Santana pulls her arm out of Brittany's grasp, but she doesn't walk away. "It's not that simple." She says, shaking her head.

"I'll break up with Artie." Brittany tells her seriously.

Santana looks up at her, her brows furrowed, "This is all too much right now." She says, trying to clear her mind. She has so many thoughts running through her head right now and she can't get a grasp on any of it. "I need to take a walk or something." She says looking back up at Brittany.

"Santana, talk to me." Brittany pleads.

Santana inhales deeply, and slowly breathes back out. "Look, I just have a lot going on in my head, and I can't process any of it." She tells her honestly. "I just need to clear my head a little. I'll be right back." She grabs Brittany's hands in hers and gives her a reassuring squeeze. "Just don't do anything you're going to regret okay?" She asks, giving the blonde a pointed look. "Think about everything before you make a move."

"Okay." Brittany says with a nod.

"Promise?" Santana asks skeptically, raising her pinky.

Brittany smiles and wraps her pinky around Santana's. "Promise."

o0o0o0o

Santana walks back into the house, and quietly shuts the door behind her. She sees Susan sitting on the couch on her laptop. The woman looks over at her and smiles. "You alright honey?" She asks, noticing Santana's features.

"I'm okay." Santana confirms. "I just needed to clear my head." She informs her. "Is Brittany not here?" She asks confused. She noticed when she came in that the blonde's car was no longer in the driveway. It worried her, considering what'd just happened not 20 minutes ago. Was she regretting what'd happened now?

"No she went out." Susan confirms. "She said she wouldn't be gone long." She adds reassuringly. "Did you need to talk about something?"

Santana shakes her head and gives the woman a small smile. "No, I'm good." She tells her. She debates going up into her room, but that'll just make Susan even more suspicious. She can't know what is going on. That's another reason Santana can't be with Brittany. She's living in their house. She can't do anything that will risk getting kicked out. She can't go back to the park and she definitely can't go back into the system.

"Come watch some TV with me." Susan says, patting the couch.

Santana hesitates, but nods her head. She sits down next to the woman and looks over at the TV. She's watching the news. Fun. Maybe, hearing all these depressing stories, will make her life not seem to suck so much.

"So what's been going on with you and Brittany?" Susan asks, not looking up for her computer screen. Santana's eyes widen and she opens her mouth but closes it back just like a fish does. She doesn't know what to say. How did she know something was going on? Does she know what it is? "You ran out of here and not two minutes after you left, she sped out." She explains with a shrug. "And you were upset earlier."

Santana sighs and looks down at her lap. She starts playing with her fingers, trying to distract herself What does she even say? She can't obviously tell her the truth. "It's nothing really." Santana says with an awkward shrug. "We just had a small disagreement about Artie." She lies. Technically it's not a lie though. Sure he wasn't the main focus of the disagreement, but he was a part of it.

Susan nods her head knowingly and hums in recognition. "I see." she says, moving her eyes away from her computer. She closes the lid and sets it aside, giving Santana her full attention. "What did he do?" She asks knowingly.

"What makes you think he did something?" Santana asks slightly confused.

Susan laughs dryly in response. "He's always doing something." She replies, lifting an eyebrow at Santana.

Just as Santana is about to respond, Ashley comes bouncing down the stairs. Santana rolls her eyes as the blonde sits down next to her. "What are you guys talking about?" She asks, her nosiness never failing.

"Artie." Susan responds and Ashley rolls her eyes and scoffs. They're both obviously not fans of him either.

"She still hasn't dumped that loser?" Ashley asks, sinking down in the couch. She props her feet up on the coffee table and grabs the remote to change the channel.

Santana half expects Susan to get onto Ashley for saying something like that about someone, but she doesn't. She doesn't condone it but she doesn't get on to her. Is there anyone who likes Brittany and Artie together? Besides Artie of course. Santana briefly wonders if they'd like her dating Brittany.

Susan gives Santana a pat on her leg and stands up. "I need to start dinner. If you want to talk you can come and help me." She says before she walks into the kitchen leaving Santana and Ashley alone on the couch.

Santana briefly considers going upstairs, but before she can even truly consider the thought, Ashley of course speaks up. "So you haven't made your move yet?" Ashley asks, looking over at Santana with a smirk.

"What?" Santana shouts. As soon as she says it, she realizes she said a little too loud and her head snaps around towards the kitchen. Susan is chopping some vegetables on the cutting board, and hasn't even looked up. Good. "What are you talking about?" Santana says in a calmer voice.

Ashley laughs at the Latina's reaction and shakes her head. "You guys are into each other." She says as if it were obvious. "I figured she would have dumped that wheel chair kid for you by now." She says with a shrug. "I guess you're not as cool as I thought." She sighs in a condescending tone.

Santana's brows furrow. "We're not into each other." Santana lies. "I'm not gay." Another lie.

Ashley laughs once again and it's not just a chuckle. It's a full blown laugh, with even a few tears. It makes Santana a little angry. This isn't a joke. "Santana," Ashley says, trying to control her laughter. It takes a minute, but she finally does it. And then she sees the anger in Santana's eyes. She knows she hit a nerve. "Look, I know I've been a bitch like ever since you've known me." Ashley says, rolling her eyes at herself. "But I know my sister and I know she's into you. I also can tell you're into her." She says giving the Latina a pointed look. "I made fun of you guys when you were younger for being girlfriends and everything, but I actually kind of like the idea of you guys together." She says honestly.

"Seriously?" Santana asks a little unsure. Ashley just nods in response. "Like I said I'm not gay though," Santana says with a shrug. "I mean yeah Brittany is awesome and she's my best friend, but I'm not into her like that." Lies. So many lies.

Ashley rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Keep telling yourself that."

"I have homework." Santana grumbles, getting up off the couch.

o0o0o

Santana is sitting at the desk in Emily's room doing her math homework. Homework is definitely a good distraction for her. She hasn't forgotten everything that happened between her and Brittany today, but it's definitely helping her to not think about it at the moment. How could she actually forget what'd happened? And how could she forget that conversation with Ashley? Is she really okay with it? Maybe, she's playing some prank on her, or scheming to get her out of the house. She wouldn't put that past Ashley.

Brittany had kissed her. She's been wanting to kiss Brittany since two seconds after their first kiss. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. She wants to do it again, but she can't. Brittany deserves better than her. And besides she has Artie. This whole, her breaking up with him just seems so sudden. Sure, they've been fighting a lot lately and Brittany has seemed unhappy, but she hasn't mentioned wanting to end things. Just earlier she was on a date with him, wanting to make up with him. It's just happening so fast.

Santana feels arms wrap around her neck and she just about jumps out of the chair. She relaxes though when she realizes it's Brittany. Of course it's Brittany, who else would do that? "Where did you go?" She asks, keeping her eyes ahead. She can feel Brittany's breath on her ear and it sends a chill down her spine.

Instead of responding vocally, Brittany pulls back and spins Santana's chair around. Santana looks afraid, and it makes Brittany's heart hurt a little. She's not exactly sure what she is afraid of, but she hopes she can make it better. "Hey," Brittany greets her with a warm smile, completely disregarding the question.

"Hi." Santana says slowly.

Brittany grins and leans in placing a soft kiss to Santana's lips. She pulls back and watches Santana's eyes slowly flutter back open, "I broke up with Artie." Brittany tells her with a wide smile. She leans in for another kiss but Santana pushes her back and stands up abruptly.

"You what?!" She shouts, her eyes going wide. "Why?"

It surprises Brittany and she falls forward, catching herself in the chair. She sits down and spins around to look at Santana, completely caught off guard by her outburst. She thought she'd be happy. They can be with each other now.

"What do you mean why? I did it for you." Brittany says, standing up from the chair. She walks over to Santana, and stops her from pacing by grabbing both Santana's hands in her own, holding on tightly so she can't pull away. "I want to be with you Santana." Brittany says seriously. "And I know you want to be with me." She says confidently.

Santana looks deep into ocean blue eyes. The ones she always seems to get lost in. She is trying hard this time not to get lost, because right now all she really wants to do is grab Brittany and kiss her forever, but she can't. "Brittany." Santana says, making Brittany frown. She hardly ever uses her full name, and definitely not in that tone of voice. If she does then it's normally not good.

"What?" The blonde asks confused, searching chocolate orbs. She's trying to find an answer in those dark eyes, but all she sees is hurt, and sadness, but she doesn't understand why.

"I thought I told you not to do anything rash." Santana reminds her.

Brittany rolls her eyes, "I didn't. I thought about it first." Brittany replies. "I've been thinking about it nonstop for weeks actually." She says honestly. "Even before you got here." She says, and Santana's eyes widen slightly. That was a big of a surprise to her. "I knew I needed to break up with him." She admits. "He doesn't treat me right, but at least he wanted to be with me. Every other guy in school just wants to have sex with me and never see me again." She explains, tears beginning to feel her eyes. "I was afraid I wouldn't find anyone else who loved me so I stayed with him. But then you came back…" She trails off, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "I like you Santana, and I'm finally doing something about it. I'm throwing away my safe net, and I'm taking a chance."

"We can't." Santana says simply, pulling her hands away from Brittany. She turns her body in the opposite direction. She can't look at Brittany anymore, the sadness on her face was getting too much for Santana to take. "I'm no good for you Britt, you deserve so much better than me. I'm too fucked up." Santana whispers, as tears begin filling her eyes.

Brittany grabs a hold of Santana's arm and spins her around once again. Santana ducks her head down, looking at the floor, still not being able to look Brittany in the eye. She knows how much hurt is in those blue orbs, and she knows she'll break if she looks, but she can't. She can't break. "You can't make that decision for me, San." Brittany says sternly, ducking her head down, trying to catch Santana's gaze. "I want to be with you. I'm not a child, I can make my own decisions. You can't tell me what's good or what isn't good for me." She adds, placing her hand under Santana's chin, lifting it up. "I've been trying to tell myself the last few weeks, I was still hanging onto a childhood crush, but I'm not. I still want you Santana." She admits sincerely.

Santana looks at Brittany briefly before letting her gaze fall to the side. She wants to tell her how much she wants her too. How much she's wanted to hear those words from Brittany's mouth since she's been here, but she doesn't. "Brittany, i'll just hurt you." She says as a tears escapes from her dark eyes.

"You would never hurt me." Brittany replies softly yet confidently. She knows Santana, and she knows the brunette would never to anything that would cause harm to Brittany. She dose everything in her power to prevent that form happening.

Santana lets out a sigh, before moving her gaze over to Brittany's meeting her blue eyes. "Maybe not purposely." She replies, wrapping her fingers around Brittany's pale wrist. She brings the blonde's hand up to her lips and kisses the back of it, before placing it back down by Brittany's side. "You deserve better Britt. So much better. Definitely better than Artie, and also better than me." She tells her honestly.

Brittany rolls her eyes frustrated, and shakes her head quickly, "Stop telling me what I deserve. I can make my own decisions." She almost yells in response. She doesn't want to get angry but she can't help it. Santana isn't being reasonable, she's not being fair. "You don't know that you will hurt me." She argues.

"And you don't know that I won't." Santana responds without a skipping beat. "I'm so fucked up Brittany. I'm a mess."

"You aren't fucked up." Brittany tells her softly. She brings her hand up to Santana's cheek and guides her to look at her. "You've been through a lot, and you're still going through a lot." She says knowingly. "But I want to help you. We can get through this together."

Santana sighs and grabs Brittany's hand, bringing it away from her face. But she doesn't let go of it. "I don't want to drag you into all of this." She says firmly.

"I'm apart of it." Brittany responds quickly. "I'm apart of it, and I want to be apart of it. And I will be apart of it whether it's as your friend or your girlfriend." She says just as firmly as Santana had been. "You don't have a say in it." She adds with a hint of a smirk.

Santana breaths out a small chuckle and shakes her head. "Brittany…" She says, but pauses, because she's out of things to say. She can't be with Brittany, but she's tired of arguing and she has nothing left to say. If they continue arguing she's just going to start repeating herself. She doesn't know what to do. It seems like they're at a dead in. Neither are giving in.

"Look, I know this is a lot." Brittany says with a sigh. "Let's just get some sleep and we can figure things out tomorrow." She suggests with a small shrug. "But please, think about it." She asks desperately.

Santana just nods her head, "Okay."

"Goodnight Santana." Brittany says softly. She leans in and places a gentle kiss to Santana's forehead. She pulls back smiles at the content look on Santana's face. Her eyes are closed and she has a small smile on her lips. The crease between her brows is gone and she looks completely relaxed. "Can I still sleep in here?" Brittany asks in a small voice, hopefully.

Santana's eyes slowly flutter open and she nods her head.

o0o0o

Brittany wakes up the next morning with a bright smile. Sure yesterday had been a long day. A long day filled with drama, but today is another day. And she feels today will be better. Even after sleeping on it, she doesn't regret her decision to break up with Artie. It may have seemed a bit rash, because she hadn't mentioned it to anyone. But she wasn't lying when she said, she'd been considering it for awhile now.

It was just hard, because everyone hated him, so she couldn't talk to anyone about him. If she would have they would've just told her to do it already. She needed an actual civil conversation. An unbiased opinion, but she couldn't seem to find one. That's why it took her so long to actually act on her thoughts.

Honestly, she has no idea what over came her yesterday when she kissed Santana. Sure, she's been wanting to do it ever since Santana moved back in with them, but she'd had an easy time keeping those feelings under wraps. Maybe it had something to do with yet another fight her and Artie had gotten into when she went out with him earlier in the day. She was fed up with him, and honestly to the point where she was too tired to fight herself on her feelings for Santana. She was also starting to get confused on why she was fighting herself on those feelings. She liked Santana, and she'd been positive Santana felt the saw way. And God knows Santana would treat her better than Artie. So why was she still with him?

Santana had been one of the reasons, she broke up with Artie, but she wouldn't say she broke up with him for Santana. She needed to break up with him, whether or not she was going to be with Santana or not. Everyone was right, he didn't treat her well. She just refused to see it because believe it or not, he treated her better than any other guy has ever treated her. Even her girlfriend hadn't been that great, and there weren't many girls in Lima that were gay or bi-sexual.

Santana coming back into her life just gave her the motivation she needed to end things with him. The way Santana makes her feel and the way Santana treats her, reminds her of how she should be treated, and how she wants to be treated. It was a much needed wake up call.

Speaking of Santana, Brittany rolls over and opens her eyes, her smile still stuck on her face.

It quickly turns into a frown when she realizes Santana is nowhere to be found. She quickly climbs out of bed, checking her bathroom, but Santana isn't there either. And there are no signs that she'd been in there recently. She pulls on some clothes and makes her way downstairs expecting to see Santana watching TV or in the kitchen eating breakfast. She's not in either rooms.

"Mom, where is Santana?" She asks curiously, and a bit worriedly.

Susan turns to her daughter and frowns. "I haven't seen her." She says, her brows furrowing. "She's not still sleeping?" Susan asks, her own concern growing.

Brittany just shakes her head and dashes back up the stairs. She searches every room, even Ashley's, looking for the Latina. But she's nowhere to be found.

She's gone.

A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm not too sure about this chapter! So feedback would be bomby!