Chapter 11: Heard it from a Friend

The tall woman's white hair stood on end and her light blue eyes sparked as she confronted the Jedi Council on Dantooine. "She has been spotted on Tatooine consorting with." Her mouth drew into a contemptuous sneer. "Him!"

"Spies have we now?" Master Vandar queried.

Master Zhar's lekku twitched in agitation. "Master Vandar, remember you don't speak like the other Muppet, I mean the future you!"

"And that makes me very happy," the little green guy said. "His backwards speech annoys me."

"Masters!" The woman gestured and the sleeves of her white robe, struck Master Vrook in the face who howled and whose features became even more severe.

"Atris, we are grateful you came to us with this. We already knew Jaden was…" Vrook cleared his throat, not sure how to phrase it delicately.

"Doing the horizontal mambo," Master Dorak suggested.

"The down and dirty?" Master Vandar chimed in. "Being boffed by the hunky captain?"

Master Zhar added, "The nasty?"

"Not Jaden!" Atris shrieked. "Bastila is with him!"

Vandar's wrinkled skin puckered even more. " Him who?"

Atris sighed. "You know---him?" She injected enough venom into the last word to kill a planet.

Dorak caught on. "Oh, you mean…"

Atris flew to his side and clapped her hand over his mouth. "You must not speak his name!" Her eyes were wide and fearful.

"This has been verified? Bastila has been hanging out with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Master Dorak was flustered. "We must do something about this. I mean, I'm sure it's just an infatuation, but…"

Master Vrook filled in the gap. "But we all know his ability to bond. This must be stopped before it goes any further. We must get one of our young Knights to pretend to be Revan. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would not dare pursue a romance with Bastila if Revan shows up."

"I think I know just the right person for the job. I mean, he can just show up on Tatooine, challenge the Exile to a duel, lop off his head and come back to his studies."

All the other Masters stared at Atris, confounded.

"Jealous you sound." Vandar quipped.

"Master Vandar," Zhar sighed. "You're doing it again."

"Sorry, hem, hem, hem!" Vandar waved his three fingers. "We will try a hologram first. Perhaps the Exile will back off, or it will be enough to remind Bastila of her duty to the Order."

"A singing candy gram?" Atris could not believe her ears. "At least send her a dozen red roses. Red is for passion and blood and Sith holocrons!" She looked mortified for a moment as the Masters regarded her with slight suspicion. "Or so I've been told," she added lamely, hoping to allay the doubt in their eyes.

The others relaxed and voted on sending Bastila a hologram and a box of assorted chocolates and a dozen roses.

Unknown to them, Atris slunk out of the Enclave and met a tall, young raven-haired man with sky blue eyes. "I charge you with this noble quest,' she told him. "Go to Tatooine, find Bastila and take out the one known as the Exile."

He kissed her hand. "I accept this duty, my Master."

She put a finger to her lips. "S-hhhh, what part of secret apprentice don't you understand?. No one must know you exist."

He smirked. 'The Exile will only know I exist two seconds before his head leaves his body."

***

After they went back to the cave and got the second star map, all Jaden had wanted to do was to jump Carth in the shower and then fall asleep in his arms. A ticker tape parade with balloons and floats to honor the conquering heroes was unexpected, but the smuggler reveled in the attention as she did the queen's "wave" from the front float. The Jawa Iziz and every parent in Anchorhead who had been sacrificing their virgin daughters to the krayt dragon for years, were so grateful they had arranged a parade with all the trimmings.

Jaden and all the others waved to the crowd that lined the street. Once the parade was over, the mayor of the town presented her with the key to the city and she was given free rooms in the local hotel for her and all of her guests, including continental breakfast and maid service.

She led the way to the Hotel Kaliforniya that was conveniently close to the cantina and everyone was assigned to a room. Lena and Larry shared one and to her surprise, Juhani wanted to share one with Jaq. Cal was too much of a gentleman to compromise Bastila, of course. Or maybe he just feared what Revan would do to him.

Jaden didn't care. She stripped and then yanked all of Carth's clothes off and they hopped into the refresher to take a long ,lustful shower together.

Bastila found the door open, heard the water running and sighed, knowing what was taking place.

"Tell me or I'll never touch you here again." Jaden's voice could be heard over the shower and it was smoky with desire.

"Dammit, woman!" There was the sound of a wet slap like a hand upon a bare backside.

Bastila had wanted to talk to Jaden about where they would go next. She knew she should leave—this was really inappropriate behavior on her part and theirs, but the sounds they made as they made love, drew her like a moth to a flame.

"Tell me or I'll never kiss you here again."

Another wet slap and a giggle. Is he spanking her? Her own posterior ached for someone's hand on it. How does it feel to have someone…? Is it exciting? Bastila's face grew warm and the moth began to back up, and backed right into the flame. She started when warm hands came down on her shoulders and even warmer lips nibbled her neck then nipped her earlobe lightly.

"I never figured you for voyeurism," a low, sensual voice rumbled.

"Cal?" She turned and looked up into his sparkling eyes. The light and shadow in the room played over his handsome features and she could barely breathe. "I---we shouldn't."

"I know." His lips came down on hers. "Are you listening to them?" He whispered as sounds of low chuckles and giggles and moans and groans came from the refresher room. "They sound like they're having so much fun."

"There is no peace. I mean there is no emotion there is peace!" Bastila felt hot color rise in her face.

"There is passion," he spoke the last word against her lips, his tongue flicking against the barrier of her teeth.

"T-the Sith say that, not Jedi!"

"I'm not a Jedi."

"But I am and I…"

"You and Revan, yes, I know." He turned and slammed a fist on the top of the bureau. "Dammit, it's all I can think about. He doesn't deserve you, Bas-mia. He turned to the dark side! Don't blind yourself to the truth."

"Cal, I have to see this through." She grasped his hands and gazed imploringly into his eyes. "Please, when this is over."

"When this is over, you'll be with Revan." He turned on his heel and stalked out of the room.

Bastila tried not to cry as she made her way back to her room. There was a flashing light on the holoimager the room came equipped with and she turned it on.

"Hologram for Bastila Shan. The following is a message from Revan."

Bastila's mouth fell open as a shadowy figure in a hooded robe began to sing.

Heard it from a friend who

Heard it from a friend who

Say's you've been messing around.

They say you've got a boyfriend

You're not following the Jedi Code

And I have to say, babe, it's bringing me down.

Stay away from the Exile

With his tempting smile

I know he's been hanging around

I won't let you go without a fight

You go with him and

I'll strike him down!

Baby, you better end it tonight!

Bastila recognized the singing voice as Master Dorak's. She was so ashamed she could barely stumble from her room back into Jaden's. They were still in the shower and she placed the box of chocolates and red roses on the nightstand next to the bed. She took one perfect rose, went to Cal's room and knocked on the door. When he did not answer, she opened it and called out softly. He was not there so she laid the rose on his pillow, one tear falling beside it.

She went to her room and fell on the bed, sobbing as if her heart was breaking.

* * *

Cal barged into the cantina and found Jaq sitting at the bar watching the live Twi'lek dancer. He signaled the new bartender, ordering juma juice. Jaq took his drink-befuddled gaze from the dancer. "Having woman problems are ya, mate?"
"None of your bees wax, Jaq."

"You're very grumpy. Never seen you grumpy before, Cal." Jaq leaned in close and almost knocked Cal off his stool with his breath. "I've seen you sleepy, sneezy, bashful, occasionally dopey, but never grumpy. Not good, mate." He grabbed the juma shot glass out of Cal's hand and bolted it down. "That will wreak havoc with your ulcer, mate. Ole Jaq's got a solution."

"I'm in love with Bastila." Cal could not believe he'd said it aloud.

Jaq grimaced. "Really not good—the lass being a Jedi might---never mind." He waved the bartender over and ordered milk for Cal and juma for himself. "Mayor said we could have all we want to eat and drink." Once their drinks were set down he held his up and after a moment, Cal repeated the action. "Take what ya can." Jaq toasted.

"Give nothing back!" Cal thudded his milk carton against Jaq's shot glass.

* * *

Early the next morning another ship set down near the Ebon Hawk and the Apprentice alighted. He delighted in making the Czerka employee who tried to extract 100 credits from him jump through flaming hoops. He was dressed in dark robes and he kept the hood up to conceal his features. He toyed with the idea of getting a suit of armor made that would look like Revan's during the Mandalorian Wars and decided in favor of the idea. The shock factor would be worth the credits. He found a local armorer and was measured and fitted. The upper part of the armor (cuirass) had hardware attachments for the mantle and small O rings. He gave the armorer a computer generated holo and the man labored for several hours, completing every piece. The armorer's discerning eye made the distinction between what Revan wore to hide his face as not being a helmet of Mandalorian design but a mask. He created it from a vacu-mold he had in the shop and flaked some of the red around the eye slit to make it look battle worn. He detailed the border with black between the dark grey and red. He added dark plasteel over the eye slit to obscure the eyes.

The Apprentice donned the black, long-sleeved under layer and black leather gloves and the black, pleated Hakama trousers.

The armorer took great pride in his skill and work and he helped the Apprentice adorn the many, complicated pieces, snapping on the vambraces that enclosed his forearms to the wrists. He sewed in the detailing near the wrist, middle of hand and toward the fingers on the hand armor. He called in a favor from the fabric shop located next door, ordering a black, full length cape that was box-pleated, along with a full hood with a drape in front to create a cowl-like appearance. He attached the capelet to the cuirass hardware, two on the left, two on the right, draping it about the shoulders of his client.

He fashioned a large O ring to attach to the abdominal armor and hung the fabric attachment. A red, pleated draping fabric in front and dark metallic boots completed the ensemble. He strapped on the mask and added the side plates that would conceal the face and stepped back to admire his client.

"You'll win best costume at tonight's costume ball with this, I guarantee it, young sir."

The Apprentice smirked, admiring himself in the full length mirror. This should be enough to strike fear into the heart of the Exile. If he backed off Bastila, then the Apprentice supposed he could spare his life. He would attend the ball and spring his surprise there.

***

Cal and Jaq wandered through the costume rental place, pondering what to wear. Next door was the armorer and Cal' s mouth dropped open in alarm when he saw a manikin in the dress window that wore a distressingly familiar set of armor. He dashed in and found the man had reproduced Revan's armor down to every last detail. An idea of what to wear to the ball formed a light bulb over his head and he smiled.

Jaden and Carth walked hand in hand, looking through the racks of costumes. Jaden picked put a pair of dark brown pants with one inch sewn in yellow stripes, black gloss boots, a long-sleeved shirt and a short captain's jacket.

"What am I supposed to be?" Carth accepted the bag from the proprietor.

Jaden smirked. "A scoundrel."

"Maybe you should wear it," he teased, brushing a lock of her hair back out of her eyes.

"Nah, I saw something next door I'm going to wear. It's a surprise, so don't ask."

"Frilly, lacy, silky?"

"One hint—it involves leather."

"A dominatrix?"

She giggled. "You wish, flyboy!"

"I think Juhani already has dibs on it anyway."

"I thought she was going as a pirate wench since Jaq will be in full pirate regalia again. Those two are a strange couple."

"They aren't---coupling, are they?" Carth looked uncomfortable at the thought.

"According to Cal it's more like she's his pet."

"What's Bastila going to wear?" Carth really wasn't interested, but it made for some interesting sparks in Jaden's eyes. She was still pissed at the Jedi.

Jaden shrugged exaggeratedly, as if she could care less. "You know, this would be the perfect time for Revan to show up because nobody would know it was him, even if he showed up in his armor. They'd think it was just another costume. That would sure throw a hydrospanner into Bastila and Cal's relationship, wouldn't it?"

"Hey, I like Cal!" Carth drew her against him and kissed the tip of her nose. "What are you up to, missy?"

"I like Cal, too—a lot. I see where this is going. She'll break his heart." She batted her eyes at him. "I'd never do anything to hurt him. He's a sweetheart."

"Okay, I don't like him that much." He swatted her rear end and she swaggered away, throwing a naughty look over her shoulder.

"Are you ready to tell me what's been bothering you the last few days, Mr. Closed Mouth?" She put her hands on her hips.

He sighed. "I just, when I bring up my wife you seem to want to turn a deaf ear and it's hard for me to tell you everything else that happened after Telos's destruction."

Jaden lowered her eyes for a moment and then she smiled gently. "Tell me and I promise I'll listen to every word. Promise." She crossed her heart.

So Carth told her about Admiral Saul Karath, his one-time mentor who had tried to recruit him into the Sith and had given the access codes to Malak, making Telos defensive. and his motivation to find Saul and kill him. The tale wound on and Jaden kept her word, using her full willpower not to yawn or make a wisecrack. He wound down and she kissed his cheek.

"That was a lot to get off your chest," she told him and pressed her cheek to his chest, listening to quiet rhythm of his heart. The beat quickened as his arms came around her. "I love you, flyboy."

"I love you, smug-girl." He chuckled when she raised her head and anger flashed in her eyes. "What? You get to call everybody by a nickname and I can't give you one?"

She laughed after a moment passed. "Guess that's only fair, Captain OJ."

He looked unhappy. "That orange jacket meant a lot to me."

"Yeah, that's what I told Iziz and when his people found it, I sent it to the cleaners. It should be back in our room before the ball tonight." She giggled at his astonished expression. "I'm not just a girl out for herself. I watch out for my crew and anything I can do for you, I will." She pressed her body to his. "Anything."

"Behave, woman." Carth pecked her cheek.

Jaden's brows flew up like two startled flushed birds. "What was that? Was that supposed to be a kiss? That has got to be the most sorry-ass kiss in the history of the galaxy."

"Jaden, cut it out!" He backed her into a corner where nobody could see them and tore at the necessary items of clothing that let him access what parts of her he wanted to ravage and then he made savage, passionate love to her, both of them mostly fully-clothed. He fastened the closures on his pants and hers, after pulling them up over her slim hips. "No complaints?" He was the one with the smirk this time.

Jaden dazedly followed him back into the street, a brilliant smile on her face. She linked her arm in his and they sauntered to the end of the town. Jaden saw there was a droid shop and dragged Carth inside. The owner, an Ithorian lumbered over and Jaden quickly bartered with him for parts for T3, telling Carth she wanted to upgrade the little droid. Just as they were about to leave, Jaden glimpsed a tall, menacing looking droid about the height of a protocol droid, but all similarities ended there. This droid was a rusty red with glowing eyes and its head slowly scanned the room and Jaden was certain it missed very little of what was going on.

She was drawn over to the droid as if he was a magnet and she was a steel filing. She looked it over, approving of its design. The glowing red eyes shone down at her as the head stopped its moving and they seemed to brighten, reflecting her interest.

"Query: Like what you see, potential buyer? I am fluent in over 10 billion forms of communication."

Jaden frowned. "I find that hard to believe."

"Query-reevaluation: Would you believe 36,342?"

Carth scratched his head. "Ah, I don't know."

"Revised query: Would you believe I have the Idiots Guide to Alien Dialects in my memory banks?"

Jaden shook her head and started to move away. "Uh don't think so."

"Re-Revised statement: Would you believe I have a Thesaurus and spell-check in my memory banks?"

"What are your other functions?" Jaden asked, her interest starting to wane.

"Proud statement: I am proficient in maiming, torturing and killing in horrible ways any meatbag you if you become my new master name."

Carth was scandalized. "You're an assassination droid?"

The droid gave the distinct impression it had put a finger to its mouth, if it had one. " Lower auditory statement :S-hhhh, prospective meatbag buyer. If I answer that question I will have to kill you."

Jaden was thinking about buying the droid, Carth could tell. She smiled when she had an idea. "Droid, can you tell if someone is lying?"

"Answer: Yes, dilation of the pupils; change in blood pressure and heartbeat; increased respiration—body language. Tics. Tells, twitches…"

Carth raised his hands. "That's enough."

"Sold."

"Warning: The Ithorian has decided I am to be an expensive item."

Jaden nodded, but it was as if the droid knew she was not sure and decided there was something else it had to do to sell itself.

"Jocular statement: A meatbag walks into a cantina and approaches the bartender and says 'Can you help me?' The bartender pulls a blaster on him and the meatbag says thank you and leaves."

Carth scowled. "I don't get it."

Jaden snorted. "It's obvious. The meatbag had the hiccups." She snickered. "Meatbag, I love it!"

Carth shook his head. "I will never get droid humor."

Jaden went over to the Ithorian and haggled the price down to an amount she was willing to pay, which was 2500 credits.

Carth tried to talk her out of it, but her resolve was firm. "I want him. I love his sense of humor. What's his designation?"

"Proud statement: Master, I am HK-47, proud to serve."

Carth snorted. "How good can he be if there were 46 models before him?"

"Point of fact: There is no HK-48."

Jaden removed the restraining bolt. "HK, come with me. We are going to the Costume Contest tonight and you are going with us."

"Sarcastic retort: Oh, I am thrilled, master. Oh, I said it again."

"Said what?"

"Reluctant response: Master, oh, how I hate that term."

Jaden grinned. "Then you can call me mistress."

"Qualifying statement: It is in my programming, much as I would prefer you to be my mistress. Ha-ha!"

Jaden turned to Carth, beaming. "Isn't he cool? That's what I like about him."

Carth sighed. "Whatever flies your shuttle."

Jaden walked proudly beside her new toy. HK's menacing appearance kept any riff-raff away from them and cleared a path, so they were not bothered. Jaden stopped in the general store and bought spray paint and a fuel funnel. She always had her tools in a pack on her belt, so she spray-painted HK bright silver and welded the funnel at a rakish angle on top of his head.

"Dripping sarcastic statement: Thank you, Master. Query: Couldn't I be Iron Meatbag instead?"

Jaden smiled. "I think you look dapper." She patted HK's main panel. "Do this for me and I'll upgrade you and get those protocols you lost going again, HK. The paint is water soluble and will wash right off. We'll take you to the local speeder wash and you can walk through and I will remove the funnel and use the steel sander and freshen up your original paint and you will look super."

"Exclamation: Master, I feel an emotional response from my central core!"

Jaden giggled. "Just one other thing, HK. When you get to the ball, there's a secret pass phrase you have to say to get in." She stood on tiptoe and whispered it into the droid's audio receptors.

"Query: Is there no way around this, Master? Wouldn't you rather I go outside the main gate and be scoured by the next sand storm or taken by the Jawas and dismantled?"

Jaden's shoulders shook she was laughing so hard. "The key word is 'Master'."

HK made some sound as if the droid was moaning. Carth and Jaden took him to the hotel so they could change into their party clothes. HK patrolled the hallway and when Mission came out of her room dressed in a white blouse under a blue and white checked gingham jumper and red glittering slippers, he raised his assassin blaster rifle

"Warning: Halt, meatbags! This is the master's room, so get lost, you and your big dog, too."

Big Z had stepped out of the room and roared at the droid, who was not impressed. Larry had straw stuffed in farmer's clothes and a floppy hat and Lena was dressed in a lion's suit, with a long tail that dragged on the floor. Jaden clapped her hands.

"You guys look great! HK is joining your group" She winked at Mission. "Get it?"

Mission winked back. 'Got it!"

HK was reluctant to leave, but Jaden reminded him she was his master and he walked off with the motley crew of Twi'leks.

* * *

The Costume Ball was held once every year at a large dome in the center of the town. Sentients came from miles to attend. It was the biggest social event of the year. Lush gowns and men's dinner jackets graced the elite and most of the crowd wore costumes of other eras—of famous celebrities. Dancing would go on for two hours and then an elaborate meal would be served. The Bith band, the Synyster Sith was there to provide music and play selections from the guests. Their lead singer a…wait for it.. Twilek called O'dor Russ was busy conversing with Alpha Cuu on a song selection. The decorations were Naboo Deco, in tasteful silver, black and red. Balloons floated above the milling throng.

The mayor of Anchorhead stood near the main entrance to welcome the guests. He was a Twi'lek and had taken an immediate liking to Jaden and he looked forward to seeing her again.

* * *

Dressed in Revan's armor, Cal stood in front of Bastila's door and knocked. This was probably one of the stupidest ideas he'd ever had, but he needed to see her reaction to the return of the great Revan. Bastila opened the door and fell back, gasping, going for her double-bladed lightsaber.

Cal had not expected this reaction. Surprise—dismay, perhaps, dislike, even better, but terror?! He did his best imitation of Revan, folding his arms over his chest armor, projecting the arrogance and charisma of the man. He tried not to show any fear.

Bastila seemed to be measuring him and frowned. "Too tall," she muttered.

He knew she would recognize his voice even through the mask, so he kept silent, watching her.

"It can't be." She deactivated her lightsaber. It was the first opportunity he had to see what she was wearing. It was a cream gown with silver stitching on the hem and about the scalloped neck. She had a jeweled headdress and her hair was caught into an extravagant assortment of braids with beads and jewels wound into them. "Did you send the singing hologram?"

He nodded. He had no idea what she meant.

"Am I supposed to go with you to the ball?"

He nodded again. Why not?

Staying silent, he offered his arm and she took it.

* * *

Mission , Larry, Lena and Big Z, along with HK entered the hall.

A Twi'lek dressed in a green silken suit stopped them and asked for the password.

The Twi'leks shrugged. They gave the man their invitations and told him the mayor himself had provided them, but the Twi'lek was adamant.

"Statement: We are here to see the Wizard. Addendum: Someone kill me now." HK accompanied them inside and then set out to find and interrogate the meatbag called Bastila Shan for his new master.

When Cal and Bastila arrived the green man had been replaced by a Zabrak with a red face and tattoos on the face and close to the horns on his head. He was dressed in black robes and was holding a double red plasteel rod.

"Password?" He blocked their way with the red alpha acrylic rod. It had a light source inside and came close to looking like the real thing.

When Cal/Revan still did not speak, Bastila said haughtily. "Can't you see who I'm with? Stand aside for Revan, you twit!"

"Yeah, you and everybody else, lady." He allowed them to pass, but before he did, he hung a number around Cal's neck. Cal picked it up and it said # 42, but it made no sense to him, so he let it slide.

Bastila came to a grinding halt and rubbed her eyes as if she could not believe what she was seeing. Revans were everywhere! Short, fat, tall—all with the full armor of her escort. Was this some kind of sick joke the Council was playing on her?

Cal was never more glad for the mask than he was now, because now he knew this was the dumbest thing he'd ever done. He unlinked his arm with Bastila's and headed out the door to find a change of costume. The costume place was still open, but there were only two costumes left---a set of smelly Starkiller armor on sale or… He chose the latter.

The Apprentice sent the doorman who dared to challenge him out into the street without opening the door first. He was outraged when he saw all the fake Revans, although he was an impostor, but he was the first. The armor had been built for him! That damn armorer had taken his idea and mass-produced it!

He unleashed Force lightning into the crowd and panic ensued, beings hiding under tables and some crashing through windows to escape the Dark Lord's wrath. Captain Jaq noticed his flashy entrance and wove his way through the screaming, thrashing throng. He doffed his pirate's hat and bowed rakishly. There was a bullhorn was on the floor where the doorman had dropped in his hasty exit and Jaq seized it, bringing it to his lips.

"May I have your attention, please. All of you wannabe Revans, the real Revan has entered the building. Now, perhaps if you go on your knees and bow and a few 'All hails' would not hurt as he passes; however do not touch the armor whatever you do."

Beings of all descriptions bowed low, showing their respect, quaking in their expensive costumes as the Apprentice strode toward Bastila who was stunned and unable to move. Suddenly, Cal came in. He wore all black, including a long black duster and dark sunglasses. His hair was gelled back and held tightly to the nape of his neck in a pony tail. He looked totally badass.

Bastila saw him and she darted through the crowd, past the Apprentice, but froze when lightning shot over her head, aimed at Cal.

Cal tried to dodge, to roll, to move fast, but his body only seemed to be moving in slow motion as did the bolts of lightning. The outfit seemed to have a mind of his own and leaned his body away from the lightning at an angle that would have been impossible had he tried it consciously. The bolt passed harmlessly over his body and struck the far wall. Cal slowly ascended until he looked like he was in suspended animation and one knee lifted so that he looked like he was doing the Corellian Crane kata. Now, if he could just get his leg to unlock so he could kick the jerk that was attacking him.

Bastila froze Cal's attacker and ran to him. Balloons fell from the ceiling and glitter filled the air. Cal lowered to the floor and caught her in his arms, picking her up, carrying her out of the melee.

She gasped once they got back to the hotel and he paused in front of her door. "Cal, I…love you. I have never said that to anyone. What…I felt for Revan was nothing. I know that now. The Council has gone too far. I…take me, my love, my Cal-mia!"

"Are you sure?" He carried her into the room and shut the door. The bed seemed to have a spotlight over it and there were rose petals strewn about the room. When Cal saw an orange flight jacket he knew he had the wrong room. "Um, this is Jaden's room."

Bastila giggled. "I cannot think of a better spot for this to happen, can you?"

"But they might walk in on us." He looked daunted at the prospect.

Bastila pressed her lips to his. "You look…so bad and it makes me want to be bad. Oh, Cal, let's take a shower together—get that gel out of your hair and—and perhaps you could spank me?" She blushed.

Cal smiled his gentle smile. "I love you, Bas-mia." He blushed, too. "Darling, there's no going back."

Bastila had him put her down and she led him into the refresher. "What do I do first?" she asked. "Where do you want me to touch you first?"

There was the sound of the shower as it was turned on. Cal's voice could barely be heard above the water. "We'll take it slow and easy."

Unknown to them, glowing, red, eyes scanned the room as HK came in. "Statement: Ah, meatbag squishy parts slapping together. I shall wait for them and when they come out, interrogate the Meatbag Shan for my master. The meatbag Exile is familiar to me. I will have to find out why."

Conclusion: Yes, you meatbags out there reading this, it is the end of another chapter, ha! ha!"

A/N Thanks to all my readers who find this as funny to read as I do to write. Hope this chapter makes ya laugh and no drinking or eating while reading. Anybody out there have any ideas what else could happen on Tatooine or should Jaden blow this popstand and go somewhere else? Thanks and enjoy and May the Farce be with you, always!

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