Author's Note:
Hey guys! Want to know what I said right after writing last chapter? Well, after writing such a cruel chapter, I said that I was going to update really quickly to make up for it. Woops. That didn't happen, did it? Heh. Well, I want to thank everyone that reviewed/favorited/followed. Actually, double thanks to those who reviewed. You guys are the best. So keep on doing that. Maybe I should stop talking. Here's chapter 11.
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!
Chapter 11
Shizuo's eyes investigated the busy, sterile hospital hallway outside of Izaya's room. His nose wrinkled at the strong smell of cleaning products, and the lingering smell underneath it of cafeteria food that wafted under his nostrils. It made him want to vomit. Nurses occasionally bumped past him, causing him to curse loud enough for them to turn back with a disapproving look and snap at him a half-hearted apology.
He swiveled his body around to stare daggers into the back of a nurse that didn't even bother to give him an apologetic glance when she ran a cart of medical supplies over his foot. Shinra nudged his elbow into Shizuo's side, and Shizuo turned to give his attention to the doctor standing in front of them. Shizuo eyed his name-tag, Dr. Gabriel. It was clear that Dr. Gabriel was blocking Izaya's door from them; standing directly in front of the handle. Shizuo had already came to the conclusion that the guy was an asshole, given that he hadn't said anything even remotely helpful yet.
"Your friend is pretty lucky, y'know, for being hit like that and only having the minor injuries he has," Dr. Gabriel said casually, and adding a whistle at the end indicating how impressed he was.
"'Lucky'? He got hit by a truck and you say he's 'lucky'?" Shizuo snarled, taking a large step into the man's personal space. The doctor eyed the limited space between them, then glared at Shizuo with a look of obvious annoyance.
"Listen, pal, it's not my fault he got hit by a truck. It was unfortunate, sure, but just be glad he came out like he did," he hissed.
Shizuo snapped, the edges of his vision blurring with tinges of red. He crossed the already small space between them, then lifted Dr. Gabriel off the ground by the front of his shirt. He saw the doctor's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed nervously, but the rest of his expression, both facial and body, remained placid.
"You're pissing me off," Shizuo growled. He had no other sensible reason for his actions besides that he was just so fucking pissed. He didn't know if it was because of the cocky doctor's attitude, or because of Izaya, but he just felt filled to the brim with rage. Rage at what he couldn't stop- couldn't fix- even though he wanted to so badly. He wanted to stop that truck, to have helped Izaya before it was too late; but he couldn't. Scratch what he said before; it was clear that Izaya was the cause of his anger. It always has been.
Shizuo felt a hand grip his shoulder, and he turned his head to Shinra who's mouth twitched up into a small smile.
"I think he understands, Shizuo, you can let him go." Shizuo let go of Dr. Gabriel's shirt, and took a step back. The doctor smoothed out his shirt, giving Shizuo a disgusted look. "So can we go visit him now?" Shinra asked. The doctor eyed both of them warily, considering his options, then reluctantly took a step away from the door.
"Be my guest," he said, though not sounding very happy about it. Shizuo walked past the doctor, returning his previous dirty look with one of his own, then entered Izaya's room. Shinra followed, apologizing to Dr. Gabriel before also walking into the room.
Compared to the excitement going on outside of the room, the room was silent once Shinra shut the door behind him with a soft click. The only noise was the heart monitor rolling out it's usual beeps that Shizuo has now grown to cherish, and the barely audible sound of Izaya's calm breathing. Shizuo first thought Izaya was asleep, but as he came nearer to his bedside Izaya's eyes snapped open and locked onto Shizuo with the energy of someone who could have only been wide awake.
"You're awake," Shizuo acknowledged, immediately feeling stupid for having to say something so obvious. He almost expected a snide remark about his stupidity to be thrown at him, but when none came he reminded himself that everything was different now. That Izaya was different now.
Shizuo and Izaya held each other's gazes, until Shinra cleared his throat, breaking their stare. Both of their eyes were now redirected at Shinra. Shinra didn't even shift or flinch at the intensity of Izaya's stare, but instead walked to Shizuo's side by the bed.
"The injuries aren't bad, he'll be able to leave in a day or so," Shinra paused, then added, "Only to be supervised constantly. He's not mentally-well; I had to convince the doctors to let me take care of him. Instead of, well, a mental hospital." Shizuo wasn't able to hide the horror he found in that option. "I know. That's why we have to have him on lock-down; any more situations like this and he will be forced to move there," Shinra said grimly. Shizuo moved his gaze back to Izaya, who seemed unfazed by the idea of living in a mental hospital, or maybe he just didn't even hear them. Locked away in his own prison of a mind, just like before. Just like before. A cold chill swept down his spine, as the moment Izaya died replayed in his head.
Shizuo leaned forward until his nose was nearly touching Izaya's, who had turned to once again stare at Shizuo. Unlike Shizuo's breath, which came out as hot blasts of air, Shizuo could barely feel Izaya's breath against his face. He thought of what Shinra would think of this, but immediately decided that he didn't give a shit anymore.
"Izaya, wake up," Shizuo growled, then realized his poor choice of words. Izaya wasn't asleep, but for some reason his mind couldn't come up with any better word to replace it. "Wake the hell up, flea." Shizuo caught a flicker of recognition in Izaya's eyes, and his pupils expanded and shrunk as they adjusted to the lighting of the room.
"Shizuo?" Izaya breathed. If Shizuo wasn't staring straight at him now, he wouldn't have even considered that whisper belonged to Izaya. Shizuo leaned back to give Izaya space.
"Welcome back," Shizuo mumbled gruffly. Izaya wiped the dark circles under his eyes with the palms of his hands, grumbling something incoherent. Izaya removed his hands, and his eyes wandered the room before him; taking in each item occupying it.
"I feel like shit," Izaya complained.
"You got hit by a truck; what the hell did you expect it to feel like? Warm and fuzzy?" Shizuo snapped, with more than a small amount of sarcasm tangled in his words. Izaya looked annoyed and mildly impressed at the same time. Amusement tugged the corners of his mouth up to a small smirk.
"I don't like it when the tables are turned like this," Izaya commented.
"So you finally sympathize with me over all the years of dealing with your annoying shit?"
"Not nearly enough to stop." Shizuo opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, rethinking his response.
"You haven't changed, have you?" Optimism rang clear in Shizuo's voice. Izaya's smirk shifted into a slight frown.
"We both have. You know that," Izaya stated calmly. Shizuo's gaze dropped to his lap, and he chuckled softly.
"Yeah, guess so."
There was a reason Izaya always escaped when he could; these hospitals were Hell. Doctors and nurses rushed in and out of the room, always carrying some new contraption with each trip. It made Izaya's head spin as tried to determine each person's intention as they approached him with clipboards and head felt too heavy to be carried on his shoulders, and a groan escaped his lips once peace finally settled in the hospital room. His eyelids dropped as weariness from the day became more conspicuous.
"Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked into the open air around him. A pause of silence made him consider that Shizuo had somehow disappeared in the short time since he closed his eyes.
"Yeah?" Shizuo confirmed his presence, and Izaya opened his eyes to look at the blonde-haired man.
"Do you think that if this situation had never arose- me being schizophrenic- that our relationship would have ever become like this?" Izaya asked. Shizuo scowled at him.
"You're pulling this philosophical bullshit on me now? Damn it, Izaya, you're in a hospital bed."
"Fascinating observation, Shizu-chan, but I'm already well aware of that. Now answer the question." Despite the words indicating playful sarcasm, Izaya spoke with a business-like tone. Shizuo gave a short, harsh laugh, and ran a hand through his hair.
"Honestly?" Shizuo met Izaya's eyes and sighed, "No. It would have never happened; I would still be throwing vending machines at you and you would still be cutting me with those damn knives of yours." Izaya sighed contently, and shifted his body until he was comfortable in the bed.
"That's what I thought," Izaya murmured sleepily, and closed his eyes once again, this time not reopening them shortly later. His breath evened out and soon he was deep in slumber. Shizuo leaned back into the chair he had pulled up for himself and groaned.
"You asshole. Why do you always do that?" Shizuo whispered to the sleeping informant in front of him, "Why you can't just be easy to be around? Why can't we ever just have a normal conversation?"
Shizuo jumped as he heard the door creak open. Shinra stuck his head past the door.
"Hey, mind if I come in?"
"No, go ahead." The door swung open wider, and Shinra entered.
"How's he doing?" Shinra asked over his shoulder as he turned to shut the door behind him.
"Sleeping," Shizuo muttered, his attention back to the man in front of him.
"Good," Shinra concluded, pulling up a chair beside Shizuo's and sitting down. "He needs his rest." Shizuo gave a quick glance over to Shinra; more out of acknowledgment than anything else.
"When can he leave?" Shizuo asked nonchalantly, although his voice hinted interest.
"The doctors have to finish up some tests, but they said most likely tomorrow morning." Shizuo nodded, then fidgeted around in his seat until his head rested against the back of the chair and he seemed remotely comfortable. Shinra frowned as Shizuo shut his eyes.
"You don't have to sleep here. We can come back in the morning to get him."
"I'm staying. I'll see you in the morning, then," Shizuo muttered. Shinra's frown deepened, but he nodded in understanding.
"Goodnight, Shizuo," Shinra sighed, and left.
Shizuo stayed with Izaya through out the whole night. Occasionally waking up to observe Izaya- who was sleeping peacefully. It seemed so long ago when Shizuo's mind would go blank with anger as he would trash Ikebukuro in attempt to kill Izaya. He most likely would have been doing the exact same right now if it wasn't for Izaya's condition. It should have upset him to think that it was a disease that brought them together in this way, but it didn't. He knew Izaya could see something was there, and it just made him happy. Actually happy. It felt surreal to him; to feel something besides boiling rage, but it felt good- something he could get used to.
Sunlight streamed past the shades of the hospital room announcing morning. He could hear the hospital coming to life outside of the room, but the door separating them seemed to separate the excitement from their peace, as well. Shizuo waited for Izaya to wake up, and within an hour or so Izaya's eyes fluttered open and immediately locked onto Shizuo. Izaya gave Shizuo a crooked smirk.
"Good morning," Izaya said, his voice thick with sleep.
"'Morning," Shizuo grumbled, yet returned his smirk. "You get to leave the hospital today." Izaya sat up as he fully awoke.
"About time."
Shortly after Shinra and Celty arrived at the hospital Izaya was all prepared to leave. They exited the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the hot concrete. People pushed past them as they continued to their own destination. Izaya took in the environment around him along with a deep breath. He's felt like he's been away from reality for so long, yet it hadn't changed at all.
Everything was familiar as they walked back to Shinra's. The familiarity of someplace he's often saw, but it contained the vagueness of a place he's never been to; almost like being placed into the scene of a book. Izaya expected everything to break under his touch, or to not be there at all, but when his finger skipped lightly across the sides of buildings the surface remained solid under his touch.
Eventually Izaya just fully stopped in place, and placed both palms of his hands flat against the side of a building. His hands absorbed everything that made contact with his skin. He could faintly feel the vibration of electricity, heat, and water rushing through the building; like blood keeping it alive. Izaya could feel every crevice, every crack, and every imperfection within the walls.
"Izaya? You coming?" Izaya turned his head to Shinra, but didn't remove his hands. He felt the building pulse underneath his hands, and he didn't want to take his hands away from it. Celty stepped forward.
-Are you okay?-
Izaya grinned, and finally removed his hands. He started walking in the direction of Shinra's, and his hands went cold as only air brushed against them.
Izaya sat down on the couch, and looked around the living room. It, too, hadn't changed, and Izaya found relief in that. It made him feel slightly less insane.
"Everything alright?" Shinra asked as he walked over to stand in front of Izaya. Izaya nodded, his eyes still relearning every detail of the room. "You're going to have to stay here for a while." Izaya took his gaze away from the left corner of the room to look at Shinra, and frowned.
"I can go back to my own apartment."
"No, you can't. You have to stay here, or your other choice is a mental hospital."
"I'm not going to a mental hospital," Izaya retorted.
"No, you're not, because you are going to stay here," Shinra stated, and walked away.
Izaya felt the couch sink in as Shizuo sat down beside Izaya. Izaya felt the air draft in the small space between them.
"I want to talk about us," Shizuo said.
"Go ahead."
"Well, is there an 'us'?" Shizuo asked. Izaya stared at the air in front of him, mulling over his thoughts.
"Yes." Shizuo looked at Izaya, expecting an elaboration. Izaya sighed, "There is something there, I agree."
"And?" Shizuo spoke up when Izaya ceased talking.
"And I'm willing to try it." Shizuo scooted closer; crossing the small space between them. He wrapped an arm around Izaya, and pulled him to his side. Izaya's head dropped involuntarily to Shizuo's shoulder. It took a few moments for Izaya to get over the unusual feeling of someone being so close, but as the minutes went by and their positions didn't change, Izaya relaxed and sunk into the shoulder underneath him.
Izaya's mind- which seemed to never take a break- finally slowed down, and thoughts started to disperse, creating a pleasant, empty space in his mind.
"I'm willing to try it, too," Shizuo whispered.
A/N: Okay, there's chapter 11. Now is the time I say that this fan fiction is almost over; there will probably be one or two more chapters, and then an epilogue. And then that's it! I do want to apologize for the last section. I was (am) really tired, but I was determined to post this update tonight. That's why it ended abruptly/badly, and that that whole section overall is poorly written. I apologize for it's OOC-ness, too. I know it's there.
You could still make my day(s) by reviewing. *insert puppy-eyes here*