Chapter 11

Emery was still in hospital. She was laying in bed looking out the window. She didn't have the strength to walk around, well according to the doctors. She rested her arms across her stomach and breathed in and out. Loren walked into the room with a coffee for Emery. Emery sat up and took the cup from her mother. She drank some. "Is Jay here yet?" Emery asked. Loren sat in the chair near the bed and shook her head.

"Not yet," Loren smiled. "I'm sure he'll come don't worry," Loren reassured and smiled. Emery smiled back.

"When do I get out of here," Emery put down her coffee on the table next to her. Loren stared at Emery. Emery smiled. "What," she chimed.

"Why did you do it," Loren asked. Emery sighed and shook her head not wanting to answer. "No, baby just tell me. I need to know why," Loren begged and reached for her daughter's hand. Emery moved her hand. "Emery,"

"It's my life, I can do whatever I want," Emery knew that was a stupid answer and hated when people said it because they never meant it.

"Emery,"

"Mom, I don't how to explain what I was feeling. I just felt like too much was coming at me. I couldn't handle it. Everything was falling apart," Emery answered honestly. Loren hugged Emery.

"That's why I'm here. To take some of those hits for you," Loren kissed the top of Emery's head. "I love you and if things get too hard you need to tell me. You can stop working if you want. I won't object. I'll get a job," she looked down at Emery.

"No I can handle it," Emery didn't want her mother working. She had caused enough stress by doing what she did.

: Later :

Emery was out of the hospital by the afternoon. She said she was fine and would never do it again. Her mother vouched for her. So they released her. Emery walked to one of the elementary school yards near by. She knew she would find the Z-Boys there and sure enough they were there. She walked over to them. Stacy was standing on the top part of the concrete that was higher. She walked behind him. "Go," she shouted to scare him. Stacy jumped back and nearly fell she grabbed his hand and smiled. Stacy smiled and threw his arms around her. "Hey," she said kind of laughing.

"Hey," he said and kissed her. "I missed you."

"I know I got the letter," she teased and laughed. Stacy didn't want to let her go.

"I made the team," Stacy announced happily like a little boy getting his first bike. "Skip told me this morning,"

"Wow. So I don't have to spend anymore money on contests for you," she joked and glanced around to look for Jay. "Where's Jay," she asked still smiling.

"Uh…I don't know. Sid went to look for him but he hasn't come back," Stacy noticed that neither Sid nor Jay was around. Emery nodded.

"Well do you want-," Emery began but Stacy looked at his watch.

"I gotta go to work. I'll talk to you later," he quickly kissed her and left on his skateboard. Skip walked over to Emery with a cigarette between his lips.

"Nice to see you are better," Skip smiled and threw the cigarette butt on the concrete and put it out.

"Thanks Skip," Emery smiled. "Where's Jay," she asked thinking that Skip would know. He kept a tab on every Z-Boy. Skip shook his head and shrugged and adjusted his sunglasses from slipping down his nose. "Okay well I'll go look for him," she grinned and headed out of the school yard. Tony saw Emery and skated over to her.

"Hey Em," Tony picked up his skateboard and walked with her.

"Hey Tony. Okay you have to know where Jay is," she insisted. She was kind of scared that no one knew where he was.

"I hate to say it but I don't know," he shrugged. "I haven't seen him all day which is weird. I'll go with you to look for him," Tony was actually being sincere, which was a big shocker. Emery nodded and they headed to the P.O.P. thinking Jay would be there.

Jay was sitting on top of the broken down ticket booth that was held up by semi- broken pillars. He had his skateboard next to him and just stared out into the ocean. He bit his lip and then licked his lips. He felt like there was nothing more for him. He felt like he lost everything he held close to him. "Bro," he heard a voice coming from behind him. "Where the hell have you been," the voice came closer and Jay turned his head to see Tony and Emery.

"I don't want to see you guys right now leave a message after the beep," Jay turned away from them and stood up still staring out into the ocean.

"Like hell. Jay, your mom has been calling to my house asking for you and I don't think she liked the fact that I kept telling her that I didn't know where you were," Tony turned Jay to face him. Emery stood next to Tony.

"You're fucking him know," Jay glared at Emery. "Some advice Tony she isn't that good," Jay was turning into someone else.

"Jay!" Emery exclaimed.

"What Emery afraid of people knowing that I popped your cherry," Jay grinned. "Its okay baby," he touched her cheek. Emery smacked his hand away.

"What the fuck happened to you!" Emery didn't understand why Jay was acting this way.

"Nothing. I'm fine," Jay smiled. "I'm fuckin fine!" he howled. Tony didn't know what got into his friend. He was acting more like an asshole than the Jay Adams they knew.

"Jay!" Emery shouted. Jay looked at her and leaned in closer to her.

"I don't want to talk to whores like you," he whispered to her. He could feel his heart turning cold and bitter. He never thought he would tell Emery that but he just thought it was for the best to push her away than bring her any closer. Emery slapped him. Jay slapped her back. "Don't touch me whore!" he screamed at her. "You're just like your father! You bring people close to you and get what you want then you leave! Is that how you got Tony and Stacy huh?" Emery held her tears in and just stared at Jay. "Thought so! You're just as fucked up as your father!" he shrugged. "Guess like father like daughter"

"Jay shut the fuck up!" Tony yelled.

"Don't stand up for her. I've done it and you get nothing out of it," Jay was just pushing Emery further away. The further he pushed the more he lost himself.

"Fuck you Jay! You can die for all I care! I don't give a shit anymore! I stood by you when you needed me and the one time I don't you turn on me…guess all that you said to me was bullshit," Emery was crying now. Jay stared at her. "Yeah Jay I heard you! How God would have to come down and take you away from me. And how you needed me! I guess that was all bullshit? Well let me tell you the truth! I was going to break up with Stacy 'cause I loved you too much and I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to leave Stacy for you! Now what? Huh?" Jay remained quiet. He didn't need to push her away. He was going to get her, he just fucked up everything. "That's what I thought," she slapped Jay again and walked off crying. Tony shook his head at Jay and followed Emery. Jay stood alone. He didn't need to shut off the world. What he longed for he was going to get. He didn't need to let go of the fantasy, it was going to become a reality. He turned to the ocean and just screamed.