Bea had been laid in bed for almost an hour now, and sleep was evading her. She couldn't get the kiss, or kisses out of her head, and the feel of Allie's lips on hers was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. They had spent the last hour before going to bed talking and sharing light kisses, and she couldn't be happier. The redhead suspected Allie was deliberately holding back through fear of freaking her out, and while part of her was grateful, the other part wanted to know what it would feel like if she lost control. Bea never knew that she could feel so much just from kissing someone, although she was positive that she would never feel this way with anyone else. But there had been something about Allie right from the start, something all-consuming and she couldn't fight it, even if she wanted to.
As she laid there replaying the events of the evening she was hit with a sense of panic. What if she couldn't give Allie what she needed, or worse still ended up hurting her. She'd had enough people hurt and abandon her in her life, and the last thing Bea wanted to do was be another name on that list. It was just a kiss, she told herself over and over again, but what a kiss. Bea had never felt so alive as she did when the blonde's lips were on hers, and she knew that she wanted Allie. But she was scared of getting hurt. Allie was nothing like Harry, and she knew that the blonde would never raise a hand to her like he had. But that didn't stop her screwed up brain from going there.
If they continued to explore this thing between them then eventually the blonde would want more than just a few kisses, and that was what scared her the most. It wasn't Allie, she was crazily attracted to her, it was more about the physical aspect of it. Sex had never been enjoyable for her, plus there was the matter of her never being with a woman before. She had no idea what to do, it wasn't like she ever touched herself like that.
On the one occasion she had tried it she'd been caught out. Harry was meant to be at work but had called back at the house to pick something up that he'd forgotten that morning. Bea was so lost in these new and strange, but not unpleasant feelings that she didn't hear the front door. So, when he walked into the bedroom and literally caught her with her hand down her pants he wasn't amused. He beat her pretty badly that day, although it made a change for it to be over something new rather than the usual excuses he gave. She had never tried it again after that, deciding that whatever momentary pleasure it may bring, it wasn't worth the pain.
That's all sex had been to Bea, pain. So she avoided it wherever possible and now she was twenty-nine years old and didn't have a clue. As soon as Allie found out how pathetic she was she'd be running for the hills, leaving Bea even more broken than she already was. Once that thought had wormed its way into her head there was no getting rid of it, which is why she found herself pacing the kitchen at nearly two in the morning.
Allie couldn't stop smiling. She was laid in bed in Bea's house looking like she had a clothes hanger stuck in her mouth, all because of a kiss, or five kisses to be exact. And while the redhead's confidence had grown a little with each one their first kiss was the most memorable. The way the older woman pushed back when Allie deepened the kiss sent shockwaves through her body. She'd never felt anything like this before, and knew that it was as much to do with the person she was kissing as the actual kiss itself. Turning onto her side she grabbed a handful of the shirt Bea had given her to sleep in and inhaled. It smelt like the redhead, and that alone was enough to make her feel safer than she ever had done before.
She had fallen asleep easily, thoughts of red curls, brown eyes and the most kissable lips in the world filling her dreams. A noise from downstairs woke her just before two, and after lying there listening to someone move around in the room below for a few minutes she decided to go and investigate. There had been a string of burglaries in the area recently, and while it was probably nothing Allie didn't want to ignore it, or worse still Bea or Debbie go down and get hurt in any way. Opening the door as quietly as possible she made her way downstairs, trying not to make a sound. She had almost made it to the bottom of the stairs when movement to her right startled her, causing her to slip and take the remaining couple of steps on her backside.
Bea was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't realised Allie was awake let alone on her way downstairs, at least not until she heard a bang, followed by a quiet curse. Turning around she ran across the room, coming to a stop in front of the blonde who was now sprawled out on the floor. Bending down she picked the younger woman up, helping her over to the sofa before sitting down beside her. "Are you ok, does it hurt anywhere?"
Bea was wearing a pair of snug fitting boy shorts and a vest top, and the amount of skin on show was doing nothing to calm Allie's already elevated heartrate. She didn't even realise she had been staring until her gaze shifted to the older woman's face, the pink tinge in her cheeks just about visible in the dim light giving away her embarrassment. "If I say yes will you kiss it better?" she replied, throwing the redhead a cheeky wink to let her know she was just playing around. Not that she would turn down the offer. "What are you doing up anyway, don't you have work in the morning?"
"I knew you'd be trouble Novak" Bea threw back, loving how easily they could fall into this playful banter. She knew the blonde was only teasing, but the thought of kissing Allie anywhere other than her mouth made the older woman's stomach flip. She'd never felt this kind of longing for another person before, but knew she wasn't ready for anything like that yet, if ever. Feeling the need to explain she tried to put her thoughts into some kind of logical order in the hope that Allie would understand.
"I couldn't sleep, I…Allie I…I like you, a lot. And last night, no one has ever kissed me like that before. But I'm out of my depth here, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do…and I'm scared that I'll end up hurting you"
Taking the redhead's hand in hers Allie allowed herself to get lost in her deep brown eyes for a few seconds. "I meant what I said last night, you're in charge, you set the pace. I would never pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for, you mean too much to me"
"But that's just it, what if I'm never ready? I don't want to make promises I don't know that I can keep, that wouldn't be fair on you. I have so much baggage, and then there's Debbie"
"Do you know what I think?" Allie asked, running her fingers through the older woman's wild curls. "I think you're getting way ahead of yourself here. For the record we've all got baggage, and as for Debbie, I adore her. She comes from you…how could I not. I don't expect anything from you Bea, and I never will. Being here with you is more than I could ever imagine, and I'm just grateful that you're willing to take a chance on someone like me"
"Someone like you?"
"Yeah, you know…a drug addicted prostitute. I'm not exactly the catch of the century am I"
"Oh Allie, I don't see you like that and I never did. You did what you had to do to survive, and I will never think any less of you because of that. And you're wrong you know…I think you're pretty incredible" the redhead replied, her heart aching at Allie's words.
She was so much more that she gave herself credit for, and Bea was determined to make her see that. Brushing her thumb over the younger woman's bottom lip, she felt a jolt of electricity rushing through her body at the gasp that fell from Allie's lips. She wanted to kiss her so badly, but was scared that the blonde wouldn't want her to. But when their eyes locked all that fear dispersed, and was replaced with a sense of longing she never knew she could feel. Deciding to be brave for once she closed the distance between them, and the second their lips touched Bea felt like she had come home.
Allie was pretty sure she had been smiling in her sleep, her dreams filled with the stunning redhead across the hallway that had well and truly captured her heart. Allowing herself a few minutes to replay the events of the past few hours she felt her heart rate increase as she thought about Bea's lips on hers. For someone with so little experience she was one hell of a kisser, making the blonde feel things she'd never felt before. While she wanted everything with Bea, she would never pressure her into anything. The most important thing to Allie was the redhead's happiness, she just hoped that she could contribute to that in some way.
She was glad they'd had the talk, even if it did mean she didn't get much sleep. The last thing she wanted was to freak Bea out or put pressure on her in any way, even unknowingly, and knew that if they did ever become more intimate that it would take time. And she was fine with that, rushing into things had never ended well for her in the past, not that she had ever felt anything like the way she did for Bea with anyone else. They both had a lot of demons in their past, and the only way this was going to work was if they took their time. As hard as it was going to be to not get carried away, she knew she had to try. For Bea's sake, if not her own.
Hearing voices downstairs she checked the clock, seeing that it was just after seven. Slipping out of bed Allie made her way to the bathroom to freshen up before heading downstairs. Making sure to walk down the stairs this time and not fall she made her way into the kitchen, her heart warming at the sight of the two Smith girls making breakfast together. Debbie was stood on a little step so she could reach the counter, and whatever they were making it smelt delicious. Leaning against the doorframe she watched them for a few minutes, although her eyes kept drifting to Bea's backside. She was dressed for work in her lifeguard shirt and a pair of shorts that hung on her hips, accentuating the most perfect arse Allie had ever seen. She was so busy staring that she didn't realise she'd been caught until she heard the redhead clear her throat. Snapping her gaze up she locked eyes with Bea, the older woman staring at her with one eyebrow raised. Way to go Novak. It hasn't even been a whole day and you've fucked it up already, she told herself, relief washing over her when the redhead shook her head then smiled.
Bea suddenly got the feeling she was being watched, and sure enough when she turned around she saw Allie standing in the doorway, and she was pretty sure the blonde had been staring at her arse. The guilty look in the younger woman's eye letting Bea know that she was correct in her assumptions. After her fears the previous night she was expecting to feel a bit freaked out by the younger woman's wandering eyes, so when she felt the same wave of arousal rushing through her body as she had when she woke up from her dream the previous week, she was more than a little shocked. Smiling shyly at Allie she turned to face her daughter, tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention. "Guess who's awake" she said, hear heart warming as she watched Debbie spin around, jump off her step and race across the room before launching herself at Allie. The laughter falling from the blonde's lips was the sweetest sound she had ever heard, and Bea wished there was a way to capture this moment and keep it forever.
Launching herself at Allie, Debbie wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her tight. She had been about to go into the spare room and get the stuffed dog that she won for the blonde, having forgotten to give it her the day before. She was spending the day with G'ma Liz while her mum was at work, and was hoping they could take the dog to Allie on their way home. So, when the redhead stopped her opening the door and told her that Allie was in there sleeping she was so excited. After having a wash, she went downstairs to make her friend some breakfast, with her mums help of course. She couldn't wait to see the blonde, and was going to go and wake her up once they had made the waffles, so when her mum told her Allie was awake she couldn't hold her excitement back any longer.
Allie had to grab onto the doorframe to steady herself. She hadn't expected the young girl to be quite so happy to see her, although deep down she was over the moon. She knew that if there was any chance of building anything with Bea, she would need to pass the Debbie test. And while they had gotten on well so far, she knew that could change in the blink of an eye. So, when the young girl pretty much launched herself at her Allie couldn't help but laugh, and when she looked up and saw the bright smile on Bea's face as she watched their interaction, the blonde wished that every morning could be like this.
The three of them ate breakfast together, Debbie insisting that the blonde sat next to her. Bea was sitting directly opposite and while she was trying her best to focus on what the young girl was telling her Allie couldn't help but sneak glances at her mum. Bea really was so incredibly beautiful, and she felt so lucky to be able to be here with her. Whatever happened between them relationship wise Allie knew that she wanted the redhead in her life, both her and little Debbie.
Once they had eaten Allie offered to wash up while the redhead got Debbie dressed, and she knew they were making progress as this time Bea only objected twice. After sending her daughter upstairs to pick out what she wanted to wear the older woman stayed behind, needing a minute or two alone with the blonde. Walking back over to where Allie was standing she slipped into her waiting arms, sighing in contentment when the younger woman held her tight. "Sorry, Deb can be a little full on in a morning, especially when you're not used to it. Oh, and good morning" she said tucking her head in the space between Allie's chest and jaw. She was a little bit taller than Bea, and they fit together perfectly, something that wasn't lost on either woman.
"Good morning beautiful" the blonde replied, pulling back slightly so she could gaze into the chocolate coloured eyes that she loved so much. "And don't worry about Debbie, she's adorable…just like her mum. I only wish I had that much energy first thing in a morning"
"Me too. Although right now I'm perfectly happy where I am" Bea said, running her fingers through the younger woman's tousled blonde locks. The bedhead look was hot on her, and the older woman had real trouble stopping her mind from going there. Knowing they didn't have long until Debbie came back down in search of them Bea leaned in, dropping a soft kiss on Allie's lips. What started as a quick peck soon turned into something more, the redhead surprising them both by being the one to take it further.
Kissing Allie was addictive, and if she wasn't due at work soon or they had the house to themselves she would happily spend the rest of the day doing just that. But that wasn't an option right now, and as much as she enjoyed being with the blonde like this she wasn't ready for her daughter to find out. Pulling back reluctantly, she gave Allie one more kiss before stepping away. "I'm sorry, I should go and help Deb before she comes back down and catches us. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything, I just…" Bea starts to ramble, unable to finish her sentence when the blonde's lips find hers again briefly.
"Babe, it's fine, honestly. I understand, we go at your pace remember. Although I could get used to these morning kisses" Allie replied, winking at Bea before kissing her on the cheek. "Go on, go and get ready while I wash up"
"You're the best, I hope you know that"
"I try, although I'll let you in on a little secret…there's this redhead that I really like and I'm trying to impress her"
"She's very impressed, trust me" the older woman replied, stealing one last kiss before going in search of her daughter. She knew that she needed to put some distance between her and Allie, otherwise she'd be later for work. Very late.
Bea's shift had been manic, but even with the numerous rescues, stolen bags and lost kids Allie was never far from her mind. She never thought she could ever feel this way about another person, although she very much doubted it would happen with anyone else. Allie was special, in every way, and the redhead knew she was falling hard for the younger woman. When she was with the blonde anything seemed possible, but now they were apart traces of doubt had started to creep in. It wasn't anything against Allie, she was perfect in the redhead's eyes, she just couldn't get past her own hang-ups. The younger woman was smart, witty, compassionate and stunningly beautiful, and Bea was flawed to put it mildly.
She wanted so much to be able to live in the moment, throw caution to the wind and follow her heart. But Bea wasn't naïve, and good things didn't happen to people like her. Plus, she had Debbie to think about. She had clearly grown quite attached to the blonde in the short time they had known each other, and the last thing the redhead wanted was for someone else her daughter cared about to disappear. When Harry was sent to prison she tried to explain to the young girl that he had been naughty, so had to go away for a while so he could learn how to be good. But she didn't really understand it, and while she knew that her daddy was a bad man, in her little girls eyes he had left because he didn't love her.
Seeing her daughter with Allie earlier that morning made her happier than she thought possible, and despite probably having no use for a giant stuffed dog the blonde seemed genuinely happy to receive the gift. They were just about to leave when Debbie dropped her bag on the floor and went racing up the stairs, coming back a few minutes later with the stuffed toy. It was as big as her, but the young girl was determined to carry it by herself. Coming to a stop in front of the blonde she held the dog out, a wide smile on her face as she spoke. "I got this for you when I went to the Luna Park last week. He's not a real, so you won't have to clean any poop"
The smile on Allie's face as she squats down, taking the stuffed toy in one arm and wrapping the other around Debbie, made Bea's heart flip flop in her chest. Allie had such a big heart, and the redhead couldn't understand why anyone would ever want to hurt her in any way. Bea knew that she came with a lot of baggage, but that hadn't phased the blonde one bit
Allie had no idea what she was going to do with a giant stuffed dog, but she didn't care. It was a gift from Debbie, so she would cherish it, always. The fact that the young girl not only took the time and effort to win it in the first place, but to think of her while she was doing so meant so much to the blonde. In such a short period of time both Bea and Debbie had treated her better than her own family ever had. She didn't want to cry through fear that the redhead wold think she was weak, but she couldn't stop the stray tear from escaping. She was just about to wipe it away when Bea reached out, brushing her thump over her cheek and removing all traces.
Smiling at the redhead she turned her attention to the young girl who was cuddled into her side. She was adorable, just like her mum, and she was already so important to Allie. "He's the best present anyone has ever given me, thank you Debbie. I promise I'll take really good care of him and you can come visit him whenever you want" the blonde said, kissing the curly haired brunette on the cheek. "What's his name?"
"He doesn't have one yet"
"Why don't you pick. Have a think and let me know, then I can get him a collar with it on" Allie replied, internally cringing at the conversation she would soon be having with her colleague who sourced the dog collars for the shelter. But if it made Debbie happy then bring on the embarrassment.
Debbie had been so excited, running through what felt like hundreds of different names for the dog on their drive over to Bondi. Allie had offered them a lift, but the redhead would need her car after her shift finished, so reluctantly had to decline. Allie looked so funny driving away with the giant dog buckled into the passenger seat of her car, and had even put a spare pair of sunglasses on it, much to Debbie's amusement. As she drove towards the beach all Bea wanted to do was turn around and head in the same direction the blonde had just gone. They had been apart less than five minutes and she was missing her already. It didn't help that she had to go without a goodbye kiss. It had been less that twenty-four hours and she was already addicted to Allie's lips.
Realising she had been staring at the same page for well over ten minutes Bea tried to push all thoughts of blonde and blue from her mind, although that lasted for all of thirty seconds. Her head was in a spin, and despite the rush of excitement whenever she thought of the blonde, she was scared too. Bea was worried that if whatever this thing between her and the blonde was, didn't work out, that her daughter would be the one to lose out again. And that was something she wouldn't allow to happen. But where did that leave things with Allie? Bea knew that she would be doing herself a massive injustice if she didn't explore her newfound feelings, but she had responsibilities, she wasn't a teenager with a crush, and if she had to miss out then so be it.
Just as the doubt was about to take over, erasing everything good that had happened over the past twenty-four-hours, Bea's phone vibrated on the desk signalling that she had a message. Picking it up she saw that it was from Allie, of course it was. It was as though she knew the redhead was struggling and wanted to reassure her that she was there, that she didn't have to be alone anymore. Opening the message Bea felt her heart beat a little bit faster at the blonde's words.
"I know that you're probably busy and won't have your phone with you, but I just wanted to say thank you. Being there with you and Debbie this morning meant so much to me, it showed me how a family should be, and I feel honoured that you were willing to share that with me. Sorry, that sounded way less cheesy in my head, although I mean every word! It's only been three hours and I miss you already, what are you doing to me Bea Smith…anyway, I'll leave you in peace, let you get back to saving lives. I hope you have a good day beautiful xx"
Smiling at the blonde's words she sent her a reply, letting her know she was doing more paperwork than saving lives, and that she missed her too. They exchanged a few more messages before the blonde asked what time her lunch break was, and thinking nothing of it Bea told her it wasn't for another couple of hours. She didn't hear from Allie for about an hour, and after finally making a start on the paperwork the redhead was able to make a bit of progress.
She would be looking after things in Will's absence, although after recent events he might not be going away after all. She had spoken to him earlier and he was still hopeful that he could patch things up with Kaz so hadn't cancelled his booking, although Bea wasn't so sure. She hoped they could, for Allie's sake as much as his, and while she didn't really like the older blonde she was important to her Alliecat. The fact that she referred to the younger blonde as hers wasn't lost on Bea, although she decided not to try and analyse it, at least for the time being. She was perfectly happy to remain in her little Novak bubble for the time being, real life could wait.
After leaving Bea's house on Sunday morning she had driven home, albeit reluctantly. The blonde had sent her sister a message the previous evening letting her know that she was staying over at Boomer's place for the night, then switched her phone off. She was worried Kaz would cause a scene if she told her where she really was, and she didn't want anything to ruin her time with Bea. As soon as she walked through the door the next morning her sister was on her back, quizzing her over what she got up to with Boomer the previous evening. Things had been frosty between them all week, so for the older woman to suddenly start taking an interest seemed a little strange. Not wanting to get into an argument with the older blonde she told her they had just watched a movie and had a few drinks, something that wasn't technically a lie. She hated keeping things from Kaz, but knew if she told her the truth about where she had actually been, and who with the tension between them would only get worse. Plus, things with Bea were so new, and as well as agreeing to take things slowly the redhead had also asked if they could keep it to themselves for now.
Unbeknown to Allie her friend had called around the previous evening to drop her old phone off. Boomer had dropped hers at the shelter the previous week and cracked the screen. She had to get it sent away to be repaired so the blonde had lent her an old one. Had Allie remembered to switch her phone back on she would have already known this as Boomer had sent her a message, something she picked up once she had put her foot in it with Kaz. Her sister called her on it straight away, demanding to know why she had lied, and seeing no other way out of it Allie eventually admitted who she'd really been with. As expected the older woman blew up, accusing her of deliberately going behind her back and taking Bea's side over hers.
But it wasn't about taking sides, for Allie it was about going after what she wanted for once in her life. And after spending the best part of twenty-four hours with the redhead there was no doubt in her mind that she wanted Bea, in every way possible. She knew going into this that her sister wouldn't be happy, but Bea was the first woman that had made her want a relationship in years, and the only one she wanted to do that with. She just hoped that in time her sister would come around to the idea, although if she didn't sort things out with Will soon then she feared she would be fighting a losing battle. While Allie loved living with the older blonde, if they couldn't get past this she would have no choice but to move out. Deciding to try and explain in a bid to get her sister to understand Allie made them both a coffee before sitting down opposite Kaz at the kitchen table. "I'm sorry I lied but I knew you'd have a go at me. I hate fighting with you, and all this tension between us. I just want things to go back to how they were"
"I hate it too Allie, and I don't want to fight with you either"
"What do you say, can we just draw a line under everything and put it behind us?" the younger woman said, reaching across the table and taking her sisters hand in hers. "I miss you"
"I miss you too kiddo" Kaz replied, squeezing the younger woman's hand. She hated fighting with Allie too, but didn't want her getting mixed up with someone like Smith. She was trouble, and her sister had been through enough crap in her life already. "So, what are you going to tell Smith?"
"What do you mean…tell Bea about what?"
"Why you can't see her anymore"
When Kaz gave her hand a squeeze she took it as to mean that she was willing to move on and forget everything that had happened over the past week. But that clearly hadn't been the case, and as much as she wanted the arguments to stop she wasn't prepared to walk away from Bea. She'd been happier in the past day than she ever had before, and was intending to hold onto that for as long as the redhead wanted her around. "I…I'm not going to stop seeing her Kaz"
"But I thought…you just said you didn't want to fight with me"
"I don't, but my friendship with Bea is important to me"
"Oh, and I'm not! Fuck Allie, after everything I've done for you. If it hadn't been for me you'd be lying in a gutter somewhere off your face on fuck knows what. And this is the thanks I get! You go behind my back, lie to me, and for what…some slut you've only known a week"
Something in Allie snapped, and while she would always be grateful for everything that Kaz had done for her, she wouldn't have her talking about Bea like that. What the older blonde said couldn't be further from the truth and she wasn't about to stand there and let her badmouth the woman who in such a short period of time had well and truly captured her heart. "Don't you ever call her that again, or anything else bad for that matter. You've got no idea who she is or what she's been through"
"You've got a thing for her haven't you…I knew it! I guess that explains everything"
"I…no Kaz it's not like that. I…"
Ever since she saw them together the previous week Kaz had her suspicions, but after Allie's little outburst it was clear she had a thing for the redhead. Ignoring her hatred for Bea Smith for a second, she was worried about her sister. Allie didn't exactly have the greatest track record when it came to relationships, and going after someone like her was a disaster waiting to happen. "Bullshit, I can see it in your eyes. You know she's going to break your heart right…and if she isn't already fucking Will, she will be soon"
Allie was pissed off, and what started out as a near perfect morning had taken a turn for the worse. Ninety percent of her sisters' problems were self-made, and while she felt for the older blonde she could understand why Will was avoiding her. She didn't want to get int another full-blown argument, but before she could stop them the words came tumbling from her mouth. "For the record Bea would never hurt me, ever. And you need to take your head out of your fucking arse and wake up. She's not interested in Will, they're friend, nothing more. The only person wrecking your relationship is you, and if you don't get your shit together soon you'll lose him for good"
The older woman was a little shocked by Allie's outburst, her sister usually being the one to remain calm whenever they had a disagreement about something. But there was a harshness in her voice that she hadn't heard before, which also made her think there was something more than just a friendship at stake here. "This isn't about Will, it's about you and that slut. She's using you Allie, and you're too lovestruck to see it"
"Don't call her that, I swear to god Kaz…" Allie yelled as she started to pace the room. She'd never felt so much anger towards her sister before. Bea had been through enough at the hands of her ex-husband, the near constant name calling and bullying, and she wasn't just going to sit back and let Kaz do the same. "She's not using me, and she never will. I'll always be grateful for everything you've done for me and I wouldn't be the person I am now if it wasn't for you. But Bea saved me too, she…"
"She saved you…fucking hell Allie, it's been a week. I've had stuff in the fridge longer than that"
"That day on the rocks, when I was going to jump and someone stopped me, it was her…it was Bea. Without her I wouldn't have been able to step out in front of your car, we wouldn't have found each other again, and I wouldn't be here now. Whatever issue you have with her, it's all in your head. You can think what you like, I honestly couldn't give a shit, but don't ever say anything like that about her ever again" the younger woman yelled, getting up in her sister's face so she knew she wasn't playing games. Turning on her heels she picked her car keys up from the table she'd dropped them on before walking out. What had started off as the perfect morning had turned to shit in a matter of minutes, and right now Kaz was the last person she wanted to be around.
Allie had been driving around for a while now, no particular destination in mind. Her argument with Kaz was playing on a loop in her head and she couldn't believe that she had said such awful things about Bea. Her sisters house was the only place that had ever felt like home to her, the only place she'd felt truly safe, but right now it was the last place she wanted to be. If things continued in the way they were the younger woman knew she would need to find somewhere else to live, and while starting over again filled her with dread, she couldn't stay there and listen to Kaz badmouth Bea like that. As well as being untrue, her words hurt, Allie already feeling protective over the redhead. She wasn't planning on living with her sister forever and up until recently had been expecting the older blonde to move in with Will at some point. But she always thought that it would be something they would sit down and discuss together, a mutual agreement. But if things continued as they were then she would be left with little choice but to move out
Allie knew that she could lie, tell the older blonde that she wouldn't see Bea again, but that didn't feel right. Denying the redhead in any way would feel like a betrayal to her, and that wasn't something she was willing to do. Bea meant too much to her, even though they hadn't known one another long. The blonde hoped her sister would calm down and see their friendship for what it was, although after recent developments maybe friendship wasn't the right terminology to be using. Deciding that it wouldn't hurt to look into what accommodation as available she pulled into the nearest car park and cut the engine. It wasn't until she had stopped that Allie realised where she was, and although she knew the reason why, it still surprised her that she had come to Bondi beach.
Getting out of the car she bought herself a coffee from the nearby deli before making her way down to the promenade and finding an empty bench to sit on. It was busy on the sand, and she had no idea how the lifeguards managed to keep a watch over everyone, especially when the conditions in the water were bad. Luckily the ocean looked calm today, not that Allie would be getting any closer to it. Knowing that Bea was out there somewhere offered her some comfort, but it also worried her. It was a dangerous job and from hearing some of the stories Will had told her she knew the risks involved for the lifeguards every time they went out into the water.
Allowing herself a few minutes to replay the start of her day she found herself smiling. Being at Bea's house with her and Debbie had mean so much to her. It also made her think about her life. She'd never really thought of herself as the maternal type and having kids wasn't something that she saw in her future. But she loved spending time with Debbie, and knew that if she wanted a relationship with Bea then they came as a pair. It was early days, and she was probably getting way ahead of herself here, but she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have breakfast with them every morning.
There had been something special about the redhead right from the start, even if Allie wasn't in the best frame of mind the first time they met. And despite not even knowing the other woman's name she had helped her through so much over the past four years, even without realising it. The blonde wasn't sure if she believed in soulmates, but if they did exist she was certain she had found hers in Bea. It had only been just over three hours since they parted but she was missing her like crazy. Knowing she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything other than red hair and brown eyes she decided to send Bea a message letting her know how much she enjoyed spending time with both her and Debbie.
Bea didn't even realise she was smiling at her phone until she heard Will laugh from across the room. She had been so lost in all things Allie that she didn't hear him walk into the office. Her phone had been quiet for about an hour before the messages started coming in again, the blonde making her laugh by apologising for distracting her, and then continuing to chat. She would choose Allie over paperwork any day, although truth be told she would chose her over most things. It scared her a little, how quickly the blonde was taking over her every thought, although maybe it was normal to feel this way. She just wished she had some experience in this department to compare it to. But Harry had made sure that wasn't the case.
Even when they first met she didn't feel the all consuming need to be in his company, and kissing him was something she did out of necessity. But with Allie, she never wanted to stop. Bea never knew it was possible to feel so much just from kissing someone, but the second she felt the blonde's plump lips on hers it as was though the fog had cleared and she could see for the first time. She had been quite happy on her own, telling herself that as long as she had Debbie and her friends then she didn't need anything else. But then Allie Novak happened, and suddenly she wanted more, she wanted Allie.
Realising she had drifted off again she lifted her gaze, blushing when she saw the look Will was giving her. Putting her phone back on the desk she looked down again, already knowing her cheeks would match her hair any second. It was stupid, and it wasn't like he knew who the message was from, but she couldn't help but feel that he was reading her mind. The redhead knew she was being irrational, and that she didn't have "I kissed Allie Novak" tattooed on her forehead. But in that moment, it felt like she did.
There was something different about the redhead, and Will had picked up on it as soon as she walked through the door of the lifeguard tower earlier that morning. Bea was always more relaxed following a trip back home, but it was more than that this time. There was a lightness about her he'd never seen before, and she seemed so much happier. Not to mention the grin she'd been wearing all morning. He recognised that smile, it was the same one he wore when he first got together with Kaz, he just never expected to see it on his colleague's face.
While he didn't know the full details of what happened with her ex-husband, Will knew he had hurt her, badly. Whatever horrors she had been subjected to at the hands of that bastard seemed to have put her off relationships for good, and he couldn't honestly say that he could blame her. Bea was an attractive woman, stunning even, and when she first joined the team her had been quite taken with her. After her divorce went through he had hoped they could become something more than friends, but it quickly became clear that she wasn't interested in him in that way. She wasn't interested in anyone in that way. Until now that was, whoever was on the end of that phone had clearly caught her attention. Curiosity getting the better of him, he had to ask her about it. "What's his name?"
Bea was surprised by the question, and it wasn't until her friend and colleague glanced at her phone on the desk that she realised what he was talking about. "What…who…I, who's name?"
"The guy that's got you smiling so much" Will said, smiling to himself as her cheeks turned the colour of her hair.
"There's no guy, it was a message from a friend" the redhead replied, glad that she didn't have to lie. Allie had just sent her a picture of herself holding a bag of food from the deli up the road, asking her what time her lunch break was. Not wanting to stay here and be grilled by Will or keep the blonde waiting, she stood up, pocketing her phone before walking towards the door. "I'm going to grab some lunch then I'll head back over to the tower to and take over from one of the guys"
Nodding at the redhead Will watched through the window, surprised when he saw her walk over to Kaz's sister. He didn't even realise they knew each other, but if the embrace they were currently sharing was anything to go by then he was clearly mistaken. He was just about to turn away when Allie pulled back slightly before reaching out and running her fingers through the redhead's curls. Will couldn't see Bea's face from where he was standing but he didn't miss the way she leaned into the touch. He'd never seen Allie look at anyone the way she was doing Bea right now, and everything started to fall into place. Technically his friend hadn't lied when she said there was no guy, he was just a little surprised to see her like this with Allie of all people, especially given her sister's views on Bea Smith. Feeing like he was intruding on a private moment he moved away from the window before taking a seat behind his desk, making a mental note to speak to the redhead about this at a later date.
Despite it only being a few hours, it felt like a lifetime ago since Bea had looked into those baby blues that she adored. Conscious that they were standing near the office she tried to keep the physical contact to a minimum, but when she felt the blonde's fingers running through her hair she couldn't help but chase her touch. She had never craved anyone the way she did Allie, and despite all this being new to her, she really wanted to kiss her. But there were too many people around, and she just wasn't brave enough, at least not yet. Bea wanted to say something, let her know how much her stopping by meant to her, but her words got caught in her throat as the nerves started to build.
Seeing the look of confusion on the beautiful redhead's face Allie decided to step in and break the silence that had descended upon them. "I brought you some lunch, didn't want you going hungry" she said as she held out one of the bags containing the food. She had bought herself something as well, but didn't want the older woman to feel like she was crowding her.
Taking the bag from her, Bea thanked her before asking what was in the other one. She was surprised when the younger woman said she'd bought herself something to take home, assuming they would be eating together. "You're not staying?" Bea asked, trying unsuccessfully to keep the disappointment from her voice.
The disappointment in the redhead's voice gave Allie hope that she wasn't the only one feeling this way. She never wanted to leave Bea's side, and that scared her a little. But she knew that she needed to take things slow, tread carefully. "I don't want you to get sick of me" she replied, in explanation.
"Never" Bea said, hoping that didn't make her sound too needy. The last thing she wanted to do was scare the blonde off by being too full on, but she also needed her to know that she would always be welcome. "Stay with me…please"
Allie knew in that moment that she could never deny the redhead anything. "Always" she replied, her heart soaring when she felt the older woman's hand slip into hers. It was unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome, and showed her that this wasn't just some experiment to Bea. Unable to stop the smile from spreading across her face she gave the redhead's hand a reassuring squeeze and allowed Bea to lead her over to a patch of grass behind the pavilion where they would have a little bit of privacy from the crowds.
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A/N: Thank you for the continued support for both this story and FMG. I'm still finding it hard to see Allie as anything but the shadow of her former self we are being given right now, but I'm trying to push past it, for the sake of the Ballie bubble if nothing else.