They took a table in the back of the bar and Spencer made the proper introductions they hadn't been able make the week prior. As they settled in to wait for someone to take their drink orders, JJ asked, "Where did Gideon and Alex disappear to?"
"Jason thanked me for the show, mentioned it was getting late for him and offered Alex a ride home since she isn't old enough to be hanging around in bars, anyway," Christine replied. "So… I can tell by the looks on y'all's faces that you're just dying to ask me something so...have at it."
"Alright," Morgan began, "how did you two really meet?"
"I've already told you that!" Spencer said.
"Leave the story-telling to the professional here, dear." Spencer rolled his eyes at Christine as she continued, "Spencer was a 16 year old lost little puppy my brother Joe adopted in the MIT cafeteria one day while I was taking a few weeks off. When I got back, he introduced us and…" her voice faltered for a moment as she stopped and looked at Spencer. Taking his hand and squeezing it she continued, "…see, at that time, I was really struggling. It was probably the darkest, most terrifying time in my life. And he was the only person I found whom I could trust to do the one thing for me that no one else could, not even Joe." She blinked back a few tears, cleared her throat and said, "I don't know if I've ever really thanked you for that. I wondered for years if you'd ever truly know how much that meant to me…"
He squeezed her hand back and said softly, "Not a day went by that I didn't think of you and hope you were doing well, wherever you were."
"What happened?" Garcia asked over-eagerly, eliciting a little under-the-table kick from JJ.
"Sister, I've got a rule," Christine said with a smile, "if I haven't worked up the nerve to say something on stage, it's because it's still too hard to talk about. That was nearly eight years ago already, but it is still to soon for me to pick the scab off of that wound. I will tell you this- I fell hard for that 1,000 watt smile the first time I saw it!"
"You've never told me that," Spencer said.
She rolled her eyes at him, "Sometimes you are just brilliantly dense, aren't you? I was all kinds of crazy-stupid for you right from the start."
"Well, if I had known you were interested in me, I might have asked you out."
"Really, sweetheart? Would you have?" she asked with one eyebrow raised.
"Actually…probably not. I thought about it, though…"
"So what stopped you?" Garcia asked, getting excited again.
"She was always with her brother, who is not only very protective of her, but I'm fairly certain he could take me in a fist fight."
Christine laughed. "Sweetheart, I could take you in a fist fight!"
Garcia pressed, "But Chris, you know he's shy! Why didn't you ask him out?"
"That's simple- he was jail bait." She paused for a moment, and added, "And maybe I was really shy, too."
"Oh, you two are so…so…frustrating! So what then? You just walked out of one another's lives?!"
"Yeah, pretty much," Christine said.
"But how could you do that?" Garcia continued, working herself up. "You almost missed your chance at true happiness! There would have been no romance, no love story, no genius babies, no-"
"Whoa! Holy shit, are you getting ahead of yourself! Damn. I think I need a drink. Anyone else need a drink? Where's our waitress, anyway?" Christine said, looking around to avoid the uncomfortable turn in the conversation.
After camel-kicking Garcia again, JJ rescued her by saying, "You got a point- is anyone ever going come and take our order? Hey, why don't you boys just go get them from the bar, okay?"
After dispatching Spencer and Morgan, the women all looked at one another and leaned in. "Okay, so tell us," Garcia said, "what's it really like dating Boy Wonder over there?"
Christine, relieved at having successfully escaped the baby-talk, grinned and replied, "Now, it kinda sounds like you're wondering how he behaves when we're out- if he takes me nice places and opens doors for me and the like. But what is suspect you really wanna know is if he's any good in the sack. Or am I reading you ladies wrong?" She glanced around at each of them, chuckled and said, "Well, I'll tell you this- Spencer is a young man, in perfect health, who has boundless energy, a tireless work ethic and always strives for perfection in every task he undertakes. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of the human anatomy and is the consummate overachiever. So, lemme ask you- what do you think a man like that is like in bed?"
Garcia let slip, "Oh, wow…" before she'd even realized she said it.
"Yep. That's pretty much what I find myself saying when I'm in bed with him. Except I usually end up screaming it."
When Spencer returned with Morgan to bring them their drinks he said, "Oh, no. You're all laughing. Am I to assume I've been made the butt of one of her jokes again?"
"Absolutely not, my darling! I've only had the most laudatory of things to say about you," Christine replied, planting a kiss on his cheek.
Later at home, Spencer came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth to find Christine sitting in bed, flipping through a copy of National Geographic. "What on earth is that animal doing there?" he asked.
"That is a marine crocodile," she replied, referring to the cover of the magazine. "Did you know these mofos are so badass, they'll swim for miles out in the open ocean to hunt sharks? Sharks! They hunt apex predators! I think I fuckin' love these things- they're amazing!"
"No, not the crocodile. I mean…that," he said, pointing to cat on the bed beside her. "Am I to presume that's Spud?"
She put down her magazine. "Who him? Yeah…"
"Isn't he supposedly Alex's animal?"
"In theory, yes. But the second day we had him, I came up here for a nap and he snuck in and curled up beside me and has laid claim to your side of the bed ever since."
"Well…get rid of him, then!"
"That may be easier said than done. Why don't you give it a go, sweetheart?" she suggested, grinning.
"Go on now, puss-puss. Go on- shoo!" Spencer said, waving at the orange and white cat who simply stared at him with an air of contempt. "Shoo!"
"You know, I'm not certain if that cat can comprehend English, but I am pretty sure he doesn't give a damn about your gentle suggestions."
"How am I supposed to move him, then?"
"Oh, for pity's sake. He only weighs about three pounds. Pick him up and move him!"
"How does one pick up a cat?" he asked, regarding the animal skeptically.
"Try using your hands, darling."
"You're not helping."
"I'm not trying to help. Frankly, I think this is hilarious!"
"Should I…I don't know…pick him up by his neck like a mother cat would?"
"There's a good place to start. Try that."
Spencer hesitantly reached out with one hand to grasp the cat's scruff and jumped back again when Spud hissed at him. "He almost bit me!"
"Oh, he did not!"
Spencer went to the bedroom door, opened it and called for Alex to come get her cat. When she appeared in the doorway, Christine held up her hand, saying, "No. Don't help him. Just watch. This is awesome."
"You're both being mean," he declared, sullenly. He tried tugging on the bed covers to dislodge Spud, causing him to do nothing more than yawn, lay down and close his eyes. Next he clapped and called the animal's name, but this, too, elicited no reaction other than causing the cat's ears to turn in the direction of the sound.
"Wow, Spencer. He really has no respect for you, does he?" Alex observed.
"Ooh, yes! Get the cat's respect! Show him your FBI credentials, baby! See if that'll work!"
"Must you two enjoy this so much? Come on, what do I do?"
"Just pick him up like a baby and hand him to me," Alex said.
Inching closer, he slowly placed his hands around Spud's belly, lifted him up and held him away from his body towards Alex, who gathered him in her arms. "And that's what you consider to be the proper way to hold a baby? Oh yeah, you're ready for fatherhood…" Christine said with a laugh.
"Fatherhood?!" Alex exclaimed, looking at each of them. "Boss, are you on the nest?"
"Oh dear God, no!" Christine replied, horrified.
"Are you two at least trying?" she pressed, hopefully.
"No! Never! Good lord, girl! Take your beast and leave us!"
"Whatever. You'll never stop me from hoping!"
"OUT!" Christine hollered, and Alex left.
After climbing in bed, Spencer turned out the light on the nightstand and put his arms around Christine. "Did you hear that? She's on my side, you know."
Christine groaned. "Seriously, just…don't. My uterus is not open for business. Not now. Not ever." She giggled as he kissed her neck and started to tug at her panties. "I wouldn't mind if you showed me what you'd do if it was, though."
"With pleasure, my dear," he answered, pulling down his own pajama bottoms as she shimmied out of her nightie before wrapping her legs around his waist.
Afterwards, he laid back and stared up into the darkness, stroking her hair as she rested her head on his chest. "Chris?" he asked.
"Mmmhmm?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sounds like you already are…"
"Are you…satisfied with our sex life?"
"What- you couldn't tell from all the moaning and screaming and scratching at your back? I thought those were pretty clear signals that I am very satisfied- more than satisfied!"
He rolled over on his side to face her. "I don't mean that…I mean…" he sighed. "I mean, do you find it fulfilling?"
She propped herself on one arm and stared at him in the darkness. "Are you dissatisfied?"
"What? Me? No! I think it's great- it's incredible! If anything, I only wish there was more of it, but our jobs kind of make that impossible…"
"Then what do you mean, Spencer?"
He cleared his throat and answered, "Well, do you wish we were more…I mean, that we…you know…tried different things?"
"What, like if we were kinkier? If we used toys and costumes and Cirque du Solei type moves- stuff like that?"
"Well…maybe. I mean, some people do…"
"Do you want to do those things? Do you feel like you'll be happier with whips, chains and leather underwear?"
"No…no. I love what we do."
"But you think I can't be happy with just you, that I must need something else to enjoy sex, is that it?"
"No. I'm just asking if you'd like that stuff even more."
"Spencer, lemme explain something to you. The thing I love most about sex with you is that it's with you. When I'm around you, I just want to be as close to you as possible. And when we have sex, in those moments, it's as if I'm closer to you than I've ever been to anyone, both physically and emotionally. I mean, it's awesome that it's a helluva lot of fun. Three cheers for orgasms, you know? And if you want to experiment with whatever, well, I'm game. But I don't feel anything is lacking. Do you?"
"No…it's just…when you told those stories tonight, you kind of made me feel like a goof."
She sighed. "I knew that's what this was about. But you listened to that as my boyfriend, as the involved party. But I know you remember every word I said. So go back through it all. Do you remember what I listed as your so-called faults? I said you were too tall, slim, sexy and smart. Think about it. Those are not faults. Those are all attributes most women only hope to find in men. You know what kind of woman would see those as faults? A crazy one, that's who. People weren't laughing at you- they were laughing at me and my ridiculous insecurities. I guarantee that there wasn't a woman there tonight who didn't want what I have by the time I was through with that story. So what if you play with dolls? Women don't care about that if her man is also willing to have sloppy, nasty bathtub sex with her, too."
He chuckled in the darkness. "We really did make a terrible mess that night."
"I know. But it was totally worth it."
When he walked into the BAU Monday morning, Morgan greeted Spencer with, "Yeaaah, there's the man! I'm surprised to see you so awake this early after spending a whole weekend with Big Red!" Spencer instinctively raised his arm to block Morgan's hand as he reached out to mess with his hair.
"For your information, she prefers the nickname Gingerpotamus," he said, blushing.
"Seriously? That has got to be the least sexy name I've ever heard any man give his girlfriend," Elle said.
"I don't call her that. But a few weeks ago she got her hands on my phone and changed her name to that in my contacts list. She's forbidden me to change it back."
Spencer turned at the sound of high heels hurrying toward him just in time to have Garcia throw her arms around him. "Oh my god! You're the subject of my newest, favoritest love story! She's got brains, beauty and a sense of humor- I love her! When can we hang out with her again?"
"Well, now that you mention it, I could use some help moving in a few weeks…"
"Are you two moving in together? Yes! Yes! Done. I'll be there. I can't wait to see her place. I'm not going to lie. After I met her, I had to go home and do my thing, you know? I couldn't let our very own boy genius date just anyone without doing a proper background check..."
"Garcia!" JJ scolded. "Haven't you ever heard of boundaries?"
"I had to know!" she protested.
"No, what you had to do was be nosey," JJ pointed out.
"Okay, maybe that, too. But you know she lives in a mansion, right? And honest to goodness mansion like something right out of Gone With the Wind! The Google Earth view of it wasn't very good because there's so many trees, though. And how did she get it so cheap? My guess is it needed a lot of work because of the building permits she had to get."
"You looked into my girlfriend's real estate records?" Spencer asked incredulously.
"Maybe… that's not the point. The point is, I think I'm in love with your girlfriend because she seems amazing and I want to see her house. And if I have to get a little sweat on my beautiful brow to do so, I will."
Spencer smiled and shook his head. "You're unbelievable. And I feel strangely violated. But I plan to move the last weekend of the month, and if you're willing, I wouldn't mind some help packing. There's not much, since I'm putting my furniture into storage until I can figure out what to do with it. So it's mostly books."
"And your dolls, right?" said Morgan with a smirk.
Spencer sighed. "Yes, those too. Why, were you hoping to play with them?"
"No. And you'll have to pack all your own damned pretty, colorful panties. That is where I draw the line!" he shot back.
A week after Spencer moved in, Christine was already preparing to leave on a Spring tour. They made plans to at least meet the weekend after Valentine's Day to celebrate. Even if he was required to work other weekends, he was determined to see her then. He'd never had someone to call his Valentine. She told him she thought he was being ridiculously sentimental when he spoke of this, but he insisted they celebrate. He ordered flowers to be delivered to her hotel on the 14th- red roses this time instead of white tulips. She chided him over the phone for the extravagance, but he didn't care. He enjoyed playing the romantic and treating her like a lady, and he told her she'd just have to humor him on this occasion, especially since it was also near her birthday and the anniversary of their very first meeting. When he arrived in San Francisco a few days later to see her, the weather was miserably cold and wet. Neither of them particularly minded- it gave them all the more reason to spend the long President's Day weekend indoors. Before he left, she told him she'd be home the first week of April to enjoy Spring Break. He had plans to travel to Los Angeles with Gideon to conduct a seminar for the LAPD the week prior, but was certain he'd be back in time to enjoy having her home for a little while.
A/N added 4/29/2016
In the US, President's Day falls on the third Monday in February, between the 15th and the 21st. This date was chosen in honor of President George Washington, who was born February 22, 1731, and President Abraham Lincoln, who was born on February 12, 1809. It is a federal holiday, and as a federal employee, Reid would have had this day off.