I Don't Recognize This Place

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU'RE JOKING RIGHT? THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS!"

"DO YOU HEAR ME LAUGHING? I'M SORRY… DID I STUTTER?"

Sam started to put the two bags that he was carrying down in the hallway, but was immediately stopped by Bobby. As he balanced the bag that he was carrying on his hip, the older hunter gently pulled Sam's arm towards the front door.

"Just let them be son. I have an ice chest out in the back yard that we can put the meat into so that it won't spoil."

Sam hesitantly followed Bobby's lead but he couldn't resist one more worried glance in the direction of the kitchen as he protested saying, "But Bobby… Addy being that upset… It… It can't be good for the baby."

"You're probably right, but us interfering ain't gonna help either," Bobby commented sternly.

As he loaded a variety of cuts of poultry into an ancient looking cooler, Bobby added, "Why do you think I asked you to come with me to the store?"

Sam sat down and popped the top off the beer he had retrieved from the cooler asking, "So you know what that's all about?" He motioned back towards the house with his bottle at the end of his question.

Bobby took a long drink of his beer, nodded then sat down with Sam to fill the younger hunter in on the situation that was unfolding inside.

"DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF? OR IS YOUR HEAD TO FAR UP YOUR ASS FOR YOUR WORDS TO HIT YOUR EARS?" I shouted throwing my hands up with exasperation.

"MY HEAD'S UP MY ASS? WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Dean yelled back, slamming his beer bottle onto the counter. He completely ignored the white foam that bubbled out of the opening and down the neck of the bottle and onto his hand. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO RUN AWAY AGAIN!"

"AGAIN? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?"

"JUST LIKE IT SOUNDS PRINCESS! THINGS GET ROUGH, SO YOU RUN! OHHH YOU PROFESS THAT YOU LOVE ME, THAT YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME, BUT WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO? YOU TAKE OFF! THAT'S WHAT!"

"TAKE OFF? TAKE OFF? OTHER THAN ME GOING TO THE CONVENT WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH TOBY… WHEN YOU WEREN'T EVEN FUCKING AROUND MIND YOU! NAME ONE TIME! JUST ONE TIME HOT SHOT!"

"HMM LET ME THINK," he replied as he stood with an exaggerated look of someone trying to evoke a memory. "OH WELL YOU BAILED OUT WITH DEATH… UMM WHEN WE WE'RE GOING AFTER LUCIFER YOU RAN HOME AND… OH RECENTLY YOU SOLD YOUR FUCKING SOUL AND WENT TO HELL! HOW IS THAT FOR AN EXAMPLE?" He hollered at the top of his lungs finally drying the spilt beer off his hand.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" I repeated a few times with my hands on my head as I sat down at the table. "ARE YOU SERIOUS? FIRST I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO ENTERTAIN THAT DIG ABOUT DEATH! AND SECOND I HAD TO GO HOME AND HELP BILL BECAUSE MO WAS DYING! DYING DEAN! FUCK! ARE YOU REALLY THAT SELFISH? AND! AND! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING POINT ANY FINGERS ABOUT SELLING A SOUL! JUST LIKE YOU, I DID WHAT I THOUGHT I HAD TO DO FOR MY FAMILY! YOU KNOW, OUR SON? REMEMBER HIM?"

"WHICH MEANT YOU LEAVING ME BEHIND! AND TOBY TOO! HOW WAS THAT FUCKING HELPFUL?" He screamed as he paced in front of the refrigerator.

"YOU WEREN'T EVEN AROUND!" I shot back with a bitter bite before he could continue any further. "YOU HAD ALREADY LEFT HOME! REMEMBER? SAM CAME CALLING, SO YOU WENT RUNNING AND LEFT ME A NOTE! A FUCKING NOTE! AT LEAST I HAVE THE FUCKING BALLS TO TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE! AND I'M TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT ALL TO YOU!"

"HEY! YOU TOLD ME TO GO! YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO HUNT! SO SORRY PRINCESS BUT THAT'S WAY DIFFERENT THAN YOU WANTING TO TAKE OFF WHENEVER IT PLEASES YOU!"

"PLEASES ME?" I had started to hyperventilate, but Dean didn't make any moves to comfort me, not that I would have accepted it if he had. "YOU THINK THIS IS EASY FOR ME? THAT I WANT TO BE AWAY FROM YOU? FROM TOBY? YOU THINK THAT I LIKE HAVING TO MAKE THIS CHOICE?"

"If the shoe fits," he retorted just loud enough that he was assured that I would hear it.

"SERIOUSLY? YOU THINK THAT THIS MAKES ME HAPPY? YEAH I'M DOING BACKFLIPS OF EXCITEMENT HERE!" By this time I was on my feet gripping my belly tightly. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK THAT ABOUT ME? YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL IF YOU THINK THAT THAT'S EVEN REMOTELY TRUE!" I took the ring he had given me off and threw it at him with violent force. "SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR FUCKING RING BACK! BECAUSE YOU CAN'T LOVE ME IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME!"

I was already out the door and missed seeing the metal band bounce off his neck as he tried to duck my throw. I struggled slightly to make it down the back stairs without stumbling down them. I was however able to continue past Sam and Bobby with ease as tears of frustration started to stream down my cheeks.

Bobby quickly jumped to his feet and blocked Sam's path so that he couldn't follow me saying, "We better get these groceries put away." Sam scowled and huffed but before he could object, Bobby softly said, "We should give her some time to cool off Sam, she probably more than needs it… Plus, do you really want to be on the receiving end of a pissed off and pregnant Addy?"

Sam shook his head, chuckled and took the bag that Bobby was handing him without saying another word. When they got into the kitchen, they found Dean on his hands and knees reaching under the stove to retrieve something.

"Lose something?" Bobby asked as Sam passed him the food that needed to be refrigerated.

Dean stood, brushed his knees off and slipped the ring into his pocket mumbling, "No… Found it, but thanks."

After closing the fridge door and handing Sam a fresh beer, Bobby pointed to the left side of his neck solemnly stating, "You're… Umm… You've got some blood on your neck there."

Dean's hand shot up to wipe away the blood and the small nick from the impact of the ring on his flesh was revealed. Sam silently passed Dean a Kleenex then the three hunters went back to drinking their beers as an awkward silence filled the room. When his bottle was on the table top, Sam avoided making eye contact with his brother by picking at the label on his bottle. Bobby looked between the two of them, waiting for one of them to break the silence. Dean was at the sink washing the blood off his hands, seemingly ignoring the other two completely.

"So you guys heard us, huh?" Dean asked with a soft shameful tone before turning around.

Sam finally looked up and felt his heart sink when he saw that Dean was cleaning off Addy's wedding band with a damp cloth. He wanted to shout at Dean for his apparent insensitivity, but he also knew that Bobby was right: This wasn't his or Bobby's battle to fight. This was a very personal issue that Dean and Addy had to figure out. IF either of them reached out, that's when Bobby and Sam should step in but not a minute sooner.

"Dean, I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but she does have a point," Bobby calmly replied.

Dean sat down at the kitchen table with the other two men, rubbing his temples vigorously. Before he responded to Bobby's statement he started playing with Addy's ring, twirling it on the table top.

"I know… I know… But just because I understand that doesn't mean I like it."

**************
CHANGE OF POV
**************

I weaved my way through the maze of rusted and neglected cars as I tried to calm myself down so that I could collect my thoughts. Anytime I stopped to lean against a car and catch my breath, the movement of our child was nearly unbearable. It seemed that walking helped to ease the pain, so I just tried to keep moving as much as possible.

After a while, I started to make my way back to the house, but once it came into view, I could feel the baby kicking with a renewed vigor. Then I felt my heart starting to race and I realized I hadn't fully gotten over my feelings of rage.

"Shh… Shh… I know, it's too soon, I know," I said soothingly as I veered down another car-lined aisle. When I got to the table covered in carburetors and car parts under an aluminum shelter that acted as Bobby's makeshift garage whenever he or Dean were working on a car, I finally sat down to rest.

After I was seated, I picked up a bottle cap and started spinning it across the table top. As I watched it my thoughts finally focused on the most important issue: Fixing this fucked up situation with Dean. I need to find a way to get Dean to understand that this decision was about everyone's future, not our own… Not just my own. The fight we just had was going to be a strain on our relationship, but it shouldn't be the one event that defined it. The longer that I sat there, the worse I started to feel because I still wasn't able to find the words to get him to understand.

When I looked down at my left hand, I stroked my naked finger forlornly and I was almost overpowered by the urge to vomit. I folded my arms over the table to pillow my head because I felt like I was going to burst into tears again. I nuzzled my face into my elbow but the tears didn't make an appearance for some reason.

The next thing I knew, I felt a tentative hand touching my upper back, tenderly shaking me awake. I sat up and shifted my shoulder blades stiffly until they each popped. The hand gently grabbed my left shoulder and was quickly joined by a second hand on my right. I continued to try to get my back to crack while they massaged some of the knots that had formed in my back.

"Not the best position to sleep in, huh?"

I gripped the back of my neck and my hand was immediately replaced by one of his as he took over the task of massaging those tired, achy muscles.

"Nope," I finally replied feeling very annoyed with myself. "But then again, when you're this huge not many positions are."

He placed his hands on my lower back to graciously help me to sit up straight. Every part of my body throbbed slightly, but I tried my best to hide the fact that I was wincing whenever I moved. When I opened my eyes, my companion had produced a granola bar along with a bottle of water and placed them in front of me on the table.

"Bobby said that he would make dinner once the air was cleared about… You know… But I figured you'd be hungry."

I downed half of the bottle of water in a couple of gulps, but left the wrapped bar unopened on the table. "Thanks Sam, but I can't really handle solid foods right now… Is he… Umm… Did he…?"

"He's still at the house and he's calmed down too. I think he might be ready to talk."

Sam helped me to my feet and walked closely beside me as we made our way back to the house. Bobby was waiting for us at the bottom of the front stairs, so Sam leaned down and hugged me whispering, "Good luck Addy. I'll kick his ass for you if he gets out of line again."

I kissed his cheek then replied, "Thanks. I might just have to call on that favor in the not so distant future."

He then gently nudged me towards the house where Bobby briefly stopped me as well. He put both hands on each side of my belly then held my face in his right hand saying, "Sam and I are heading into town to follow up on some leads and to give you two some privacy… So take your time but no shouting. If he don't see the light this time 'round then Sam and I will make him understand, even if we have to beat it into him, alright?"

I pressed him hand against my cheek as I softly answered, "Yes sir, I'll try to behave myself this time. I know I have to get him to understand, I just have to… I can't do this unless I'm able to get him to understand why this is the best way."

Bobby gave me an anguished look then held my face in both of his hands. I knew that our situation had truly troubled him because Bobby didn't have any other supportive words to offer. When he was feeling like this any words that he could muster always got caught in his throat and went unstated. In light of that, he just kissed my forehead and wished me luck before hurrying to the driver's seat and leaving with Sam en route to town.

I struggled slightly up the stairs then waved at the moving car until they turned the corner and disappeared from view. While I had a moment alone, I rested my elbows on the wood railing of the porch and took in a few deep breaths with my eyes closed. The scent of the rain from the night before still lingered in the air, giving the impression that renewed growth was imminent… And with new growth came the promise of a fresh start… Or so I hoped.

"How did your discussion with Dean conclude Addy?"

I let out a sorrow filled, quiet laugh while still facing Bobby's front yard as I reflected on how to answer that question. Then I straightened up and turned to face the angel with my lower back resting against the bannister.

"Not as well as you thought it would," I responded apologetically. "I still haven't mastered the whole 'slow to anger' trait yet."

I shrunk back against the railing with my arms crossed tightly over my chest continuing, "I wish I could just blame it on the hormones, but it's me… He didn't want to listen, I got frustrated and then we started fighting and then everything just fell apart from there…"

Castiel looked down at my left hand and furrowed his brows as he took it into his hand. "Your words were said with passion… Although I'm not certain the root sentiment was the one that you had meant to convey to him."

I slowly pulled my hand away and tucked it under my right arm pit. "Well… Yeah… But I think that that might just be a bit of an understatement."

The angel looked into Bobby's house and then back at me with an almost sad look overtaking his facial expressions. Out of nowhere, my right hand moved as if of its own accord then clamped down onto Castiel's arm causing his expression to shift to one of pure confusion.

"Come with me Cas! You don't have to say anything, but I'm certain that you can keep me in check… You know just in case I stray off topic," I proposed with quiet desperation.

He carefully unlatched my deathlike grip from his forearm and placed it gently at my side explaining, "No angel may now enter this house as a precaution for your safety. I'm sorry, but you will have to face Dean on your own. But Adelaide… You CAN make him understand."

Before I could make any attempts to try to convince him to stay, Castiel disappeared, leaving me completely alone on the porch again. I stared at the front door, not really sure that I was ready to make my way through it.

Maybe I'll just stay out here and give it a little bit longer, I told myself as I started to chicken out of confronting Dean. After the thought was completed, I felt one sharp, deliberate kick and chuckled replying out loud, "Fine… Fine, I won't wuss out…"

I moved towards the door slowly and entered the house as quietly as I possibly could. After closing the door without making a sound, I stood in the threshold of Bobby's home, trying to listen for any movements from Dean. As I stood there, I could hear him walking around on the linoleum of the kitchen floor, opening then closing a few cupboard doors. Even though I could hear and somewhat track his movements, I couldn't quite tell what he was doing in the other room.

A couple of floorboards creaked under my (considerable) weight as I tiptoed towards the kitchen, but I froze each time hoping that I hadn't alerted Dean to my presence. At the kitchen door it was obvious that he hadn't heard me, so I just stood and watched Dean without saying a word. He was at the stove with his back to me, fussing with something that I couldn't make out from my current position.

When he turned around, Dean jumped slightly with surprise. I could now see that he was holding a tea pot in his hands and reasoned that he had been pouring the hot water into the pot when I first arrived. He carefully placed it on the table as I nearly whispered, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Dean smile despite of himself and replied, "I wasn't scared. I just thought that I was alone in the house so I was a bit startled is all."

I answered with a half-smile because I was unsure if he was trying to make a joke or not right now. If he wasn't and I did laugh, then we would be right back to where we had left off when I angrily stormed of hours earlier. I didn't want to return to that place because I knew that we had an important topic that shouldn't be avoided, so I desperately needed us to stay on track, no matter what.

"I made tea if you wanted some. It's caffeine free," he announced as he picked up a mug off of the table and tilted it towards me as part of the invitation.

I took a couple of tentative steps forward whispering, "Thanks that would be really nice."

He nodded and poured a mug full for me then placed it at a spot on the table at the far side from where he was standing. As I pulled the mug closer to me, I sat down on a chair at the same time. Dean abruptly turned and walked the tea pot back to the stove while I watched him in complete silence, sipping my tea carefully.

At the stove he turned to look in my general direction, but I immediately noticed that he wasn't actually looking at me. I started to follow his gaze while I had the mug lifted to my lips and nearly dropped it when my eyes landed on the object that held Dean's undivided attention.

"It's there for you to take if you want it back," Dean stated with a relatively neutral tone as he leaned on the oven and held onto the door's handle behind his back.

I placed the mug on the table and pick up the ring with my right hand. I flipped it onto my right index finger as I took a moment to double check that I could speak without letting my emotions get the best of me.

"Dean… I know that I was almost irrationally angry before, but the sentiment still holds true," I forced my eyes away from the wedding band to Dean's face to try to get him to understand. "If you truly do believe any of that… Well then we have some serious issues that we really need to discuss if we really want this relationship to survive."

Dean bowed his head as he shook it answering, "No… Just like you, I just know what buttons to push to get you going… Lay… Of course I know that you needed to go home to help Bill… And I know that you let me go and be with Sam because it was what was best for me…" He raised his head and finished just as calmly, "But all that said, it still just doesn't fell right sometimes."

I still had the band between my thumb and forefinger and continued flipping it back and forth saying, "Yeah, I know what you mean… I guess… I mean I'm sure that… Umm… I guess that the longer you and I are apart then the more intense our need to be together becomes."

"Well they do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder," he reasoned with the barest hint of humor.

"Yeah… But I think that in our case that might be putting it mildly"

I was watching the band as I continued to flip it between my thumb and forefinger, so I missed Dean's movement. He sat on the direct opposite side of the table and gently placed his hand over my own to stop me from any further fidgeting.

"Tell me again how you know that your plan will work… I mean how can you be so sure Lay?" He asked with soft concern.

I placed the ring back on the table and placed both of our hands over top of it and slowly explained, "Raphael… When Raphael did the whole mojo thing on the baby… She was pretty weak from using her grace, so I took advantage of that every opportunity that I got to grill her."

He pulled the ring a bit closer to himself and twirled it on the table with his index finger asking, "Okay… Yeah I think I get that… But what did he say that convinced you beyond a reasonable doubt that this will actually work?"

I took his hand in mine and weaved our fingers together then looked up at his sorrow filled eyes.

"According to her, no one knew about Toby until these past couple of years. Since I made sure that Mo and Bill had put their names on the Birth Certificate, no one… No one living beyond them and myself knew that you or I had had a child. If I could have just kept my distance from them… Then maybe I could have just kept it all to myself and then none of them would have ever found out the truth."

Dean untangled his fingers from mine and then he started stroke the back of my hand as it laid on the table top.

"And you think it could work a second time around?" He then pointedly looked at my belly and added, "I mean isn't the cat kind of out of the bag this time?"

"Yeah… You're right, it is… But I'm still sure that this is the best thing that I can come up with," I answered quietly as I felt my calm resolve start to break. "But this time… I… We… We wouldn't be doing it all on our own… Dean we have angels that are willing to help us."

"True," he conceded with a thoughtful pout on his face.

After a few minutes of silence, Dean picked up my ring then held my left and in his empty hand. As he slid it back onto his proper resting place, he asked, "So when…? Where…? And how long will I have to be apart from you this time?"

"Well… I still have a few details that I need to work out, but I can't Dean… I can't tell you where… You understand why I can't, right?" I took his left hand in both of mine and I stroked his fingers with my thumb.

He nodded and whispered, "Yeah, I do."

"And with the way this little one moves, I'm guessing we'll be apart a month… Maybe two, tops."

"Fuck… Lay a week would be too long."

I got up, walked around the table and kissed his lips softly before saying, "I know, for me too."

He then pulled me onto his lap despite me softly protesting, "Dean… No… I'm gigantic… I'll be too heavy for you."

After I was seated on his lap, Dean stroked my belly adoringly replying, "You're not gigantic. You are still so beautiful."

I rested my head against his and allowed him to hold me close. Our breathing soon became completely synched and I felt my body, my whole self relax against him more and more as Dean continued to pet my stomach. I only opened my eyes when I felt Dean's free hand start to reach into the rear right pocket of my jeans.

As I raised my head off of his shoulder I slurred a confused, "Dean?"

He held up my cell phone and replied, "We should call Bobby so that we can finally get a proper meal into you… I could feel your stomach growling even if you and I couldn't hear it."

I smiled self-consciously then he leaned up and kissed me. When he sat back, I couldn't help but catch the look of sad remorse that filled his eyes as he looked at me.

Before he could attempt to speak again, I pulled his lips to mine in a deeper, lingering kiss. When I finally relented, I said, "I know… I know… I mean, I understand how you feel… And Dean? I'm sorry too."