The gold figure illuminating under the sparkling sky was more than captivating. I couldn't help but stare at her. When did she look so much like a woman?

"You look nice, Ranma." Akane smiled at me. I'd been caught.

"Uh…heh…well Nabiki helped me out." I twitched nervously.

"Really?" Akane giggled. "She actually helped me out too. Isn't it nice when she offers to do kind things for free?"

Free? I guess I missed that part of the deal. I was too busy racking up a shopping bill and treating her royal highness to an ice cream sundae.

I just smiled and nodded.

"You look nice too, Akane." I casually complimented her.

She smiled at this and turned her attention to Gena and Daisuke.

"So where are we going?" she asked with interest.

Daisuke scratched the back of his head in a state of confusion.

"Uh well, it's this place some friends of mine at St. Heberke's recommended. It's a jazz club, and you're welcome to dance there." Gena answered.

"Oh…what's the name of the place?" She asked curiously.

"Jonny's." Gena smiled.

Akane and I traded curious glances. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Never heard of that place before…" Akane admitted.

"Oh, well…it should be just up ahead."

I inched myself closer to Akane as we walked. I noticed that Gena and Daisuke were holding hands. I reached for Akane's. She didn't seem to mind. I was surprised by how much smaller her hand was than mine. I smiled when our fingers hooked together like puzzle pieces.

(3 hours later)

"Ok, are you sure you know where this place is?" I asked skeptically.

"Hey, if Gena said she knew where it was, we'll get there." Daisuke defended.

"Hon, it's getting late….or rather…early…where is it?" Daisuke whispered impatiently.

"We uh…must have passed it several blocks back. I wasn't really paying attention." Gena shyly admitted.

"Great." My sarcastic side was livelier than ever.

There was muffled music coming through one of the buildings.

"Guys, I hate to put you out… but I really need a restroom." Akane announced.

We stopped walking.

"Akane, if we're going to make it in time, you're going to have to hold it." I instructed.

"I have been…and now you're going to have to hold it." Akane hissed.

Gena and Daisuke watched tentatively; neither one daring to but in.

"For cryin' in the sink 'kane! Can't you suck it up? We're almost there."

I was cranky. I didn't ask to go on this date; I didn't ask to wear uncomfortable clothes; I didn't ask to shell out an unseemly lump of cash to make this happen, but I did it without complaint…for her. And damn it all, we were going to get to the club before it closed!

"Ranma! You can be such a jerk sometimes. Honestly!" She paused and turned to Gena and Daisuke.

"I'm sorry guys; you can go on ahead without me."

"No that's ok Akane, we'll wait for you." Daisuke confirmed and Gena nodded.

Akane hurried inside the large, heavy doors of the building. There was an instant blaring of the previously muffled music. Country music. Egh.

Gena, Daisuke and I followed her in to what I would soon find to be the seventh circle of hell.

The country music was loud and twangy. There were cowboy hats as far as the eye could see. I spotted a woman with a mullet serving up beer to a man with a 'You Might Be a Redneck …' t-shirt. Where the hell was I? And why was there a place like this in Nerima?

In the middle of the room was a large group of people dancing in some sort of line formation. Gena spied the dancing and squealed. "Ooh! Doesn't that look like fun? I know how to line dance, I was born in Texas after all." "Sure hon…" Daisuke answered, slightly petrified.

Akane came out of the Ladies' room and observed the dancing in the middle of the room.

"Hey guys…what's going on?" She asked puzzled.

"It's line dancing. It's really fun…d'ya wanna try?" Gena grinned.

"Um…ok? I don't really know how…" Akane admitted sheepishly.

"That's ok…I can teach you!" Gena offered.

"Ok…" Akane hesitantly replied.

"YAY!" Gena shouted enthusiastically.

"C'mon Daisuke…" Gena prodded him.

His eyes were pleading me to do something. I just stood, too dumbfounded to react.

"Ranma, are you coming?" Akane politely requested.

"I don't think so." I replied firmly. Disgusting.

"Yeah, that's typical. Well don't forget my promise." Akane smirked.

I made a show of looking at the men in the room and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Knock yourself out."

I leaned against a post and watched as Gena tried to teach Akane and Daisuke how to line dance. It was pretty comical. Daisuke looked like a constipated dog dancing out there. Akane wasn't much better. She moved too slowly and a man from behind trampled over her. She took it in stride until the fifth or sixth time.

"Hey you dimwitted clod, I'm dancing here!" she shouted.

The man behind her just laughed.

When the song was over, all three of them headed off the dance floor and over to where I was standing.

"Now didn't that look fun, Ranma?" Gena prodded.

"Not as fun as eating staples…or licking dirt." I sharply replied.

"I can arrange that." Akane threatened. And she could. Her cooking was usually quite similar.

I chose to keep that comment to myself.

"Oh come off it, Grandpa. Would it kill you to lighten up once in awhile?" Akane glared at me. Apparently she didn't appreciate my witty sarcasm.

"Sure I can. I'd rather it be in a place where men didn't bare midriffs." I quipped.

"Oh please, they're harmless. Besides, you shake your stuff in front of Casper all the time." Akane interjected.

"That's different!" I argued. "And I do not shake anything." The nerve.

About this time, a burly man in a black cowboy hat strode up to Akane. It was the man who trampled all over her earlier.

"Hey, you gonna save me a dance?" He asked with a smile.

Akane giggled. She looked over at me and winked.

The man looked at me too.

"Didn't mean to be impolite. My name's Jin." He announced.

"I'm Akane…and that's Ranma." Akane gestured to me.

The man nodded slowly and turned his attention back to me.

"Have you laid claim on this pretty lady?" He asked cautiously.

Was he for real? Who talks like that? Laid claim? Somebody should lay claim on some brain cells.

"No, I don't have a claim on her…Neanderthal." I grumbled.

The man ignored me and turned his attention to Akane.

"Well…how 'bout it?" he asked again.

"Well…ok. I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself. Maybe then I'll forgive you for the bruises on my feet." Akane grinned and took his arm. Over her shoulder she stuck her tongue out at me.

I watched them saunter off as a chorus of "Boot Scootin' Boogie" droned on.

Get down, turn around, go to town… boot scootin' boogie….

As they danced, Jin took off his black cowboy hat and put it on Akane's head. She laughed and posed with it. Egh. Didn't she believe in head lice? This was a perfect destruction of my once glorious evening. Now all I needed was a herd of fiancés to fall through the roof.

Somebody malicious had apparently read my thoughts. However, it wasn't a herd…and they didn't fall from the sky. They used the front door.

"Nihao!" shouted a high pitched voice. In bounded a mass of purple hair, a quacking duck, and a giant spatula. Of course Ukyou was standing behind it.

I laughed nervously and my whole body began to twitch. Something truly evil was about to happen.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded icily.

"I bring Ranma dinner and Ranma not home. I pay greedy girl. She spill beans." Shampoo shrugged.

"Yeah, and I was on my way to come see you and I found this purple-haired hussy sniffing around your place. I followed her. How was I to know we'd drag our sorry butts into every club, tavern and pool hall in Nerima?" She glared at me as though I was her wayward husband.

The duck quacked loudly and launched himself at my leg. I plucked him off.

"Didja happen to see a place called Jonny's?" I asked in irritation.

"Yes…why you ask?" Shampoo looked at me curiously.

"No reason…" I flatly answered. I couldn't think of a decent explanation that wouldn't end with me escorting her there.

"Oh Sugar, why are you in a place like this?" Ukyou asked in disgust.

A large man in a trucker hat belched loudly behind her as he passed. She growled in irritation, then a flying peanut shell struck her forehead.

"This place suck!" Shampoo agreed.

"Oh there's the reason." Ukyou groaned as she spied Akane dancing with Jin.

"She dumped you. It's time you rebound." Ukyou offered. I began to sweat. If it hasn't been made apparent to you already, I'm not one for conflict.

"Nah. She's only dancing with that gorilla because I wouldn't dance. She's just tryin' to make me jeal---"

"Oh Ranma honey! You turned her down because you'd rather dance with a real woman. Right?" Ukyou's eyes were threatening.

I sidestepped the question. "I'd prefer not to dance here." I simply stated. Though the thought of doing anything that remotely resembled dancing in an establishment like this was enough to make my skin crawl.

My request apparently fell on deaf ears.

"Ranma no dance with Spatula Girl. Ranma dance with Shampoo!" Shampoo hissed.

"Now wait just a minute. I asked Ranma first. He's going to dance with me!" Ukyou roared and she swung her spatula high over head.

The production was loud enough to drown out the music. Akane noticed the argument. She glared in my direction but said nothing. That was good; she didn't have any room to talk anyway.

In the midst of this heated argument, Ryoga stormed into the building.

"Ranma Saotome! You cad! I don't know what you've done…but you better not do it anymore!"

He tried to sound as threatening as possible. He just can't pull it off.

"What now?" I asked, mostly for posterity's sake. I was more surprised that it had taken him so long to follow the girls than I was by his being there.

"I was training rigorously in the wilderness when I saw these two run past." His eyes narrowed. "And it's a good thing I did! I knew there'd be trouble. Look at you…philandering in an establishment like this. You've let that ogre attack poor Akane!"

"First of all, I'm not philandering….and Akane chose to dance with that imbecile." I retorted.

"Secondly, be honest…you were camping out in the park again, weren't you?"

"How dare you belittle the grueling hardships? It was hell! I was attacked by filthy feathered demons! They stole my food. Then this man proclaiming to be a great medieval wizard stole my backpack. He said he needed it to appease a pagan god! I came here with nothing but the clothes on my back!" Ryoga cried valiantly.

"Oh for Pete's sake! That's crazy Ol' Man Hal. He threw your backpack at the cement truck again, didn't he?" Ryoga loved to exaggerate. I loved to knock the wind out of his sail.

"Ranma! When we fight again, you'll see what I've mastered!" He laughed maniacally.

"Ryoga…hon…did the park squirrels nest in your head?" Ukyou jabbed.

Ryoga blushed. He glared at me and I knew there'd be a fight before the night was over.

The song ended and Jin thanked Akane for the dance. She smiled and nodded. She strode over to where we were standing. Gena and Daisuke joined her.

"Well, now that we're all here…should we try to find Jonny's?" She eyed Shampoo and Ukyou skeptically. She almost stepped on poor Mousse.

We were all but ready to leave, when a fast-paced song sounded through the speakers.

"Ooh! I love this song!" Gena announced.

"You can Jive to it!"

She began pulling Daisuke by the arm in the direction of the dance floor. "Just one more dance…" she pleaded. There it went…all hope of redeeming this night.

"Jive? What do you say Akane?" Ryoga asked shyly.

"Sure!" She winked at me again.

"Great! You're coming with me Ranma Honey." Ukyou grabbed me by the arm and started to drag me. She didn't get far before Shampoo grabbed the other one.

'Hung my cotton dress on rusted wire
Up there on Pilahatchee Bridge
Just a crazy roughneck's daughter
Jumped head-first into the water
Baptized away my sins

Hitched to town with Bobby Jo and Tommy
Couple of lookers, new best friends
We slipped in the back of Sunday service
Know them church ladies, they heard us
Bum smoke money from the offering

Mama said, "Idle hands are Devil's handywork"
Oh, the trouble you'll get into
You got nothin' better to do, got nothin' better to do
You got nothin' better to do, got nothin' better to do…