A/N- I think I'm just going to place a warning at the beginning of all my fics from now on- something like "I am the most inconsistent and slowest updater you will ever meet- BUT just because I haven't updated in like SEVEN MONTHS doesn't mean I'VE DROPPED A FIC- I actually never drop fics" (actually that's a lie I just dropped a fic- for VERY good reasons- and started rewriting another but that doesn't count as dropping)

Point is, even if it's taking forever, please don't give up on me xD Writers block is a bitch.

Here's an unfortunately short chapter- the next one will definitely be a Jean chapter. Maybe throw you guys some smutties. Quick question; will Jean top or bottom? Hm...

Eren could have done something productive on a Friday night. He'd taken the night off, after all, and it was a rare occasion. Why waste it? He could have gone partying with his roommate, he could have caught up with his sister. Hell, he could have listened to ancient boy bands and it would have been better than what he had done.

Instead, he had ignored his roommate, glared at his sister, and most certainly did not listen to Backstreet Boys.

Bypassing Backstreet Boys for what he would come to describe later as emotional and mental hell, Eren wrapped himself in a heavy blanket and sat up against his headboard, letting his computer illuminate his room.

Eren almost forgot his headphones.

He didn't know how it would make him feel. Eren thought maybe he'd be enraged and disgusted enough to throw up then delete and block Levi's number from his phone. Maybe even mad enough to tell Mikasa she was right.

Eren didn't feel any of that, however, as the first video began to play. His stomach rolled, unsettled at first, and his heart pounded painfully away as he watched Levi grind against another guy. It was hard to make the connection between the man he knew and the one he was watching on a site he prayed wouldn't give his computer twenty different viruses.

But Eren had to. There was no difference between Levi and the man practically ripping the clothes off of a guy who was ten times hotter than Eren- and a hundred times more experienced.

He became horrified, both at himself and the video, just as he started to feel insecurity take charge.

It looked far too natural for Levi and his… Eren cringed just thinking the word costar, to simply shed all clothing and get to business. He froze when the first moan played through his headphones. Eren watched, transfixed, as Levi went down on the other man, drawing harsh gasps and excited cries from him.

Just like he did to me...

Eren buried one of his own in a thick layer of comforter and tore his gaze away from the scene. No way, he thought, no fucking way is this happening. He sat still and shut his eyes tight, trying to focus on anything but the way Levi sounded as he growled things that would make even Marco blush. On the way he made that man gasp and moan and snarl his frustration and desire.

Eren kept that thought in his mind. With the headphones it was too easy to imagine Levi was right there. That was all it was- it sounded like Levi was there with him, that was the only reason he could feel his cock begin to swell.

Slowly, he turned his attention back to his laptop. That would help, it had to help. Seeing Levi rather than hearing him fuck someone on an obscure porn site had to turn him off.

It didn't, but even Eren could see the mechanical way Levi went about doing things. He was detached but efficient, rough but with a look that suggested rough was the fastest way to get things over with.

Rough in a way that had Eren's blood double timing it to his dick. Startled and dismayed, Eren slammed his laptop shut and shoved it to the edge of his bed, gladly losing the headphones in the process, before he pressed down on himself and tried to will the unbidden boner away.

Is this what Levi had wanted to happen?

Mikasa didn't give him a chance to dwell on the thought. Guilt almost drove away his shame- he felt like a teenager getting caught by his parents with his hand down his pants and particularly nasty porn playing on the computer.

Not too far off the mark, except his computer was figuratively grounded and Eren considered himself a responsible enough adult. If he wanted to watch porn his sort of boyfriend just so happened to be in, Eren could do it.

He still felt like shit when he met his sister's eyes, though. It was painfully obvious she knew what he had been doing.

Add embarrassed to the list, Eren thought with a sneer as she settled down at the end of his bed.

"You fell too fast again, didn't you?" Mikasa asked softly. A question that didn't need an answer- Eren kept his eyes on his computer, glaring at the thing like it was the one who caused all of this.

"How do you do it?" Eren blurted, staring at Mikasa as if she had the answers to everything. "Out of everyone I know you have the simplest relationship," he added when she frowned, but his explanation didn't seem to do anything to help clear it up for her. "You and Annie just... work so well together..." Eren said with no small amount of envy apparent in his voice.

"Jean and-"

"Marco is a stripper," Eren mused, smirking when Mikasa's jaw dropped, but thinking about his roommate wasn't helping him at the moment. That was an entirely new source of drama Eren wasn't yet ready to touch.

"Well… At least you caught this one early," she said, going as far to even put a consoling hand on Eren's arm.

It was that proud and satisfied expression that had Eren carefully choosing his next words. "I actually… thought about talking to Erwin..." He wasn't sure exactly what Levi had been so desperate for him to see, or how he would even go about responding to Levi, but he knew Erwin would have some advice. Both as Levi's friend and as a guy dating a porn actor.

Mikasa, however, didn't seem to like that idea. Even in the dim room, Eren could see her expression grow dark and cold.

"Why would you need to talk to Erwin?"

"I just… That is, Erwin knows Levi so I feel like if anyone can understand-"

Mikasa took more time to cut him off than Eren had anticipated. She stood quickly, one hand out to silence him, then made her way back to the bedroom door to turn on the light.

"You're going to let an ex, one who used you, decide if you should stay with another man, who, by the way, will also use you?" she asked quietly. Mikasa was mad- mad enough that she wasn't even lecturing him.

Her anger bled into Eren's increasing frustration.

All but puffing up, Eren answered, "I'm going to ask Erwin why exactly Levi asked me to do something weird to try and understand where he's coming from and what he's thinking." Pausing, he took a deep breath before surging to his feet. "I can't make the connection, Mikasa! I can't make the connection between that-" Eren pointed to his computer, then threw his hands up in helpless confusion. "-and the guy I've been seeing! So if you think I'm not going to turn to my ex who apparently used me for advice, an ex who's dating a guy like Levi, then you really need to get to know me." Placing his hands on his hips, Eren nodded to himself, satisfied with his little speech.

"Eren, I can't be here for you when you take the hit," Mikasa warned, the anger and hurt in her voice having more of an effect on Eren than he had thought.

Her worry for him meant a lot, but he couldn't let her rule his life like this.

"I never said I was going to continue seeing Levi," he started slowly, then continued quickly when she opened her mouth. "Just like I never said I wasn't going to continue seeing him. I don't know, Mikasa. But I have the right to figure it out and Levi has the right to explain." Trying to put his thoughts back in order, he said, "I don't feel like he was intentionally hiding this to hurt me. I think, in a way, he doesn't think it's that big of a deal either. I'm the one that made him feel like it was.

"And despite how nice it is to know this, what you did was invasive, Mikasa. The fact that you were looking out for me doesn't excuse it- you… invaded Levi's privacy. For all I know, Levi could have been freaking out over how to tell me... trying to figure out the perfect way to bring it up."

She didn't seem to know how to reply to that, either because she was too angry or because Eren had hit home. But it didn't matter, Eren was already making plans, compartmentalizing things. He didn't have time to figure out if Mikasa wasn't as bullheaded as he thought- especially when he had the feeling she felt what she had done was just and right.

Right then he needed to talk to Erwin, and at ten o'clock on a Friday night he knew exactly where the man would be.

Despite trying to understand and keep an open mind when he saw Armin, Eren still couldn't help but give his friend the cold shoulder when he ran into him. Which, if Armin's apparent confusion was anything to go by, meant that word hadn't spread beyond Levi and- hopefully- Erwin. Eren didn't think he'd be able to coherently explain the whole mess.

Looking at Armin though, Eren couldn't help but feel irrationally jealous and hurt. It wasn't like they'd been sleeping around behind his back- he hadn't even known Armin that long, and he and Levi hadn't actually made their relationship official.

Also, it was… business sex. Armin had seemed to say that a lot, but it was something Eren thought sounded really weird.

Either way, he kept their conversation short and to the point.

"Erwin?" Eren asked, skimming right over Armin's elated greeting and struggling to ignore the way his smile dropped.

Armin stuck a thumb over his shoulder and mouthed, in the back, not bothering to shout over the crowd and pounding music.

Eren nodded once before taking off. He couldn't really look the blond in the eye, which made him feel guilty- even hurt himself- but he decided seeing pictures of your friend fucking your kind of sort of boyfriend for an audience could make any relationship awkward.

They'd sort it out.

Erwin didn't seem too surprised to see him. He seemed to be everything except surprised, like some weird mixture of relief, weariness, understanding, confusion, and maybe even frustration.

Putting his chin in his hand, Erwin greeted him with a strained, "If you were going to come in anyway you might as well have worked tonight. We're busy."

"Yeah, well… The last thing I need to do is give someone a cup of tears instead of beer. Or push all my problems onto a drunk who instead needs to be escorted out," Eren retorted as he awkwardly took a seat in one of the two chairs before Erwin's desk.

This would be the first time he'd ever been in Erwin's office since he'd been hired. And his official first time had been to retrieve a file while the older man was sick.

His mind still circling around his business, Erwin observed rather pointlessly, "You don't look like you've been crying..."

"Well, I mean, and this is just a guess, that's probably because I've been a bit too busy being hilariously angry and confused over why exactly Levi wanted me to watch his fucking porn!" Eren exclaimed, voice rising on every word until Erwin was wincing and holding a hand up in a placating gesture.

His anger had returned in full force, reminding him why he was mad at Levi, and why the other man didn't even deserve half a second chance to explain.

"Eren-"

"Was he ever going to tell me? When did Armin tell you-"

"I knew right off the bat, Eren," Erwin interrupted easily, his eyes soft with… sympathy or pity, Eren couldn't decide.

Either one would have pissed him off.

Before Eren could tell his boss exactly where he could put his pity, Erwin continued.

"It's not easy. I trust Armin wholeheartedly, but even knowing that his actual profession is sex based doesn't make it less upsetting whenever he comes home from work." Erwin's attention had zeroed in on Eren, blue eyes so serious and piercing it was impossible to even look away, embarrassed.

His words weren't helping anymore than that look was. The way Erwin could give his undivided attention was something Eren had fallen for, but now it just made him tired.

"You need to get it now, Eren. You need to understand that sometimes Levi will have to cancel a date with you for a shoot. That sometimes he'll be too tired to even touch you, or too irritated to let you touch him. And he'll be too much of an asshole to explain to you why," the older man continued, gaze never wavering.

Eren's stomach lurched at the idea, but he quickly shut down Erwin's train of thought. "I don't think I'm going to continue seeing him..." he mumbled.

"Right," Erwin snorted, finally looking away only to roll his eyes. "If you weren't seriously considering giving Levi a chance you wouldn't be talking to me right now. Why would you need to?"

"B-because… I don't know why… Levi would want me to, uh, watch his… his, um… videos?" Eren supplied rather weakly, stumbling over his words. Heat rushed to his cheeks quickly, fast enough to make him so dizzy he had to close his eyes and press his hands against his head. He felt caught- he felt cheap. Less than two days and already Eren was starting to feel less and less bothered by the fact that Levi was a porn star, only upset that Levi had been hiding it from him.

"Levi told me you might be a little worried about his intentions," Erwin said after a long, tense, moment.

Eren laughed weakly at the statement. "A little would be the understatement of the year, boss. I'm a little worried about paying rent every month. I'm ridiculously worried over Levi's intentions," he corrected.

Erwin seemed to think over his words for a few seconds, eyes locked on his desk while he tapped a pen quickly against the metal. "You know, I really liked Armin's naivety when he first came to LA. Everything seemed to amaze him; he was so overwhelmed and awestruck. We'd go to the beach and he'd absolutely die of excitement. I liked that so much it was the main reason I asked him out."

Eren frowned, unsure of where Erwin was going with this and disturbed by the feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. However ridiculous those feelings were. It still hurt- everything guy related seemed to be kicking him in the ass lately, and he was getting really sick of it.

"That's gone now, of course. The entire reason I was so attracted to him in the beginning, the entire reason I wanted to see him, gone. He doesn't even look up from his phone when we drive past the beach, and he doesn't lose his mind when he sees a celebrity or a place a celebrity has been. But I still love him. Naturally, I found out other things about him. Things I hate and things I love." Erwin stared at him intently for a few moments before sighing and elaborating, "Point is, Levi probably won't lose interest when you're able to screw his brains out in five minutes and the blushing virgin act is long gone."

Eren stuttered and stammered, almost hyperventilated at one point, for a full minute before burying his face in his hands and groaning, "The hell, Erwin?"

"That's what you're worried about, isn't it?" Erwin asked, for all the world looking like he was genuinely puzzled by Eren's reaction. "Levi said you were worried he'd lose interest when you could-"

"Don't say it. For the sake of my integrity and pride, please don't finish that sentence," Eren interrupted.

But he understood what Erwin was saying at least. As painful as the reminder that he'd been dumped on his ass and the older man had happily and easily moved on had been, the message of the story had been received.

"This is hard," he admitted just above a whisper, risking a glance up at Erwin only to be surprised by the look of guilt his words had earned him.

He was surprised to find himself touched by the look. Erwin did understand what he had done three years ago, how it would have hurt Eren. And while Erwin wasn't actually the source of Eren's problems, what had happened between them sort of was a result of what he had done- and the other man understood that.

Clearing his throat, Erwin said, "I've known Levi for eleven years now, and I can tell you he's not going to make it any easier for you."

"What if he doesn't like… the other things about me..." Eren spoke slowly and focused on one of the framed licenses behind Erwin, too ashamed to look at him. Insecurity was one thing- pushing it onto your ex boyfriend was another thing entirely.

Erwin's voice was even and firm, almost as if he were having a simple business conversation. "That's a risk you take, Eren. That's a risk Levi's taking, too. Honestly, you should be talking to Armin about this. He understands Levi's situation better than I can, just like I understand your situation better than Levi can."

"Is that why Levi talked to you?"

"Levi talked to me because he trusts me. And because I'm managing a relationship with a porn actor," Erwin answered, his lips twitching as if he were trying not to grin. "It's not easy. He knows that by how often I spend nights on his couch after one of Armin's more… risque… jobs. You could say he was gaining insight. Trying to understand how he should help you when inevitable problems occur- sorry, if you react to these inevitable problems."

Eren thought over Erwin's words carefully, trying to decide if he was just desperate or if he liked Levi enough to sign himself up for what hopefully wasn't a relationship as stressful as Erwin was implying.

"I'll talk to Levi," he decided after a long moment of silence.

Erwin's smile was small and tired, but as he waved Eren away he said, "Think about it first, kid."

Sneering at the name, Eren slipped out of the office and worked his way through the familiar crowd. His frustration didn't even allow him to be surprised when he passed by Jean and Marco- both men so obviously caught up in each other that Eren instead felt envious.

He wanted that, and if Levi was the only one he wanted that with, then he'd deal with the problems.