Thank goodness for Leliana breaking my writer's block for me!
Alistair's fingers trembled, and the spoon fell from his grip to clatter to the table. He narrowed his eyes at Leliana, giving her the best glare he could. It wasn't working very well for a lot of reasons. Partly because, in the bard's experience, he wasn't the best glare-er. Mostly because he was having trouble making his eyes focus.
"You treacherous, sneaky...underhanded...lying..." the almost-templar growled.
"Now, now, darling," Leliana warned, wagging her finger at him. "Do watch your language."
He continued as if he hadn't heard her. Raising his unsteady hand, he pointed in Leliana's general direction accusingly. "Double-crossing...wolf-in-sheep's-clothing..."
"Your Majesty?" Sigrun's voice was filled with confusion, and just a hint of alarm. "Is something-"
Leliana's nerves tensed. Dealing with everyone in a few moments was going to be tricky, at best. If only Lorelai were here... The gap between her present and past companions would be easily bridged. But, obviously, if Lorelai were here, they probably wouldn't have met in the first place.
The Orlesian tried to swallow passed the lump that had formed in her throat. May the Maker have mercy on those who had stolen her friend. She certainly didn't plan to show them any mercy. But she couldn't dwell on that right now. Her first priority was taking care of the friend in front of her, since he seemed to have forgotten how.
"...bard!" Alistair finished. Just in time, too. He slumped forward, smacking his head on the table and missing the empty stew bowl by inches.
The room devolved into chaos faster than Leliana could blink. Going against all instincts, she remained sitting, even as Sigrun raced around the table and drew her blades. The elves, Aednat and Aideen, followed suit, closing in from behind her. Leliana didn't need to look to know their weapons were out and ready. It took everything she had to keep her back to them.
She flicked a glance across the table to Anders, who'd gotten to his feet, as well. His eyes, once filled only with blatant adoration (which she had to admit was appealing), now looked at her with a mixture of horror and confusion. Leliana preferred the adoration, and she felt a strange pang in her chest with its absence. How silly.
She risked another glance to Oghren, who was blinking at her owlishly. She suppressed a sigh. No help from him. Not that she'd expected any. The drunken dwarf could not be counted on for a lot, but loyalty was one thing he excelled at...in his own strange way. However, what she'd just done had gone right over his head. Therefore, she was alone in a room full of strangers...who thought she'd just murdered their King. Unhelpful.
Her eyes settled on Sigrun. There was the leader, there was the one she needed to convince.
"What did you do to him?" she snarled, dark eyes spitting fire.
"He's not dead," Leliana answered simply, waving her hand casually. "You can check if you like. Although, one would think you would have done that first, no?"
"Anders," Sigrun snapped without taking her eyes from Leliana.
The mage moved without question. From her peripheral vision, the bard could see the expert touch of a healer's hands as he danced his fingers over Alistair's throat and wrist. "He's alive," he answered. "In fact, he's just-"
A rumbling snore interrupted him.
"-sleeping," he finished, a relieved smile crossing his face.
Leliana spread her hands wide, trying to grin as innocently as possible. "See? No harm done."
Sigrun narrowed her eyes, and started to lower her weapons. Slowly, though. "You drugged him."
"Indeed. If I may?" Leliana made to reach into her armor. Sigrun nodded tightly. Reaching into her leather bodice, she pulled out the packet of powder. With a gentle flick of her wrist, she tossed it to Anders. The mage caught it out of reflex. "Go on, inspect it."
There was a rustle of paper, followed by a thoughtful pause as he tasted it. "Woo, that's got a punch to it!" he exclaimed. "Do you go hunting for bear with this stuff, madam bard?"
Leliana took her eyes off of Sigrun, and she let what she knew to be a dazzling smile curve her lips. "Wouldn't you like to know, ser mage?"
He blushed, but he smiled nonetheless. "Not sure that I would now, actually."
That blush of his was purely delicious. Could she make it worse? "A shame," she purred, and threw in a wink for good measure.
The color in his cheeks deepened, but he kept that smile. "Indeed."
"Look, my arms are getting tired," one of the elves said from behind Leliana's back. She had only just met them, and couldn't recognize just based on the voice which one it was. A tiny frown creased her brow. This was no time to be lax with her observational skills. "Are we going to kill her, or what?"
Sigrun sighed, and sheathed her blades in a smooth motion over her shoulders. "No, Aednat, we're not."
"All right, then."
Leliana felt relief ease through her muscles, erasing the tension in a flood. "Thank you," she said, inclining her head to Sigrun.
"Next time you're going to do something like that, I'd appreciate a head's up," the dwarf said irritably.
"It would've been suspicious if I'd tried to talk to you alone," Leliana pointed out. "This way, we weren't all staring at him while he ate."
A pained expression crossed the dwarf's face. "Did you have to drug him? I mean, you seemed like you had no problem getting him to do what you wanted."
The bard's smile faded a bit. "I can boss him around to eat, yes. But sleep? I cannot order him to do that. We can lock him in his room all we want, he'll simply wear a groove through the stone with his pacing."
"He does do a lot of that when he's anxious, doesn't he?" Sigrun agreed.
Leliana rolled her eyes comically. "Count your blessings that he doesn't have a habit of wearing his ridiculous armor around the palace. Maker, the racket in camp!"
Sigrun laughed, and Leliana knew that she was truly in the clear. "Oghren, go locate some burly guards to drag the King to his bedchamber."
"What do you want me to tell 'em? That the sassy Orlesian put him out? Should go over well," he snorted.
"Tell them he had too much to drink," Leliana supplied. "They should believe that, coming from you."
Oghren got to his feet. "Ha ha ha. Haven't missed you one bit, you snooty bitch."
"Yes, you have," Leliana argued, smiling widely and batting her eyelashes.
He threw up his hands and stomped from the room. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"How long will he be out?" Sigrun asked, turning to look at Alistair. She gave him an experimental poke on the shoulder.
"A day, at least. When he wakes, we'll do it again," Leliana answered.
"Again?" Sigrun shook her head. "I don't know about-"
"Sigrun," Leliana interrupted, and she could feel her polite smile freeze into place, "you have done an excellent job holding everything together. It is not your fault that you could not control Alistair. You do not know him well enough, and you're not equipped to defy him. Given your present set of skills, you have done all you could.
"But now, in the state he has worked himself into, there is no other measure but force. If we continue to ask, to plead, we will fail. Alistair's heart and soul is completely ruled by Lorelai. No one, including myself or the rest of his friends, has ever had to deal with him in a situation like this. He will drive himself mad before we have a chance to rescue her if we allow him to. Force is the only way we will control him right now."
Silence greeted her speech. She wasn't terribly surprised by that.
"You act like he's some kind of...wild animal," Anders said.
"You have never seen him in battle," Leliana pointed out. "I have, and he is a man to be reckoned with. That must be restored to him, and then contained, until we find Lorelai. Then, we can unleashed him." She smiled, and she knew it wasn't a friendly one. "When that time comes, then you will know the Alistair I know."
The guards came in at that moment. "Oh, gentlemen, thank you so much!" Leliana gushed, clapping her hands together. "He's so dreadfully heavy, you know. We just couldn't manage him on our own. We just don't have such...strength at our disposal." She batted her eyelashes.
They drew their spines taller at her praise, then bowed to her, and between the two of them carried Alistair's sleeping form out the door.
The instant the door closed behind them, the blonde elf, Aednat, burst into laughter. "Oh, you're incredible. I'd never have the stomach for that routine!"
"It's a beneficial skill to have. Perhaps you underestimate yourself," Leliana countered.
"Oh, she doesn't," the other elf, Aideen, said. "She'd vomit halfway through. As would I. We'll leave that kind of linguistic dance to you."
"A pity. No woman should undervalue the advantage of playing to a man's ego."
"We don't play to anyone's ego," Aednat said firmly.
Leliana's sharp gaze took in the broadsword, now sheathed, over Aideen's shoulder and the shine of Aednat's longsword as she spun it idly, the point drilling a minute hole in the floor. "No, I can see that you don't."
"Could everyone give Leliana and I a minute, please?" Sigrun asked.
The elves rose without question. "Don't let her talk you in circles," Aednat called over her shoulder brightly. They were gone a moment later.
Anders was slower to leave. "Sigrun, are you going to-"
"Behave? Fight her? Steal her heart so you can't have it? Run off and leave her in charge? Talk? Get her to drug me until we find the Commander?" she supplied, grinning brazenly at him.
He stared at her in muted shock.
"In case you were wondering, the answers are yes, no, no, no, yes, and no," she added impudently.
Leliana couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of her mouth. "Don't worry, Anders. I know I promised you some tales of my thrilling escapades in exchange for your Tower stories. I won't forget."
His pained gaze switched back and forth between the two women. "Maker help me," he finally groaned, leaving the room without a backwards glance.
"Oh, he's fun," Leliana said with a wistful sigh. "Now, what did want to talk to me about?"
"I have questions," Sigrun said, pacing around the table to be across from the bard. She sat down in the seat heavily, as if her questions weighed her down. "I'd like answers."
Leliana spread her hands wide and smiled innocently. "I'll answer them as best I can." Whether the answers would be the truth or not, well, that depended on the question.
"What is with you and Zevran?"
The Orlesian blinked. That question was unexpected. "We are partners, confidantes, allies, friends."
"Nothing more?"
"No, although he is quite handsome, isn't he?" Leliana winked and wrinkled her nose to irk the dwarf.
"I suppose if you like that sort of thing," Sigrun snorted.
"You don't?"
"I don't like games," the Grey Warden replied. "He seems to enjoy them."
"If I may counter with my own question, why do you want to know? What does my relationship, or lack thereof, with Zev have to do with anything?"
"You seemed intimate. I was just curious."
"Ah, you Fereldans and your definition of 'intimate'!" Leliana scoffed. "That is not why you asked, by the way."
"Excuse me?" Sigrun seemed offended at the implication.
"That's not why you asked. What is the truth?"
"I like to know the relationships of those fighting around me. Loyal is loyal, but when love is on the line, people will act accordingly."
"A very shrewd observation," Leliana agreed. "So tell me, are you Nathaniel's lover?"
Sigrun's hands smacked flat on the table. "I believe you were there when I answered that question," she said quietly, her voice filled with outrage.
"Of course, but I assumed you were lying in front of the boys. Come now, just us girls." Leliana leaned forward and gave a conspiratorial wink. "I won't tell."
"You have my answer, and I won't give it again," the dwarf answered tightly.
"Fine, fine." Leliana sat back, raising her hands in surrender. She wondered if Sigrun knew how transparent she was. They may not be lovers, Leliana was willing to grant her that. But the dwarf certainly wanted them to be. Why would that be something to hide. Maybe she was simply shy.
Or maybe the former legionnaire was unaware of her own heart. Perhaps she truly believed what she was saying. Could someone be so blind? It seemed a legitimate possibility. Interesting. "Next question."
"What do you intend to do about Anders?"
Again, surprising. "Do about him? I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"You know exactly what I mean. If you are not interested in him in the slightest, tell him now. Don't string him along."
"My, my. We are protective of our brother Warden, aren't we?" Leliana wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Not Nathaniel's lover, but perhaps someone else's?"
"Sweet bloody Stone, no!" Sigrun exclaimed. "Are you serious?"
Leliana smirked. That was the appropriate response for the truth. If Sigrun had really wanted to deny her feelings for the mysterious Nathaniel Howe, she would've been better off with this tactic. Of course, that would indicate that she knew there was a tactic to be taken. If she was truly desired Howe unknowingly, she wouldn't think about how defensive her answers sounded. "Then it is from sheer sisterly concern that you demand action from me regarding your lovely, blond mage?"
Sigrun glared at her and didn't answer.
"Well you certainly can't expect me to have an answer now, can you? I have only just met him!" The bard rested her chin on one hand. "He is dreamy, though, I must admit. And he resembles Alistair so much, I may finally be able to indulge a little curiosity of mine."
"He what?"
"I've always been interested in what Lorelai sees when she beds her champion. I mean, Alistair is handsome and all, but you know, everything is different from that angle. Anders could satisfy that little question quite easily."
Sigrun clapped her hands to her ears in horror. "OK, first of all, eww! Second of all, eww for thinking of the Commander and the King together! Third, you are not using Anders just for...for...that!"
Leliana laughed. "Oh, I do so enjoy you Fereldans. I will give you this, Sigrun: I promise not to play games with your mage. I will be genuine with him, and that will lead us wherever it may. Is that agreeable to you?"
"Yes, yes! Just...ugh! Never talk about him, the Commander, or the King in that context ever again!"
"Surely you can't tell me you've never imagined it?"
"No! Why would I? It's so inappropriate!"
"Trust me, it's not so inappropriate when the pair of them are making a racket two tents over," Leliana assured her. "It's a wonder Morrigan didn't simply light their tent on fire for some peace and quiet."
Sigrun swallowed hard. "You know them differently than I do, so please, try to keep memories like that to yourself."
"If you'd like."
"Now, if you can do a little bit of editing for the poor, simple Fereldan...would you tell me about that time? About the Blight? About all of you?"
The bard blinked and mentally reminded herself to never underestimate Sigrun. "You wish to hear of the Blight?"
"I want to hear about your relationships. I want to hear about the Commander, and the King, and even Zevran." She stuck her tongue out in disgust briefly. "I need to understand how it works, how you all work, so that I'm not flailing about as I have been. I cannot lead them," she pointed out toward the palace, indicating the party she commanded, "when I don't know what I'm dealing with."
Leliana nodded, and gave Sigrun the first genuine smile the dwarf had seen from her. "I couldn't agree more. Where to begin?"
"Begin with the King."
"Of course. First of all, by the time I met them, it was crystal clear that Alistair would walk through fire if Lorelai told him to..."