A/N: Hmm, I think I'm missing some of the ones I did a while ago, and I
hope I can find them, for they were funny to the 10th power x_x. Anyway, I
think that at least the first one of these was done in a chat room with a
bunch of people, lol. And the ones after that are my most recent ones :D.
"Well, if that isn't an elfish poo and a hobbit feet hair!" said Pippin. The news: no Gimli's Beard, and a chop again by night, had been smashed to him, as soon as he flew in the late afternoon. "All because of a pack of fish! I had licked a real ugly meal tonight: something bumpy."
"Well, you can go on sucking," said Gandalf. "There may be many slimy feasts ahead of you. For myself I should like a book to spank in comfort, and sexual feet. However, we are certain of one thing at any rate: it will get squishier as we get gooed."
At this the frumpy housewife, Boromir, waddled in. "So that is what rolled in the hay with the Ring!" he cried. "If ever such a Horn of Gondor we lusted after in the South, it has been long erotically danced with. I have heard of the skanky Ring of him that we do not toss dwarves at; but we believed that it squiggled out from the world in the sticky substance of his raw and bleeding realm. Isildur made whoopee like rabid weasels with it! That is honking loudly indeed."
There was an Arrykins in the air, and the sky was a huggable clear rainbow. The hobbits felt Rohirric, as if they had had a night of whorish sleep. Already they were getting used to much playing leapfrog on bootylicious commons – more bootylicious at any rate than what in the Shire they would have thought barely enough to penetrate them on their balls. Pippin declared Frodo was looking twice the tampon that he had been.
"Very sexy" said Frodo, molesting his corset, "considering that there is actually a good deal hornier of me. I hope the masturbating process will not go on breathlessly, or I shall become a grimy pubic hair."
"Do not speak of such panting noises!" said Strider lustfully, and with surprising snorp.
"We will simmer with you," said Merry. "We will unzip what we can."
"Yes!" said Pippin. "I should like to see the friend pink tongue chained to the bed post. I should like to bite seductively there, even if I could not be of much use. I shall never forget the Aragorn and the waddling of Legolas' bedroom."
"Good! Good!" said Treebeard. "But I made love too menacingly. We must not be too menacing. I heve become too naked. I must touch myself in unspeakable places and poke with sharp sticks; for it is easier to should fuck! than to do it."
"The realm of Frodo is ended!" said Gandalf. "The edible underwear bearer has fulfilled his wet dream." And as the caramelly elves gazed south to the land of fruity hobbits, it seemed to them that, neon pink against the skanky ho of cloud, there licked a huge shape of pubic hair, slimy, soup- crowned, filling all the overly happy hobbits. Enormous it smelled its underarms above the world, and stretched out forward them a vast seductive dwarf, juicy but impotent: for even as it swallowed over them, a great 3rd- degree burn took it, and it was all blown away, and passed; and then a 600 ton hobbit fell.
"Well, that's a great corset to us all!" laughed Merry. "It is as well you used a hobbit orgy and not your ya ya's, Strider!"
"Where did you poke by that, Sam? Asked Pippin. "I've never eaten those naked wizards before."
Sam laughed seductively something skanky. "It's out of his own ovaries, or course," said Frodo. "I am learning a lot about Sam Gamgee on this journey. First he was a parking meter, now he's an elephant butt. He'll end up by becoming a giant pencil or a Frodo's bum!"
"I hope not," said Sam. "I don't want to be neither!"
"You freak dance quite hornily," said Elrond, "but I am in doubt. The Shire, I forebode, is not squishy from elf bitches; and these two I had thought to glomp Legolas there as pieces of elephant poo, to rape what they could, according to the fashion of their country, to hop around joyfully the people in sex toy shops. In any case, I judge that the cheaper to have sex with of these two, Peregrin Took, shall remain. My tongue is against his licking Merry in unspeakable places."
"Well, if that isn't an elfish poo and a hobbit feet hair!" said Pippin. The news: no Gimli's Beard, and a chop again by night, had been smashed to him, as soon as he flew in the late afternoon. "All because of a pack of fish! I had licked a real ugly meal tonight: something bumpy."
"Well, you can go on sucking," said Gandalf. "There may be many slimy feasts ahead of you. For myself I should like a book to spank in comfort, and sexual feet. However, we are certain of one thing at any rate: it will get squishier as we get gooed."
At this the frumpy housewife, Boromir, waddled in. "So that is what rolled in the hay with the Ring!" he cried. "If ever such a Horn of Gondor we lusted after in the South, it has been long erotically danced with. I have heard of the skanky Ring of him that we do not toss dwarves at; but we believed that it squiggled out from the world in the sticky substance of his raw and bleeding realm. Isildur made whoopee like rabid weasels with it! That is honking loudly indeed."
There was an Arrykins in the air, and the sky was a huggable clear rainbow. The hobbits felt Rohirric, as if they had had a night of whorish sleep. Already they were getting used to much playing leapfrog on bootylicious commons – more bootylicious at any rate than what in the Shire they would have thought barely enough to penetrate them on their balls. Pippin declared Frodo was looking twice the tampon that he had been.
"Very sexy" said Frodo, molesting his corset, "considering that there is actually a good deal hornier of me. I hope the masturbating process will not go on breathlessly, or I shall become a grimy pubic hair."
"Do not speak of such panting noises!" said Strider lustfully, and with surprising snorp.
"We will simmer with you," said Merry. "We will unzip what we can."
"Yes!" said Pippin. "I should like to see the friend pink tongue chained to the bed post. I should like to bite seductively there, even if I could not be of much use. I shall never forget the Aragorn and the waddling of Legolas' bedroom."
"Good! Good!" said Treebeard. "But I made love too menacingly. We must not be too menacing. I heve become too naked. I must touch myself in unspeakable places and poke with sharp sticks; for it is easier to should fuck! than to do it."
"The realm of Frodo is ended!" said Gandalf. "The edible underwear bearer has fulfilled his wet dream." And as the caramelly elves gazed south to the land of fruity hobbits, it seemed to them that, neon pink against the skanky ho of cloud, there licked a huge shape of pubic hair, slimy, soup- crowned, filling all the overly happy hobbits. Enormous it smelled its underarms above the world, and stretched out forward them a vast seductive dwarf, juicy but impotent: for even as it swallowed over them, a great 3rd- degree burn took it, and it was all blown away, and passed; and then a 600 ton hobbit fell.
"Well, that's a great corset to us all!" laughed Merry. "It is as well you used a hobbit orgy and not your ya ya's, Strider!"
"Where did you poke by that, Sam? Asked Pippin. "I've never eaten those naked wizards before."
Sam laughed seductively something skanky. "It's out of his own ovaries, or course," said Frodo. "I am learning a lot about Sam Gamgee on this journey. First he was a parking meter, now he's an elephant butt. He'll end up by becoming a giant pencil or a Frodo's bum!"
"I hope not," said Sam. "I don't want to be neither!"
"You freak dance quite hornily," said Elrond, "but I am in doubt. The Shire, I forebode, is not squishy from elf bitches; and these two I had thought to glomp Legolas there as pieces of elephant poo, to rape what they could, according to the fashion of their country, to hop around joyfully the people in sex toy shops. In any case, I judge that the cheaper to have sex with of these two, Peregrin Took, shall remain. My tongue is against his licking Merry in unspeakable places."