Silver Bells

Upper Manhattan, 800 hours

Kowalski pressed his flippers against the glass window of a technology shop, hungrily gazing at a latest-edition laptop computer. Oh, the processing power of that masterpiece's motherboard… he could probably even hard-wire it to his latest version of the Kronotron and—

"Kowalski? What about this one?" Private's voice jolted Kowalski out of his own world of fantasy and back to the task at hand. He turned around and saw Private pointing to a new pair of binoculars in an outdoorsman's shop's window.

"His old ones still work fine. I'd estimate it wouldn't be 'wow' enough." Kowalski dramatically threw up his flippers. "Skipper needs something from us that's exceedingly impressive. After all, Rico somehow procured an army tank."

"I dunno, K'walski. I think he'd like anything we got him. Isn't it the thought that counts?" The littler penguin gave him an innocent smile.

Kowalski sighed. So naive… "Private, that's just a saying meaning someone was too lazy to put in any effort, so the other person therefore tries to be accepting so as not to offend, even though they, in actuality, hate the gift."

"Oh. That's… depressing."

"It is. C'mon, I believe there's a military-ish store on 32nd." The two penguins continued through the city, somehow remaining unnoticed by the few people out this early. Kowalski admired the holiday cheer; it was really starting to feel like Christmas now. Bells rang in all the churches around that part of town, chiming the hour, as music began to play in the streets.

City sidewalks, Busy sidewalks, Dressed in Holiday Style. In the Air, there's a Feeling of Christmas

"Well, that's a convenient song, isn't it?" he murmured. It was his favorite, however, so he didn't complain, lest the universe take away the happy coincidence. He ran a little ahead of Private, checking out another row of stores.

Children Laughing, People Passing, Meeting Smile after Smile

"There aren't many children laughing right now," Private remarked, catching up. "There's hardly anyone. It doesn't feel very Christmasy at all." Kowalski raised an eyebrow at the little penguin, wondering what was bugging him.

"What do you mean it doesn't feel Christmasy? There's snow all around, lights all around, we're even shopping for Christmas. By my calculations, that should be enough to invoke the feeling you call 'Christmasy'. Now what about this?" He pointed to an HD spy camcorder inside a shop for police equipment. "That baby's about five point two times better than our current surveillance gear."

Private sighed. "I dunno. It's good, I s'pose."

And on Every Street Corner You'll Hear,

Silver Bells, Silver Bells, It's Christmas Time in the City

"What's the matter?" Kowalski gave Private a concerned look. "It's a wonderful, snowy, bright morning."

"I don't want to get Skippah something commando. I want to give him a gift from the heart!" Private's eyes widened in a sorrowful look that was dangerously close to hypercute.

Kowalski frowned, then smiled again as an idea hit him. "C'mon, I think I know something that'll help."

Ring a Ling, Hear them Sing, Soon it will be Christmas Day

Kowalski took Private into an empty field of untouched snow. "We can take a break from the shopping. Snow penguins?"

Private smiled a little. "That does sound fun." The two penguins frolicked in the white glitter for a while, the bells still ringing in the distance.

Strings of Street Lights, Even Stop Lights, Blink a Bright Red and Green

The penguins began to make a snow castle, complete with tiny snow guards and a holly drawbridge. This improved Private's mood considerably.

"K'walski, what's your favorite part of Christmas?" he asked, forming his flippers around a snow turret.

As the Shoppers rush Home with their Treasures

"Well," Kowalski hesitated, "if I say 'opening presents' I'll look like a jerk, won't I?"

Private chuckled. "Not quite. I do love that too, myself."

Here the Snow Crunch, See the Kids Bunch, this is Santa's Big Scene

"Getting presents is fun, but I like giving them bettah. Making them, especially. Like yours." Private set a pinecone on top of the turret like a flag.

"Mine? What would that be?"

"Nice try! I'm not telling!"

"Very well, then, I'll figure it out on my own, using deductive reasoning skills." Kowalski gave a smug smile. Private crossed his flippers.

"Wha—you can't do that! It ruins the excitement!"

"Alright, alright." Kowalski stood up, surveying their castle. "What say we scrap the shopping and just walk around, then?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

Silver Bells, Silver Bells, It's Christmas Time in the City

Ring a Ling, Hear them Sing, Soon it will be Christmas Day

The two penguins walked around town for a while, Private seeming finally able to enjoy the decorations.

"I do love the bells," he said.

"So do I, Private," Kowalski agreed. "So do I."

Back in HQ, Private and Kowalski were hiding in the lab, wrapping Skipper's presents.

"I hope he likes this picture frame," Private said, holding up a picture of the four of them wearing Santa hats surrounded by a frame of silver glitter and macaroni snowflakes.

"He'll love it," Kowalski assured. "It's eight-three percent perfect, and given the twenty-percent boost the excitement of opening gives any Christmas present, you're good."

"Yay!" Private put the picture in a box. "What did you make?"

"An automated coffee stirrer!" Kowalski pulled a contraption out of nowhere with many levers and a spoon at the end. "It doesn't really have a name yet, but I'm thinking—" Kowalski pressed a button to start it up and ended up covered in soot and coughing.

Private blinked. "I know what I said before," he remarked, "but maybe you're bettah off with bought gifts."