A/N : Sorry everyone for not updating for so long ...I'm in a transitional period right now but thank you all for the reviews and because you all have been so loyal "I'M FINALLY GIVING YOU MORE CHAPTERS!!! Lol I know long over do, also i'm going to revise this story it has come to my attention that with my change of moods, my story has suffered greatly and for that I am truly sorry I know it has been kind of confusing for you all.
"I think I might be able to get use to this" Kagome thought as she walked beside Shesshomaru to the dining hall everything seemed to be going good, maybe to good ...maybe it was all a fascade much like her current comapanion with his constant change of face, one moment he was her beloved child hood friend and the next he is this frozen shell of the man of whom she once knew, not to mention her conflicting feelings for the young say it was frustrating was an understatement and while she was thrilled he was his noramal self around her (or what she hoped was his normal self) around others he was cold and somewhat indifferent to all things excluding her. Even in public when around her he was somewhat distant and had a dull lifelessness about his eyes that worried her, if only he could open up to others aside from herself, she trully belived he would be so much more content with his state of being. Even now she could sense a void of sorts within him something she knew he refused to admit to even himself, something only the love and acceptence of the ones he holds dear could fill and if he continued with the path he was on currently she feared that void would grow larger and larger untill it consumed his being as a whole. "I will save you yet Sesshomaru, even if you dont think you need rescuing "
Kagome thought as she looked up at him with a love that showed her eyes, squeezing his forearm tighter for reasurence which unbeknowest to her did in fact hold some type of unconsious pull on his heart as he felt his shoulders slacken a little with the knowlage that she wanted him in some way, that on some level she still loved him and the hope that that love might one day morph in to something stronger,something more passionate,something more intamate then her current feelings for his person. "I will gain your love and devosion yet koi and when I do there will be know escape"
Sesshomaru thought as they walked closer and closer to there destination.
Sesshomaru ushered Kagome threw the threshold of the dinning hall and pulled out her seat while thinking on how blessed he would be when she finaly accepted him in whole and became his for eternity. He knew that she was starting to ome around and it was only a matter of time before she was his and the thought of her carring his pup consumed him as the sevant brought forth the food that would soon provide his intended with the nessicary nutrition to remain healthy and soon his pup as well. He looked over her perfectly flawed face...He could see every pore every crease but instead of distorting the sense of beautyhe saw in her it only served to further his conclusion. Unlike most of his kind she was not perfect she was breathtakingly imperfect she was everything that his kind was not everything that was natural and inocent everything he wanted. It was upon his analyous of her that he felt something in him shift, He felt as though something with in him snapped and he felt it then and with this new information his instincts kicked in to high gear as he quickly stood infront of his intended. KAgome whatched on as if he were a mad man and could all but stare at his sudden change of mood.
As she walked down the hall Sayuri could feel something was not right, as if something terrible was about to happen to ruin the peace and tranquil state the whole castle was in...and then she felt it, an aura she had not felt scince birth and she knew with the coming of this particualar being came bad news for all exspecially when it concerned the much loved Kagome.
"Kasumi" was all Sayuri was able to get out before dashing in to the the Dinning room to warn the others of the lady of the west arrival and the news her presents would surely bring. sayuri burst threw the doors of the normally quiet dinning area with a force she knew not that she possesed but as she passed the threshold Sesshomaru was already standing with his cold fasade well in place as he looked at Sayuri once more as if to confirm his own sences as if he could not quite fathom it's existance was possible but the wide frightened gaze of his yongest sibling said what her words could not and at that time he turned to the west wing entrace to find the presence of the one whom caused the comotion and only one word escaped his now slightly strained mouth.
"Mother"
Kagome not knowing what the others so ovbiously did could only stare on in pure bewilderment as a woman of unimaginable beauty steped threw the doors of the dinning was wearing a white almost transparant lookinging gown with small layers that seemed to float as she walked as if she herself was gliding threw the hall instead of walking, the garment she wore matched her very light blond if not wite hair and equally pale complection but unlike most beings she had come across in this relm this woman had no fangs no adorable puppy ears and know distinguished fur or fur like tail of any kind,the only inhuman trait the woman vissibly showed was her small but pointed ears that Kagome caught sight of do to the errie breeze that passed threw the hall the moment the woman steped threw the opisite threshold to the dinning hall as her dear friend sat unbelivably still as if in a trance she could only sit and gaze on as the womans colorfully bright green eyes looked at her with a stare that froze her cold, it was as if she was looking at her or more so threw her, strait to her very soul it was a feeling unlike any she had ever expirenced and nothing she could quite describe.
Meanwhile the hall stayed compleatly quiet untill a voice that sounded more like music then words spoke unto one of the ocupants of the dinning hall. "Hello Son of mine you seemed to have faired well in my absents" at that Kagome finally understood, this was Sesshomaru's mother ,this was some sort of angel and suddenly felt very incompetant in comparison to the woman (if you could call her such) that stood before her now and chose to keep quiet and hope to fade in to the back round which was posing as an imposible feat to acomplish because though she was speeking to her son the woman was still staring at her as if she were trying to find something or asses her as a whole , whatever the case it was making Kagome think back on her desicion to stay content here with Sesshomaru..she suddenly felt less then worthy of him but soon put all thought to cease as she her him speak.
"Mother you come after all this time after all the attempts I have made to retrieve you, Why?"
"I see you have not changed much son, still as impatiant as ever and.." she was soon cut off by said son with the only emotion he had ever shown in public to anyone aside from Kagome...hurt "You would not have known I have not seen nor heard of you in decades"
"Well I see you have made a poor atempt to replace my presents"
She spoke these words to her son with a calm unknown to any other then her son himself while still looking upon the woman named Kagome. In all actuallity it was all he knew of his mother since she took her leave from the castle of the west ...she was not cold nor was she malice in anyway ...simply calm and indiffrent to all including her own son, there were countless times in which said son would try to call unto her and as she was not ment for this plane but for a diffrent destiny altogether she used her many of years of emotional supression to stop herself from felling the pain it had cost her to leave him and to not return but knew it was not his fate to know her as anything more then what he does in this instance and as a result never answered said calls to her very soul.
She knew it was never her fate to be with his father for eternity as she once had hoped, still it didn't stop the sting nor the ach she felt when she descovered that her feelings were indeed one sided and after the death of his human wife she knew that there was not a place for her in his heart and never would be, it was only the will of the kami's that she was able to step on to this plane and only for her to birth her son, it was also descided that she was never ment to stay. Even after all these years she felt the longing to know her son but abided by the Kami's wishes knowing it was for the best and all in the spirit of giving her son the life and destiny he was ment to have as lord and king of the western relm, it was never to hard as she would spend countless nights viewing her son in the magical waters of old ...she whatched him grow up from afar and hoped that one day her son would understand and realise that whenever he was upset or meloncoly she was there with him in spirit as that was all the kami's would allow of her. She was content with this knowlage for some time, that she was with her son on some level untill the girl that sat before her came in to his life.
She knew instantly at the couple's first meeting that the girl would steal her sons heart and the pain of loosing her first and only love to a human reserfaced ten fold, a human stole her love and now a mer human would steal her only child as well, the water of old only worked if said person thought of you in some way and though her son did think of her from time to time the presence of the mortal girl left those times few and fleeting and she was able to view her son less and less it was then that she took action and spoke with the council about the child named Kagome before Sesshomaru father could place his input about the matter and as she had suspected they all voted in her favor. She knew it hurt her son but the thought of loosing him became so unberrible that she rather console him and comfort him in a way she had always in past then bare the perminent seperation from her only child.
The Kami's were not pleased in the least insisting that the young woman played a very important role in her son's destiny but the concept was never easy for her to except that this mortal child would be more important to his growth and being then she , his mother,his Angle, and for a little while his consort of all things of his tiny heart, she could not grasp the thought of this young woman being her sons salvation instead of her, the being whom bore him and it was because of this that the kami's gave up on her and she now was classified as a fallen, an angel whom had let nomaly pure emotions of their heart, become corrupted, exploited to such a degree that there souls become tainted as well and thus they fall to the plane in which had corrupted them in the first place forever to roam that plane with a consuming restless soul as they were not born of that plan and thus not ment to spend eternity there.
It was for this reason that she stayed away from her son realizing her mistake and hoping to atone for it by abiding by the kami's first wishes and staying seperate from her beloved only child hoping for the kami's forgivness but alas she had been not so fortunate as her only comapnions were the spirits of those whom had already passed and where now going unto the plane she herself was ment to be in...The path she has walked for decades now was inded a lonley one she knew far to well. No matter how pure her intentions were towards her son she relized nowthey were all in vain.
All she had ever wanted was to know him and to love him openly and she hated them all for it, for turning away from her, for forgetting her and being so unapritaitive of her sacrifice and pain...her loss was so unbareable and she refused to feel it alone any longer.
Now the opertunity for revenge was at hand as she felt the pressence of a powerful miko whom could only be the same child whom casted her in this hell of her own making and soon she would exact her revenge for the grief she was forced to endure alone for so many years, upon the ones whom caused it. She looked upon the woman who has so captivated her son in to his now state of peace and in that moment she felt an emotion for her son she had never felt...she felt envy for as she was force to walk alone for eternity in the relm of onse onwn hell, he sat content and at peace with his beloved by his side.
"A human is to replace me son?...a human is to mend you spirit as I was unable to in times past?...have you compleatly forgoten me my son?...is there no room for me left in your heart? Am I to late and alas you are forced to turn to a creature such as a mortal woman for solance?"
"Mother you know not of which you speak...you have not been in my heart for some time now and I do belive you have knowlage of this" His words spoken so sternly to his mother that Kagme could only flinch in reaction to them, she looked to to Kasumi and noticed a clear tear drop glide down the womans seemingly soft and pale cheek. It was to much to bare as Kagome felt an overwhelming emotion of greif and pain roll off of the woman in waves. Kagome turned to Sesshomaru with confusing eyes in days past she thought that she grew to truly know him better then anyone, she felt she knew him as he never let anyone know him and could have never imagined him saying such words of hate towards his mother. At this she then turned back to said woman with eyes of sorrow and spoke only one sentence to the woman before taking her leave to her room.
"I am sorry"
At this Sesshomaru turned to his intended with eyes full of regret but not for the words he had spoken to his mother but for the emence sarrow that he had caused his intended, even as his cold words were not directly spoken to her he could feel the pain she felt, pain she felt for his mother and in that instance he found himself on the boarder of loosing his much renowned to his mother with acussing eyes he spoke.
"You have no right here as lord of the west in substatution of my father I do not wish for your audience any longer you would be wise to leave before I am force to remove your pressence from my mannor"
It was as she expected he had was well beyond her reach now,she was much to late and now as she looked upon her very much grown son her heart shattered and she swore she would make him pay for all the pain he caused her for not reciprecating her love for him and a plan was formulating in her mind. She could not kill him as he was her son and as much as it painned her to know all her efforts to know hin were in vain she still indeed loved him and probbably always would that and the fact that even at his current level (Which was not his hight she noted) he was still morre then capable of distroying her physically and so she would distroy him emotionally as he had done to her. She looked her son in the eyes with a determination that scared the other ocupants of the hall and spoke the words that were the beginnings of his demise.
"Well if I am no longer welcomed in my own sons home I shall take my leave but first let me inform you of your father's death...."
Her quiet spoken words bounced off the walls of the entire hall as an imaginary echo replayed it's self in Sayuri's mind..."Father is dead" she thought as she looked up at a seemingly emotionless Sesshomaru for support, guidence something anything other then what he was currently doing. Starring down his mother in what she hoped was shock or overwhelming disbelief but as she moved towards him she saw....nothng he remained as he always had, emotionless,indifferent. She was startled by a week sounding yelp and looked around the room to find where the sound came from only to relize it was she whom had made it...she was crying and at this desided to take her leave to greive in the privacy of her own room...and as she walked she could feel the mocking laughter of kasumi behind her and in that moment felt true anger at the fallen.
She saw the pain in her sons eyes that went unoticed by others, She heard the cries of the female halfbreed her late mate had produced and felt the anger of both her son and the servants of her late mates mannor .
"You seem suprised son...should you not be happy, you are the true and now only lord of this relm..."
"And how do I know you are not deciving me?"
"Do you smell deseat?"
"You will leave me now!"
"I see you raise your voice after all... I found your father fatally wounded on the outskirts of the southern region you should be happy to know that he defeated his enamy before passing and wishes you the best of unions with this Kagome child. Do you trully intend to mate the child, does she not wish to go back to her own kind?" At this she saw her son flinch and instantly knew she hit a sore spot for him.
"My intentions with Kagome is none of you concern now leave."He said as he turned from his mother done with her all together.
"Fine I shall leave but remeber son she is human, mortals are such fragile creatures if I were you I would keep a close eye on her you wouldnt anything happening to such a pittifully weak creature."
"Is that a threat?.." But as he turned around she had gone leaving only her last words to replay in his thoughts.