Chapter Eleven: The First Review
Deep breath.
Straight breathing, none of this huffing stuff.
Breathe in, breathe out.
No, not simultaneously.
First one, then the other.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Control the anxiety; it won't do any good.
Channel that nervousness into something productive.
Stop twitching.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
"Alright," said Erik, after a few more moments of this, "I'm ready to read it now."
Lonny stared at him.
"Its just a review," she said. "No biggie."
Erik breathed in again, jerkily. "Just— read it to me. No, let me read it. No, read it to me."
Lonny sighed. "Are you going to do this every time you get a review? Because frankly, its exhausting."
Erik steeled himself and nodded shortly. "Read it to me."
Lonny quirked an eyebrow at him.
"Sure?"
He nodded.
She opened her mouth.
"No no, no, let me read it."
She stood up, gestured him towards the chair, and marched into the bathroom, slamming the door.
Left alone with the computer, Erik circled it warily a few times, before lunging at the seat and leaning forward into the screen, his eyes devouring every word he found there.
There weren't very many.
The review said, simply, this:
"Hey PhantomsGirl, what up? THis rawks. Update soon plez!"
He blinked at it a few times.
Then he called, tentatively, "Lonny—"
"Yeah?" she said from the bathroom.
"This review appears to have been written in some sort of code. I can't read it."
"What's it say?"
"I— don't know."
"Who's it from? It says on the page."
"EriktehHawt2005," said Erik, dubiously.
"Oh, yeah, I know her. She reviews practically everything I write."
"But— there's a reference in here, Lonny, to PhantomsGirl. Who is this PhantomsGirl?"
She opened the door and stood in the doorway, her small, thick body looking sad and awkward as she leaned against the wall.
"That's me," she said quietly.
Erik turned around and looked at her.
She looked back.
"You are not my girl," said Erik.
Lonny gave a sad half-smile, and moved forward into the room.
"I know that, Erik. Its just the name I chose for my fanfiction account."
He turned back to the screen and stared silently at the words. She ventured closer.
"Erik? Its just— just for fun. Its not real, and nobody thinks I'm really your girl."
Still he said nothing, and his breath was slow and ragged.
"Do you want me to change it?" she said quietly.
"Please," said Erik, though the word sounded as though it were torn from him.
She sighed deeply and motioned him out of the chair, then slid in after him, her spine tingling at the warmth he left behind. Overly conscious of his presence just at her left elbow, she swallowed hard and typed slowly and deliberately.
"What should I become, then?"
"Can you not use your name?"
"Lonny is a horribly boring thing to be called. I'd rather not."
"Then call yourself what you are."
"Oh yeah?" She sounded mildly amused, and swung to face him. "And what is that?"
His face—
—was right—
—there.
He did not speak, but she looked at him and read volumes in his eyes.
Lonny the Strange.
Lonny Herself.
Lonny the Young Woman.
Lonny the Blessed.
Lonny the Kind, the Compassionate, the Beginning-To-Be-Wise.
She turned back to the screen, feeling slightly hysterical tears pricking behind her eyeballs, and typed—
Erik's Savior.
He sighed heavily, but did not contradict her.
And life went on from there.