A/N Wow, I haven't updated in a long time. Sorry about that. The thing is that I got sick recently, and then I had other stuff to worry about and… I just kinda fell out of the rhythm of doing this. But! I'm back! And I don't care how long this'll take or how many times I'll be late, I want to finish this. So don't worry too much about it. Let's just hope I haven't gotten rusty at writing in the meanwhile.

A tall monster slowly begins to approach your table

Sans let's out a yawn and sinks deeper into the couch to the point that he's almost lying down. "Whatcha wanna get?"

It takes you to realise a problem "I have no money."

"Neither do I" Sans replies "but I'll do you a favor and just put it on my tab."

"Thanks, so what's on the menu?"

"Food."

"Nothing more specific than that?"

"Nope"

You roll your eyes "What are you having, then?"

"Same as you"

"Flowey, what do they serve?"

"You just asked Sans?"

"Yeah, but he won't answer."

"Can I take your order?" A tall monster seemingly made of purple fire is standing in front of your table impatiently. Judging from the dark flames he seems to be made of, you assume this is "Grillby".

"Know what? Just bring me anything edible, like fries or something. As long it isn't made of eyeballs or aids or anything weird like that."

He writes something down on a noteblock before looking back up at you "No toppings, then?"

"Ketchup, maybe?"

His gaze remains locked on yours "We have that."

"I'll have the same as the kid, though ketchup is probably out of my price range."

Grillby chuckles "Right about that, guess you'll have to settle for the usual then."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Sans say and somehow sinks even deeper into the sofa.

Without another word, Grillby turns and heads for the counter.

"Sans if you can't even afford ketchup, how do you plan to pay for my stuff?"

"Yeah." He takes a deep breath "I lied, you're on your own."

"That's truly selfless of you."

A bit annoyed, you begin to wonder how you're going pay. Or even just what to pay with. "Flowey, what's the currency down here?"

"We use bills and coins, just like on the surface. The specific currency is called Gold, or just G for short."

"How do you know what money humans use on the surface? Have you been there?"

"There's a huge waterfall leading from the surface to underground, a lot of garbage including books, movies, games and so on falls down here. Of course, we've also had a few humans come by before you."

The obvious answer makes you feel a bit silly."I guess that makes sense. Just out of curiousity, are monsters taught about humans in school?"

"A little, though most of it's self defense and how to act in case you spot a human."

You aren't really surprised, though still a bit disappointed "That's all?"

"Nothing about culture, if that's what you're asking for. All of it's pretty dark, like how to utilize human remains and stuff like that. That reminds me, I should probably tell you-"

A heavy "clunk" cuts Flowey off mid sentence. Grillby returns with a large plate of fries. And it appears to be without human or monster remains at that, what a luxury. The side of the plate is covered in what you can pretty confidently can say is mustard, presumably for Sans. Grillby then turns to you and hands you a small cup. "It's hard to come, be careful with it."

"What's the deal with ketchup down here? Is it really that rare?" You reach for a fry and dip it in the cup, it's surprisingly liquidy.

"Don't know where you're from, but it doesn't exactly grow on trees."

"I guess tomato plants are more of a bush, but still."

Grillby suddenly begins to laugh, the flames in his face flickering roughly "My bad." He says

"What?" Taking a bite of the fry, you realise it doesn't taste quite like ketchup is supposed to.

"That's what I meant to tell you." Flowey speaks up "In this area, ketchup is slang for human blood. That's what you're eating."

You place the cup down and push it back towards Grillby. "You just keep that"

Sans too begins chuckling.

"You knew this all along didn't you, Sans?"

"Yeah, I had hoped for a more intense reaction though."

"Man, you're seriously in need of a therapist."

Sans finally managed to pull himself up enough to sit up right."Whatever, you say."

Other than the fact that you just ate a fry covered in blood, the whole scene feels unusually nice. Laughter's been rare since you came down here, it's good to see the monsters cheerful for once. But of course, moments like this can't last forever. Flowey is the one to break it and almost yell at you "Duck beneath the table, quickly."

At this point you've learned that Flowey know these situations well, without questioning it you slide below and waited in an awkward and uncomfortable position. It's only a matter of seconds before the door is thrown open. You can't see see much from your current position, but you can only assume it's a member of the royal guard or someone equally as dangerous.

"Sans, what do you think we're getting getting paid for?"

"Not this."

"Then what are you doing? We're supposed to be hunting for a human!"

So it is a royal guard, the brother Sans mentioned perhaps?

"Sorry I'm busy at the moment."

"Busy? Sans! You're eating lunch with flower!

"I'll come play royal guard with you later, just get back to your cardboard station before someone else catches sight of a human before you."

"I can't guard the whole forest alone!"

"That's what the dogs are for."

"They're incompetent!"

"No they're not."

The mysterious figure starts stomping further into the bar, giving you a better look at him. (or at least at his legs) Judging by the literally bony figure, he must indeed be that brother of sans'.

"Fine, Sans. I'll prove it to you!"

You hear a loud noise and see a familiar white dog glide along the floor. "Prove your worth, go find me human pup!"

Your heart skips a beat as you hear this. A fearful feeling washes over you as the dog stands back up and begins walking towards you. Without any better idea you reach for a fry on the floor and throw it in the opposite direction, "please work" you whisper to yourself. Indeed the dog chases after the fry and leaves you be.

"WHAT?!" Sans' brother's voice gets even louder than it already was. "Sans, you're not supposed to feed the guard when he's supposed to find me a human!"

Sans simply remains quiet.

"Whatever! One day, I'll capture a human. With or without your help!" From what you can make out, the skeleton then stomps back to the door.

"Safe travels, Papyrus."

So that's his name, Papyrus. He doesn't seem to respond. With a grunt, he walks out the door and leaves the whole place in in silence. As always, Flowey's the one to kick life back in the conversation "That was little close, but I think you can come out now."

You start crawling back up, trying not to hit head on the table. "I think we better get going Flowey." You manage to muster out.

"Yeah, that'd probably good idea. What about the bill though?"

"Don't worry about that" Grillby breaks in "Sans will pay for you."

"No I won't"

"Yes you will. You probably even told them you would, didn't you?"

Sans does end paying, despite his protest. From here, it's not long before you finally dry up, you dare to go back outside. You make sure to thank Grillby, and apologize for the pot before leaving. Flowey certainly seems to appreciate back in the ground and he assures you that it won't be long before you reach somewhere with more inhabitable climate. Excitement begins to fill you as you start wondering what lies next.