To my readers: Sincerest apologies! I've been editing stories like crazy because of break and writing just fell behind. For those who are fans of Avatar: the Last Airbender please visit the Aang-ain't-white site (the address is in my profile, somewhere in the bold-faced paragraphs at the bottom of the page). I was furious when I found the casting. One word: Orientalism.

Anyways, back on track. Yea, I've been hit with the deadly disease that has crippled countless writers: Writer's Block. I'm trying to get over it but school's starting soon. I've lost my muse and all my 'editors' while my friends were visited by their muses. Work is hectic so updates are going to be iffy. I WILL finish this story if it's the last thing I do. I can see light...the end is near, hopefully. One last word: REVIEW!

Chapter 10

I left.

All the trees and grass and green...things were confusing me. I wanted someplace I could sit and think and just be. I packed an overnight bag and headed toward Seattle. Teresa swallowed some lie about a three day Chef's Convention. Currently, I'm gazing out the window from my Holiday Inn room. It's no Hilton, but it'll do. I just sent a text to Kim telling them I was in Seattle for a few days.

The first couple miles were the hardest. My heart dropped with each pothole and I glanced at my rear-view mirror every second. Whether in hope of seeing Seth's silhouette appear or fear of seeing his…other form, I wasn't sure. But once I started seeing buildings higher than two stories, it's like a weight have been lifted.

I KNOW the city. It's NORMAL. Sure, there are criminals but these were NORMAL criminals, not some nine feet legendary wolf. The room suddenly didn't feel as inviting anymore. I need to get out of here. Making sure I grabbed my room key, I headed out and started walking. People passed me, people talked, people yelled, laughed, shouted, giggled, whispered….ah! Humanity!

Spying a Tully's, I crossed the street; I've been in the Coffee State for a few months yet I still haven't tried a Tully's. There were two people ahead of me, giving me ample time to choose. After ordering my calorie and caffeine laden drink and high-carb muffin, I settled in the outdoor area.

The wonders that a hot cup of Joe and a blueberry muffin will do; I felt like my old self again. The half-eaten muffin sat forlornly against the paper bag. Seth would have finished it for me. My lips curled into a small smile as I imagined him sticking the whole muffin into his mouth; after he tried to make me eat it, of course.

"A sweet smile. Must be a loved one then."

Glancing up, I saw a tall man in fitted, but worn denim and a wool blazer over a crisp button-up. His hair was a dark auburn and reached his chin. His Fendi sunglasses obscured his eyes.

"May I join you?"

I nodded and he eased himself into another chair, placing a large cup of coffee in front of him. He took off his glasses to reveal brilliant blue eyes, the blue of summer skies.

"So, if I may ask. What thoughts brought such a sweet smile upon those lips?" he smiled as he asked. He had a nice easy smile; a boy-next-door smile. I felt compelled to answer him; you can't be rude to such a nice guy.

"Boyfriend and his gluttony for food," I told him.

"Ah, where is this boyfriend you speak of? If I had such a beautiful lady by my side, I wouldn't let her out of my sight."

"I…left…for a few days to myself," I told the charming stranger. A dark eyebrow arched, detecting my half-truth. "There were some…problems," I shrugged.

"Is he dealing in drugs?" he asked darkly, the smile completely gone from his face.

"God, no!" I hurried to answer. "Seth would never touch drugs. No, he just sprung something on me. I just needed time to…accept it."

"Does he have a wife and kids? Is he homosexual?"

I stared at him, the absurd questions registering in my mind a second before I burst out laughing. A satisfied smile formed on his face. "Oh wow; Seth and kids? He's a big kid himself. But thank you for the amusing image. And no, Seth is many things but gay isn't one of them. Who are you anyways?"

"Stephen," he replied.

"Magdalene," I held out my hand to shake. His own pale digits wrapped around mine before he lowered his head to kiss the back of my hand. "Old fashion, much?"

Stephen shrugged. "My father brought me up a gentleman."

I never really knew the definition of gentlemen. I mean you can have a guy who opens the doors for you and pulls out your chair but if he's a jerk… On the other hand you can have a guy who's clueless about those things but his coffee eyes constantly look out for your well-being; making sure you never go hungry; making sure you're safe, dry and warm. Isn't that a gentleman?

"You miss him," Stephen said quietly.

I stared at my muffin. "Yea. I do. Took me this long to figure it out, but I really do."

"You love him?"

"I love him."

Wait.

I look up, startled at my unconscious response. "I…love him." I do. I love Seth Clearwater. No matter how confused, how freaked out I am; I love him. I still love him. It shouldn't matter then, him turning furry once in a while. He's still Seth, still over protective, still food-obsessed. Epiphany, you gotta love them. "I think I need to go," I told Stephen apologetically. "I forgot I have something really important to do."

Stephen stood up with me as I grabbed my garbage and my bag. "It was nice meeting you then, Magdalene."

"You too, Stephen," I smiled up at him. Standing on tip-toe, I kissed his cheek; he was smooth and cool to the touch. "Thank you," I told him sincerely before heading back to the motel as fast as my heels can take me.

I grabbed my overnight bag; damn good thing I was too lazy to unpack. The lady behind the desk was confused when I wanted to check out. I didn't care. I was a woman on a mission. Stashing my junk into the trunk, I headed back toward La Push.

I broke a few speeding laws and ran a few lights. I hope that old lady was ok. I made it past La Push borders just as the rains started. Great; I knew I shouldn't have worn suede. First stop: Emily's house.

My shoes are going to be so pissed, but I ran through the rain anyways until I could knock on the door. Leah answered. Crap.

"Hey, is Seth here?" I asked her hopefully.

"Kim said you were in Seattle," Leah said.

"Change of plans," I told her quickly. "Can you get Seth please? I really need to talk to him."

"You going to break his heart again?" Leah snorted. "Need to stick that sword in deeper since it didn't really go straight through?"

"Leah, I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry for Seth. I'm sorry I'm shallow. I'm sorry I'm an idiot. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. I'm sorry for the ozone layer. I'm sorry, ok? Can you just…please, tell me where Seth is so I can fix this?"

She stared at me for a moment. Measuring my worth, most likely. I was about to leave when she spoke.

"He's moping at home. The backdoor should be open."

I almost hugged her—almost. I settled for a grateful nod before running back through the rain to the car. I made it to Seth's house in record time. True to word, the backdoor was open. The only light came from the living room and I searched there first. Nothing. I headed toward his room upstairs. There was no light behind the doors, but I turned the knob to enter anyways.

"Go away," came his muffled voice. He faced the other wall, the blanket from his bed a pile on the floor. Again, his room was dark, only the light from the hallway cast a slight glow into Seth's room. Haltingly, I stepped closer. He still didn't turn over.

"Seth?" I can literally see his back tense but he still didn't acknowledge me. It hurt, but I deserved it. I would do anything he asks me for the rest of summer to fix this. I just needed to fix this. "Seth? Please," I step closer until I was almost standing above him; he still hasn't moved. I fucked up, big time. "I'm sorry I didn't take it as well as I should have. Can you please just look at me?"

There was a tense moment before he slowly turned to lie on his back. I could feel my throat tighten as I looked down at him. His mouth wasn't smiling, or frowning. In fact, it was in a strained, tight line. There were bags under his eyes. He looked worn and haggard as if he hasn't slept in several days. As if I couldn't feel any worse about myself; I'm a liar and a selfish girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry," I finally forced out. "I should have—I still don't know what I'm suppose to do when your boyfriend tells you he's a werewolf—but I know I should have done something. And I'm sorry I didn't." Seth didn't say anything. "Can you forgive me?"

He didn't answer. His eyes didn't give me anything either. I could have handled it if he blamed me, yelled at me, did something. That meant he still felt something.

Apathy was the worst thing.

My heart broke.

I don't even register anymore.

I was…nothing.