Chapter 11

The Search

The blonde alchemist sat in the cab on his way back to Central headquarters. The sky was starting to grow dark as early evening set in. He'd been to Roy's house, only to find it empty and devoid of any useful information. As he approached the main building, his thoughts went back to how Roy had handled the situation while they were in Drachma. The cab passed the pub the military men frequented and an idea lodged in his mind. Could Roy have gone somewhere to have a drink? Could he be sitting in a bar somewhere with the report? He'd decided to check the bar as soon as he exited the cab.

Ed paid the driver and ran across the street as soon as it cleared of traffic. He bounded into the smoky pub and quickly scanned it's contents. There were a few patrons, some in blue military garb enjoying themselves, but no sign of his Roy. Frustrated, Ed walked up to the bar to question the proprietor, "Excuse me, did a man come in here today with black hair in a Colonel's uniform?"

"Uh, yeah. He came in here this morning. He was pretty bad off. Kept ordering scotches until I had to quit serving him," he said absently as he cleaned a glass.

Ed's heart pounded as he realized Roy was repeating his behavior in Drachma. He anxiously asked a flurry of questions, "Where did he go? When did he leave? Did he say anything to you?"

The bartender stopped wiping the glass in his hand and looked directly at the distressed youth, "Jesus, kid. Hold on a minute…one, I don't know where he went. Two, he left a few hours ago. And three, no, he didn't say anything to me. Well, besides a few choice words at being cut off from his scotch. He had a folder with him, he kept looking at it and, well, he was pretty upset."

"Damn-it! You don't have any idea where he could have gone? Did you even see which direction he went in? Anything?" the timbre of Ed's voice got higher as he spoke, revealing his anxiety.

"All I know is he didn't pass by the windows out front, so I guess he must have taken a left when he went out the door. That's all I can tell you," the man said as he reached down to put the cleaned glass on a shelf under the bar.

Ed muttered a quick thanks and walked briskly out of the pub. He stood outside the doorway and looked in both directions, " where are you, Roy?" he asked himself as his frustration mounted. He turned to the left and started down the sidewalk, his eyes darting across every inch of the city landscape for any sign of his lover.

After a few blocks, Ed's frustration had turned to desperation. He could feel tears threatening him as he fought to hold himself together. A host of questions plagued him as he walked, why didn't Roy come to him? Why would Roy do this again? What if he couldn't find him? What if Roy left him and the military for good? He swiped at his eyes with his gloved hands, drying the wetness that had started to spill onto his cheeks.

He sniffled as another city block paced by under his feet. For some odd reason he was drawn to the alley up ahead. He peered into it and noticed a shadow that had the shape of boots behind a large garbage container. His heart skipped as he sped in the direction of the shadow. As he got closer the shadow came in view, it was indeed boots. His heart raced as he neared his target and turned to see Roy Mustang sitting with his back against the brick building, his legs straightened in front of him. The offending folder was in his lap and Roy's head was bowed forward.

Ed quickly knelt down beside his broken lover and wrapped his arms around him. "Roy, you scared the hell out of me," he scolded, his voice faltered.

"Ed?" Roy asked as he woke from his drunken slumber. When he realized it was indeed his lover who held him and not a dream, he abruptly pulled him close and pushed his face into the crook of Ed's neck. "Thank God you found me, I need you," he admitted willingly as tears entered his eyes once again. He sat forward, bent his legs and pulled them sideways, while he increased his grip on the blonde. He let his emotions take control. His shoulders shook with the force of the sobs escaping his throat. He allowed, for the first time in his life, someone else to witness the full power of his pain.

Ed was surprised by the intensity of Roy's breakdown. It scared him a little, but then he realized how important it was. Roy was finally letting him in, all the way in. He did his best to deserve the intimacy Roy offered him, "Ssh, Roy, it's okay now. I'm here," he whispered gently. He stroked the back of his lover's silky hair and silently let him release the agony he'd held in all these years. After a few minutes, Roy quieted. "Let me take you home," the blonde requested. Ed tried to pull away from the elder man only to be drawn back into him by strong arms.

"Just another minute, please Ed," Roy implored. He wasn't sure he was ready to actually go back out in public and having Ed in his arms was exactly what he needed. He lost himself in Ed's embrace, for now the only thing in the world important to him was that Ed had searched him out and by some miracle was here with him. Roy was not alone this time and he realized there was no reason for him to be alone with his misery. Not when he had someone so caring and understanding to turn to. Ed had, after all, proven himself again and again to be unfaltering in his devotion to him. After he was able, Roy let his hold on Ed loosen and he dared a glance into the amber eyes he so loved. "How did you find me?" he asked curiously.

"Well, I guess it was all coincidence really. But, I would have scoured every inch of this damned city until I found you, no matter what," Ed replied determinedly.

"Ed, you have no idea how much it means to me," Roy told him as he pulled him close once again for a quick hug.

"Why didn't you just come to me?" Ed asked as he pulled away again to see his lover's face. Ed placed his flesh palm against Roy's cheek and saw his lover's gaze lower.

"Because I was…afraid, or something. I wasn't sure you'd understand or I wasn't sure exactly how I'd react to the report. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you again. So I think originally, I wanted to protect you from myself. But as it turned out, I did want you, terribly. This time I realized I needed you more than anything, but then I didn't know how to find you without making a scene…I did remember what you said, that you'd be my reason for living if this ever happened to me again. And you know what? You were, even though you weren't here with me. " Roy attempted to put in words exactly what drove him to take the actions he'd taken. He wanted Ed to know precisely how much he was desired and loved. He felt Ed's hand pull against his chin, raising his face. Then Ed's lips descended on his own and crushed them with a tender kiss.

Ed felt his heart pounding and butterflies filled his stomach as he processed Roy's words. Tears stung his eyes as he pushed his lips against his lover's. "I love you so much…please let me take you home now," Ed reiterated shakily. All he wanted at the moment was to get Roy to a place where he could really show how he felt about him without fear of prying eyes. He wanted to take care of him and then some.

Roy let Edward help him stand and allowed the blonde to guide him back to the street. Ed held onto Roy's elbow with one arm and grasped the folder with the other. Roy watched in awe as Ed took total control of the situation, hailed a cab, and assisted Roy into the back seat. Roy gazed at his lover seated next to him in adoration and noted how he lovingly looked back at him. Through his still drunken haze his emotions swarmed, it was all he could muster to keep his hands and lips to himself. He did allow his one hand to wander over to grasp Ed's tightly on the seat between them. The simple connection would have to suffice until they were alone. He felt a fleeting panic as he realized how much he depended on the young alchemist. It was a strange feeling for the normally formidable Colonel, to surrender to the young man the way he had. If it weren't for Edward coming into his life during this trial, he wondered seriously if he'd really still be alive, if he'd even want to.

They approached Roy's house and Ed paid the driver before helping Roy out and up to the small home. Ed held out his hand and Roy passed him the keys. Ed unlocked and opened the door, then flicked on the overhead light. As soon as Ed illuminated the room, he was surrounded by Roy's arms. He turned into a passionate kiss and reached around his lover to return the affection. Ed felt Roy pull away from him and rest his forehead on his own. His body swayed slightly as Roy turned them gently to and fro.

"Ed, I…really don't know how to thank you properly…for sticking by me…through all of this…I know you didn't have to," Roy started. He felt compelled for some reason to continue spilling everything he felt to his lover.

"You don't have to thank me, I'll always be here for you." Ed replied. His heart ached; the emotion between them had grown intensely intimate again. He felt tears invading his eyes as he thought back to the things Roy had told him before getting in the cab. No one had ever made him feel this way or opened up to him like this before. He wasn't sure how much more he could handle without crying openly.

"No, Ed, you don't understand. I have to tell you everything; I have to make you see how I really feel. I can't stand being away from you, not even for a second. I think I've always felt this way about you, not just since our trip. I act like its no big deal to me, but that's not true. I'm just scared maybe, scared that you'll see the real me, with all it's faults, and won't like it. But you have seen the real me, and you didn't run away, you came back, more than once. You are the reason I'm still here, still alive. All I want is to hold you, to feel you next to me when I wake up, to know that you'll always be there, not judging, just there no matter what I do. I can give you what I can't give any other," Roy declared, it felt good to get his feelings out in the open, to explain to Ed and to himself exactly why he behaved the way he had and how deep his feelings for Ed really were. He'd stopped because Ed was no longer looking at him; instead his lover's gaze was focused on the floor to the side of them. He heard a short whimper escape from the blonde. It stunned him; did he do or say something to cause Ed pain somehow? He raised his hand to Ed's cheek and gently pulled his face into a position where he could see it. Tears slowly rolled down the blonde's soft skin and fell down between them. "I-I'm sorry, did I say something to hurt you again?" Roy asked as he internally chastised himself for drabbling on without noticing Ed's distress.

Ed's emotions were running wild. The things Roy had told him were exactly what he'd always hoped to hear. But as Roy said them he felt like he was in one of those romantic movies where the woman cries because the man is holding her telling her impossibly perfect things. Things a person would only hear from someone who loved and accepted them completely, things people feel, but normally don't dare to say. Ed knew now exactly why those women cried, he thought. He always thought it was stupid, but now here he was, doing the same damned thing. He shook his head slightly and gazed up at Roy, his eyes brimming with fresh tears. He could hardly talk, but he wanted Roy to understand his words had just the opposite effect; they didn't hurt him at all. "Roy, I…" Ed gulped hard, how could he say what he needed to say? He tried again, still gazing at Roy, "Roy, what you said is just so…shit, I don't know," he started to grow frustrated with himself and looked away again. "Its like a movie… it's so damned sweet it's making me cry, so please stop before my heart fucking explodes, okay?" the blonde shot out. The burst of anger at least alleviated his tears and allowed him to gain some sort of control over himself.

Roy smiled; he really enjoyed pushing Ed over the edge. It was so easy, he thought, at least for him. Maybe that's because Ed loved him so much, the thought warmed his heart even more. He pulled Ed close to him and picked him up, Ed's torso over one arm and legs over the other, "Of all the gin joints in all the towns, in all the world, you walk into mine.1" Mustang stated smugly and started to walk towards his bedroom. Yes he would make it however Ed wanted.

"What? What gin joint, have you lost you mind?" Ed asked, thoroughly confused. He was too young to have seen that movie. He just heard Roy laugh at him, so he threw his arms around Roy's neck and allowed himself to be carried. Although he'd never admit it, he secretly relished the romantic gesture as he made fun of it. "Don't you dare drop me, you drunk bastard," Ed quipped.

Roy was still chuckling when he made it to the foot of his bed. He pretended to trip as he threw Ed down to the bed. He watched as the blonde's small body bounced slightly on the mattress. "Woops," he said with more chuckling.

"Shit! Damn you Roy," Ed responded, as he caught his fall with his arms and rear end. He scrambled out of the way just in time as Roy let himself fall to the bed beside him.

Roy turned on his side to face his young lover, now glaring at him. "Ed, I never knew you were such a hopeless romantic," he jested as he reached an arm around the blonde to draw him close.

Ed allowed Mustang to bring him beside the elder man and he lay on his back. "I'm not. Normally. But you just…do that to me," he said as he gazed into the eyes he adored. The moon was only partially full outside, but it was still bright enough to illuminate the room through the window and his lover's eyes along with it. He turned on his side and raised his arm to pull Roy's face close. He tenderly pushed his lips against Roy's; everything Roy had confessed made the intimate moment even sweeter. But quickly, his kiss searched for something deeper. Ed felt Roy reciprocate as the elder man opened his mouth to let Ed's tongue explore. The inside of Roy's mouth still held the faint taste of scotch, but Ed didn't care; he had his lover here, right next to him. He circled his tongue around Roy's and allowed the sensation to push right down to his groin. He moaned into the kiss as he felt himself harden.

Roy ran his hand lightly down under Ed's jacket and over his black tank. He circled one of Ed's nipples and felt the nub harden. He heard Ed let out a low growl as he pressed harder on the sensitive swelling and pinched gently. Ed's breathing was quickening as Roy left one side of his lover's chest to work on the other. Oh, how he loved the sounds Ed made when they were alone together. Roy could feel his own passion harden as he played with his lover, he pressed his hips against Ed's side and moaned his pleasure at the delicious pressure. Then Roy moved his hand down Ed's chest and sensually caressed his thighs, his hands moved dangerously close to Ed's firmness, but he didn't want to go there, not yet. He knew how to drive his young lover crazy and he'd wait until Ed was driven to request it.

Roy's hand and mouth set Ed on fire, he couldn't believe how aroused he was from the simple fondling and kisses. His firmness was throbbing, aching to be liberated and his tension satiated. He thrust into nothing as Roy's hand rubbed the inside of his thighs. Why did Roy tease him so much, he thought? Although, he also had to admit in way he liked it. Roy forced him to slow down, to savor the time they had together. Ed broke away from Roy's mouth with a short moan, "mmm, quit…teasing," he requested lustfully as he put his hand over Roy's and positioned it over the hardness running from his groin to the top of his pants. He guided Roy's palm solidly up and down his length as he thrust into the delicious pressure.

Roy smiled; Ed did just as he'd wanted. "So, Mr. Impatient, what should we do this time?" Roy questioned just as he began to lick Ed's ear. He felt Ed shudder and moan softly with the movement of his tongue and knew he'd found another place on Ed's body he could use to tease him with.

"I…uh…I don't care, um…just do something…uh…before I, I…" Ed tried to speak, but his mind had turned to mush. The sensation of Roy's tongue in his ear and hand stroking him through his pants was sending sensuous shivers up his spine and causing him to tingle.

Roy ceased his motions and turned away from Ed, then started to undress. He was aware of Ed still panting on his back for a few more seconds, in an apparent daze, before the blonde also undressed himself. The two glanced at each other, appreciating the view and wondering at the intense obsession they had for each other. As Roy bent over on the edge of the bed to pull his boxers over his feet, he felt a warm body press against his back and arms surround him. He could hear heavy breathing in his ear just before the blonde began kissing and sucking insistently on the back of his neck. Roy completed the task at hand and leaned carefully back into Ed's body. He raised his hand to gently caress Ed's flesh arm. He saw two legs splay out on either side of his hips as Ed straddled him from behind and pressed his erection against Roy's lower back.

Ed lowered his flesh arm to grasp Roy's member, he gently stroked it as he ground to find friction in his lovers back. His voice was husky as he seductively whispered what he desired, "Roy, enter me." He'd decided as he undressed that the massage oil Roy had so smugly produced last night might make the act even better than it had been on their trip. He reluctantly dragged away from Roy to give him some space and pulled the covers down. He slid inside the cool sheets and waited for Roy to come to him. He watched in awe as his lover's body moved languidly, it was all his to do with as he pleased.

Roy smiled as he reached to his nightstand and grasped the oil. He rose off the edge of the bed as he tugged his side of the covers down. Roy could feel Ed's eyes watching with anticipation his every move.

Ed gazed at Roy while the elder man shimmied over to his side, he was throbbing again just seeing the oil in his lover's hands and imagining how good Roy would feel inside him. Roy motioned for Ed to hold out his hand and he did as was requested. The oil was cold and wet as it made a small puddle in his palm. Then Roy removed the covers to expose himself and Ed plunged his hand down to the warm recess between Roy's legs. He pumped on Roy as his mouth found the elder man's in a passionate kiss. Soon, Ed felt Roy's mouth draw back and his arms nudged him around. Ed was slightly confused, he wasn't sure why Roy would want his back to him and he looked at him questioningly.

Roy was breathing heavily as he spoke his request, "Ed, get on your hands and knees."

"Wh-what? Why?" Ed asked.

"Just do it, you'll find out why soon enough," Roy stated with a wicked smile.

Ed obliged and pushed the sheets down around him as he got on all fours. He felt a little silly as he watched Roy raise himself and kneel behind him. Then Ed felt the sweet sensation of Roy's slippery fingers at his entrance, they circled him, teasing the knot of nerves just below the surface. Ed moaned loudly and dropped his head between his arms. It was unbelievable to him, the things Roy thought of to pleasure him. A finger slid in and circled again, it found his tender spot and thrust into it. Intense pulses shot through Ed's pelvis with each time Roy hit his target. A short gasp emitted from the blonde as he struggled to keep his arms straight, "m-more, Roy," Ed whined.

Roy was having a terrible time keeping himself from driving straight into the perfectly shaped behind of his lover. He stroked on himself a few times to alleviate some of his pent up frustration as he watched Ed's reaction to his teasing. When Ed requested more, Roy put his hands on Ed's hips and positioned himself at his entrance. Slowly, he entered; he winced in pleasure as his hardness drove into his lover's wet hot recess. His earlier confession made everything feel even more right. Roy was barely aware of Ed's urgent moans. He leaned over Ed after supplying his palm with more oil and held him from behind as he drove into and out of him. Roy's hand found Ed's member and pumped him sensuously.

Ed felt pleasure pulsing through him as his lover worked magic on his body. He surrendered to the sensation as he lost the battle over his arms and fell down to his elbows, his forehead pushed into the pillow below him. His moans were coming out in a rhythm as he began to surrender to the build up of tension in his abdomen. His climax started deep inside him, as Roy continued to thrust into his sweet spot, and purred along his length, until it spilled out into his lover's relentless digits. Ed let sharp cries escape from his lips and twisted as each wave persistently shot through his body. It was almost too extreme for him to handle.

Roy drove hard and fast into Ed as he witnessed his peak, forcing the blonde to feel as good as he could make it. He felt his own climax surge to the surface and he held tightly onto Ed as he yielded to each urgent contraction that racked his body as he pulsed into his lover.

Ed lay on his elbows and knees panting as Roy seemed to fall limply on top of him. The two were still joined at the hips and so spent they could hardly move. Then Ed felt Roy's arms embrace him tightly and gentle kisses on his back.

"I love you, Ed," Roy said softly in between tender kisses. He pulled out of the blonde and rested himself beside his lover. He watched as Ed lowered himself sideways, his back into Roy's chest, and pulled Roy's arm securely over his side. Ed brought Roy's hand up to his mouth and he gently kissed it.

This is a quote from 'Casablanca' starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, circa 1942. A/N: Maybe a little late for when FMA is supposed to be taking place, but who's counting?