Obvious chapter is so obvious it pains my eyes. Squall is going to have a little emo phase, nothing new, I guess... Wait, he's not emo! He just suffered too much and closed himself to the outside world not to be hurt anymore. That has nothing to do with being emo! *sighs* anyway, this phase shouldn't last for too long.

Sweet as a lion – Chapter 11 – After the rain

Squall woke up slowly. He didn't open his eyes at first. He wasn't sure of where he was. His body felt numb. His chest hurt and his eyes too. He wondered why. He was all curled up over himself. Somehow, something felt wrong. His shirt felt kinda wet. He rolled on his back, pushing away the sheets covering him. The ceiling was white. So he was sleeping on his couch? But the sun was still up outside the window…

Suddenly he remembered. Rinoa, his Rinoa was dead. He sighed as the urge to cry came back. To think she hadn't told him anything to keep him safe. And that she died alone, in the mane of humanity's safety. The she dumped him in the name of love. Her being with Seifer was all a play in which he had been a fool. And that hurt so deeply, to think she knew him that well when he thought that he really knew her. To think she had fooled him all this time. Why hadn't he seen through it?

He breathed in and out, slowly, to calm himself down. He still wanted to cry. He really wanted to yell and kick whatever would come around him just to let the pain out. He wasn't able to contain it. But at the same time, right when he felt ready to burst, he felt silent tears running down his cheeks, softly, just as Rinoa was. He tried to picture what she would tell him now. What would she think? Would she laugh?

No, she wouldn't. She would smile at him and hug him close. She would sing him a song or just keep on ruffling his hair, whispering that she loved him. That it was alright to be like that. She would try to cheer him up. Because there was always a new reason to smile in life, even in the darkest hour. As he thought that, he heard water running in the background. He remembered of Aeris. Aeris who had seen him crying. He quickly dried his tears, his first reaction being to feel ashamed. Though he had to admit, Aeris' presence had really reassured him. And the fact she was still here was still really reassuring. He sighed once more. The water stopped running.

Aeris was humming a song as she got out of the shower. He rolled on his stomach, stuffing his face in the pillow for an instant. He was going to pretend he was sleeping. Rinoa had just died. But somehow, as the washroom cracked open, he couldn't help himself and raised himself up to look at her. She was only wearing a towel and her hair was still soaking wet. She blushed as she realized he was awake and had seen her as she tried to tiptoe back in her room.

"Hi." she shyly whispered.

"Hey." he replied with a tired voice.

It was still broken from all the crying and screaming he'd done just a while ago. As she realized he was still pretty vulnerable, Aeris turned around to face him, holding her towel closed over her shape, her other arm wrapped around her waist. Carelessly, he stared at her legs. She sure had nice legs. And as he gazed back up, he changed his mind. All of her features were nice, really. He focused on her eyes, because he knew why he was eating her up with his eyes. She reminded him of Rinoa in so many ways.

"How do you feel?" she asked him.

"Huh… A little better?" he replied, as a question, because he wasn't all that sure.

"Maybe you should sleep a little more?"

"How long did I sleep?"

His voice still sounded so sleepy and frail, it made him slightly mad.

"About… for half an hour."

He rolled on his side, while keeping his eyes on her. She flushed a little more and hesitated. And Squall couldn't help himself but fin her cute when she doubted. He felt bad for thinking like that, but if his thoughts were to wander over Rinoa again, he would get back in the state he was in half an hour ago.

"Do you want to eat something? I made some supper for you, just in case.."

Squall gulped down. She was so gentle with him. And she still didn't know him all that much.

"Aeris…"

"The again, if you're not hungry, it would be perfectly understandable!" she tried to reassure him.

One of her bangs came out of her hair and stuck to her skin. And Squall remembered Rinoa when she was right out from her shower. He closed his eyes only to open them even quicker afterwards. He could see Rinoa under his eyes lashes.

"I… I forgot my clothes in my room. Well, it's your room, but… Maybe I'd better get changed," she nervously suggested.

"You look okay like this." he tried to joke.

She blushed even more and bit her lips before to look away. She seemed really confused between her options. Should she locked herself in her room to get changed or should she stay with him for a little longer? Squall slowly sat up on the couch, shaking his head a little, just to move his sore neck.

"Say, Aeris… About… about when we just arrived here…"

"You don't have to feel embarrassed about…"

"I wanted to … to thank you. You being here really… It helped." he gulped down again.

He felt as if he had no pride left at all. And somehow, he had to save something from it.

"Could you… not tell anyone about this… I mean like… Lightning or… Some Faction's guys."

"Of course I wouldn't! Even though it was totally normal. And even if you needed to cry again…"

"Don't go tempting me." he sighed, looking down.

There was a long silent, during which both of them looked for something to say. Squall was angry at himself for letting everything out, for being so open about his pain. Somehow, it made him feel guilty, because he had never been able to express himself like that in such a situation to Rinoa. Then again, his usual worries had never been as painful as the loss of Rinoa.

"I… I gotta get changed."

Aeris turned on her eels and Squall looked up to see her back as she entered the room. He noticed a mark on her left shoulder, a strange looking mark that couldn't be natural. He wondered what it could mean. But as he wondered, he became quite sure that he shouldn't ask her about it. He still barely knew her and all that he was sure of was that her life hadn't be a really happy one. This mark didn't look like a tattoo, but more like a scar. And as he tried to remember the sign he had seen, he realized it was looking like a number. Which was bad. And it meant he totally had to forget to ever talk to her about it. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt her. After everything she had done for him, it was the least he could do. She had been there, by his side as he slowly healed back from his physical and mental wounds. And now, as he was lost in the pain of his loss, in the reality where Rinoa wasn't alive anymore… Aeris was still here. Though all he'd done for her was save her life once.

He sighed again. And as the tears started welling up in his eyes again, for no reason, or so he thought, he held back a yell and stuffed his face back into his pillow. How he wanted to sleep. To escape. Drinking wasn't an option. He was still on his mission to protect Aeris. Anyway, he hated drinking. It meant losing control. And losing control willingly was something he'd rarely do.

…

Squall hadn't move at all when Aeris came back in the living room. She was wearing a white dress, barely covering her shoulders with its short sleeves. She went up to the couch, to look down at her bodyguard. He was lying on his side, all curled up on himself, his eyes looking straight in front of him, without looking at anything for real. He didn't blink as she sat on the couch, he barely moved away to give her any room to sit. Kneeling next to him, she reached out one hand and gently touched his face.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds as she started stroking his hair.

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Don't ask me."

It was more a plea than a declaration.

"It's normal, Squall. And it's okay to still feel sad."

"Don't lead me on that track…"

"I don't know what else to say, Squall."

"Then don't say anything."

She smiled at his reply. She kept on ruffling his hair. And slowly, he closed in, wrapping his body around her sitting for to lay with his head on her lap, making himself as small as possible. He needed comfort. He felt like a child. He hated himself for it. But Aeris repeated that it was alright. That everything was alright. And he slowly relaxed in his posture, accepting the contact, accepting the pain. Rinoa was still with him. In his heart. And as he closed his eyes, he could feel so many things around him. Inside him. Emotions were filling everything. He remembered all the good and the bad times with Rinoa in this apartment. Remembered how they would fight over stupid things. How he would apologized and how she would rushed in his arms.

They waited together for a long time, in silence. Squall was letting everything sink in. And Aeris was happy, that she could be of some help.

"I still feel mad at her." he whispered.

"For not telling you everything?"

"Doesn't it mean that she didn't trust me?"

"On the contrary. She trusted you. She trusted you would be alive to understand without her explaining. And she believed you would be alive to live without her. This means how generous she was."

He looked up at Aeris and she blushed a little. Suddenly, their position felt way too intimate. Squall realized it and lifted himself up a little, before to gently get Aeris to lie down next to him. At first, she panicked a little, because this meant she was getting even closer, but he kept his distance, just staring in her eyes. But the couch was big and there was a few inches between their face, which make the position a little less intimidating.

"You really think…"

"She didn't seem as a nasty person. She was kind-hearted and…"

"Don't. Don't say that she was. Don't talk about her in the past. She's still… She still exists."

Aeris smiled a little as Squall said that. His voice had won back some strength. His eyes had gotten back this sparkle of life there was before, when he was fighting the radiations' effects in the hospital.

"Yes. She does."

As she said that, she put her hand on his chest, right above his heart. And Squall gently forced her to remove her hand. Because his heart was beating too fast and it was hard to stay motionless next to her when he missed Rinoa so much. When he wanted to forget so much…

"Yeah… There. But don't… don't be too comprehensive about it. And stop going all motherly on me."

He looked away.

"Why…? What's the problem about it?"

"I… There's no problem about it!" he said, sitting up suddenly.

He had gone too soft. He had forgotten his place. Suddenly, he realized how infatuated of her he risked to become. He was vulnerable. In need. And she seemed so ready to help, he was getting ideas. He remembered that kiss in the market's plaza. He remembered… But moving on right now would be an insult to Rinoa's memory. And it wouldn't be moving on, but… just trying to escape the pain.

Aeris sat up too, frowning slightly.

"I'm… I'm hungry. You mentioned supper, huh?" he nervously mumbled as he started getting up.

It was then that she understood. She could comfort it when he was too lost in his pain to care if she was there or not. But now, as he was understanding and accepting the loss, slowly, but progressively, she had to keep her distances. He wasn't in full control. And as he went in the kitchen, looking pretty confused, she was smiling faintly. This guy could be so cute sometime. It was sad she had to know him in these circumstances. But somehow, he was able to make her forget all of the bad things in her life. Remembering what a normal, everyday life, truly was…

To be continued…

Because eating solves everything, of course... By the way, I'm freaking hungry. Got anything for me too Aeris? Nope? Awww, too bad, I guess.