Apologies for the short chapter – World Cup kept me occupied.
Just quick note to say there has been brief overlap between last 3 chapters (Peyton, Brooke and Haley). Whereas chapters were days or weeks apart these 3 have been all 3 women on the same day.
It had been easier for Haley to feign sleep at that point that to come up with anything to say to him when Nathan had first brought up the fact that he was now willing to have a baby. She'd spent days waiting for him to say it again, but he didn't. Deep down though she knew he'd meant it. She cursed him for doing this to her, and then felt guilty for wasn't she the one that had been unfaithful, nearing month five of her pregnancy she was in fact lying to him everyday just by not telling him of what was going on. She simply neglected to mention the doctor's appointments checking on the health of her baby. Nathan had been her Nathan again since Julian's death. The death of Julian and Brooke's subsequent heart breaking grief had it seemed shown both of them that they did still love one another, and Haley knew that though he would still be very much alive she was on the verge of losing Nathan and that terrified her. She resolved that she would tell him – today.
She arrived home just as he was pushing Tyler up the driveway after taking the girls to school.
"Hales what are you doing home again so soon? You forget something?" She wished it were that simple and the smile on his face made what she had to tell him worse. The nausea in her stomach she knew this time was nothing to do with her pregnancy.
"Actually Nathan I really need to talk to you – it's important." And again his delighted smile.
"Ok Hales, but I just need to tell you about what Tyler did on the walk home. He's so adorable. I'm just pushing him along and he's babbling away in his own little language and then clear as anything he says 'dada bike, bike dada.' And he's the most animated I've ever seen him as he points to this motorbike whooshing past us." Haley barely had chance to register just how happy this simple thing had made her husband, just how joyful he was to care for Brooke's delightful son before she heard the hollow voice.
"Julian had his midlife crisis just after Tyler was born." There was a trace of sarcasm in Brooke's tone and both Nathan and Haley turned to her shocked. "He bought a motorbike and Tyler just adored it. Every time he saw a bike he'd get excited and point thinking it was...thinking it was his dad. I guess he doesn't really understand that..." Brooke broke off and neither of them reached her before she had bolted from the house, Tyler seemed to barely register that the devastated woman who had disappeared as suddenly as she'd shown up was in fact his mother.
"Should we go after her?" Nathan's voice broke into her thoughts.
"I don't think so, she just needs time." Though she wasn't totally convinced that this were the truth she allowed herself to believe it, to believe that while Brooke had bolted from the house because of her grief the fact she'd left the house was an improvement. "Nathan we really need to talk." She knew she'd allowed Brooke's trauma to distract her from her own life and what she had to tell her husband. He nodded yet his attention was on releasing Tyler from the pushchair. Freedom his Tyler darted off to his favourite room in the house, Nathan duly followed and Haley trailed behind. With Tyler occupied with a banana Nathan sat at the breakfast bar finally fastening his attention on her. She had no idea where to start and felt close to vomiting with her nerves.
"Hales are you okay? You look awful, you need to lie down or something?" She held a hand up to stop him coming to her and placed the breakfast bar between them. Even in her state she could see the worry etched into his face.
"Nathan I'm so sorry. Before all this, when we were...falling apart...I was at the studio one night and instead of working I ended up drinking with one of the artists. We got really drunk and – Nathan I'm sorry." She could see him figuring out exactly what she was saying. "I should have told you this before, Nathan I'm pregnant." She watched him closely as the minutes ticked by, he looked dumbstruck and she could hardly blame him.
"You need to leave, take Tyler and leave." His words were strained and she knew he was about to erupt. She snatched the little boy up and disappeared. Camped out upstairs in the room that now housed Brooke's children's toys she could hear the smash of glass, the thud of a fist connecting with a wall and the sound of a door being ripped from its hinges. She couldn't stop the tears from falling as she allowed her knowledge of her husband and the sounds she could hear below paint a vivid picture in her mind or her husband destroying their home, giving into an anger that was beyond primal. The worst part however was knowing the rage he felt now was a blessing – she knew him enough to know that the rage was a smokescreen, protecting him briefly for the hurt and anguish he would naturally feel when the rage fell away. She had naively thought that listening to her husband destroy the home she loved because of her betrayal was the worst sound she'd ever heard – but the silence that followed was worse still. She looked up to discover that Nathan's war against their furniture had raged for almost two hours now, she swallowed and scooped Tyler into her arms. Amazingly he allowed her to deposit him in his new bed for his nap. A blessing right now for it would afford her an hour in which to try and speak to her husband.
Haley softly tread the stairs of her home, she saw Nathan sat on the floor, his head in his hands – their smashed wedding photo by his feet. Her self-loathing reached an all new high as she took in the devastation she had caused him.
"Nathan?" Her voice was soft as she approached him, one hand reaching out to touch his arm. His head jolted up at her voice and he batted the hand that reached for him away.
"Don't touch me." She withdrew her hand quickly, as though she'd been burnt and Nathan jumped to his feet. The tears in his eyes broke her heart, to know she had done this to him. "Who?" She hung her head.
"Josh Unbridge." Nathan shook his head in disbelief.
"Isn't it supposed to be me that trades you in for a younger model? Do you love him? Is he your new Chris Keller?" She knew Nathan had used that just to hurt her but instantly she was transported to a time when she had betrayed him and broken him. And he had trusted her again and years later she'd done the same.
"No I don't love him, I don't even think of him like...that. We were drunk and I thought our marriage was dying. He just said all the right things and made me feel special...I wish it hadn't happened, but it did and..."
"And now you're having his baby. Does he know? Have you both been laughing at me for – Christ Haley you said it happened when we were fighting all the time. That was at least 4 months ago! How long have you been pregnant and not told me? How long have you hidden it?"
"I only found out the day Julian died. Everything was such a mess and I needed to go to Brooke, then she had to come back with us and...Things have been getting better between us and I just...kept fooling myself that everything would be okay."
"I don't know what's worse Haley, the fact that you've known you were pregnant for 3 months and haven't told me, or that you could have gotten rid of it and didn't." How could she even begin to explain what she'd done to him?
"If I'd known that you'd change your mind, that you'd spend all this time with Tyler and then want a baby I would have. But I thought this was the only chance I had..."
"That makes it worse – that you just wouldn't tell me you slept with someone else Haley. I don't care what problems we were having – you cheated on me, with a musician of all people. Even if you weren't having his child there is no future for us now." She wept then, she had known Nathan would say exactly that, had known he would not want a life with her now and yet she had nurtured a small hope that maybe he would be able to forgive, that he loved her enough to see past her mistake. "I want you to leave Haley. I want you out of my house by the end of the day." Before she could formulate a response Tyler's cries could be heard. "I'm going to take Tyler out for some dinner. Pack while I'm gone." Nathan went to get Tyler and she soon heard the door slam shut behind them. She ventured into her kitchen to find plates and glasses smashed on the floor, one cupboard hanging off its hinges and broken plaster where Nathan had repeatedly hit the wall, a smattering of his blood around it. She located the sweeping brush and began to clean the debris of her home, barely even noticing the tears slipping down her cheeks. Her marriage was over. Even when she'd considered divorce during the worst times of the past year she hadn't really thought about the consequences of that – but now she could clearly see spending the rest of her life alone due to the horrifying thought that she could not possibly love anyone like she loved Nathan – and she had destroyed him with her infidelity. She couldn't even begin to contemplate her future, without him. Despite her pregnancy she had not even thought about actually having a baby.
"Mom what happened in here? Have we been robbed or something?" Jamie's concerned voice broke her from her cleaning trance.
"Can you help me clear up this mess please?" Her voice was thick with tears and her son – god love him – seemed to sense that the only thing she could handle right now was silently working side by side to repair the damage Nathan had inflicted as best they could. Once that particular job was done Haley searched out the number of a plasterer and left it pined to the fridge, instructing her son to make sure his father called the number when he got home.
"Mom what's happening?" She looked at him sadly as she realised the true extent of the damage she was causing.
"Will you come sit with me while I pack?" He looked at her so hurt and confused but followed her nonetheless. Jamie got her the case down from the top of the closet and she left it open on the bed while she began to throw clothes in, realising as she did so there wasn't that much she actually needed to take. The majority of her clothes would not serve her in the coming months. She was able to focus her attention on packing so as not to be witness to her son's face as she explained. "Jamie, your father wants me to leave and before you get mad he has ever right to ask me to do that. I'm pregnant – but to my eternal dismay I know it's not his. I made one stupid mistake that got me here. I'd wanted a baby for so long I just couldn't..." She let her sentence hang unfinished but Jamie was more than old enough to know exactly what she'd meant.
"That's what happened downstairs...did he hurt you?" Haley shook her head at her indignant son.
"Don't be ridiculous, he calmly asked me to Tyler away for a while. He raged downstairs causing the chaos and then we spoke briefly. He asked some questions and I gave some answers. He told me our marriage was over and he wanted me gone by the time he was back."
"He can't just kick you out you're pregnant...are you leaving for him?" She began to cry once more and cupped her baby boy's face in her hands.
"I'm not leaving you Jamie, I love you both so much but your father needs me to go and he deserves me to respect his wishes if nothing else right now. I will be okay." The lull in their conversation allowed them to hear the door open. Haley cast a glance to her open case and decided not to bother with anything else. As she'd previously considered her clothes would be of little use to her in a while. Jamie took her case in one hand and clasped his other around hers as they walked down the stairs. Sophie and Hannah looked bewildered by the presence of a suitcase.
"My mom is going away for a while." Haley thanked the lord for her son knowing there was little hope of her being able to speak right now. She hugged both girls, wishing she could see Tyler and Nathan before she left but knowing he'd planned it this way. A tearful goodbye to her son and she was ready to leave. Hope surged within her as the door opened only to be dashed when she saw Brooke. Haley went over and hugged her friend.
"I'm sorry Brooke, I still want to be here for you but..." Haley let the words hang not wanting to explain right now knowing she would have to do so again soon. She gathered her things and took one last look at her child before leaving.
She noted the surprised look on his face as he opened the door.
"Can I stay here for a while?" Her voice cracked and her tears fell as she spoke. He crushed her to him in a hug and took her bag ushering her inside. Wordlessly he settled her in the depths of the sofa and placed a hot tea in her hands. He waited patiently she knew for an explanation of what had brought her here. "I'm pregnant...and it's not Nathan's." Haley did think that if he let his mouth hang open like that much longer he could double as a fly catcher.
"How?"
"I got drunk at the studio with one of the artists. It was a mistake during the worst time of our marriage. I chose to have this baby because I thought it was my last chance,"
"But then Julian died and Nathan realised he did want a baby with you." She began to shake with the power of her sobs given the accuracy of his words. Lucas was next to her in seconds, pulling her into his embrace. "It's going to be okay hales, you'll both have a home here. Besides Nathan might come round." She shook her head.
"Lucas it's over. My marriage is over and I don't think anything will change that."
"Does the father know?" Stunned she realised that not once had she considered that now the truth was out she would have to tell josh about his impending fatherhood. She briefly considered not saying anything but realised the negative consequences it would have for Nathan. It would appear that he was kicking out his pregnant wife – rather than kicking out his adulterous wife.
"I haven't even thought how to tell him. He's barely older than Jamie."
"He's not important right now, don't let it worry you. I will take care of you Haley. You're still my best friend."
"I need to live here, but I don't want you to take care of me...the more important job I need you to do is take care of Nathan...and Brooke too. I brought her back here so she'd have all our support and now Nathan needs his own support, and I need a home. So much for her friends being there. Too much of our own drama."
"There's enough hours in my days to take care of all three of you. My priority right now is you. Nathan has Jamie with him and Brooke has her kids – and they have each other. For tonight let's just think about you."