Star Wars
Episode IV: A New Hop
Chapter 11: Leaving Tatooine
The scene opens with Luke, Obi-Wan and the droids entering Docking Bay 94. Han Solo and Chewbacca are preparing the Millenium Falcon.
Luke: What a piece of junk!
Han Solo: Hey! This ship is fast, pardner. If you think it's a piece of junk, you can ride on the thrusters! Now, how about you get on the ship so that we can get out of here?
Stormtroopers walk in.
Voodoo Bunny Trooper: Stop that ship! Blast them!
A gunfight ensues and Han retreats into the Falcon.
Han Solo: Chewie, get us out of here!
The Falcon takes off and leaves Tatooine. Two star destroyers are seen. Cut into the cockpit of the Falcon.
Han Solo: We've got two Imperial cruisers coming in! Chewie, prep the navi-computer to make the jump to lightspeed!
Chewbacca: Got it, sir!
Luke: What are we going to do?! They're gaining on us! You said this thing was fast!
Han Solo: Do you want to start this crap again?! I can handle this! Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose them.
The Millenium Falcon is being fired upon by a star destroyer. Cut back into the cockpit.
Luke: That was your maneuver? Moving slightly to the right?
Han Solo: I had to take a potty emergency.
Luke: We're being attacked by a star destroyer and you're going to the bathroom?!
Han Solo: Get off my back already! We're about to enter the jump to lightspeed!
Lightspeed time. The ship escapes and we cut to the Death Star approaching Alderaan. Inside the Death Star, Grand Moff Tarkin is waiting for Vader to come back with Leia. Leia and Darth Vader confront Grand Moff Tarkin.
Leia: Governor Tarkin! I recognized that stench the minute I set foot in this room.
Grand Moff Tarkin: That's real mature. You know that I shower on a daily basis.
Darth Vader: I don't. Sorry.
Grand Moff Tarkin: Anywho, I'm glad that you can make it, your Highness. You are about to witness the power of this battle station.
Leia: The more you tighten your grip, the more galaxies will slip through your fingers.
Grand Moff Tarkin: Well, seeing as how the mind probe didn't get you or your servant to tell us the location of the Rebel Base-
Cut to the damaged mind probe.
Mind Probe: I ask you to dinner and you wedge a metal pipe in me? It wasn't as bad when your servant took out my needle and wedged it in my eye.
Cut back to Tarkin, Leia and Vader.
Grand Moff Tarkin: We have decided to use an alternative use of interrogation. Since you refuse to give us the location, we have decided to test the Death Star on your home planet of Alderaan.
Leia: No! There's thousands of innocent people and we have no weapons-
Grand Moff Tarkin: You prefer another target? One less populated? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking, and you've got one more chance: Where is the Rebel base?
Leia: Dantooine.
Grand Moff Tarkin: There. You see, Lord Vader? She can be reasoned with.
Darth Vader: You don't have to rub it in my face.
Nearby Soldier: Like rubbing talcum powder on you is different.
Darth Vader: Alright! The next person who talks about the makeup is dead!
Grand Moff Tarkin: Have that soldier shot. Anyway, continue with the target. You may fire when ready.
Leia: What?!
Grand Moff Tarkin: You're much too trusting. Dantooine is too remote a place to test. But don't worry. We'll deal with your Rebel friends soon enough.
Leia: No!
Death Star Ratnician: Commence primary ignition.
The Death Star fires and destroys Alderaan.
Next Time:
Chapter 12: Captured by the Enemy