A/N: Surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.
/
After the shock of Queen Tatiana's scorned words against the princess, my gaze immediately sought out Rose. I easily found her distinct form in the crowd of novices, and I almost left my post to go calm her. I couldn't have her tackling the queen when Kirova had just barely allowed her to come to the banquet in the first place. Thankfully though, I saw Rose take a deep breath, and physically deflate from her defensive stance. By the expression on her face, she was trying valiantly to keep herself in check. Good, I thought cautiously. Maybe she was learning something of self-control after all.
For the entire dinner, I watched Rose like a hawk in case her show of inner-strength earlier had been a ruse, and she actually did try to sneak off and punch the queen in the mouth for what she'd said. Unfortunately, it didn't seem too far out of the realm of possibility. But thankfully, through the whole dinner Rose just sat, barely touching her food and constantly sneaking concerned glances in the princess's direction. She bit her lip and fidgeted nervously, and I assumed the princess's own inner feelings were adding to Rose's anxiety. I suddenly wondered the toll it must take on Rose—to always be in Lissa's mind, to know what the princess was thinking all the time. Did she actually feel all of Lissa's emotions too, or did she just have a general knowledge of what they were at any given time? Was there a way for Rose to block out the bond, I wondered? Did the princess know when Rose was listening in? There were so many questions that buzzed around my mind that I had yet to ask Rose, too focused on trying to keep our relationship professional for such idle conversations.
It must be overwhelming to say the least, to have someone else's mind piggybacked onto your own...
"She's grown into a beautiful young woman, wouldn't you say?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by Victor Dashkov, who was standing slightly hunched as always next to me. I blinked at him, surprised to see him standing there. I instantly chastised myself for losing my concentration once again due entirely to thoughts of Rose. I was a guardian, dammit, and a good one! I had to keep alert.
"I'm sorry, Prince Dashkov...who?" I intoned cautiously.
Prince Dashkov gave a jovial little laugh, launching into a minor coughing fit as a result. I looked behind him, but apparently he had managed to slip his personal guardians tonight. I was just going to offer him a glass of water when his coughing fit started to dissipate, and he repeated himself. "She's a remarkable young woman; Vasilisa is. I always knew there was something important about her, from the time she was just a child. Truly, remarkable," he repeated, a note of something akin to awe in his voice.
"Yes, Prince Dashkov, I am sure she will make a wonderful leader some day," I said, appeasing the sickly royal. I wasn't supposed to be distracted from my post, and surely Prince Dashkov knew that. Whatever the case, I wouldn't be rude to him. The older man probably missed having people to talk to after the rapid downfall of his health. He gave me a knowing look.
"What Tatiana said was out of line. Speaking to Vasilisa in that manner was unnecessary and childish of her, but alas...she is our queen, so I suppose I shall keep my lips sealed on the matter."
I made an effort to show no reaction to his words, though I wholeheartedly agreed. Lissa was technically the child, and though her family name was one of elegance and royalty, she still had plenty of time to live up to it. She was allowed to mess up as long as she made up for it later, as an adult. There was silence for a few moments, aside from the background chatter of the banquet goers. Us guardians were allowed to eat after the celebration, once the queen had left with her guardians and the students had gone back to their dorms.
"Guardian Belikov," started Prince Dashkov. "I must say that I am impressed with the progress you have made on our dear Rosemarie. She was always so stubborn and rebellious; I never thought she would make it to being a sanctioned guardian, if I'm being truthful. But..."
This had gotten my attention. I slid my gaze from the ground up to meet his green, benevolent eyes. He nodded his head as if agreeing with himself and continued, "Now with you as her mentor, I've seen a change in her. She listens to you as she does to no one else, Guardian Belikov." He smiled as if in on a secret and said, "I've never seen that girl favor anybody as much as she seems to favor you."
He chuckled, and reached out to pat my shoulder with a wrinkled, trembling hand. "Keep up the good work, son, and you may just make a guardian of her yet."
A frisson of warmth spread through my chest at the thought of Rose favoring me, as the prince had insinuated. I kept my guardian mask mostly in place, but nodded at Prince Dashkov appreciatively.
"Thank you, Your Highness. Miss Hathaway has been putting in a dedicated effort in her training lately. If I may say, her improvement is as much her doing as it is mine. She's the best student I could ask for, despite her reputation."
Not that I'd ever had another student to compare her to, or ever planned to. I had a feeling Rose would stand out anyway though, in the best and the worst ways possible.
Prince Dashkov stared at me for a moment, an almost calculating glint hidden in his gaze that I almost didn't catch. In a blink, the strange expression was gone, and I wondered if I was just imagining it. Before I could speculate on it further, the prince looked around, his lips pursed in confusion.
"Where is our lovely Miss Hathaway, anyway? After talking to her mentor, I would like to share my congratulations on her progress with her."
Crap, I thought, glancing toward the table she'd been sitting at only moments before. Her seat was empty, and it appeared the after party had just begun, the music louder than it was before and plates being cleared away. I darted my gaze across the room to where Vasilisa had been seated, and saw that she too had disappeared without me noticing. What a bad guardian I was turning into. Shape up, Belikov! I told myself.
I excused myself from Dashkov hurriedly but with as much grace as possible, and scanned the room twice more before making my way outside to look for the two troublemakers. I prayed to whatever was out there watching that Rose hadn't gone and found herself a fight to get into within the last ten minutes. One thing was sure, both of them were bound to keep me on my toes until graduation and probably afterward. Walking through the garden outside of the double doors, I could hear raised voices, and swore I could feel the tension blow past me on the breeze. I followed the voices like a dog following the scent of blood. If I knew my student as well as I thought I did, that's where she would be, at the center of the action.
That's when I heard her, from a distance, but loud and clear. Her voice was like a growl,"Yeah? Try and touch me now and find out."
I looked up to see a group of girls surrounding Lissa and Rose, the latter of the two standing between the princess and the conflict as always. Their body language reminded for some reason of the gangs of feral cats that used to fight behind the bakery in Baia, except where Rose was like a lion defending a cub, the others were just fat, spoiled house-cats in comparison. Rose made eye contact with me as soon as I caught sight of her, and her aggression seemed to calm slightly. Either way, I had to get them out of this situation and get Rose back to her dorm, before this night made a turn for the worse. I quickened my pace and came to stand next to Rose, the princess now practically hidden behind us both. An almost palpable heat radiated from Rose, and her breathing was labored. I wondered what the group of catty girls had said to set off her temper.
"Everything all right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the opposing group of girls. I noticed that the Rinaldi girl was in the center, a smug look pointed at Rose.
"Sure thing, Guardian Belikov," Rose said with stiff nonchalance. I blinked at her usage of my correct title. "We were just swapping family stories. Ever heard Mia's? It's fascinating." Rose's tone was coldly furious, a scary kind of calm.
"Come on," the Rinaldi girl beckoned her followers, striding away as the princess almost cowered behind us. The girl made sure to throw back a nasty look, but it was nothing to rival the look Rose shot back at her. The tension was insanely thick.
"I'm supposed to take you back to your dorm," I said. Rose continued to stare blankly at the direction the group had disappeared in. "You weren't just about to start a fight, were you?"
"Of course not. I don't start fights where people can see them." I drag them into the woods where no one can hear the screams, was left unsaid.
"Rose," the princess groaned. I'd almost forgotten about her, she'd been so quiet during the little debacle. Rose still didn't look away from the doorway. Christ.
"Let's go," I said abruptly, motioning for Rose to follow me. "Goodnight, Princess."
Rose acted as if I hadn't spoken. "You going to be okay, Liss?"
I glanced back to see the princess's eyes just starting to glaze with the hint of tears. "I told you, I'm fine. You've got to go," she tried to shoo Rose off, but it was anything but convincing. Rose looked between us, sighed, and reluctantly followed in my direction, leaving Lissa to herself.
As we neared the other side of the garden, when I thought it was safe to begin talking I said, "We may need to add an extra training on self-control." My comment was more of a joke than it was serious. Rose did obviously need some practice with self-control, but from what I had seen lately, she was doing fine all on her own. That was several times now I'd seen her holding her rage back, fighting her opponent with words and logic instead of the blind violence that had gotten her in trouble in the past.
I almost laughed at the indignant look that crossed her face. "I have plenty of self contr—hey!"
Tasha Ozera's nephew, a certain Christian Ozera, was seemingly trying to sneak past us towards Lissa's direction. Rose stopped in her tracks, reminding me of a barking German Shepherd. "You going to see Lissa?"
Christian paused, looking almost sheepish before he straightened his back and shoved his fists in the pockets of his pants."What if I am?" he challenged.
Rose's temper was like a ticking time bomb tonight. "Rose, this isn't the time," I tried to reason. It was no use.
"Why don't you just leave her alone? Are you so messed up and desperate for attention that you can't tell when someone doesn't like you?" My eyebrows shot up to my hairline at that one. Rose was never intentionally vicious. What was wrong with her all of a sudden?
"You're some crazy stalker, and she knows it. She's told me all about your weird obsession—how you're always hanging out in the attic together, how you set Ralf on fire to impress her," Rose carried on. "She thinks you're a freak, but she's too nice to say anything."
Christian's face paled considerably. He didn't deserve this kind of blatant bullying, and I couldn't believe of all people, Rose was the one inflicting it. Tasha had always talked highly of the boy, and though he was an outcast after what his parents had done, it wasn't fair to treat him this way because of their actions. I thought Rose would be the kind of person to realize that.
"But you aren't too nice?" he retorted in a low voice, clearly embarrassed but unwilling to show it.
"No. Not when I feel sorry for someone."
"Enough," I stated warningly, disappointed in her behavior. Just when I had been thinking her self-control had improved. I steered Rose away, keeping a hand firmly on her shoulder as we walked.
"Thanks for helping, then," Christian seethed behind us.
"No problem," Rose snapped back, unable to glance all the way over her shoulder because of the grip I had on it. Always one to get the last word.
Finally, when we'd walked a ways in silence and I felt Rose's posture relax, I let go of her, still walking close enough to her that our arms brushed against each other, just in case she tried to escape as I escorted her back to her dorm.
Though now that I looked at her, I thought that was probably the least likely scenario. Her posture was defeated, instead of cocky as I might have expected. Her feet shuffled along the pavement as she walked. If there were such a thing as seeing someone's aura, I thought Rose's would be a mixture of gray and dark, melancholy blue.
I sighed, stopping a few hundred feet from the entrance to the dhampir dorms. Rose stopped along with me, probably expecting another lecture. "What's wrong? What was that back there?" I asked instead, keeping my voice gentle.
"Hell if I know," she mumbled, shaking her head. "Lissa's been hanging out with that Christian jerk," she spat. "I mean, what is that going to do to her, to her reputation? He's just not right. I mean, look at his parents, for God's sake."
There was silence for a moment before she added in a huff, "And I'm out of my favorite lip gloss, my lips are really chapped, and it's pissing me off." She sniffed a little bit.
Oh, Roza, I thought exasperatedly. Something about the tone of her voice made me think that there was a lot more to her current mood than her friend having a crush on a boy she didn't like and a depleted supply of lip gloss. "You can't just judge somebody by their families mistakes or their past; I thought you of all people would know that."
Her eyes flicked up to my face dangerously. "What are you saying, that I've got a fucked up past? Guess you wouldn't be wrong," she scoffed.
My world narrowed suddenly, and my hand was tilting her face up towards mine before I knew what was happening. I made direct, stern eye contact with her. "Rose," I chastised. "You know that isn't what I meant. What I meant was that you're better than that. You're more mature than the kids—and even the teachers—that bully that boy for something that wasn't ever his fault. Come on, Rose..."
She gently removed her chin from my grasp, looked to the ground, and muttered something even my enhanced hearing didn't quite catch. "What was that?" I asked.
"I said," she mumbled, only slightly louder. "Even that doll-faced little bitch knows my parents never gave a shit about me."
Ah, I thought as my heart broke a little for her. There's the problem.
"Rose," I attempted, gently grabbing her wrist. She violently yanked out of my grasp. "No, Dimitri, forget it," she said. "Goodnight."
She began to walk away towards the dorms, but I couldn't let her go after such a revelation. I'd never seen her so vulnerable, so open, and I wanted to hold her and help her, and tell her everything would be okay. "Rose!" I tried reaching for her again but this time she almost growled, jogging away from me towards the dorms. Something small and cylindrical fell from the pocket of her jacket, seemingly unnoticed by her. It clanked hollowly against the pavement as Rose's rapid footsteps faded and she entered the dorms without a backward glance.
I sighed with frustration, looking in the direction she'd left for several minutes before I moved. God, she was going to kill me. I rubbed at my forehead, a headache forming slowly but surely. Why, why did I care so damn much about this girl? And how could I stop myself from feeling this way?
After careful thought, I still couldn't answer that question. My thoughts kept relentlessly steering back to how I could make Rose feel better, how to put a smile on her face, how to comfort her. I walked as I wrestled with my thoughts, looking forward to a hot shower and a good book. I just wanted to put this day behind me. I stepped on something hard, and it rolled underneath my boot. I stooped down, and saw the light glaring off of the object that had fallen from Rose's pocket moments ago.
I laughed under my breath, and I suddenly had an idea on how to make her smile.
It was an empty tube of lip gloss.
/
So...hello again! There are probably no readers left, but I had some sudden inspiration. I have been very busy the last years, and writing has been the last thing on my mind. I had a severe case of writer's block because of some depression, blah blah blah. I just felt bad for not updating and missed my story and my readers. So, please, review if you have the time. It will make me so happy! Love you all dearly!
-your loving writer