Scene opens in Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch. Ross and Rachel are sharing the armchair. Chandler is sitting in the chair at the end table. Enter Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Rachel: Hey, Joey.
Joey turns to Phoebe.
Joey: Phoebe, do you have a transparent silk scarf?
Phoebe: Yeah. Does it need to be a specific color?
Joey: Red would be good, if you have one.
Rachel: Hey, I'm the one who works in fashion! AND I have scarves like that! Why didn't you ask me?
Joey: Because you weren't home, and you wouldn't loan me those, anyway. Besides, I don't want a scarf you two used in some sex game.
Rachel looks away, blushing. Phoebe smiles, and turns to Joey.
Phoebe: Why do you need one, anyway?
Joey: I don't. Annette on the other hand…well…see for yourself.
The door opens, and Annette walks in, dressed in a belly dancer's outfit. Chandler opens his mouth, but Annette points a finger at him.
Annette: Say one word and Monica finds out who it really was that forgot to use a coaster last weekend.
Chandler closes his mouth. Theme song and title sequence play.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch. Enter Ross, on the phone.
Ross: No! I am not gonna help you in your crazy vendetta against some faceless person!
A pause.
Ross: Chandler, you ever think this is getting out of hand? You're obsessing over this Rogue thing too much. I think Monica's starting to rub off on you.
Monica: Hey!
Ross turns to her.
Ross: What?
Monica: I'm right here, you know.
Ross: Really? I thought you'd have been cleaning the stain out in the hall.
Monica: Nope, right here.
Monica starts fidgeting, before jumping up.
Monica: Oh, screw it! Where are the cleaning supplies?
Monica runs out the door, as Ross hangs up the phone. Rachel turns to Ross.
Rachel: Thank you, baby.
Ross smiles, and leans in to kiss her.
Ross: I'm not sure what you're thanking me for, but you're welcome.
Rachel: For getting rid of Monica. I want some alone time with you.
Ross: Then I am happy to be of service.
Rachel smiles and leans in for another kiss, as Monica walks in.
Monica: Ross, there was no stain out in the hall. You fibbed!
Ross: I never said it was in OUR hallway, Mon.
Monica: Augh! I'm gonna go ballistic until I find it! DAMN you!
Monica runs back out the door. Rachel turns to Ross with a confused look on her face.
Rachel: Is there a stain somewhere?
Ross: I don't know. But she'll drive herself bonkers until she finds one.
Rachel giggles, and pulls Ross in for a kiss. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Mike and Phoebe are sitting on the couch. Joey is sitting in the armchair. Chandler is sitting in the chair at the end table.
Mike: So how did Annette's job go?
Joey: I don't know, she was still ranting about horny, brain-dead idiots when I left.
Chandler: Did your relatives drop by for a visit again?
Phoebe smacks Chandler.
Phoebe: You behave! (to Joey) They didn't, did they?
Joey: No! At least, not as far as I know.
Mike looks out the window.
Mike: I'm not seeing emergency vehicles outside, so I'd say it's a safe bet that they didn't show up.
Joey: Why would emergency vehicles be outside if they did?
Mike: Because Annette would kill them, if they saw her in that outfit.
Chandler: Man's got a point.
Joey: Well, I know my family didn't stop by. I think she was referring to the men she's doing this dance for.
Chandler (sarcastically): Really. We never would've figured that out on our own. Thank you for clearing that up for us, Joey.
Joey: Phoebe?
Phoebe smacks Chandler again.
Chandler: Ow!
Joey: Thanks.
Phoebe: You're welcome.
Enter Ross, Rachel, and Annette. Annette is dressed in her belly dancing outfit, with a veil across her face. Several patrons turn, and give her appreciative grins. Phoebe stands up and faces them.
Phoebe: That's my cousin-in-law. So if you don't want me over there, wipe those smiles.
Everyone turns away. Annette walks over to Joey.
Annette: You ready to go?
Joey: Go where?
Annette: You're going with me to this thing.
Joey: What? I am not!
Annette: You got me into this, you're going! Now come on!
Joey turns to Chandler.
Joey: Little help here?
Chandler (sarcastically): Yes, a beautiful woman wants to drag you along to watch her do a provocative dance. I'm REALLY going to help you. You two kids have fun.
Annette grabs Joey's hand, and pulls him to his feet. Joey looks over his shoulder, as he's being dragged out the door.
Joey: Mike! Phoebe! Help!
Chandler: Annette, wait a minute.
Annette stops, and turns around. Chandler takes a picture on his cell phone.
Chandler: This is going on my Facebook page. Smile.
Annette turns around, and drags Joey out the door. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Chandler, Mike, and Monica are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting in the chair at the end table, Rachel in his lap. Enter Joey and Annette.
Annette: That is the LAST time I ever agree to something like that!
Joey: You weren't that bad! Besides, they didn't blame you for the fire.
Annette: They only said that because they were scared you were gonna beat them up! A big, crazy guy bursting into the room, waving a sandwich? I'm surprised some of them didn't drop dead of a heart attack.
Joey: How was I supposed to know that the back room was off limits?
Annette: I don't know. I guess the big sign on the door saying "Keep Out" wasn't enough of a clue?
Annette sits down in the armchair, as Joey goes over to the counter to get a muffin. Mike stares at Annette, as her leg starts twitching.
Annette: What?
Mike: You're doing it again.
Annette: Doing what?
Mike: The leg twitching. You only do that if you're lying, or when something bad happens and you don't wanna talk about it.
Annette sighs, and looks over at the counter where Joey is.
Annette: Okay, something did happen, but I haven't told Joey yet.
Monica: You forgot to use a coaster, and you set a sweaty drink on the coffee table?
Annette: No.
Rachel: Your boyfriend ruined your best pair of dress slacks?
Annette: No.
Ross: I never did that!
Rachel: Yes, you did.
Ross: No, I didn't! That was that dream that you had three nights ago, that you woke up and hit me over.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, honey.
Ross: It's fine. I love you.
Rachel: Love you, too.
Ross and Rachel kiss. Annette gags.
Annette: Hey, how about we bring the attention back to the person with the problem?
Everyone turns to Annette.
Annette: That guy at the club offered me a chance to dance there, professionally.
Mike: You mean stripping?
Annette nods.
Mike: I REALLY hope you're not considering it.
Annette: I'm not, but I don't want Joey to find out. You know how protective he is. Remember last week, when I was getting harassed by the vendor on 35th?
Chandler: I remember thinking that was gonna end up on the nine o'clock news.
Monica: I remember thinking that spinning back kick to his groin must've hurt.
Annette laughs.
Annette: Yeah, he couldn't walk straight for days.
Joey walks over, with a latte and two blueberry muffins.
Joey: What's so funny?
Annette: Nothing, don't worry about it.
Joey holds out the latte and one of the muffins to Annette.
Joey: I figured you could use something to eat and drink. You look run down.
Annette takes the offered items.
Annette: Thanks, Joey. That's very sweet of you.
Joey: No problem. I gotta get going, though. I have a date tonight.
Annette: Since when?
Joey: Since we were running from the club, before the police showed up.
Annette: Well, if you weren't shouting "FIRE!" in the street, the cops wouldn't have been called.
Joey: I think the smoke billowing from the windows would've ended up with them called, anyway.
Annette: Smoke? Joey, that was FOG from the fog machines. You DO remember the misty atmosphere, right?
Joey: I remember there's a great Italian place a couple doors down.
Joey turns around and walks out, eating his muffin.
Joey: Bye, guys.
Calls of "bye" and "see ya" float back. Annette scowls at his back, as he walks out. Everyone turns and looks at her.
Annette: What?
Monica: When are you gonna tell him?
Annette: Tell him what?
Mike: Annette, we're not blind or stupid. That reaction was a pretty good indication of how you feel about Joey.
Monica: If you don't tell him soon, he's gonna end up with someone else, and you'll never have him.
Annette: I don't know what you're talking about.
Chandler scoffs.
Chandler: You sound like Ross when Rachel first came to the city.
Monica: And WHO finally let it slip on her birthday, again?
Chandler: That was an accident.
Rachel: Well, it worked out in the end.
Ross rubs Rachel's back, and smiles.
Ross: Yes, it did.
Everyone starts gagging. Ross and Rachel look at them in disgust.
Rachel: Okay, you can stop.
Monica: You two would make a diabetic person need an insulin shot.
Ross: Like you and Chandler are any better?
Monica looks away. Annette laughs.
Annette: Okay, that made me feel better.
Annette stands up.
Annette: I'm gonna go upstairs, and talk to Joey. Hopefully, he hasn't left yet.
Annette leaves. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is exiting the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Enter Annette.
Annette: Joey, are you he…
Annette trails off and stares at Joey, jaw dropping.
Joey: Annette?
No answer.
Joey: Annette!
Annette finally closes her mouth.
Annette: Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I didn't realize you were this…well…cut.
Joey: Well, I also don't normally walk around in a towel.
Annette: You went walking through Central Perk in your shorts, and started stripping in Times Square. I don't think walking around in a towel is that far a stretch, Joe.
Joey: I function better when I have room to breathe down there.
Joey gestures to his waist. Annette raises an eyebrow.
Annette: Breathe, huh?
Joey: Yep.
Annette: After the stunts you pulled the last few weeks, I don't think you need to be worrying about breathing down there anytime soon.
Joey sticks his tongue out at Annette. Annette grins at him.
Joey: Anyway, I'm gonna go get ready. You gonna be all right here by yourself?
Annette: Joey, I'm twenty-eight years old. If I need a babysitter or adult supervision, there's something wrong.
Joey: Well, just remember: the number for the fire and police are on the fridge, and you have my cell number on there. There's money for pizza, and listen to the sitter.
Annette sticks her tongue out at Joey. Joey laughs.
Joey: Payback.
Annette: Okay, you got me back.
Joey walks into his room, and shuts the door. Annette smiles, and sits down in her chair. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the table with Monica. Ross and Chandler are sitting on the couch, watching a game on TV. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, guys.
Monica: Hey.
Annette: What're they watching?
Rachel: Some game on TV. We weren't paying attention, so we decided to sit here and talk.
Annette: Why didn't you just do that down at the coffee shop?
Rachel: Because Emma's in bed.
Annette: Good reason.
Monica: Why are you here? Shouldn't you be out with Joey, celebrating your guys' new relationship?
Rachel smacks Monica.
Rachel: Mon! They're taking a breather.
Annette: We're not taking a breather. I didn't tell him.
Rachel and Monica look at Annette, then get up and start whacking her. Annette raises her arms.
Annette: Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it!
Monica: You are SUPPOSED to be out on a date with Joey! Why didn't you tell him yet?
Annette: I didn't wanna ruin his date tonight!
Rachel and Monica beat on Annette even more. Annette starts running away.
Annette: Guys, a little help here!
Ross and Chandler continue to sit.
Annette: Thanks, you clowns.
Ross: I'm dating one, and related to the other. I know better than to get in the middle of it.
Annette: Chandler?
Chandler: I just don't wanna get up.
Annette grabs a pillow off the couch, and starts whacking Rachel and Monica back.
Annette: Back off, you two! Heel!
Chandler looks over his shoulder to see the girls fighting, and then turns to Ross.
Chandler: Do we keep watching the game, or the catfight?
Ross: Catfight. This is way more entertaining, and it's something we can tease Joey about missing later.
Chandler grins, as he and Ross turn around and watch the girls fight.
Chandler: You can't buy entertainment like this.
Ross: I know, right?
Chandler and Ross throw pillows to Monica and Rachel, as they keep fighting with Annette. Scene ends and opens in Mike and Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Joey are sitting on the couch. Enter Phoebe from the bedroom.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What're you doing here? I thought you had a date.
Joey: I did, but it ended early.
Phoebe: Crazy?
Joey: BEYOND crazy.
Mike: Honey, can you help me out here? Joey doesn't seem to believe me that Annette's falling in love with him.
Joey: Because she's not! She's been here about a month and a half, living with me for that long. I highly doubt she's falling in love with me.
Phoebe: Joey, here's a question for you. How long did it take Chandler and Monica to fall in love?
Long pause.
Phoebe: Joey?
Joey: Don't interrupt, I'm thinking.
Phoebe: Think of Monica and Chandler, not the bridesmaids.
Joey: I'm not!
Phoebe: Joey…
Joey: Okay, fine. Monica and Chandler, Monica and Chandler, Monica and Chandler…
A pause. Joey snaps his fingers.
Joey: As soon as we got back! Although, they WERE hiding it…ooh, I should challenge Chandler to a game of hide-and-seek!
Phoebe: Joey! Focus!
Joey: Right, sorry.
Phoebe: It didn't take Monica and Chandler long to fall in love. It won't take Annette long to fall in love with you.
Joey: Yeah, but Monica and Chandler knew each other for years before they started dating.
Mike: He's got a point, honey.
Phoebe: Whose side are you on, here?
Mike turns back to the TV.
Phoebe: That's what I thought.
Phoebe turns to Joey.
Phoebe: Annette's been living with you for almost two months. Why would you think she wouldn't be falling in love with you?
Joey: Well, she hasn't said or done anything to give me or anyone that idea.
Phoebe: Hasn't said or done…? Joey, she's been throwing you hints for weeks now! What does she have to do, walk naked in front of you?
Mike turns to them and opens his mouth. Phoebe points a finger at him.
Phoebe: Don't you say a word.
Mike closes his mouth.
Phoebe: Joey, I want you to promise me you'll go home and ask Annette on a date. Trust me; she really wants to be with you.
Joey: Okay, I'll go and ask her. But if she says no, I'm going out with the next woman I see.
Phoebe shoves Joey toward the door.
Phoebe: Go!
Joey: I'm going, I'm going!
Joey leaves. Phoebe sits next to Mike on the couch.
Mike: I hope you know what you're doing. Annette's gonna make life a lot more complicated for him.
Phoebe: He'll be fine. Much like my lobsters, those two are meant for each other.
Mike laughs, and pulls Phoebe in for a kiss. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is sitting in her recliner, holding Duck Jr.
Annette: So when do you think Daddy will be home?
Duck Jr. quacks. Annette nods, and sighs.
Annette: Yeah, I agree. I've been spending too much time with Phoebe, if I'm holding a conversation with you.
Annette sets Duck Jr. on the floor, who wanders off. Enter Joey.
Annette: Hey.
Joey: Hey. How was your night?
Annette: Painful. Monica and Rachel were beating on me with pillows.
Joey: I missed a catfight? Dammit!
Annette: Hurting you for that comment later. Oh, Phoebe called. Said you wanted to ask me something?
Joey looks uncomfortable.
Joey: Yeah. Are you doing anything next week?
Annette: I thought I might put on my tights, and go save the city from my evil nemesis.
Joey: You're busy? Okay, good night.
Joey starts heading for his room. Annette grabs his hand and yanks him back toward her.
Annette: Hold it. Why are you asking, anyway?
Joey: To see if you had plans with Gunther or one of your co-workers.
Annette: Nope.
Joey: Do you wanna have dinner next week?
Annette gasps.
Annette: Joey, are you serious?
Joey: Yeah. That's why Phoebe was calling. Well, actually, she wanted me to ask you on a date, but I'll settle for dinner.
Annette: What if I say no?
Joey: Then I'll ask the next person I set eyes on.
Annette: Close your eyes.
Joey looks confused, and closes his eyes.
Annette: Okay, now open them.
Joey opens his eyes, to see Annette standing right in front of him, smiling.
Annette: Since I'm the next person you saw, consider this a yes.
Joey grins, and pulls her into a hug.
Joey: This isn't an official date, mind you. It's just getting everyone off of us.
Annette: I'll think of something to prank them with.
Joey laughs, and pulls Annette into another hug. Credits roll.
CREDIT SCENE
Scene opens in Central Perk. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch.
Ross: I have a question for you.
Rachel: What's that?
Ross: If I asked you nicely, would you ever dress up like Annette did for that dancing job?
Rachel: When you get that sailor uniform again, I might.
A pause. Ross and Rachel jump up.
Ross: I'll call the costume shop.
Rachel: I'll ask Annette if I can borrow her outfit.
Ross and Rachel race out the door.
(A/N I'm gonna address a ? I get asked a lot: "Who could play Annette on the show?" Here's my answer to that: I'M NOT PICKING SOMEONE. Why should I pick someone for you, reader? If I do that, you're stuck with a pick you might not agree with. So my answer? Pick your own person. Don't be tied down to my choice.)