To everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, thank you.
Really.
So I was going to dedicate this chapter to one of my favorite reviewers but uh...I really don't think she'll want this so..yeah.
I hope this answers a few questions and I hope it isn't as hard to read as it was to write.
All mistakes are mine.
The first time Aife Dennis heard the name Lauren Lewis, her daughter had been eleven, almost twelve really.
"There's a new girl in my class. Her names Lauren" She had gushed as they ate dinner one night, "she's smarter than smart."
That was the first of many times Aife would hear the name Lauren in her house.
"Do you know that Lauren has golden dapples in her eyes?"
"Golden Dapples?"
"Mhmm, and when she smiles, they dance."
If she's being honest, Aife had initially found it cute. She remembered when she was Bo's age, she'd also had a best friend who had been more like a sister to her.
She was glad her daughter was getting to experience the joys of true friendship.
"Mom, do you think we could have like, zoo animals and stuff, at my party."
"Animals?"
"Uh huh. Lauren really likes animals and I really want her to have fun at my party."
"But honey, you're afraid of animals."
"Yeah, but Lauren loves them so-"
They had hired half the zoo for the party, and Aife started worrying.
A simple friendship she could stand, there was really no harm in it.
But it seemed like whatever Bo had for the blond girl was a little more than just friendly feelings.
Or maybe Aife was just looking too much into things.
Bo, from a very early age had always been extremely passionate.
She did not do things half assed, she put her heart and soul into everything she did.
That must be what was going on, it was just a very intense friendship.
Nothing more.
She had been wrong.
It happened when Bo was fifteen.
The brunette had been down for almost a week and when Aife asked her what the problem is, she said something about Lauren and a conference and that she didn't really feel like talking about it, Aife let her be.
Until one day, late at night, when her father was out of town and it was just the two of them making dinner, she brought it up herself.
"Mom," she started softly.
"Yes dear," Aife answered, not really giving her much attention, she needed to focus all her attention on measuring the flour, it was imperative if the brownies she was baking were to be any good.
"Uh, I need to ask you something, and I need you to not freak out, Okay?"
Now she turned her attention to her daughter.
She had never heard Bo sound so nervous about asking her anything.
Bo was Aife's only child and judging by the fact that Bo was fourteen and there still weren't any signs of her getting pregnant any time soon, that was going to be a permanent thing.
She tried making sure they were friends, that Bo felt free to tell her anything anytime without feeling scared at all.
"Honey, you can tell me anything. You know that" She used her most motherly voice.
"Just, just promise not to freak out."
"Well, I can not really promise until I've heard what you have to say." She said softly.
"It's uh-it's about Lauren." She wrung her hands while staring at her feet.
"What about Lauren?"
"I just, " she sighed, "I miss her."
Aife chuckled, "that's what's got you worried? Honey, it's normal to miss people."
Bo shook her head, "not the way I miss her. I miss her all the time. Sometimes, sometimes I can't even think of anything else."
"Ysabeu wha are you trying to say?" Aife asked with narrowed eyes.
"I don't know."Bo looked like she could cry, "I think- I think I like her."
Something in Aife told her this conversation was getting dangerous.
She tried not to jump to conclusions.
"Of course you like her. She's you're best friend."
"No I mean," she sighed, "Like like her"
Aife felt her blood freeze.
This wasn't happening, her daughter wasn't saying these things right now.
She was fifteen for god's sake! She did not know anything.
"I don't think you're old enough to know what you're talking about,Ysabeu."
"That's the thing though, I do know what I'm talking about mom. I don't know how, I just know that I know."
"I don't think I want to keep having this conversation."
Bo's eyes widened, "What? Mom you-"
"You're too young to know anything, Ysabeu. You and that girl have been best friends over two years and you spend almost everyday together. It's normal that you've become, attached."
She said the last word like it was poison, it felt bitter in her mouth.
"That's not what this is!"
"Did I not say I do not want to talk about it? I am telling you what is and what isn't. I am not asking for your opinion."
"But-" tears were poling in the brunette's eyes.
"Go get ready for dinner." Aife said with a note of finality.
Bo jumped from the counter, looking at her mother with glazes eyes and a look that said she did not even know who the woman before her was. At that moment, the two might have as well been strangers.
"And Ysabeu," Aife said not establishing eye contact, 'not a word of this should be uttered to anyone else. Understood?"
Bo ran out of the kitchen, cying.
That night, the brunette had cried herself to sleep and Aife had made phone calls to the Thornwoods, inviting them to dinner the next week.
…
The next day, Bo was standing in front of Lauren's door.
The blond had called twenty minute prior to inform her that she was back home and immediately after they'd hang up, Bo was out of her house heading to Lauren's.
The door was opened after the first knock, as if Lauren had just been waiting for the brunette to knock. And before she could even say hi, Bo's arms were around her.
Lauren chuckled, "hey."
"God I missed you."
Lauren heard tears in the brunette's voice, she pulled back, "hey, what's wrong?" She asked softly.
The brunette shook her head and chuckled a bit, "nothing, I'm just, I'm really happy to see you."
She knew she couldn't tell her about the conversation with her mom, no matter how much she wanted to.
"I've known you for years, Bo. You can't lie to me."
Bo wiped the tears away from her eyes and tried to look cheerful, " nothing's wrong. Really." She tagged the blond's hand and pulled her inside the house, "come show me all the sciency stuff you brought back for me from the conference."
"Bo-"
Lauren wasn't ready to let things go.
She knew Bo. She knew when she was okay and when she was hurting and right now she was really hurting.
The brunette turned back,her eyes begging Lauren to just let it go and for some reason, it was ingrained in Lauren to give her best fried whatever she wanted.
Even if sometimes it wasn't good for her.
She sighed, "fine, but don't think we won't talk about this later."
Bo's reply was a sad smile.
…
"Where are you off to in such a rush?"
A week had passed since Aife's talk with her daughter and to say things had changed would be an understatement.
Aife found it hard to look her daughter in the eyes and Bo found it revolting to look at her mother at all.
"Lauren's," she answered curtly, "we have a study date."
The word we in regards to her daughter and that girl, uttered in the same sentence as the word date was enough to make Aife feel like vomiting.
Where had she gone wrong with her little girl?
Honestly.
She had plans for Bo. Big plans and it would be a cold day in hell before she let some stupid teenage phase ruin those plans.
Bo could hate her all she wanted but Aife was doing this for her own good.
She would come to see that one day.
"Bo, I thought I told you-"
"You did not forbid me to see cannot forbid me to see her."
"I'm your mother, Bo. You'll find that there isn't that many things I cannot do where you're involved."
Bo sighed," mother," she sounded tired, a complete different person from who she was a week ago and if Aife didn't know in her heart that what she was doing was best for her child, she would have felt guilty.
"We're having dinner with the Thornwoods tonight. You're to attend."
It wasn't a request.
Bo's brown eyes looked stormy,"why?"
"Because I say so."
…
Dinner with the Thornwoods was a torturous affair.
Mrs. Thornwod was stiff and Dyson Thornwood was touchy.
Aife encouraged him to end.
"Dinner was lovely, Aife. Thank you for having us."
"Thank you for coming. Bo," she turned to her bored looking daughter, "aren't you going to say goodbye to Dyson?"
"I already did."
"Well, do it again." Her voice was honey sweet, it made Bo sick to her stomach,"I think he has something to ask you."
The two women in the room shared a look that Bo didn't like.
She turned to Dyson who looked a little embarrassed," goodbye." She said shortly.
"Ysabeu!" Aife sounded appaled.
"You said to tell him goodbye, I told him goodbye. What more do you want?"
Aife sighed and offered the Thornwods endless apologies on behalf of her daughter, assuring them that she was never like this and promising she'l l have a talk with her.
Imidiately the Thornwoods left, she turned her angry eyes at Bo, "what was that?"
Bo shrugged. "I don't like him." She said simply.
Aife narrowed her eyes, "that's too bad, since you'll be spending a lot of time with him, from now on, seeing as he's your boyfriend."
Bo's eyes widened, she opened her mouth to say something but the look in Aife's eyes hushed her, "that my dear, was not a suggestion."
…
They were lying on Lauren's bed, Lauren running her fingers through Bo's hair and Bo crying her eyes out.
The blond was at a loss on what to do.
Bo had just turned up late for their study date, her eyes red and with no explanations to give other than she absolutely hated her mother.
Lauren had tried everything she could think of to get Bo to stop crying, nothing was working.
So she'd figured maybe it was best to just let her cry whatever it was out, when she was ready to talk she would.
The sobs quieted down after almost an hour and the brunette's eyes looked swollen as she looked into Lauren's eyes.
The blond wiped some left over strays of tears away, "do you want to talk about it?"
Bo shook her head.
Lauren nodded.
"Do you want me to tell you atom jokes? I learnt new ones during the conference." She offered politely.
That made Bo crack a tiny smile in spite of herself, she still shook her head.
Lauren nodded again and seemed to be thinking.
Bo scotted closer.
"I want to kiss you." She said.
Lauren's eyes snapped to her, "sorry?"
"I want to kiss you." Bo repeated, sure of herself.
"I-"
"You can tell me if you don't want me to,okay?"
Lauren nodded, but didn't ay a thing.
Bo took that permission to kiss her and brought their lips together.
It was awkward and terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
And as Lauren brought her soft hands to cup Bo's teary cheeks, the brunette just knew that no matter what her mother said, what she felt for Lauren was more than attachment.
So much more.
….
Bo drowned another glass of scotch and almost laughed at herself.
God, she was so , so stupid.
It had been right there, clear as freaking day.
The Sunday movie nights.
The stupid grin Tamsin wore everytime after she'd seen Lauren.
The way she'd looked at her each time Bo mentioned winning Lauren back.
Honestly, short of wearing a freaking sign on her head, Tamsin had given all the signs that she was in love with Lauren.
And Bo had stupidly chosen to ignore them.
She had stupidly told herself that Tamsin, her bestfriend, was someome she could trust.
So Stupid!
She heard the door to the study open and she closed her eyes.
She had told the maids to send everyone home and make sure no one bothered her.
Company was the very last thing she needed right now.
"Ysasbeu? Is that you?"
Fuck, her mother was the very last person she wanted to see at this moment.
"Are you drinking your father's scotch?"
"I really don't want to talk right now, mother."
She poured more scotch into her glass.
Aife frowned.
Her relationship with Bo had never been repaired since that night, years ago.
She honestly doubted it ever would be repaired.
Too much time had passed, too much had happened.
But she was still the girl's mother and she deserved some respect.
"I will not-" she started only to be cut short by Bo banging he glass on the table.
"You know what," the brunette stood up, "I've changed my mind,lets talk."
Aife had never seen her daughter look so angy before, honestly, it was a bit scary.
"Ysabeu-"
"No mother. You wanted to talk, so let's talk. And to start with, let's talk about how you ruined my entire life."
Aife pursed her lips, "I do not like your tone of voice, Ysabeu."
"And I don't like you, mother. In fact, I hate you."
Aife's blood froze, "where is this coming from?"
"It's coming from the fact that I've lost the only person who ever mattered to me and it's all your damn fault!"
Aife was now genuinely puzzeled.
"Dyson broke up with you?"
"Dy-" Bo's eyes grew even more stormy, "you think this is about Dyson?"
"It isn't?"
"Of course it isn't! I don't even like him! I never even wanted to date him and you know it!"
"I thought things were good between you two."
"Good?" Bo took a step towards her mother and unconsciously, Aife took a step back, the girl looked murderous.
"I hate him, mother. Do you know what it's like to be with someone you hate? To feel filthy and vile and violated every time he touches you?"
"Ysabeu-"
"No mother, you wanted to talk, were talking. We're talking about how every damn day I die a little more inside but I have to smile because I'm Bo Dennis. Aife's perfect daughter who has no right to be anything but."
"I- I didn't know that."
Aife said swallowing the lump in her throat, this conversation made her feel like vomiting.
"Of course you didn't. How could you? Everything was going your way and that's all that ever matters to you."
"That's not true. You're my daughter, you're happiness matters to me."
"Really?" she narrowed her eyes, "because it didn't seem like it when I came to you scared and confused and you just made me more scared. God, mother, I was fifteen!"
It suddenly dawned on Aife where all this was coming from, she straightened her back, ready to defend her principals.
She was sure she was right then and she is sure she is still right.
"I couldn't let you fall into sin, Ysabeu."
"What do you mean sin mother? I was in love! I still am."
"What?" She breathed out, completely shocked.
She ha thought it was some stupid sick infatuation.
Some stupid sick infatuation that she had done away with, not love.
"You heard me." Bo said in a strong voice. "I was in love with her then and I am even more in love with her now and I am so tired of hiding it just so you'll keep having your stupid illusion of a perfect family. So there mother, I've said all I had to say, what I should have said years ago. Do your worst."
Then she walked out, Leaving a speechless Aife behind.