Chapter 11:
Callum:

It just about killed me leaving Sephy alone on the beach, but in the end I knew I had to. All I wanted to do was help up but she couldn't even bare for me to touch her. Not that I was surprised, I found myself hating Jude more and more with each moment that passed. Along with that I hated myself because as much as I tried to deny it, Sephy was right, this was my fault. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't bailed Jude out of jail. I was the one who lied to the police and got him back on the streets.

It still made me feel sick just thinking about it. I knew my family was messed up with Lynette committing suicide and Dad and Jude and me being involved with the L.M, and Dad dying because of it. But I never would've thought anything that twisted would've come out of it. If I had had even the smallest inkling I never even would've thought about helping him. I wished there was some way I could undo it, but I knew I never would be able to. I just hoped there would be some way I could make up for it, thought I didn't know how I could.

Callie Rose was practically stood right in front of me before I even noticed her there when I got to the nursery. I shook my head slightly and attempted to smile. It felt forced, but I couldn't let Callie know there was anything wrong. 'You had a good day, Baby Girl?' I asked, picking her up and carrying her out.

'Yeah' Callie Rose said with a smile. Her face turned to confusion and she asked 'where's Mummy?'

'She's…' how could I answer that? 'She's an home, she's not too well'

'Oh' Callie said, accepting my answer. 'We did finger painting today'

I inspected Callie's hand, noticing what I had completely missed when I picked her up. One hand was a mixture of blue, and yellow, while the other seemed very pink and brown, and she was holding a picture in the blue/yellow hand 'So I see. Have you painted us a nice picture?'

Callie nodded her head madly. She opened the picture and put it in front of my eyes proudly. As she did so she blinded me from where I was walking. To avoid any inevitable disasters I stopped walking to look at it. Callie had drawn the beach with Sephy, me and her stood on it. I had to blink a couple of times to stop myself crying. Callie Rose loved that beach like me and Sephy had done.

'Daddy?' Callie sounded concerned 'Don't you like my picture?' she sounded so upset and horrified at the idea that I felt guilty again.

'Of course I do, Baby Girl' I said. 'It's a great picture'

'Can I show Mummy when we get it?' Callie asked. Her voice was so excited that I didn't want to say no, but I had no choice. I couldn't let Sephy see a picture of us all at the beach, not now.

'Maybe another time' I told Callie. 'When Mummy's feeling better'. I wasn't sure when that time would come or if Sephy was ever going to be able to even look at me again, but I couldn't let Callie know anything serious was wrong. There was certain things she didn't need to know, especially not at her age.

'Ok' Callie agreed.

NC

'Is Mummy in bed?' Callie asked, the second she got into the front room and saw Sephy wasn't in there.

'Probably' I replied, not knowing for definite. What if she was still on the beach? I didn't know if it would be better for me to go and try and get her to come in if she was or just leave her. She had told me to go, but she'd still want to see Callie, right? Still I knew there was a chance she had come in and was in bed.

'Daddy' Callie complained. I turned to face her 'I said can I go and see her?'

'Best let her rest for a while' I replied. 'I'll go and see if she's up for visitors' I tried to make it sound like a joke. I tried to make it sound like every word wasn't entirely true, because I didn't know if Sephy would want anyone anywhere near her.

'Ok, Daddy' Callie said. I put the TV on, and got Callie a drink and snack before going upstairs.

I tried to open the door of mine and Sephy's bedroom but it was locked. It had the type of lock that could only be opened from the inside. It had seemed like a good idea before, it meant we could get some privacy. It also meant Callie Rose wouldn't walk in anything she shouldn't walk in on. Now though the lock seemed like such a stupid idea. It now meant there was no way I could get in. No way I could see if Sephy was all right.

All right! I had to stop thinking those words. Of course she wasn't all right. After what had happened it would be wrong if she was all right. It was such automatic words to think, but they were so inappropriate.

I knocked the door, 'Sephy please let me in' I said as softly as I could manage. She didn't answer. I couldn't hear anything in there at all. My rational mind said she was ignoring me or she was asleep. My fearful mind said that she had done something stupid in there. I tried to remain calm and listen to my rational mind, but it was hard. I had never seen Sephy the way she was on the beach before.

I knocked slightly louder, and spoke slightly louder. 'Sephy, please just unlocked the door.'. Still nothing. I sighed, trying not to let the fearful side of me take over. 'Please Sephy let me in'

I didn't notice Callie Rose coming up the stairs until she spoke 'Daddy? Why isn't Mummy letting you in?'

I turned to her, hoping my face didn't portray the worry I was feeling. 'She's probably just asleep or doesn't want to get up'

'But why'd she lock the door?' Callie asked. Before I had a chance to answer, Callie stepped passed me and banged on the door. 'Mummy? Mummy!' she continued banging on the door as she screamed 'Mummy it's Callie Rose! Please let me in! Mummy!'

'Callie shh' I tried to calm her.

She stopped banging on the door and burst into tears 'Why won't she see me?' she asked me, before turning back to the door 'Mummy please!'

'She just needs to rest' I told her. 'She'll open the door later and see you. I promise' As soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. It was a promise I couldn't guarantee I would be able to keep.

'But I want to see her now' Callie moaned. 'You gave me the wrong snack. Mummy knows how to do it right. I want Mummy.'

'Callie, please' I said. 'Mummy needs to rest, ok?'

'NO!' Callie screamed. 'S'not ok' she went back to banging on the bedroom door and screaming for Sephy.

I didn't know what to do, but in the end I didn't have to think of anything. Sephy opened the door.