I had decided I would never drink again. It had been a few days ago now, but that morning I woke up I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I looked and felt terrible. One lousy bottle of champagne had put me on my ass. Edward had a great time reminding me of the silly things I had done, or said. He tried to entice me a few nights later with another bottle, but it didn't happen. He thought it would be fun, I disagreed. I was glad I had tried it though, but it wouldn't be something I missed when I became a vampire.

We were yet to decide on a date. I thought I had been rather clever with holding off choosing a date for my change. I suggested we should wait until we returned to Forks to discuss it. I said I felt that the rest of his family should have some say in it, or at least be there when we discussed it. They would be the ones that would have to monitor me for the first 12 months while I adjusted to the new change in my body, and new diet. At first, that was just a line I come up with to get out of discussing the date. The more I thought about it though, it did make sense to involve the Cullen's, what I was saying turned out to be true. Of course Alice would see any visions of any problems that may arise. Edward seemed to agree with me, he thought I had thought everything out and had it planned to a tee. Little did he know it was the complete opposite. I hadn't planned a thing. All I knew was I wanted the change but just not yet. I already knew I would miss eating; I would miss doing things at human speed. A romantic walk along the beach wasn't romantic when you when you were running. I would miss Charlie, how long would it be before I could see him again? I would miss Edward…. I would miss how he made me feel when we were making love; it wouldn't be the same after I was changed. Maybe I was just over reacting, letting my imagination get the best of me. I had no idea what my future would be like….

I often thought of Alice and wondered if she saw my indecision. I didn't think she would. She would still see me as a vampire, as one of them. It was what I wanted ultimately, and nothing could sway me from wanting that. I had no intention of aging further then twenty, especially when my husband was forever seventeen. It was the date and time that I was unsure of. I figured Alice wouldn't think it was suspicious. I was still a vampire in her visions for the future, how and when it happened she couldn't see yet, simply because I hadn't decided yet. This was true. There was no time table on her vision. So as long as she saw the end result, all the finer details didn't matter, for now. I also wondered if it would be possible to somehow keep Edward from me while I changed. 3 days of watching me being tortured by his venom would be agony for him, and I knew he would feel guilty about it for the rest of eternity. If there was anyway I could do it without him, I would. He wouldn't like me telling him that either.

However, Alice would become suspicious if a date was set, and she still couldn't see the change happening. This was something I would have to figure it out before we discussed setting the date. I was either going to have to tell Edward I wanted to wait or just get over it, and go along with it and live with the consequences. I didn't know which option was easier and if I was honest about it, I didn't really want to think about it anymore.

Charlie had texted back, finally, after 3 days. The phone had fallen down behind the seat in the police cruiser. He'd been searching for it for days. I let him know we would be flying home on Sunday, 3 days away. Wed spend a total of 2 weeks here, 2 glorious weeks. Wed made love, had quickies, fucked, on average 3 times a day. I loved every minute of it. I couldn't get enough of him and he seemed to feel the same way I did. Every single piece of sexy lingerie that Alice had packed, Id worn and Edward had ripped. I had banned him from ripping the normal type of underwear that I had left to wear, if he carried on ripping them I was going to end up with nothing. I was impressed with Edward's control, but it hadn't gone unnoticed by me that pillows had gone missing, he'd obviously ripped them during our love making when my attention was elsewhere, and got rid of the evidence when I was sleeping. Id found the impression of his hand gouged into one of the posts of his bed. A kitchen stool had gone missing, along with the hallway door. I also noticed tiles in the shower appeared to be cracked, I was positive they were not like that when we arrived. He never mentioned it, so neither did I. I was amazed at the things I found, wondering how I did not notice tiles cracking, or hallway doors getting damaged. I was so consumed with my passion for Edward the house could burn down around me, and I probably wouldn't notice that either.

We'd explored almost every inch of the island. We'd been scuba diving, which was fun. I was however unnerved by the site of Edward diving next to me, with no goggles, no breathing apparatus, no nothing. I wasn't scared in anyway, it just seemed so unnatural. On the upside though, I couldn't wait until I could swim like that. Scuba gear was heavey and bulky and it didn't help that I was already uncoordinated. It was a struggle just to try get in the water let alone swim with it.

Since wed been everywhere on the island and there wasn't anything new to do, not that I minded of course we settled into a routine. In the morning breakfast would be cooked for me. Id go shower, Edward would usually follow this leading to our first love making session of the day. After that we would usually pack a picnic and either walk to the waterfall or back down to the log by the beach. We would swim, eat, make love, relax, read, swim again, and talk. It never got boring. Late after noon we would head back to the house. I would watch him while he cooked dinner, and I usually picked us out a movie to watch later in the evening. I would have dinner, tidy up, and then we would have a spa together. After that we would watch the movie which we never ended up watching of as we always ended up making out, which ultimately lead to sex. I think one of the times Edward led me to the room was when the hallway door must have got damaged. Life for me was peaceful and content.

Edward had tried to convince me to take advantage of the fun things to do in the games room. I had ventured into that room, but hadn't played anything. I refused to play any kind of game with Edward, unless it was a board game. I didn't stand a chance of winning a game of pool or air hockey playing with a vampire with super speed, sight and strength. When I was a vampire I so hoped I could kick his ass.

Although there was so many things I was looking forward to when I became a vampire, I still couldn't get past the fact that I wasn't ready yet, and sooner rather then later I was going to have to tell him.