So, a minor miracle has occurred. I have updated in (give or take a day) just one month. Not six this time guys…woop! I will try my very best to keep this pace up. The first part of this chapter is setting the scene for events that will follow later in the story, its staaaaarting to shape. Oh I am so excited. At this point nobody else has to be excited because I'm excited enough for everyone. This chapter (apart from the beginning) is very Bellamione centric so it was really fun to wtite, so I hope you guys enjoy it.
Omaribacache316: You are amazing for reading! I hope you continue to love the story.
Lynettecullen: I am so glad I could make the world right for you for a short time. You made my day with your review.
Mashiro09: I'm so excited that they have kissed, I can't stop writing kisses in now! I love Andromeda, I always intended her to have a decent role but she has kind of taken on a life of her own.
Waterproof88: It was my favourite chapter to write.
SH4DoW44: Wow! What else can I say?
AmelieCarter: Here is your next chapter! Right here!
Black Magic99: She will start to get suspicious soon, we see the vert subtle beginnings of it in this chapter. All of your questions will be answered I promise.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. I have just borrowed them to manipulate them for my own ends.
Andromeda flopped down next to Hermione at her table in the library with a grin on her face like a Cheshire cat. "So….you and Bellatrix?" She asked suggestively with a wiggle of her perfect eyebrows.
Hermione's expression was somewhere between an eye roll and a coy smile but she refused to look up from the book she was reading. She knew that being evasive would annoy the direct and to the point Andromeda, unlike her sister who enjoyed the game of cat and mouse, this Black hated it. "What about Bellatrix and I?"
"Oh don't you dare." Andie reached over and snapped the book Hermione was pretending to read closed. "Bellatrix is walking around with the most ridiculous smirk on her face all of the time and she has been distinctly less tense over the last few days."
"Why do you think that has anything to do with me?" Hermione asked as she leant her chin on her hand trying to look nonchalant. She had never really had many female friends throughout her life, but one of her favourites of the few that she did have was Tonks. She had always enjoyed the young woman's easy banter and her mischievous air, something that Hermione was quickly learning she had inherited from Andromeda.
"She only ever acts like this when she is courting someone and you are the only person she has been spending any time with, so it must be you." Andie said with a frown marring her features. She spoke as if this was the most obvious thing in the world; because of course Bellatrix could only be happy if she was seeing someone. "She was humming the other day. Humming Hermione!"
Hermione snorted and a genuine smile spread across her face. "She was not humming"
"Ok maybe I exaggerated there." Andie admitted as she held her hands up in surrender, a smile finally breaking its way free. "It's a funny thought though isn't it?"
Hermione raised an eyebrow as she observed the younger girl in front of her. "And did you just say courting? Really?"
"I'm posh, sue me." Andie shrugged nonchalantly, the surety in herself and the acceptance of the person that she is something else that she will pass on to her daughter in the future. "And you're changing the subject. You and Bellatrix!"
"I'm sure if your sister wanted you to know her business she would tell you herself." Hermione replied, shaking her head good naturedly. She had never had a sibling herself but she had spent enough time with the Weasley's to know that amongst brothers and sisters any piece of information could be used as fodder for future mocking. And she was not prepared to give Andie any ammunition, as funny as the repercussions could be.
"No she would not." Andie spluttered, essentially proving Hermione's thinking entirely correct. "She keeps me in the dark for as long as she can because she knows it annoys me like nothing else."
Hermione smiled warmly at that thought, Bellatrix was a wind up merchant through and through and the more she saw of this side of the girl the more attractive she found it. "Well who am I to ruin her fun then?"
"I don't think I've ever seen her this happy Hermione." Andie said, sounding suddenly much more serious. This was another thing that she found so endearing about the Black sisters, no matter how much they mocked and poked fun at one another their love for each other was clear to see. "So if you did have something to do with it, thank you. I'm glad, you both deserve it."
"I'm glad too." Hermione admitted with a dreamy smile as her mind drifted back to the ten minutes she and Bellatrix had spent together in the broom cupboard and the fifteen minutes on the Astronomy tower later that night. Oh, and the few other stolen moments they had found over the weekend when no one was looking.
Andromeda's face broke into another huge smirk and she reached across to grip Hermione's shoulders excitedly, giving her a little shake for good measure. "So something did happen?"
"Eurgh." Hermione groaned as she rubbed her hands over her face exasperatedly, she felt like she had walked straight into that one.
"You don't have to tell me." Andromeda said, emphasising the word 'tell' earnestly. "I can just guess what happened and you can nod if I'm right."
Hermione removed Andromeda's hands from her shoulders and threw the younger Slytherin a subtle glare. "I'm not playing this game with you."
"Too bad because I want to play." Andie laughed, she looked more like Bellatrix than she ever had. She glanced over at Hermione and batted her eye lashes exaggeratedly and smiled at her with her best impression of a coy smile. "Have you held hands?"
"Is that what you and Ted were doing in the courtyard the other night?" Hermione countered as she narrowed her eyes at the other girl, trying to pretend that this was annoying her.
"Yes it is, he is particularly good at holding hands." Andromeda winked across at Hermione, earning herself a full eye roll this time when the girl didn't take the bait and change the subject. "Did she tell you she likes you? …Did you tell her you like her?"
"How do you know I like her hmmm?" Hermione shrugged trying again to throw Andromeda off this train of thought. "It could just be a one way street"
"Oh please. You swoon like a Beauxbatons' girl when she's around." Andie mocked and gave Hermione a soft good natured shove.
"I am a Beauxbaton's girl. I'm practiced in swooning, we had whole lessons in it." Hermione chuckled, playing into the story she had put forward when she had arrived here.
"Shut up." Andie stated bluntly before she ploughed on with the game she was obviously enjoying a little too much. "Has she kissed you? …Have you kissed her?" She paused when she saw how Hermione's eyes darted towards her and her cheeks started to colour at her last statement. "Merlin, you kissed her! Hermione, I didn't know you had it in you. I have to admit I would have thought it would be Bella making the first move."
Hermione swallowed thickly and tried to force down the memory of the feeling of Bellatrix's lips against her own before she started speaking again. Gods, she wanted to be kissing her again right now. "Do you spend a lot of time thinking about your sister kissing people?"
Andie smirked and raised a conspiratorial eyebrow. "Narcissa and I have been taking bets on when it would finally happen, I have ten sickles riding on this."
"You really are Bellatrix's sisters aren't you?" Hermione looked her up and down as if she was just now seeing her for the first time. "Betting on when a kiss will happen, really?"
"Mostly we just do it to annoy Bella." Andie waved the comment away as if it was nothing. "Anyway, how was the kiss? Magical I assume?"
Before Hermione could respond to that sarcastic comment a deep drawling voice interrupted their conversation. "Who has been kissing who now?" Both girls' heads snapped up to see the lecherous face of Lucius Malfoy sneering down at them. Although Hermione had never met Lucius in this time she would recognise him anywhere; lank white blond hair hanging around his shoulders and that superior look in those grey eyes that he shared with Draco.
"I don't see how that's any of your business Malfoy." Andromeda spat, showing a rare unkind side to herself. "Haven't you got first years to intimidate or something?"
"Don't be so cold now Andromeda." Lucius grinned as he leant his knuckles on the desk they were sitting at and loomed over them. "You shouldn't keep secrets from family."
"You're not family." Andromeda laughed, it came out as a patronising sound. "And before you start along the 'your father has promised Narcissa to me' line, I am well aware of the arrangements between our families. You will never be my family because if I have anything to do with it Narcissa will not be marrying you."
"You and Bellatrix are exactly the same, like broken records." Lucius smarmed, acting as though he hadn't even heard the barbed comment that Andromeda had thrown his way. "If I didn't know any better I would think your defensiveness was you trying to hide something. Like maybe it is the two of you who have been kissing. And how would your father react if he found out that you had a secret girlfriend hmmm?"
Hermione couldn't stand by and watch him talk to her friend this way. Lucius was insufferable when she knew him in her own time, and it would appear that his attitude was an art he had perfected in his youth. "Are you threatening her?" she demanded in a harsh tone.
"He isn't worth getting yourself angry over Hermione." Andromeda pacified as she reached over to squeeze the bushy haired witch's hand reassuringly before turning to address Lucius again. "And you may think that you have my father in your pocket, but don't presume to know him better than I do."
"You're father loves me." Lucius said through gritted teeth. "My union with your sister is the only chance he has of any of his daughters marrying up. People are aware that you and Bellatrix are…uncontrollable."
"You have just said it yourself Lucius." Andromeda laughed humourlessly, for the second time today she reminded Hermione distinctly of Bellatrix. It was in the harsh tone in her voice as she spoke to Lucius and the determined fire in her usually kind eyes. "My father is using you, using you to cement the Black family's status into the future. He has no higher an opinion of you than Bellatrix or I do. If your family were to fall out of favour your engagement to my sister would be ended before you could say wingardium leviosa."
"That's not true." Lucius hissed as he leant further forward and got into Andromeda's face. "Narcissa loves me and it doesn't matter about the statuses of our families, she doesn't care about my name."
Hermione was impressed that Andromeda didn't back down as Lucius spat his scorn in her face. "This conversation isn't about my sister though is it? Cissy may love you but if my father says no, she will not be marrying you. She will marry whoever my father tells her too, just like Bellatrix and I will."
"It's different between Narcissa and I." Lucius demanded again, his face had started to redden and a vein had begun to appear at his temple. "She would choose me over your mess of a family."
"You have no idea who Narcissa is." Andromeda hissed as she leant forward getting in to Lucius' face, he wasn't the only one who could try to intimidate. "You may think that she is nothing like us, but she is a Black through and through. She knows exactly how to play the perfect little pureblood." Lucius stared at the Andromeda for a few moments, his lip quivered with barely controlled rage, his Adam's apple wobbled as if he wanted to say something more. But instead he just punched the table causing both girls to jump and stormed away in a billow of robes. Andromeda breathed a shaky sigh and looked at Hermione with a smug smirk. "Prick"
"I was just thinking the same thing." Hermione chucked as she threw an arm around Andromeda's shoulders and pulled her into a side hug.
By the time Bellatrix had finished towing Hermione up the staircase to the astronomy tower both girls were out of breath and panting a little. "What's the rush?" Hermione asked with a chuckled as she allowed herself to be pulled close by the Slytherin. Since their first kiss the girls hadn't really talked about what had happened, they had mocked each other about it of course and wasn't their mocking really just a form of flirting? This naturally led to further kissing, and less talking, because Hermione couldn't seem to resist Bellatrix when she had that mischievous look in her eye and that damn smirk on her lips.
Bellatrix slipped her hands inside Hermione's outer robes as she encircled her body with her arms, her fingertips savoured the feeling of the girl's warm skin through the light material of her blouse. She leant in close to whisper in her ear, "I had to be near you."
Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine as Bellatrix's breath caressed her neck and she realised how close the girl's lips were to her flesh. "Oh really and why would that be hmmm?" She teased as she leant away from the girl to look at her properly; she quickly regretted that decision when that infamous smirk appeared on the girl's face.
Bellatrix couldn't believe how beautiful Hermione was; her cheeks were pink from the run up to the tower which made all of her freckles stand out, as far as she was concerned the girl's freckles were her best quality. She had found other girls beautiful before, of course she had, but there was something different about this girl. Her beauty wasn't necessarily in her features, although they were beautiful, but it seemed to radiate out from somewhere within her. The compassion and understanding that made up her very soul was plain to see when you looked for it. She saw how Hermione's warm eyes scanned her face and she knew that this girl saw what was inside of her too, she was one of the only people who had ever truly looked for what made her who she was. "Because you're too beautiful." Bellatrix confessed before her mind had time to catch up with what her stupid mouth had just said.
Hermione smiled at Bellatrix's quiet confession and she felt her heart rate speed up as the other girl's cheeks blazed red. "I'm not beautiful." She whispered self-consciously as she marvelled, yet again, at how perfectly Bellatrix's eyelashes framed her eyes and pulled you into their smouldering depths. She breathed in the scent of Jasmine and Sandalwood that was so indescribably Bellatrix and drew strength from it. "I'm not beautiful compared to you."
Bellatrix extracted a hand from inside Hermione's robe and cupped her cheek gently, allowing her thumb to caress the girl's smooth skin. "You're right, you're not beautiful. You're radiant." She breathed, she didn't want to get ahead of herself or let her mind run away with her but she couldn't remember feeling this way about someone. She had been in relationships and cared for people, she had even believed that she had loved Rita Skeeter for a short time. With Hermione though it was something different, there was something different to her. She felt like she could trust her. She had no idea why but she felt safe with Hermione and that was not a feeling she could say she was afforded often. "If only you could see yourself through my eyes."
Seeing this softer side of Bellatrix was a privilege and Hermione knew it, which was why when the girl uttered those words her mind drew a blank. She wanted to keep up this flirty back and to, it was exciting and exhilarating and new. Ron hadn't really chased her this way; he hadn't played this subtle game of cat and mouse with her, he hadn't challenged her. They had kissed in the heat of the moment, yes that had been nice and fun and sweet, but then it felt like everyone had just assumed they were together and that was the end of it. It felt good to be pursued, to feel like she was someone's first choice rather than just their best option. She wanted Bellatrix to know how she was feeling but she couldn't really put voice to her thoughts. So, after a moment of hesitation, she closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together gently.
Before Bellatrix had really registered what was happening Hermione had kissed her and had begun to pull away from her. The kiss was soft and barely there, just the shadow of the kisses they had shared before. But this time it felt like it meant something more, it was affectionate, there was a different kind of emotion behind it. All of their other kisses had been fuelled by a hunger, a need to be near each other, a need to bring to life the frustrations that flirting around each other for weeks had created. That small, gentle, barely there kiss felt like it said more than any of the others had come close to saying. It said that they understood each other, it said that they were on the same page but most of all it said that Hermione felt the same as she did. She used the hold she still had on the other girl's face to pull them together again, this time with a little bit more force.
When their lips met again Hermione felt that all too familiar stirring in the pit of her stomach that she had begun to associate with being near to Bellatrix. The way that the girl kissed her was tender, moving her lips against her own slowly yet purposefully. The hand that still rested at her waist squeezed ever so slightly, a silent invitation that was quickly accepted as she pressed her body more firmly against Bellatrix's.
Bellatrix sighed as she felt Hermione's slight frame rest up against her, to have this girl trust her so much, to surrender to her this way made her feel powerful and weak all at once. To feel her softness between her hands made her feel like maybe her heart wasn't doomed to the blackness that she thought was its curse. Hermione's hands wove into her hair, this had become their usual resting place when they kissed, her stomach flipped a little at the thought that her hands had a usual place. Kissing each other was becoming normal for them and that meant that this incredible person wanted her back. She smiled into the kiss and felt Hermione do the same.
Hermione pulled away a little when she felt Bellatrix smile and let her eyes dart across the girl's face. Taking in how perfect she looked when she lit up like this, when she looked so free. She felt an odd pride that she was the one that had incited that look. She ran her finger nails gently across Bellatrix's scalp and smirked as the girl's eyes fluttered shut and she shuddered faintly. She crashed their mouths together roughly, their teeth clashed together but they quickly recovered when Bellatrix bit her bottom lip and groaned low in the back of her throat.
Bellatrix had been aiming for sweet and passionate with this kiss to begin with, to show Hermione that she was serious, that she wanted more than just physical. And yet here she was with her tongue battling Hermione's for dominance. But how could she do anything else when the girl was everywhere; pressed up against her body, wrapped up in her arms, invading her senses and creeping into every corner of her mind.
A tidal wave of warmth washed through Hermione's body when Bellatrix's tongue brushed over her own. Her kisses were always so unwavering, like everything that she does she is determined and prevailing. And it felt good to surrender to somebody's will the way that she could with Bellatrix, to trust her with her being and know she will respect it. When she was kissing Ron she felt like he was angling for more and she was constantly having to bat his advances away. Bella though always seemed to know just how far to go, she pushed her just far enough out of comfort zone for it to be exciting but not too far to make her feel uncomfortable. Everything was different than kissing Ron, he always smelled like smoke from the open fires of the burrow rather than the soft floral scent of Bellatrix's shampoo. Ron's chin was lined with stubble that rubbed her skin when they kissed where Bellatrix's porcelain skin felt perfect under her fingertips. Ron's hands were clumsy and rough when Bellatrix's were delicate and enticing.
Bellatrix felt Hermione's fingertips slip from her hair and trace the line of her jaw, the contact made her shudder. The other girl's parted lips pressed more firmly against her own and it stole her breath for a brief moment before the space was filled by the quiet moan that slipped from Hermione's mouth. The sound almost drove her crazy, her grip on the brunette's body tightened as she tried to bring her closer, pulling them flush together. Desire flickered deep within her, searing her body and clouding her mind. She had felt an echo of this every other time they had kissed but nothing of this magnitude. When she heard that small sound escape from Hermione it felt like all of her secret desires; of how she wanted to touch the girl's body, of the places she wanted to explore and things that she wanted to do to her, suddenly became a burning need. The intensity of it scared her, like when she duelled with Andromeda and lost control of her magic, it felt like she was on the verge of losing her control in an entirely different way.
Hermione felt a sudden wave of cold air hit her body a few seconds before she realised that she was no longer being held and no longer being kissed. Bellatrix had jumped away from her as if she had been burned. Her eyes snapped open and she blinked at the other girl a few times, registering her flushed complexion and her chest heaving as she attempted to catch her breath. The Slytherin looked back at her like a deer caught in the headlights and pressed her fingers to her swollen lips.
"Shit, I'm sorry." Bellatrix rushed out from between her fingers, she wasn't entirely sure what she was apologising for. For ending the kiss so abruptly or for thinking all of those salacious things about the girl. She felt like she had betrayed her trust somehow by wanting to turn their kiss into something else. The sound that Hermione had made played again through her mind and she thought about all of the other sounds she could draw from her. She had to squeeze her eyes shut to stop herself from imagining what the girl stood in front of her would look like stripped of her robes.
Hermione observed Bellatrix as she seemed to struggle with something, she didn't really understand what had happened. One minute they were embracing, the next she was stood on her own and there was far too much distance between them. Had she done something wrong? But then Bellatrix had been the one to apologise. Had she done something to make the Slytherin think she didn't want the same thing? Hermione tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and breathed out a small self-conscious laugh. "Do you usually end a kiss like that with an apology?"
"Yes. I mean… no." Bellatrix shook her head and ran her hand over her face before composing herself and trying again. Her heart was still pounding from being so wrapped up in Hermione and she still felt a little bit shaky. "I'm not sure that I've ever been kissed like that before."
Hermione made to reach out for Bellatrix's hand, she wanted to reassure her, but she stopped when she saw the girl draw back a little. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Merlin, no. You didn't do anything wrong." Bellatrix replied as she closed the gap she had created between them and took Hermione back into her arms. She took a deep breath; she didn't want to admit that her thoughts had been so firmly in the gutter. But she couldn't stand to see that sad look in the other girl's eyes when she thought she had done something wrong. "I just…my mind ran away with me and if I hadn't stopped kissing you then I don't think I would have been able to stop at all."
Hermione grinned at Bellatrix's confession and let her forehead drop onto the girl's shoulder. She breathed in the scent of the girl's perfume on her robes. "I still don't understand what the apology was for."
Bellatrix laughed softly as she let her fingers run through Hermione's bushy mane and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. She was glad that the other witch couldn't see the blush that crept on to her cheeks or her mortified expression. "You have no idea the thoughts that were going through my mind."
"I imagine they were similar to the things going through my mind." Hermione said, she let the tip of her nose run up the side of Bellatrix's neck, she let her lips brush against the shell of her ear as she whispered. "Bella, it's ok to want me. I'm not like the other girls you've been with, you're not going to chase me away."
"Fuck" Bellatrix shuddered as felt Hermione's sweet breath ghost across her skin, she moved her face away from her quickly before her body reacted without her minds permission. "Come on, let's go and sit down before I get entirely too carried away again."
Hermione leant in slowly and gave Bellatrix a lingering kiss on her cheek as she laughed gently. "I think I could do with some air myself."
Bellatrix took Hermione's hand and led her over to the railings where they sat down and dangled their feet over the edge. They remained sitting closely together, holding hands as they stared into the abyss for a few minutes and both attempted to recover their sensibilities. It should have felt awkward to sit there and not talk after a kiss like the one they had just shared, but actually it felt natural and safe. They were letting the moment breath, rationalising their thoughts and committing the important parts to memory.
Hermione's attention was drawn by two figures running across the grass toward the Forbidden Forest hand in hand; it was Andromeda and Ted. Even from up her you could tell they were laughing together. Ted pulled Andromeda to a halt and spun her around like a dancer, the girl's chestnut hair and full skirt swirled around her. She looked so innocent as they played around happily in the moonlight, so carefree and unrestricted by the concerns that obviously plague Bellatrix's mind. Andromeda stumbled a little but Ted caught her and pulled her against him, they laughed together again before she kissed him chastely. She twirled out of his grip suddenly and took off into the treeline of the forest; Ted hesitated for only a moment before he followed after her. Watching their exchange made Hermione's heart feel light; their love was pure and easy even in amongst all of this turmoil, even against all of the odds. She hoped that she and Bellatrix could find a small part of the peace that Andromeda and Ted had found. It shocked her that she had begun to categorise Bellatrix and herself in the same box as the obviously in love Andromeda and Ted. But that was something to obsess and worry over at a later date. Realisation dawned on Hermione; Ted… they had just seen Andromeda with the muggle-born Ted Tonks. Her head snapped over towards Bellatrix who was simply watching the spot where her sister had disappeared with a gentle smile on her face.
"Andie is going to be a mess without him over Christmas." Bellatrix said in a voice that she hoped would sound scathing but was far too soft to come across that way. She would mock Andromeda unmercifully about her relationship with Ted but really she was happy that she had found somebody that made her so content.
"She does see a lot of Ted." Hermione replied, a smile evident as she spoke. Bellatrix mood had changed and she couldn't quite gauge where it was at; she hoped that giving her some gossip on her sister would break the tension. "Not so secret evening rendezvouxs seem to be their favourite, I caught them sneaking around a few nights ago."
"She needs to start being more careful." Bellatrix stated with a subtle shake of her head, her expression still unreadable. She sighed and looked down at where hers and Hermione's hands were linked. She began playing with the girl's elegant hands, comparing the length of her fingers to her own. She analysed the little scars that littered her palms, turning her hand over she noticed that her knuckles and the back of her hand were marked too. There were so many, more than seemed normal, she wondered where on earth they could all have come from. But something told her that this was a question for another day. "My father would lock Andromeda away forever if he even heard a whisper about her spending time with a 'mudblood'."
Hearing that word come from Bellatrix's lips, lips she had just been kissing only moments ago made her feel like she had just been punched in the stomach. She forced the thoughts racing around in her brain to slow down, forced her breathing to even out. As she was counting down from five like her councillor had told her to do if she felt an impending panic attack, her mind registered something. The mocking voice Bellatrix had used when she had said that word, the way she had rolled her eyes as it slipped from her tongue. She had been reading the works of Edgar Allan Poe all of those nights ago, she hadn't even flinched when she saw her sister with Ted. Bellatrix didn't believe in it! Just like she didn't believe in any of the other vitriol that her parents spewed. The relief hit her like a sledge hammer. "You would find a way to protect her."
"I hope that I could." Bellatrix said quietly, she wanted to believe with everything inside herself that she could protect her sisters if the time should come.
"I know that you would." Hermione countered in earnest, giving Bellatrix's hand a squeeze of reassurance. Because she did know it, she knew this girl would move heaven and earth to protect those she loved.
Bellatrix sat quietly for a moment as she mulled over Hermione's comment and she thought about how much she always hated going home to her parents. She was dreading it even more this time around because it had the added element of being away from Hermione for two weeks. Their relationship, or whatever it was, felt so new. She was scared that being apart for that long at this point might set them back to square one. She always enjoyed ridiculing her sisters about pining over their boyfriends during school holidays, but she knew she would be just as bad this time. "What will you do for the Christmas holidays?" She asked quietly, as she gently traced the lines on Hermione's palm with her fingertips.
"I'll be staying here." Hermione muttered sadly as she shuddered a little under the other girl's touch. Until Bellatrix mentioned it she hadn't really thought about how quickly Christmas was creeping up on her. She couldn't believe that she had been here over two months already, it seemed like she had only just arrived and had been here forever all at once. "I…erm… I have nowhere to go so I will just join the feast here at Hogwarts."
Bellatrix looked up at Hermione and saw how she was avoiding her gaze and she knew that no matter how much the girl was trying to play it down the thought of being stuck here was upsetting her. "I know that you don't speak to your parents but do you not have any other family that you could visit?"
Hermione sighed but tried to smile reassuringly at Bellatrix she was hoping to hide just how difficult she was finding this topic but she knew that the other girl could see right through her. She wanted to block out the sadness no matter how unhealthy she knew that was. She didn't want to think about how she usually spent Christmas with Harry and Ron, swapping silly gifts that they had picked up in Hogsmeade and taking bets on which colour jumper Mrs Weasley would have knitted them this year. She didn't want to think about how much she would miss that as she woke up alone on Christmas morning. "Professor Mcgonagall is the only family I have now."
Bellatrix stopped her ministrations on Hermione's palm and reached up tilting the other girl's chin so she could catch her eye. She could see the sorrow swirling in the molten caramel of her eyes, she wanted to take it away for her but she knew the girl had to feel it. She spent so much time shutting down and blocking out what she was really feeling, slipping the mask back into place. "That's sad, it's ok to be sad."
"Yeah, it is sad. But that's just the way it is, I can't change it." Hermione sighed, she could drive herself insane focussing on how unfair everything was. But she would much rather think about how good it felt to have Bellatrix's warm hand of her own skin and to feel the girl this close to her. She couldn't believe that even when lost in thoughts of home the Slytherin could bring her such comfort.
Bellatrix swallowed thickly and let her thumb gently trace the line of Hermione's jaw. Something tightened low in her belly when the girl's eyes fluttered shut and she sighed at her touch. She knew that Hermione was being evasive about this topic that if she kept pushing the girl might just shatter but she could feel herself pressing up against the girl's walls. She knew that although they were getting closer everyday there was one last barrier, she knew that Hermione was hiding something from her. "Do you miss your family?"
Hermione's breath came out in a sound just like a sob, she squeezed her eyes shut and reached up to cover the other girl's hand with her own. She drew strength from Bellatrix's warmth, she wanted to ignore the question but this was one of the only times she felt like she could be honest about who she was. Even if it was only in a round about sense. "All the time." She admitted in a whisper.
"Could you not speak to them and try to work things out?" Bellatrix reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind Hermione's ear before enveloping the girl's face between her hands. She looked at her intently, her eyes were flecked with gold and for some reason she wanted to commit that fact to memory. She smirked in that way that she knew always made Hermione's cheek flush. "Tis the season, after all."
"Things aren't as simple as that for my family and I." Hermione tried to smile but it slipped from her features almost as soon as it appeared. She looked at Bellatrix who was studying her face in a way she never had before and she knew that something was changing between them. She wanted to share things with this girl; she wanted to talk about her thoughts and her feelings. Hermione loved the boys more than anything in the world, but Harry and Ron had never cared about her deep musings or her emotions. They just weren't wired that way. But here Bellatrix sat in front of her desperate to listen and yet she had to hold back. This was the closest they had ever come to an honest conversation. "There's no way for me to reconnect with them."
"Is it to do with your Father's job?" Bellatrix asked and she noted how Hermione's jaw clenched at the question. She assumed it was from years of having to bite her tongue whenever she was asked about her father's profession. She knew how difficult it could be to keep secrets for your family, it placed a heavy weight on such young shoulders.
"Yes and no." Hermione answered evasively, an image of her father's kind, smiling face flickered before her eyes. In her vision of him, he was wearing the expression he always did when he saw her step off the Hogwarts Express, she imagined him opening his arms for her to run into. She could almost recall his smell and exactly how it felt to be in his arms. It felt like a lifetime ago that he held her on platform 9 ¾ as she snuggled into him like a child. She remembered how she had always loved that she could feel his deep, joyful chuckle rumble through his chest before she heard it. Then she thought about her mother and how she could never wait until her father had released his daughter from his embrace before she was coming in for her own hug. She would first try in vain to smooth down her wild hair with a gentle hand, looking for any contact she could get. Before long she would lean down and kiss any part of Hermione's face that wasn't buried into her father's jumper and whisper 'You can't imagine how much I have missed you Darling'. At the time, her mother had been right; she really didn't understand what it meant to miss somebody so deeply. But now she did and broke her heart. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye, she didn't try to stop it. "Can we not talk about my parents Bella?"
"Yeah of course, sorry." Bellatrix assured gently, she reached up and wiped away the lone tear that rolled down Hermione's cheek with the pad of her thumb. She marvelled at how someone could be this beautiful when they were falling apart and how one single tear could have such a profound effect on her. Her chest had tightened and her throat felt like someone had gripped it, cutting off her air supply for a second, as she watched the evidence of Hermione's grief slip from between her lashes. A feeling she had never felt before flared up within her, was it protectiveness? Pity? Empathy? No, it didn't feel like any of those things, it was something else that she didn't have a name for yet. Hermione had asked her to stop talking about her parents, it was obviously causing her great sorrow. But the girl had never been this open with her before and she was loath to let this moment slip by, she tried a safer topic, hopefully a happier topic. "Ok so…what do you miss most about your old school?"
"This will sound stupid." Hermione muttered as she looked up at Bellatrix shyly from under her lashes.
"I hear stupid things around here all of the time, you would just be following the current trend." Bellatrix mocked, she wiggled her eyebrows in a way that Hermione thought was very Andromeda-ish.
Hermione chuckled in spite of herself and shook her head at the Slytherin, how could this girl pull her out of her own mind this easily. "I miss my cat the most. I miss having company in my dorm room in the evenings and I miss having something to snuggle up with and keep me warm on cold nights. I used to tell him all of my secrets too, he always listened and I was pretty confident he wouldn't tell anyone, although I did wonder sometimes."
"I could do those things for you y'know?" Bellatrix winked, she had let her voice drop a few octaves as she spoke. She enjoyed watching how it made Hermione squirm and her cheeks blaze with colour. She couldn't help but laugh out loud, earning herself a gentle back hand to the shoulder. "What's your cat's name?"
"Crookshanks." Hermione beamed, her cheeks still featuring a pink hue. "I loved him. I found him in a menagerie when I was in my third year and I just had to have him. He's half kneazle, he's huge and ginger and… Merlin he is so ugly, but I loved him as soon as I saw him. The owner told me that he had been in the shop for almost a year because nobody wanted him. As soon as I heard that I knew I wouldn't be leaving without him."
Bellatrix reached out a picked up a lock of Hermione's untameable mane, she rubbed the surprisingly soft hair between her fingers as she mulled over her next words carefully. "You seem to make a habit of taking on things that nobody else wants."
Hermione could tell from the sadness that glimmered in Bellatrix's eyes that she was referring to herself when she spoke of things that nobody else wanted. At night when she was plagued by nightmares of Bellatrix Lestrange, her eyes were like black bottomless wells, lifeless and consuming. But in reality Bellatrix's eyes were never the same twice. When she got lost in tales of magical history they were almost black, but never lifeless, they glowed with excitement. Other times they were the deepest brown and they danced with a mischievous glint as she flirted with her or mocked her. And then there were the times that she looked at her, like she always did just before she kissed her, when they were softer, almost as chocolate brown as her sister's but not quite. She smiled as she realised yet again that she was one of a very select group of people who was allowed this close to Bellatrix. "Well, so far that habit has served me pretty well."
"Oh is that so? And why is that?" Bellatrix muttered as she leant in towards Hermione ever so slightly. And there was that change in her eyes again, right now they seemed to flicker with flashes of orange, warm and intense like smouldering pieces of coal.
"Because it helped me to find you." Hermione admitted softly as she licked her lips slowly and subconsciously before leaning in too and closing the small distance between their lips and kissing the girl with a small contented sigh.
Thank you for reading guys and as always thank you for sticking with me. I hope you're all enjoying it, let me know what you think. Good, bad or indifferent I don't mind I just love your feedback. If you have any burning questions you can always PM me, I will always get back to you. I love hearing from you guys. Thanks again!