The TARDIS materialised and the Doctor ran out before he stopped a sighed, "No, Amy, it definitely not the fifth moon of Sinda Callista."
"Is that a Ryman's?" Star squinted down the road as she stood leaning out of the doorway.
Suddenly there was a blast from inside the TARDIS, sending her flying out and into the Doctor, both of them falling to the ground.
"Amy!" the Doctor shouted.
"Amy!" Star yelled as well.
But the TARDIS dematerialised, leaving them there, stranded.
"Amy..." the Doctor breathed.
"Jacket!" Star held out her hand for him to hand her his jacket, which he did so, confused. She rummaged through it until she found a small earpiece. "I think I know more what you have in here than even you do."
~.~
"I love you!" a slightly pump man threw the doors to his home open. His eyes widened as he saw two people he clearly wasn't expecting.
"Well that's good," the Doctor smiled, "'Cos we're your new lodgers. Do you know," he took the keys from the man and grinned at Star, "This is going to be easier than I expected!"
"But..." the man gaped at them, "I only just put the advert up today, I didn't put my address."
"Well, isn't that lucky?" Star smiled sweetly. They'd wandered around town and found a note in a shop from Amy written in red and proceeded to look for the house where this one had also had a note from Amy, written sometime in the future.
"More lucky than you know." the Doctor added, looking upstairs, "Less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur, but frankly I'm an absolute dream. And Stats a pleasure to have around," he winked at her, "Just don't get her angry."
"Oh thanks," Star rolled her eyes but looked at the man, "Seriously, though. I have a bad temper."
"Hang on, mate," the man shook his head, "I don't know if I want you staying. And give me back those keys, you can't have those!" he snatched them back.
He eyed the pair, the man had dark floppy hair, wearing a teed jacket and had a bow tie on. The girl looked more normal, a pretty young girl, blonde hair pulled back into a French braid, a pair of light blue jeans and a baggy top, she also had a pair of sandals that didn't seem to cover her feet too much.
"Yes, quite right," the Doctor agreed, "Have some rent," he handed the man a small paper bag. The mans eyes widened to see it full of cash. "That's probably quite a lot, isn't it?"
"I said it was a lot," Star remarked.
"I can never tell," the Doctor shrugged, stepping past the man and into the house, Star gave the man an apologetic smile before following. The man closing the door behind them, both Time Lords looked up as the lights flickered.
'Perception filter', Star stated.
'Has to be', the Doctor nodded before turning back to the man, "Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. Star loves sweets. Oh," he gave the man to Gallic kisses, "That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it?"
Star watched in amusement, not bothering to correct him. She shook the mans hand, "I'm Star."
"I'm the Doctor," he added, "Well, they call me the Doctor, I don't know why. I call me the Doctor too. Still don't know why."
"Craig Owens," he said, "The Doctor?"
"Yep. Who lives upstairs?"
"Just some bloke."
"What does he look like?" Star tilted her head.
"Normal. He's very quiet," there was a bang from upstairs, "Usually. Sorry, who are you again? Hello?!" but the Doctor had already gone into the flat with Star, "excuse me?"
The Doctor looked up at a corner of the room, with a stain spreading across the ceiling, "Ah! I suppose that's...dry rot?"
"Or damp. Or mildew."
"Or none of the above." Star muttered.
"I'll get some one to fix it."
"No, I'll fix it," the Doctor said, "I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rottmeister," he noticed Star grimace, "No, I the Doctor, don't call me the Rottmeister."
"This is a beautiful place you have here, Craig." Star smiled, looking around, "I can see you have impeccable taste." she winked at him.
The Doctor sat on the countertop in the kitchen area, "We can't stay, can't we? Say we can stay."
"You haven't even seen the room." Craig shook his head at them.
"The room?"
"Your room."
"My room?"
"Our room," Star corrected. They would need a place to work out what was going in, somewhere private.
"Oh, yes, our room. Take us to our room!"
He led them down the hall to the back bedroom, "Yeah, this is Marks old room; he owns the place, moved out about a month ago. An uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money."
"Really?" Star blinked
"It's only one bed mind you..." Craig trailed.
"Well I need my beauty sleep. The old man gets the floor." Star smirked at the Doctor.
The Doctor mock-glared at before before testing how springy the bed was, "This'll do just right. In fact..." he there another loud noise from above, "no time to lose. We'll take it. Ah...you'll want to see credentials" he showed Craig the psychic paper, "there...National Insurance number...NHS number...References..."
"Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?" Craig gaped.
"Star's his special favourite."
"Are you hungry?" Star asked, suddenly, "I'm hungry."
"You're always hungry."
"I'm a growing girl I need to eat."
"I haven't got anything in," Craig warned.
"Leave that to me!" the Doctor grinned and ran back into the kitchen and raided the fridge as cupboards, "You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbs! Pour tre! He grabbed the ingredients and began cooking. "So who's the girl on the fridge?"
"My friend," Craig replied, "Sophie."
"Girlfriend?" Star teased.
"A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on between us."
"Ah, that's completely normal." the Doctor nodded, though both he and Star could sense he sounded unhappy at that, "Works for me."
"We met at work about a year ago at the call centre."
"Oh, really, a communication exchange? That could be handy."
"Firms going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model. I know what they should do, I got a plan all worked out, but I'm just a phoned tons, I can't go running in saying I know what. Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you."
"I've got one of those faces. Star has too, same face. People never stop blurting out their plans while we're around."
"Right, where's you stuff?"
"Don't worry, it'll materialise, if all goes to plan."
"Was that meant to be a joke?" Star raised her eyebrows at him.
"Why?" he grinned at her, "Did you think it was...punny?"
"That's terrible!" She shook her head but the corners of her lips twitched into a smile.
~.~
Star was the first to finish her omelette after devouring it down, they hadn't eaten since before they had been thrown out of the TARDIS. "I didn't know you could cook," Star remarked to the Doctor as she sat on the chars arm, next to him.
"Well, someone needs to be able too," He grinned, though he had to admit he was growing worried, he never saw her in the kitchen, they found out she wasn't the best cooks, but he just never saw her in there, he knew she did eat of course, but it was never when people were around, of course he was concerned.
"At least I don't set toasters on fire!" she shot back.
"That was one time! You weren't even there!"
"Oh, that was incredible!" Craig smiled, leaning back on the sofa, "That was absolutely brilliant. When did you learn to cook?"
"Paris," he stated, "In the 18th century," Star slapped him, "No, hang on, that's not recent is it? 17th?" another slap, "No, no, no, 20th," he winced but no slap, "Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order."
"Has anyone ever told you you're a hit weird?" Craig laughed.
"They never really stop. Ever been to Paris, Craig?"
"Nah, I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveller."
"I can tell from your sofa."
"My sofa?"
"You're starting to look like it," Star slapped him again, "Ow!"
Craig just laughed, "Thanks mate, that's lovely! No I like it here," he fiddled with the pink keys he held in his has, "I'd miss it. Id mid..."
"Those keys?"
He blinked and looked at them, "What?"
"You're sort of...fondling them."
"I'm holding them." he defended through he set them down on the arm.
"Of course." Star smirked. "'Holding them'".
"Anyway," Craig walked over to a small table by the door and grabbed a set of keys, "These...these are you keys."
"We can stay?" the Doctor got up and met him halfway to get the keys.
"Yeah, you're weird but can cook. And Star seems normal enough," she snorted at that, "It's good enough for me," he held up the keys and went through them, "Right, outdoor, front door, your door."
"Our door. Our place. Our gaff," he took the keys, "Ha ha! Yes!" he looked at Star, grinning, "Me with a key."
"And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where, if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, yeah?" Craig winked.
The Doctor returned the wink, "Why would I want that?"
"In case you want to bring someone round. A girlfriend or...a boyfriend?"
"Oh, I will. I'll shout if that happens. Yes. Something like...I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!"
"And if that ever happens," Star glared at him, "I'll kill you." She turned to Craig, "And I wouldn't touch that rot if I were you." she walked out the room.
"Told you." the Doctor said to Craig before following Star out, speaking about her anger issues, especially when it came to him and women and flirting…ness.
She was very protective when it came to women or...things flirting with him, she didn't like it. It made him uncomfortable too, his wife may be dead, yes, but he loved her still.
~.~
The Doctor flopped down on the bed, the comm. blinking in his ear, "Earth to Pond, Earth to Pond. Come in Pond."
"Doctor!" Amy called. The Doctor winced at the feedback, "Ooh, sorry!"
"Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Pond?"
"How's the TARDIS coping?" he asked.
"See for yourself." Amy replied and they heard a strained wheezing.
"Oh, nasty." the Doctor sat up.
"Sounds like she's locked in a materialisation loop," Star explained, "Trying to land again but can't."
"And whatever's stopping he is upstairs in that's flat." Amy called, "So go upstairs and sort it!"
"We don't know what it is yet!" the Doctor argued as he stood on the bed, "Anything that can stop the TARDIS from landing is big, scary big!"
"Wait...are you scared?" Amy asked.
"No!" Star defended, "We are being cautious...for once."
"It is vital that this 'man' upstairs doesn't realise who and what we are," the Doctor agreed, do no sonicing. No advanced technology..." he looked at Star, "Easy for you, then. Hippie."
Star raised he eyebrows, "What did you call me?"
"Hippie," he grinned, before continuing on before she could snap back, "We can only use this," he tapped his earpiece, "'cos we're on scramble," he jumped off the bed and to the floor.
"All we've got to do is get you to pass as an ordinary human being."
"Simple." the Doctor grinned, "What could go wrong?"
"Have you seen you?" Amy scoffed.
"So, you're going to be snide? No helpful hints?"
"Hmm, well, here's one...bow tie, get rid!"
"Bow ties are cool," he straighten his tie, "Come on, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal bloke do."
"They watch TV," Star offered. "Fix things."
"Play football..." Amy added, "They go down the pub."
"I could do those things!" the Doctor defended, "I don't, but I could!"
Star snorted at that, "You can't fix anything!"
He stuck his tongue out at her...only for there to be a crash fro above and Amy to scream down the comm. "Amy?!"
"Doctor." Star pointed at the clocks as their hands started to spin back and forth.
"Interesting," the Doctor looked down at his watch to see the same, "Localised time loop."
"Ow!" Amy cried, "What's all that?"
"It's a time distortion."
"Whatever is going on upstairs, it's reaching the TARDIS," Star added.
"It's stopped...ish," Amy sighed in relief, "How about your end?"
"Our ends good," the Doctor nodded as the clocks went back to normal.
"So, doesn't sound great, but nothing to worry about?"
"No, no, no, not really! Just keep the zigzag plotter on full, that'll protect you."
"Ah!"
"Amy, I said zigzag plotter!"
"I pulled the zigzag plotter!" she huffed.
"Is the door behind you?" Star asked.
"Yes!"
"Take two steps to your right and pull it again!"
The grating noise dimmed and Amy sighed in relief.
"Ok," the Doctor nodded, "Now, I must not use the sonic. We've got work to do, need to pick up a few things." he turned of the comm. without saying goodbye.
~.~
The Doctor walked back to the flats, pushing a shopping trolley filled with odds and ends. Star trailed behind carrying more random items. They Doctor held the door open for Star, "Shh," he called to a cat as it meowed, "Don't get comfortable."
~.~
Craig stopped short as he saw the Doctor standing outside the bathroom, "What…what are you doing?"
"Guarding the door." The Doctor replied as though that answered everything.
"…why?"
"Star's in the shower."
"Um, ok…" he nodded slowly, "Any idea how long she'll be." The Doctor's hair was still slightly damp, and he wasn't wearing his jacket; he could only assume he had gone in before her.
"She likes a good soak." He shrugged.
Craig looked up as there was a loud banging from above, "What the hell was that?" he headed to the stairs, "Im just going to go upstairs, see if he's ok."
"No, Craig, no!" the Doctor tried to stop him but didn't want to leave the door unguarded.
"No choice…" the Doctor decided, "Its sonicing time." He put a hand over his eyes and busted into the bathroom, "Need the sonic!"
Star poked her head around the curtain, "Why did you think it was a good idea to leave the sonic in here?" She shook her head watching as he made his way over to the container the toothbrushes were kept in, one hand over his eyes, the other out front, directing him.
"Gotcha!" he grabbed what he thought was the sonic but actually a toothbrush. He ran back out.
"Doctor!" she called after him, "That's not the…" he closed the door, "…sonic." She sighed and turned the water off, stepping out and drying off, wrapping a towel around her and stepped out as Craig went to answer the phone.
"What's going on?" Star asked from the bottom of the stairs.
The Doctor turned to her, "Star!" he rushed down to her, "No you can't be out here in just a towel!" he took of his shirt and wrapped it over her shoulders.
"Ooh," the blonde woman from the picture on the fridge, Sophie, blinked as she entered and saw Star in only a towel and the Doctor shirtless. "Hello?"
"Ah! Hello! The Doctor!" he greeted, "Right. You must be Sophie."
Sophie nodded, avoiding his eyes as he gave her Gallic kisses.
"Hi." Star gave the woman an awkward wave, "Im Star."
"And she's going to go get dress…" the Doctor nudged her back into the flats.
"You're the one who barged in when I was having a shower and grabbed a toothbrush."
~.~
Craig was on the phone when the Doctor and Star entered, "No, Dom's in Malta, there's nobody around. Hang on a sec," he turned to the Doctor, "We've for a match today, pub league, we're one down if you fancy it?"
"Pub league?" the Doctor frowned, "A drinking completion?"
"He means football." Star whispered to him.
"Football. Football! Yes, blokes play football. I'm good at football, I think."
"You've save my life!" Craig patted his cheek, before speaking back into the phone, "I've got somebody. All right, see you down there. Hey, Soph."
"Hey," Sophie smiled, "I thought I'd come early and meet your new flat mates."
"Do you play, Sophie?" the Doctor asked as he drank from a carton of milk.
"No, Soph just stands on the sideline, she's my mascot," Craig said.
"Im your mascot?" Sophie sounded insulted, "Mascot?!"
"Well, not my mascot, it's a football match, I can't take a date."
"I didn't say I was your date."
"Neither did I."
"Haven't you better get changed?" Star gave the Doctor a pointed look.
"Right, yes." he nodded and handed Craig his toothbrush before going to there room to get dressed.
"Oh, the spare kits just in the bottom drawer." Craig told him.
"Bit of a mess," Star winced as they entered there room, without letting them see inside.
The Doctor poked his head back outside the door, "You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys, you must have left them the last time you came here."
"Yeah," Sophie nodded slowly, "But I...how do you know these are my keys?"
"Craig's been holding them." Star appeared.
"I have got another set."
"You've got two sets of let's to someone else's house?"
"Yeah."
"I see!" the Doctor smiled, "You must like it here too." the closed the door again.
~.~
Star took the earpiece from the Doctor and put it in her ear, speaking to Amy, "We're going out today," Star warned her.
"Where are you going?" Amy asked.
"Football!" the Doctor called, muffled as he tried to get his shirt on, "That's normal, yes?"
"Well done, that is normal."
"Yeah, football, all outdoorsy. Footballs the one with sticks, isn't it?"
"No, Doctor," Star shook her head at him, "Now go outside!"
"Why?"
"I need to get dressed myself."
"Oh!" his eyes widened, "Yes, right. I'll go guard the door."
"Good boy," Star patted his head as he passed.
~.~
The Doctor, Star, Craig and Sophie walked down the grass to the football pitch where the rest of the team were waiting. The Doctor had his tweed jacket get his uniform.
"What are you actually called, what's your proper name?" Craig asked.
"Just call me the Doctor," he answered.
"I can't say to these guys, 'Hey, this is my new roommate, he's called the Doctor."
"Why not?"
"Cos it weird."
"I like weird." Star remarked.
"Alright, Craig," a black man in the same uniform as the Doctor and Craig greeted as they walked over, "Soph. Alright, mate."
"Hello," The Doctor shook the mans hand, "I'm one of Craig's new flat mates," he gave him a Gallic kiss, "I'm the Doctor."
"Alright, Doctor. I'm Sean."
"And this is my daughter, Star."
"Hi," Star waved.
"Pleasure," he shook her hand, before turning to the Doctor, "So, Doctor, where are you strongest?"
"Arms," he blinked.
"He means on the field, Doctor." Star corrected.
"Not sure. The front? The side? Below?"
"Are you any good though?" Sean eyed him.
"Let's find out!" he grinned, giving his jacket to Star and spinning the ball on his fingers before kicking it and running out in the field.
During the match the Doctor began to upstage the other players, showing off and taking the ball off them. Soon the crowd began to chant for him.
After the match the team and friends gathered around a bench drinking beers.
"You are so on the team!" Sean cheered, "Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor, we'll annihilate them!"
"No violence!" the Doctor shouted suddenly very serious, "Not while me or Star are around, not today. Not ever. I'm the Doctor the Oncoming Storm..." he trailed off as Star shook her head at him, "And you meant bear them in a football match, didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Lovely, what sort of time?" he smiled.
Just then Craig opened a can and it soaked him, everyone one laughed...only for the same thing to keep repeating.
"Amy?" Star called into the earpiece.
"It's happening again," Amy screamed, "Worse!"
"What does the scanner say?"
"A lot of 9's. Is it good they're 9's? Tell me it's good that they're 9's!"
"Yes, yes," the Doctor called, "It's...its good! Zigzag plotter, zigzag plotter, Amy."
"Amelia?" Star called as there was no grinding noise, "Are you there? Are you ok?"
"Yes," Amy answered a moment later, "Hello."
"Ah, thank heavens," The Doctor sighed, "I thought the TARDIS had been flung off into the vortex with you inside it...lost forever."
"Don't tell her that!" Star hissed.
"You mean that can actually happen?" Amy asked, horrified. "You have to get me out of here."
"How are the numbers?"
"All 5's."
Star looked over to see the loop had ended, "5's good."
"Still," the Doctor continued, "It means the effects almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry. Hang in, ok? We've for some rewiring to do."
"And tonight." Star added.
~.~
The Doctor and Star were working on the scanner in their room when there was a knock on the door. Star gestured for him to answer it without looking up. The Doctor went to answer it, an orange traffic cone under his arm, "Hello, flatmate," he greeted.
"Hey man," Craig replied, "Listen, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you could give us some space?"
"Oh, don't mind us. You won't even know we're here." there was a loud noise from above and the Doctor looked up, "That's the idea." he closed the door on the man.
"Perfect!" Star cheered.
"What a beauty!"
~.~
"Where's this going?" the Doctor heard Sophie ask as he crept behind the sofa.
"I think that we...could..." Craig stuttered.
"Hello!" the Doctor ahead popped up behind the sofa.
"What?" Craig blinked.
"Whoops, sorry, don't worry; I wasn't listening, in a world of my own there."
"I thought you were going out?"
"Just re-connecting all the electrics, it's a real mess. Where's the on switch for this?" he held out a normal screwdriver.
"Doctor!" Star shouted as she entered, "Leave them in peace!"
"No, I don't mind," Sophie smiled, "Why would I mind?"
"I don't mind, why would I mind?" Craig countered, covering up how upset he was.
Sophie turned to the Time Lords, "Then stay, have a drink with us."
"What do we have to stay now?" the Doctor frowned.
"Do you want to stay?" Craig looks at him.
"No! We should go..." Star began the same time the Doctor said, "I don't mind."
"Ok!" Sophie grinned.
"Great!" Craig cheered, sarcastically.
~.~
The Doctor sat on the same chair from before, a mess of wires around his neck as he worked on them. Star sat on the arm, helping the Doctor.
Sophie was drinking a glass of wine on the sofa as Craig looked up at the ceiling sat next to her, "Cos life can seem pointless, Doctor," Sophie was saying, "Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's 6 billions people on the planet doing pretty much the same."
"6 billion people?" the Doctor murmured, "Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from."
"What? What do you mean by that?"
"So the call centre. That's no good? What do you really want to do?"
"Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it. I wan to work looking after animals. Maybe abroad? I saw this orangutan sanctuary on the telly."
"So why don't you go?" Star asked.
"She can't," Craig cut in, "You need loads of qualifications."
"Yeah, true," Sophie nodded, "Plus it's scary, everyone I know lives round here. Craig for offered a job in London, better money, didn't take it."
"What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London."
"Well, perhaps that you, then." the Doctor shrugged, "Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and a little bit miserable until the day you drops better than trying and failing, eh?"
"You think I'd fail?" Sophie blinked.
"Everybody's got dreams, Sophie, very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend?" the Doctor took and sip of wine before pulling a face and spat it back into the glass, "Perhaps, in the whole universe, a call centre is where you should be?"
"Why are you saying that? That's horrible."
"Is it true?"
"Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call centre all my life; I can do anything i want. Oh! Yeah! Right!" she fist bumped the Doctor, "Oh, my god! Did you see what he just did?"
"No, what's happening?" Craig shook his head, "Are you going to live with monkeys now?"
"It's a big world, Sophie. What's keeping you here?" Star smirked.
"I don't know." Sophie slowly shook her head, "Dunno."
~.~
"Ah, beauty!" the Doctor smiled at their creation they had built in their room. They'd built it with all the little bits and pieces they'd collected. He ducked out of the way as it began to spin, "Right. Shields up. Let's scan!"
"What are you getting?" Amy called.
He looked at the converted digital clock, "Upstairs. No traces of high technology. Totally normal. No, no, no, no, it can't be! It's too normal."
"Only for you could too normal be a problem."
"And that is why Star's the complete opposite of the problem." he winked at her.
"You said I could be lost forever. Just go upstairs."
"If we go up without knowing and get killed you really would be lost," Star remarked.
"If we could just get a look in there..." the Doctor muttered, "Hold on." the device stopped spinning, "Use the data bank, get us the plans if this building, it's history, the layout, everything."
"Meanwhile, we'll get a spy."
~.~
The next morning Star walked down to Craig's room carrying a tray of breakfast for him. The Doctor walked in front of e as he held the doors open for her, "Craig! Craig?" he knocked on the door, "Star managed to make breakfast."
"Oi!" she cried.
"It's normal and safe. Craig?" he opened the door, "Craig?"
They spotted Craig lying unmoving in his bed. The Doctor rushed over as Star placed the tray at the end of the bed, both kneeling next to him.
"Craig," Star groaned, "I said not to touch it."
"What's that?" the Doctor frowned as a large streak ran up Craig's arm, "A unfamiliar and obviously poisonous substance. 'Oh, I know what would be really clever. I'll stick my hand in it!' come in Craig, breathe." he pounded the mans chest and he gasped. "Come on, breathe. These are healthy footballer's lungs."
"Keep doing that," Star said as she grabbed the teapot, "Back in a sec." she ran back into the kitchen and crammed a few tea bags in the lot and made tea before running back and making Craig drink the tea.
"I've got to go to work," Craig said, hoarsely.
"On no account," the Doctor argued, "You need rest."
"It's the planning meeting, its important." he drank more tea.
"You're important. You're gonna be fine, Craig." Star assured him as he fell asleep. "I'll keep an eye on him. You take his place at the meeting."
The Doctor nodded at her and slipped out.
~.~
Craig rolled over to see it was 2:45pm he jumped out of bed in panic, "What! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
"Craig!" Star gasped as she awoke from where she had been sleeping, hunched over on his bed, having been watching him all day.
Craig ignored her and hurried to get ready for work and ran out to the office. Star having no choice but to follow him, trying to tell him that it was ok but he wasn't listening in his panic.
~.~
Craig hadn't been happy when he saw the Doctor at the call centre and had heard the he had been in the meeting. He had been even more upset to discover his boss was fond of him and Sophie had been helping him, and that the Doctor had presented a business plan, even with full credit going to him. Craig had left in a huff, while Star had stayed and waited for the Doctor before headed back to the flat.
They entered the flats and saw a cat coming down the stairs, it meowed at them, "Hello you beautiful boy," Star smiled at it, "Have you been upstairs?" it meowed, "Can you show us what's up there? Try to show me. Good boy."
"That doesn't make sense," the Doctor frowned, "Ever see anyone go up there? Lots of people? Good, good."
"What kind of people? People who never come back down. That's not good."
"Oh, hello," the Doctor looked up as Craig entered.
"I can't take this anymore!" he shook his head at them, "I want you to go!" he turned and stormed back into the flat, the Doctor rushed after him and Star followed after finishing petting the cat. Craig shoved the paper bag of rent and shoved it to the Doctor, "You can have this back and all."
"What have we done?" the Doctor frowned.
"For a start, talking to a cat."
"Lots of people talk to cats." Star defended.
"Everybody loves you," Craig continued, "You're better at football than me, and my job and now Sophie's 'Oh, monkeys, monkeys and then..." he opened their bedroom door, "There's that!"
"Its art!" the Doctor rushed in, "A statement if modern society, 'ooh, ain't modern society awful?'" he stopped it spinning.
"The three of us, it's not gonna work out. You've been here three days, the three weirdest days of my life."
"Your days will get a lot weirder if we go!"
"I thought it was a good weird, but it's not, it's..."
"Im going to how you something," Star cut him off, "General background..." She placed her temples to Craig's hand.
He gasped and pointed at the pair as he saw their past regenerations and some of their adventures. "You're..."
"Yes." the Doctor nodded, knowing what Star had shown him.
"From..." he pointed at the sky.
"Shh."
"You've got a TARDIS!"
"Yes," he motioned to his face, "11th."
"4th." Star pointed to herself. "Time for specific detail." again she placed her fingers on his temples, showing him why they were there.
"You saw my ad in the paper shop window," Craig gasped.
"Yes, with this right above it," The Doctor showed Craig the note Amy had left them, "Which is odd, because Amy hasn't written it yet. Time travel, it CAN happen."
"That's a scanner!" Craig pointed at their device. "You used non-technological technology of Lammasteen."
The Doctor clapped a hand over Craig's mouth, "Shut up!" he tapped the earpiece, "Amy!"
"That's Amy Pond!"
"You can understand us now. Hurray!" Star cheered, sarcastically.
"Got those plans yet?" the Doctor asked Amy.
"Still searching for them!" Amy replied.
"We've worked it out with psychic help from a cat," Star told her.
"A Cat?"
"Yeah, he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs."
"He's using innocent people to try and launch it." the Doctor added. "Whenever he does. They get burnt up, hence the stain..."
"From the ceiling?" Craig frowned.
"Well done, Craig. And you, Miss Pond, nearly get thrown off into the vortex."
"Lovely." Amy scoffed.
They was a loud crash from upstairs.
"Someone's up there..." Star breathed before running into the hall only to stop short as she saw familiar pink keys, "Sophie!"
Craig as the Doctor quickly followed her, "It's Sophie," Craig realised, "Its Sophie that's dying up there, it's Sophie!"
"Doctor!" Star shouted as he paused and looked up the stairs in confusion from what Amy had just told him, "Doctor!"
He shook his head and the men ran up, the Doctor quickly soniced the door open, "There is no upstairs."
"What?" she blinked as they entered...to see an advanced spaceship inside, a control panel in the centre.
"What?" Craig gasped.
"What?" the Doctor breathed, "Oh. Oh, of course! The time engine isn't IN the flat, the time engine is the flat! Someone's attempt to build a TARDIS."
"No, there's always been an upstairs."
"Has there?" Star countered, "Think!"
"Yes. No. I don't..."
"Perception filter. It's a disguise that tricks the memory."
Sophie screamed as she was pulled to the controls.
"Sophie!" Craig cried. "Oh, my God, Sophie!" he grabbed her mad to keep it from touching the glowing panel.
"Craig!" Star shouted, "It's controlling here. It's willing her to touch the activator."
"It's not going to have her!"
"Ah!" the Doctor tried sonicing the panel. Sophie screamed as she touched it, "deadlock seal!"
"You've got to do something!"
It let her go and Craig eased her to the ground.
"What? Whys it letting her go?" the Doctor looked around, spotting the dried up skeleton of the previous victim when a hologram of an old man appeared.
"You will help." it stated.
"Right! Stop! Crashed ship. Let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue, please state the nature of your emergency."
"The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. A pilot is required."
"You're the emergency crash program," Star remarked, "A hologram. You've been luring people up here so you can try them out."
The Doctor used the sonic on the hologram and it changed to a little girl, to a young man, and back to the old man.
"You will help me, you will help me, you will help me," it repeated.
"Craig!" Sophie awoke, "Where am I?"
"Hush!" the Doctor called, "Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. You're stupid, aren't you? You just keep trying."
"17 people have tried," the hologram said, "6,000,400,026 remain."
"Seriously," Sophie stood up, "What is going on?"
Star rolled her eyes, "The top floor of the building is actually an alien space ship intending to slaughter the population of the planet. Happy now? Good."
"I have a question."
"The correct pilot has been found." The hologram said.
"I had a feeling you were going to say that." the Doctor groaned.
"He means you don't he, Doctor?" Amy called.
...only for the energy beams to reach and begin to pull Star towards the panel who screamed.
"The correct pilot has been found," the hologram continued. "The correct pilot has been found."
"What's happening?" Amy shouted.
"It's pulling me in!" Star grunted as she tried to fight it, "It wants me to be the new pilot!"
"Could she do it?" Amy asked, "Could she fly the ship safely?"
"She's way to much for the ship," the Doctor shook his head, frantically trying to help, "If Star or my hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does."
"Which is why I'm trying to resist," Star added, her hand stopping inches above the panel.
"The correct pilot has been found."
"I am NOT the correct pilot," Star snapped at the hologram.
"Doctor!" Amy screamed down the comm. "It's getting worse!"
"It doesn't want everyone," the Doctor remarked, "Craig, it didn't want you!"
"I spoke to him" Craig frowned, recalling what he had said, "And couldn't help him!"
"It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. What's changed?" Star groaned in pain, and he rambled quicker, trying to stop it, "No! I gave her the idea of leaving! It's a machine that needs to leave; it wants people who want to escape! And you don't to leave. Craig, you're Mr Sofa Man."
"If you could hurry up!" Star muttered, "That'd be great!"
"Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay!"
"Craig, no!" Sophie shook her head.
"Will it work?" Craig looked at him.
"Yes!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Is that a lie?"
"Well duh!" Star rolled her eyes.
"It's good enough for me. Geronimo!" he slammed his hand in the panel and screamed as the energy coursed through him. The ship released its hold on Star.
"Craig!" Sophie gasped.
"Help him," Star whispered, as she stumbled to the ground and the Doctor ran to help her.
He nodded and ran to the humans. "Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here! Why don't you want to leave?" he slapped him to help him focus.
"Sophie!" he blurted out, "I don't want to leave Sophie! I can't leave Sophie! I love Sophie!"
"I love you, too, Craig," Sophie smiled softly at him, "You idiot!" she placed her hand on the panel with Craig causing the ship to smoke and spark.
"Honestly, do you mean that?"
"Of course I mean it! Do you mean it?"
"I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it?"
"Yes."
"But want about the monkeys?"
"Oh, not now, not again!" the Doctor groaned.
"The planets going to burn," Star reminded them, "Now for crying out loud, kiss the girl!"
"Kiss the girl!"
"Kiss the girl! Amy shouted down the comm.
The two humans kissed and were able to remove their hands from the panel.
"Doctor! You've done it. Aha, you've done it! Oh, now the screens just 0's! Now it's
Minus 1's, minus 2's, minus 3's..." Craig and Sophie were still kissing, "Big yes!"
"Help me," the hologram began to malfunction, switching through its different forms, "help me. Help me. Help me."
"Big no." the Doctor swallowed.
"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me."
"Did you switch it off?" Craig asked as he and Sophie finally stopped kissing.
"Emergency shutdown," Star winced, "It's about to implode. I think we should...Run!"
"Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me."
The group ran out of the ship and downstairs and outside as the house shook. They ran outside just in time as the perception filter dissipates to reveal the ship. Seconds later it disappeared.
"Look at them," Craig remarked as people strolled past as though nothing had happened, "Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished."
"Perception filter," Star shrugged, "There never was a top floor."
~.~
The Doctor as Star entered the room where Craig and Sophie were kissing and the couch they dropped the keys off and proceeded to leave them in peace before Craig called then back in.
"What, you're trying to sneak off?" Sophie smiled.
"Well, you were just sort of..." the Doctor began, "Busy."
Craig picked the keys up and handed them back, "I want you to keep these. Thank you."
"Thank you," he took the keys back, "Cos I might pop back soon, have another little stay."
"No, you won't. Star might," he laughed, "I've been in her head remember? But I still want you to keep them."
"Thank you, Craig."
"Sophie," Star smiled.
"Star," Sophie smiled back.
"Now then," the Doctor grinned, "6,000,400,026 people in the world. That's the number to beat."
"Yeah."
The Doctor left with a smile as Star waved goodbye.
~.~
"Back in time," the Doctor set the TARDIS in motion, "You need to go to the paper shop, leave that note for us."
"Right little matchmaker, aren't you?" Amy smirked, "Can you find me a fella?"
Star looked down at the console. It hurt to see and hear Amy making remarked about needed a man when she had Rory, even though she didn't remember him but still. "The rectifiers playing up again," she murmured, moving to another part of the control room.
"You got a pen?"
"Make sure it's a red pen." the Doctor said as he went to help Star.