"You get used to someone — start to like them, even — and they leave. In the end, everyone leaves."

― Rachel Ward

11. See

Date: April 22nd, 2009.

Location: Windom, Minnesota.

There were times when Charlie wondered if there was a point to all their efforts. In the vastness of the universe, what was one person against the tide (or, in Sam and Dean's case, two)? Smoke from Adam's pyre wafted upwards towards the stars, small pinpricks of light lost in the glow of flaming ash that was carried with it. They'd not only lost a brother, they had lost a connection to their father, their family. They had lost him before they knew him, a Ghoul having taken his place long before they received the call on John's phone.

"It's not your fault, Charlie," Beth said softly, the back seat of the Impala creaking under her shifting weight when she tried to find a more comfortable spot. They'd been sitting here a while, remaining behind in the car out of respect. Charlie couldn't face them in her failure, but Sam and Dean didn't seem to mind their choice.

Charlie didn't acknowledge Beth for a few moments, unable to take her gaze away from the dark figures by the fire. "I should have seen him for what he was."

"Your barriers were shot to hell. When you remade them, you blocked out a lot of stuff. You couldn't have known this would happen. Even the boys didn't, and they tested him. You saw it yourself."

"I should have known," she repeated. "I was born with this for a reason, and I ignore it on a regular basis."

Beth sighed. "Fine. You wanna be pedantic? How 'bout you could have known, but you didn't. You spent your life being hunted by things that knew you could see them, so you did what any person would have done; you took precautions to survive. If you'd known, and pointed it out to the boys, they may not have had any moments with their brother."

Charlie turned her head towards her cousin with a growl. "He wasn't their brother."

"No," Beth agreed, running a hand through her hair. She sighed again. "But he had his memory. He pretended so he could take his revenge, but it was still a part of that kid. And they got to see that, and they found out that they had another member of their family, even if it wasn't actually him to begin with." She gestured a hand at the window, out towards Sam and Dean, alone in the shadows before the heat of Adam's pyre. "If you had told them, they wouldn't have found his body to burn and mourn out there, because they would have killed him outright."

Charlie regarded her cousin quietly, the girl's adamant but sympathetic expression never fading under Charlie's scrutiny. Finally, she turned back to watch the boys make their way up to them, where Dean had parked the Impala by the side of an empty road. The brothers had opted to hold the funeral in the early hours of the morning.

"That could have been you down there," Beth said, into the quiet. "I would have been standing at a pyre, watching you burn."

A horrible tightness seized Charlie's chest. She swallowed against the bile rising in the back of her throat. Instead, she reached out a hand for Beth. The younger woman took it, and they sat in silence, which remained after the boys joined them. Dean turned the key, the engine roaring to life to take them away from the last remnants of John Winchester.

Date: May 3rd, 2009.

Location: An abandoned warehouse.

Beth whistled lowly. "Holy shit."

"Looks like a bomb hit the place."

"Uh, you sure this is it?" Beth asked, wincing when a set of wires nearby sparked violently.

"Yeah," Dean said absently. "Cas said to meet him here."

Charlie, the first to have entered the building, swivelled her flashlight to look around the wreck of the warehouse. The light was pointless; the place was lit up like Nanna Crivens' house on Christmas. Remnants of celestial energy drifted and coiled in the air like dust in the sun, fading slowly. An overall blast pattern was obvious and centred around something near the back of the large room. She couldn't see it clearly, though. There were bits of metal and rubble strewn across any definable path.

"Check it out," Dean said, nodding his head toward a large column to the left of where they entered, near a set of stairs. A large red symbol adorned the brick, overshot with a circlet of the same celestial energy near the center. It was surrounded by a starburst of soot. A Banishing Sigil.

Ignoring the discussion about what could have happened, Charlie wandered towards the central energy source, calling out for Castiel.

It was Dean who found the Angel. Charlie stopped cold at the sight of him. There, lying prone on a pile of debris, was Castiel, unconscious. Only to Charlie, it wasn't the Angel. There was no evidence of his presence at all, save for a fading swirl of blue-white mist clinging to his skin. There were no wings pressed underneath his back, no shield of energy, no ethereal identity that she'd come to know and understand. This wasn't Castiel.

This was his vessel.

The man woke abruptly at Dean's insistence, but he seemed confused and frightened. "No. No, no, no," he said anxiously, patting himself, before standing to take in all the damage around him.

"Cas," Dean intoned firmly.

"No, not Castiel. It's me."

"Oh Jesus," Beth whispered, hitting Charlie on the arm with the back of her hand as if to clue her in. "Is that - "

"Yeah," Charlie answered, not taking her eyes of the man. She had never met the vessel, and she was wary of his reaction. His brow creased in concern and confusion, looking between them all and what was left of the warehouse.

"Who's me?" Dean said gruffly.

"What's going on?"

"Me. Jimmy." The man deflated a bit. "My name's Jimmy."

"Where the hell is Castiel?"

Jimmy shook his head. "He's gone."

Dean shared a look with Sam, but Beth rolled her eyes. She gestured with her flashlight, narrowly avoiding shining it in the man's eyes. "That's Castiel's vessel. Cas must have been banished back to Heaven."

"So how do we get him back?" Dean asked with a frown.

Charlie gave him a slow, incredulous look. "Jesus Christ, Mr. Fucking Sensitivity." She turned away towards Jimmy with a frown. "I don't know how a vessel and Angel work entirely, so I don't know if you know me, but my name is Charlie. This is Dean, Sam, and my cousin, Beth. Now, I don't know about dickwad over here," She gestured to a scowling Dean, "but I don't really want to be in this shithole longer than I have to. Looks ready to come down, and Angels, the bad ones who managed to do this, might come back, so leaving is probably a good idea." She gave him a moment to let it sink in. "You injured?"

He blinked, glancing down and lifting a flap of his coat to inspect himself. "Uh… I don't think so. A little sore, but nothing serious."

"Good." She tilted her head in the direction they had come from. "Exit's this way. We'll get some food, rest, and we'll talk about what's happened somewhere safer."

At the prospect of food, Jimmy-the-vessel smiled and followed her without question. Charlie ignored the others, including an incensed (but chastised) Dean, and shook Jimmy's sudden proffered hand hesitantly. It wasn't as hot as Castiel's, but it was the same skin, slightly rough but dry. His grip was strong and confident. His smile was full and unhindered by strange Angelic personality. Charlie was caught off guard by it. It was devastatingly attractive, and something she'd never thought about because Cas had never truly smiled. Charlie had to force the lingering attraction she felt deep, deep down because this man wasn't Castiel. This man was unknown, and deserved a better set of thoughts than the ones she was having about his physical body.

"Jimmy Novak. And you're wrong about not knowing you. You're prominent enough in the bits and pieces of memory Castiel has left me with. Crivens, right?"

Stunned, and a little flustered at the sudden unexpected attention, Charlie finished shaking his hand and led him out. "Yeah. That's me. Glad you have something anyway." She clicked off her flashlight when they arrived outside. "It would be a bit of a disaster if we had to start from scratch."

Her, Beth, and Jimmy sat in the back of the Impala (Beth and Charlie travelling with the boys for convenience for a time) on the way to the nearest drive through for food, and then to the motel. Jimmy waited patiently until they were in the room before striding to the table to sit and consume the piles of junk food they'd bought. His look of bliss at the first bite of a burger made Charlie smirk, but Charlie squashed her feelings immediately. Her own emotional rollercoaster was a bit unstable lately, ever since the troubling idea of not being seen by a Prophet of the Lord. Plus, she still had no idea what had happened to her during nearly a month of her life. It had been a couple of weeks since then, and Charlie was no closer to understanding what was going on.

Beth had finished designing her tattoos. Unfortunately, until they could settle and apply them properly, her cousin had taken on the responsibility of researching the Seals. Charlie, meanwhile, tried to track down someone who could help find lost souls without letting on about what, exactly, they were looking for. Three had been fakes looking for money she really didn't have, and two had been stumped by her predicament. The last one had shied away from her altogether, claiming her to be a bad omen signifying the End of Days. Charlie privately thought the old woman was a crackpot.

"You mind slowing down? You're giving me angina," Dean said, watching Jimmy devour the burger.

"I'm hungry," he mumbled, shrugging and chasing the bite down with a sip of soda.

"When was the last time you ate?"

He shrugged again, mouth full. Charlie, leaning against the wall by the door, was disturbed by the lack of wings with the movement. "I dunno. Months."

They all continued to watch him start another burger, followed by a third set of fries. Dean and Sam began to ask him questions about what he remembered. Turns out, not that much. Charlie wasn't surprised. He said being possessed by an Angel was like being chained to a comet. Looking at him now, his entire form screamed 'ordinary', like a light being turned off and the fire doused to leave everyone in a cold room. She had never met a vessel outside of Anna, and even then, despite once being Castiel's superior, the Angel didn't exude the same raw power that he had.

"So what do you know?"

Charlie listened quietly when Jimmy began to talk about who he was. She swallowed and looked down when he mentioned his family. The thought had never occurred to her. All this time interacting with Cas, and she had never once thought about his vessel apart from the initial meeting about seven months ago in that warehouse.

God, she thought. Has it really been that long?

"I'm goin' out for some air," Beth announced after a minute of silence. She snagged her jacket off a bed, and strode out.

"I think we'll head out for a bit too," Dean said, nodding at Sam. They rose together.

When the door closed behind them, Jimmy turned to her. "Are they always that subtle?" Charlie huffed out a laugh, pushing off the wall to take Sam's seat. He tore open another bag, turning it around to display the contents. Grabbing a fry, he gestured with it. "Help yourself. I think I'm starting to feel full, finally."

They ate in comfortable silence for a while. Charlie wasn't really hungry, but the mechanics of chewing and swallowing were a good distraction. It wasn't until he pulled apart a burger to share with her that he spoke. "He's concerned, you know?"

Charlie paused mid bite, raising an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"Castiel." Jimmy picked at the fluff of the bun absently. He frowned in concentration. "I don't remember much overall, like I said, but when I look at you, all I feel is how he felt, I think. Does that make sense?"

She swallowed, absently working a bit of lettuce from a tooth with her tongue. "Not really, but I'm beginning to worry that an Angel was concerned about me."

He hummed, taking a bite to gather the right words. "He doesn't understand what you are," he began, circling the burger in the air.

Charlie looked away at her own food, feeling a sudden nausea settle in her stomach at the sight of the processed meat and melted cheese. "I've been hearing that a lot."

"No, it's not - I don't know how to explain. He doesn't think you're... wrong," he intoned, choosing the words carefully, deliberately, his dark eyes finding her own. "I think he's worried that, if you're something that he can't understand, can't place in this world, then there is something wrong with everything else."

Charlie cleared her throat. No one had ever said that in her entire life. Castiel. The Angel of Thursday, who seemed confused by Human Beings, thought that everything else, except her, was wrong. In the last year alone, that was the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to her. How sad is that?

"No person should be like you, and he doesn't know what to do about it." He sighed and looked back to his burger, putting it aside. "What's happening out there is his priority right now, but you're a constant thought, ready to surface at a moments notice. It's like an echo in my head. I can't quite grasp more than that. I'm sorry."

"It's… fine. Thank you. I… I don't really know what to say."

He opened his mouth, to say what, she wasn't sure, but Sam and Dean came back in with resigned looks on their faces. Whatever their little trip out for air was, they'd obviously come to some ridiculous conclusion that would only cause problems.

Turns out, they'd decided Jimmy wasn't going home.

They were right, to an extent. Just because he was a vessel, didn't mean that Others wouldn't come to pry information out of him. Whatever Castiel was going to tell the Angels was important enough to warrant destroying a warehouse to bring him back, leaving his vessel vulnerable to outside forces. Charlie thought it was lucky they had gotten to him first. Ultimately, he needed to stay safe and close should Cas decide to drop back in.

On the other hand, a little part of Charlie wanted to allow him to go home. There was a huge risk that they would be putting his family in danger, but if they all accompanied him they would have a chance to keep them safe. How long could we keep them safe from what's out there? Charlie thought. Who was to say as soon as they left, or when - or if - Castiel came back for Jimmy, that others wouldn't find his wife and daughter?

When Jimmy had been made, essentially, a prisoner of the motel room, Charlie claimed the bathroom to sit on the edge of the tub and think. Dean, when he came in to brush his teeth before he settled in for the night, told her they were thinking of bringing Jimmy to Bobby's until they could figure something out. Charlie hummed in response, but said nothing more.

When they turned in for the night, Charlie volunteered for night watch with Sam since there were not enough places to bed down. Sam seemed reluctant. Charlie watched him quietly from the corner of the room beside Jimmy's bed. He was a bit jittery, and it was hard to tell with his layers of clothing, but the dark under his skin didn't seem so prominent. When she thought about it further, she realized he hadn't been this normal in weeks.

She kept quiet for about two hours. Jimmy shifted in his 'sleep', his back facing her. She wasn't an idiot. The man was ready to bolt. It was only a matter of time and opportunity. Wondering how it would play out, Charlie began to tip her head back and close her eyes to 'sleep' as well. She guessed about twenty minutes passed before there was another sound of Jimmy turning, and then Sam trying to quietly leave the room. A few minutes later, Charlie slit her eyes open to watch Jimmy slip out the door.

Grabbing her bag, she followed, keeping a safe distance so he wouldn't spot her. He was heading for the nearest bus stop, half mile or so down the main road. She glanced around the parking lot before she left the grounds completely, unable to see Sam anywhere. If his darkness was stronger the next time she saw him, she'd confirm what Beth had said in the warehouse with Alastair about Sam and Demon blood.

It was dark enough that, when Jimmy boarded the bus, he didn't see her jog to the door while he made his way down the aisle for a seat. She dropped change into the box, grabbed her ticket, and wandered down the mostly empty bus to find him with his eyes closed and head against the glass. His trenchcoat was bunched up on his lap.

Charlie stuffed her bag under the seat and flopped beside him without a word. He startled violently, whipping his head around to check for anyone else with her. He was probably expecting Sam and Dean, but they were alone. The cabin lights dimmed, and the bus slowly pulled away from the stop. When a few minutes passed in silence, Jimmy finally found his voice. "You're not going to bring me back?"

Charlie frowned, looking down at her fingers slowly tearing up her ticket. "No."

"Why? I thought you were on their side, keeping me pri - "

"Don't," she warned, but she didn't put much heat into it. "I understand both sides." She twisted her mouth in a grimace. "That's the problem. You don't know what Hunters do. You don't know what your… visitor… has been doing." She looked up to find him watching her warily. "We don't get much opportunity for family. I thought the best thing would be to go with you, to make sure you're safe, and that your family stays safe, but… realistically? I'm a Hunter. I know what's out there. You don't want them after your wife and daughter. This is a huge risk for everyone involved. Do you understand what you're doing here?"

He frowned, then squinted at her. Charlie looked away. Too weird. "Then… why did you come? You could have let me do it alone."

Charlie shook her head. "Did you know when you left, when your body was occupied by Castiel, that you would be away this long?"

He looked away. "No."

"Then that's why. No one should do this alone." She leaned back to fiddle with the shitty heater above them. Her fingers were beginning to get sluggish and cramped. "I don't know what you'll face. I don't know what's waiting for you. Hell, I don't know if we'll even get that far, but I'm here, and I'm coming with you. Even if it's just to give you support along the way."

He grabbed her wrist, pulling her arm away from between them so he could see her face. "But - God you're freezing!"

Charlie tried to pull away, uncomfortable that people were noticing this more. Unexpected touching. "Yeah. It's fine."

When he opened his mouth, she sent him a warning look. He sighed, confused. "But why would you do this?"

Charlie sighed quietly, pressing her lips tight before dropping her shoulders resignedly. "It's late," she admonished gently. "Try and get some sleep. I'll keep watch."

"Charlie - "

"I'm trying to be nice here, Jimmy. I've done and seen horrible things in my lifetime that you couldn't even imagine." She shook her head. "I'd never want you to see them anyway. Let me be just be a Human Being escorting you safely to see your family, okay?"

He let go of her wrist, nodding carefully. "Ok. Thank you."

"No problem."

She went back to fiddling with the heater. The damn thing only sputtered out luke warm air. Typical. Jimmy turned away to watch the night outside, and when the road got too dark to see clearly, he sank into his seat. Flaring out his trenchcoat, he settled it over them both without a word. Charlie, hesitant at first, but grateful, curled her hands underneath it.

He slept for a few hours. By morning, he had donned his trenchcoat and reclaimed his seat after they both used the tiny bathroom at the back of the bus. They were nearly there.

U ok? - D

We're good. Nearly there. I assume you'll be following? - C

Yea sammys just puttin his stuff in d trunk. Hes pissed. U gonna tell me what happened last night? - D

Charlie frowned, thumb hovering over the keypad. Beside her, Jimmy was busy watching the view outside, forehead pressed against the glass. Sam went out. Jimmy took the opportunity, and I followed. - C

The response was quick and generally impersonal, and she figured Sam must have joined him. K. See ya soon. - D

Location: Pontiac, Illinois - Jimmy Novak's house.

The house was beautiful. The pathway was swept clean of snow and leaves. The paint looked fresh. Everything looked neat. For some reason, Charlie wasn't surprised. She didn't know Jimmy Novak very well, and she had never met or heard about his family, but she kind of expected the neatness. A quiet solemnity about it all.

Jimmy hesitated at the gate, his fingers fiddling with the trenchcoat pocket. He glanced at her, mouth open, but nothing emerged. Adjusting the strap of her bag, she gave him a small encouraging nod. "I'll be out here. I'm not going anywhere."

He closed his mouth with a nod. She watched him make his way slowly up the path, pausing to look at his home, and pushing onwards to ascend the stairs. She turned away to sit on the wall when he rang the doorbell. Anything else he did was none of her business, but she would stay. Exhaling to watch her breath cloud around her, Charlie waited.

They ambushed her in the dark. She should have seen it coming. Literally. She had turned away to get her scarf out of her bag - it was cold enough here for her to feel it beyond cramping fingers - when the woman tackled her off the wall. Charlie's skull cracked on a rock on the landing. Her vision blurred spectacularly fast, but she struck out with a free hand. The blow was too weak. The woman laughed. "Go on ahead. I have this one," she said to her companion. Charlie blinked hard to dispel the dizziness and saw that both parties had the grotesque faces of Demons, twisted and misshapen animals coming and going under the feathered and leathery skin.

"Fuck," Charlie gasped. She sucked in a breath, ready to bellow out Jimmy's name in warning, when the woman clamped a hand over her mouth, pressing her down into the cold snow with all her weight. With her free hand, the Demon grabbed Charlie's arm, and twisted. The grinding of bone was audible, but Charlie's scream was too muffled to be heard.

The vicious smile on the Demon was interrupted by commotion in the house. A swift backhand to the temple disoriented Charlie enough that she couldn't stop the female running towards the house.

It may have been a few seconds, or a few minutes, but when she became aware, she heard the roar of the Impala. Forcing herself up, Charlie choked when pain seared through her right arm. Stumbling towards the house, she glanced back to see Sam, Dean, and Beth. "Inside now! Get inside!" she called sharply. "There's two of them. Hurry!"

They shot past her. Charlie collapsed to one knee, unable to continue. Curling her arm to her stomach, she focused on breathing evenly. Spitting out a clot of blood onto the pale snow, she rubbed her sleeve across her eyes to focus. Jimmy came out with a young girl, Dean behind him. Dean turned back into the house once they were clear. Beth sprinted out soon after, leaping down the steps, thankfully unhurt.

Her cousin stopped beside her with a gasp. "Shit. Charlie!" Beth tried to get her up, but was unable to take her full weight. The girl hesitated, but stepped forward to help, only Charlie waved the kid away. She had probably just seen a Demon vessel get murdered. No need need to cause her more distress.

"Dad?"

"It's alright, sweetheart," Jimmy said solemnly, a hint of concern and nervousness bleeding through. "We'll help her up."

She nodded, stepping away to let Beth put Charlie's good arm over her shoulder for support. When Jimmy took hold of the other one, Charlie released a shout and nearly blacked out. He let go like he'd been burned, but quickly grabbed her around the waist instead to steer her towards the car.

Dean and Sam ran out. "Where's your wife?"

"Right here," the woman called. Charlie tried to turn her head to make sure the woman was alright, but Dean bellowed, "Let's go!" Charlie hoped he'd had the thought of grabbing her bag before they left.

They moved quickly, Jimmy supporting Charlie until his family was safely in the car. She protested going in first. "Get in, man. Beside your daughter. Now," she ordered firmly, when he hesitated. The young girl sat on her mothers lap, Jimmy slid into the middle, and Charlie had Beth sit on her lap. Her cousin protested, but Charlie knew that Beth was the lighter of them, and she was ready to pass out.

The Impala's tires squealed with how fast Dean coaxed it to speed. Charlie apologized profusely to all of them before she passed out.

Location: A quiet parking lot.

"Do you even realize what you've done?"

Charlie found it difficult to open her eyes to look at an irate Sam. Dean had opened the trunk to allow Charlie to rest on the lip. They were all outside at the back of the car to try and give Jimmy and his wife some private time to discuss their situation in the back seat. With the possibility of being concussed (and a fucked up arm) Charlie found it difficult to remain entirely upright and focused for Sam's ranting. As the minutes passed, she was steadily sagging. Sam didn't seem to care.

"Ease up, Sammy," Dean warned, frowning at his brother. He'd been eyeing Sam since he let loose on Jimmy about his family several minutes ago. Dean was tense, hands at his sides, and Charlie suspected he was getting ready to catch her should she pass out again.

"No, Dean!" Sam snapped. He waved a hand at Charlie. "She let him come here. She fucking went with him, and now his family's in danger!" He turned back to her with a furious scowl. "I thought you were smart, Charlie. What the fuck were you thinking?"

Charlie sighed, cradling her arm to her chest. She suspected a fracture, or at least a strain on the bones. She wasn't going to be using it for a while, that was for sure. "That's my business."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Sam."

"Back off, Dean. You've put a target on them, Charlie. Congratulations. You've killed Jimmy's family."

Beth, leaning on the trunk beside Charlie, kept silent. Charlie released a disbelieving laugh. "Fuck off, Mr. Not so High and Mighty. Or is it just Mr. Not so High?"

Sam froze, before a dark expression took over his features. "You don't know anything."

"I know more than you think."

"What the hell is she talkin' about, Sam?"

Sam flicked his gaze to his brother. "She's delirious."

Charlie let out a derisive, "Hah!"

Dean was getting more and more incensed. "What the hell is going on?"

"Were you hoping Cas would come back?"

Charlie frowned at the non sequitur. "What?"

Sam stepped closer, crowding her against the trunk. "That's why you went with him, isn't it? Why you went with Jimmy. You were hoping Cas would come back. You're so chummy these days."

The silence was deafening. She suspected even Jimmy and his family were listening at this point. "What the hell are you going on about?"

"There's something going on with you. Back with Chuck and all that weird Prophet mix up." He stood straighter with a knowing look on his face, but Charlie didn't think he had the right answers. He was just postulating. "You may not think I know, but I'm not blind. You're looking for something. Bobby's hinted at it. I've heard… others, talk about it. And it's got nothing to do with the Apocalypse. You're up to something."

Charlie took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I think you need to back off now, Sam. We have a lot of things to deal with right now. You need to calm the fuck down, and back the fuck off. Now is really not the time to pretend to know some secret." She pushed him away with her good hand, Dean helping by grabbing his brother's coat to pull him away.

A few minutes later, Sam was hotwiring a car for Amelia and Claire. Charlie had already climbed in the back seat of the Impala, silently working on a sling from clothing in her bag. What the fuck does Sam know about me? She thought uncharitably. So she was looking for part of her soul, big deal. It was personal, and nothing dangerous as far as she could tell.

She'd have to have a serious talk with Bobby, though. He'd promised to keep her secrets, and Sam was unpredictable right now, so she really didn't want him speculating about her. A deep throb at her temple forced her to stop thinking. It was too much right now. Injured and going on very little sleep the last day or so, Charlie focused her attention back to her injuries.

The sling finished, she rooted around her bag for a water bottle while Dean pulled the car away. Bottle in hand, Charlie tried to tear up a t-shirt so she could soak a strip of cloth. With her arm now tied up, she failed miserably.

"Here," Jimmy said gently, taking the fabric and tearing off a piece. Grabbing the bottle, he opened it, wetted the material and handed it over.

"Thanks." Swiping it across her face, Charlie grimaced at the flakes of blood that had been caked there. She needed a shower and painkillers.

I should have seen it.

Charlie clenched and unclenched her hands.

I should have seen it.

Opening her eyes, all she could see was the blur of dark gravel in a yellow halo from the lamppost outside the warehouse. A pipe next to her foot was an easy weapon. The freezing iron burned her skin when she picked it up, but Charlie ignored it in favor of beating anything inanimate in sight.

She threw all of her weight into the first swing, denting something metal that she couldn't distinguish in her release of energy. I should have seen it.

Swing after swing, every contact loud and echoing, she screamed her frustration into the night air. It wasn't until she nearly struck a concerned Beth that she stopped. The pipe dropped, sinking into the loose gravel with a thunk. Gasping for air, Charlie swallowed, only to wince at the rawness of her throat. Sweat clung to her skin, soaking through her clothes.

"Charlie?" Beth said gently, eyes and stance wary of her cousin.

"What the hell, Charlie?" Dean added, although it didn't carry much heat. He looked more perplexed at her sudden bout of crazy. Charlie was just glad that Amelia and Claire were gone, having left in the car Sam had gotten them earlier. It was hard enough to deal with the loss of a husband and father, but it was worse when his choice was either die or become a vessel for a creature that they had only just discovered. "Look, I know it got fucked up in there, but…"

"I can't do this right now," Charlie rasped, turning away from her cousin, a confused Dean, and an uncomfortable (and alarmingly) dark Sam. She walked in no particular direction, ending up near the road.

"I want to make sure you understand. You won't die or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture a hundred, a thousand more, like it."

"It doesn't matter. You take me. Just take me."

She walked along the edge of the asphalt for several minutes, before stopping to bend over and vomit. When her stomach was empty, Charlie sank to her knees, the hard and gritted blacktop dimpling her skin through her jeans. Sitting back on her heels, she swallowed the silence around her and then dropped her head back to release a short, frustrated scream.

She slumped when the fight left her. "What do you want from me? Why did you make me this way?"

A familiar feeling ran over her skin. Castiel. He stood in her periphery, in the middle of the road, watching her. "I don't know the answers."

Too tired, too angry, and too hurt to acknowledge him, Charlie had the distinct feeling he was not actually talking to her directly. A slight shimmer in the dark confirmed that he was trying to shield himself from her sight. "I should have seen it," she murmured, looking at her hands. They were red from the pipe. Castiel had healed her earlier injuries rather abruptly when he'd passed her on his way out of the warehouse. His parting shot about not having to answer to Man had stunned them all. What did they do to him up there?

What does it matter? What he did to Jimmy is unforgivable. Unfeeling. Inhuman.

Why did I expect him to be Human?

Castiel was quiet for a moment, before he slowly approached, crouching in front of her. She suspected he was debating on whether or not to indulge his curiosity. "Should have seen what?"

Staring at his shoes, she spoke quietly, keeping the answer neutral. "I should have seen what she was."

"You could not have known."

Charlie closed her eyes tightly. She should have known. She hadn't even looked at the woman. She'd passed out in the car. She'd woken in a daze, Dean ushering her out to give Jimmy some privacy, only to be chewed out by Sam before turning back to the car in a huff without a glance. She hadn't seen the Demon in the woman until they were in the warehouse, and it was too late. The bitch had shot Jimmy, Castiel had taken over his daughter, and Jimmy had pleaded to be taken instead if only to spare her. Charlie watched it all and had been helpless to do anything. What good was she? "What am I supposed to do?"

"I do not know," came the Angels reply. "My path has been corrected. I can no longer help you."

The breath left her. She had tried so hard to do the right thing. Jimmy had given her hope that she wasn't alone in her search. Charlie had even briefly considered telling Castiel everything she had found about herself when Jimmy had confided in her that Castiel was concerned.

Carefully pushing her feelings down to lock them behind her barriers, Charlie took a deep breath and stood. Turning away from the Angel as he followed her action, she could spot Beth waiting in the distance with Dean and Sam. Castiel moved to stand beside her, watching them.

Before she took the first step away to her, Charlie turned her gaze towards the Angel. It was strange seeing him possess Jimmy. It was strange that she now thought of Jimmy as a separate being. He had deserved that regard so much earlier, but she hadn't given him the respect he warranted. Now he was gone. I'm sorry, Jimmy. I fucked up.

Charlie walked away before Castiel realized she could see him, numb and exhausted.

A/N: I apologise for the late late update. A lot of personal things happened in my life, but I am slowly getting back on track now. Hope you enjoy! ZeB xx