Hey everyone! Can I just say that last night's episode was amazing, and I CANNOT wait for next week's? : ) It got me very motivated, as did DevilsDaughters' review (Thanks a ton!) And I'm in a very good mood, so why did this turn out all depressing? : ( AHHH! But it's longer then like, my past two chapters combined! And possibly another chapter up later, but only if you review! Anyways: ENJOY! : )
The Return of Avi
Stuck On Repeat
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Die.
No, I'm not totally psychotic. I'm not totally insane. I'm not totally shattering under pressure. Yeah, maybe if I tell myself that enough times, I'll actually believe it. There weren't any freaking leads. Nothing, not even a crumb. It didn't matter who I talked to, or what I did. I couldn't find anything. And the people I love are going to die because of it. Because I'm useless and stupid and naïve to think that I was safe in my perfect little world. Yeah, not shattering at all.
So I took up hunts, little things, nothing bigger then a day or so. Demons mostly. It gave me someone I can question nicely. It gave me someone I can have control over.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
A thought occurred to me today. I was turning into the Thing that took Sammy. Sammy. I was becoming cold, evil even. Like the Thing. Like Sammy was trying not to do. Sammy. Would Eli and my kids even want me back? Would I even be Nemlim by the time I find them? Would I find them at all? Sammy.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
It is all I know now. I would have pulled the trigger on myself if I wouldn't be killing Mom too. She's worried about me. Rightly so too. But she can't do anything. No one can. Not Bobby. Not Gabriel. Not Dean, nor Cas, nor Eli, nor Kacie, Will, Xander. Not Miranda because she's already dead. Not Sammy.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Hold on a second.
I found a lead.
Eat. Train. Kill. Repeat.
Eat. Train. Kill. Repeat.
I can't sleep. It would waste too much time. I need to find them. It's all I can do anymore.
Eat. Train. You have got to be kidding me.
A car, a black car. So recognizable. So familiar. So safe, warm. There is happiness attached to the car. Grief too. The Impala. Dean must be hunting again. I can see him now. Sammy too. At least, I hope it's Sammy, not the Thing. I warned them. I told them what I knew. The Thing and I are alike now. It doesn't scare me as much as it should. I'm broken. I keep my head down, and we don't meet.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
I sleep now. I have to. Almost passed out during an exorcism. I need to be more careful. I need to find them. But I can't sleep for long. An hour, two hours at most. The nightmares wake me up screaming by then.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
A man died yesterday. Boils all over his skin. It looked like an Egyptian plague. I saw the pictures. I'm going. It's something big. Big is good. Big helps me. Gives me something to kill.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Drive. Hunt.
I was becoming the things I hunted. I didn't care.
Eat. Arrive. Check in. Interrogate. Examine. Hunt.
I was right. Egyptian plague was spot on. Angel was written all over it. I should skip town. But I won't. I need to figure out what's going on.
Eat. Research. I'm screwed.
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"Oh no you don't!" the Thing told me sharply, dragging, actually dragging me into it and Dean's motel room. Bobby and Dean didn't listen to me. Looks like I'll have to kill it myself.
"Avi?" Dean gasped as I was dragged in. I glared at the Thing angrily.
"Get out of my way."
"No."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because you're scary?" Dean offered. I glanced back at him. He at least was the same. The human surrounded by monsters. Domestic life hadn't work out for him, had it?
"Good bye," I stated, knowing Dean was right. The Thing blocked my path.
"You're hunting this thing, right?" he asked me. I didn't answer. "Well then we might as well do it together."
"Please Avi?" Dean asked, pulling his own version of the Puppy Dog eyes on me. It wasn't as effective as Sammy's. Sammy. I'm going to this stupid Thing.
"No," I said plaintively. "I'm dropping this hunt. You can do it without me. It has Angel written all over it anyway. Get Cas to help you."
"Cas won't answer my prayers," it told me.
"Really?" Dean asked surprised. I looked at it amused. I'm glad that nerdy Angel was smart enough to know something was up. You have to admit, he sometimes misses the obvious things.
"Really," The Thing said. Damn, Dean was thick. Then again, he always was wherever Sammy was concerned.
"Cas! Get your feathery ass down here!" Dean shouted. We waited for a moment but he didn't show. "Come on Cas! Don't be a dick!" He still didn't come.
"Please Cas?" the Thing asked. I smiled, my first one in weeks. Of course he wouldn't come because it called. I might as well help them. I would get to leave sooner.
"Castiel," I said, "I need you."
"Yes, Avi?" he asked, appearing a few inches in front of me.
"Personal space," I reminded him gently. The Archangel took a step back.
"My apologies." Dean and the Thing stared at him with open mouths. Dean recovered first.
"Whipped," he joked. The Thing grinned as I glared at him. Cas was merely confused.
"There. I got him for you. Good bye," I said annoyed, turning to leave.
"Avi?" Cas asked, stopping me in my tracks. "Stop it. You're going to kill yourself doing this."
"What else can I do?" He didn't have an answer for that. None of them did. I glanced at the Thing as I passed. "And be sure to do some pest control, will ya Dean?"
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Drive. Get out of town as fast I can. Find another demon. Yes, that will help. Cas was right. But I knew that already. And he couldn't tell me anything else I could do. Good-bye. Cas. Good-bye Dean. Good-bye Sammy. I miss you.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat.
Always repeat. I'm stuck on repeat.
What would Eli say if he saw me like this? Oh yeah nothing. He's probably dead anyway. No! I wouldn't think like that! He's alive! He's alive. So is everyone else. But not Miranda. Oh God. I'm so sorry Miranda.
Eat. Sleep. Train. Kill. Repeat until dead.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat forever.
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"Avi! Look out!" the warning came from Mom and the Angel a moment before the vampire sunk its fangs into my neck. He was actually old fashioned. I was impressed. I didn't struggle. I just didn't care anymore. No one flashed in front of my eyes. My life didn't either. I didn't care. I was done. Just let it be over. I couldn't find them. I failed. They were dead already.
"No!" the Angel shouted. It was deafening. I had made an Angel made. Kudos to me. Brilliant light engulfed the vamp and me. An Angel's true form. The vamp burned and screamed. I was unaffected. I'm always unaffected. Lucky me.
"Thank you," Mom whispered tearfully. I was loosing a lot of blood. My eyes were closed. I didn't see who the Angel was. It was powerful though.
"Get out of here before you fry someone's brain!" I managed to get out. The light faded.
"You know, a thank you would be much appreciated," it drawled. I ignored it as I felt someone come closer to me, and kneel down. The person checked for a pulse, and sighed when it was found.
"Oh my God." Another person this time. A little farther off. Dean.
Ummm... that was dark.
Avi: Shut up.
Ummm... Review?
Avi: What did I say?
Eek! Until next time, keep reading, writing, and loving Supernatural! Bye!
-G