Harry Potter and the Demon Knights

by Potter-Pikachu

AU:5th, What do you get when you have half Demons with an attitude, a powerful young boy with a fixed destiny, two aliens who prepare for a Prophecy, two boy crazy girls, sword fighting and elemental magic? Harry Potter's darkest year yet! Read and enjoy.

11. Events at the Alley: Part 2

Potter/Pikachu: *laughs, pants, cries, starts laughing again* What's up ya'll out there! Finally, I'm – I'm…Crickey I can't even say it, I'll jinx myself.

Remus: You mean, that you've finished this long ass chapter?

Potter/Pikachu: *looks around nervously, then rushes to a table and knocks on it* Knock on wood. Phew, I'm safe now.

Sirius: *Grumbles*

Potter/Pikachu: What's wrong with you?

Remus: Oh, he's just mad cause he's dead. *smiles while patting Sirius on the back* And that I'm still ALIVE…

Sirius: *mutters* and employed.

Potter/Pikachu: Oh Sirius calm down, it's not that…serious. *sweatdrops*

Sirius: How the hell am I supposed to pay for those six Condo's I have in the Bahamas without a job like the one I had?

Remus: Bahamas!? We both had the same salary, and I could never afford six Condo's!

Sirius: Well I made about *whispers in Remus' ear*

Remus: *Eyes go wide* That hefa's been holding out on me.

Potter/Pikachu: Hey don't worry Siri, you're still on my payroll, remember?

Remus: *grumbles* Bet you've been holding out on me too.

Potter/Pikachu: Never that Moony, I'm not that kind of Authoress. *smiles innocently* Now someone hit me with a Disclaimer.

Remus: All right, I'll do it. Ahem, Potter/Pikachu does not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. They all belong to the empress of all authors, the queen of literature, and the goddess of all things that have to do with HP books.. J.K Rowling! She doesn't own Demon Knights; they belong to the great television series Tales From the Crypt. She also doesn't own any of Sisqo's, Janet Jackson's, that song from Anastasia's lyrics (twisted the words in case you haven't noticed) or any other lyrics that you recognize. The only thing she owns in this story is the plot, and the characters you don't reorganize in the fic.

Potter/Pikachu: Before I forget, a special thanks to my new Beta Reader Daelan! Who's put up with a crack whore like me for all these months and still continued to correct the endless errors in this chapter!

Potter/Pikachu: Another note: Warning, things start to get a little gory at this point, so I suggest all those that are squeamish, turn back while you still can. And for all ya'll out there with little morals, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. *laughs in a similar way of the Crypt keeper*

Potter/Pikachu: Ok Sirius. I'll give you five bucks to say the Chapter title.

Sirius: *Gapes* I don't need your stinkin' money. *grabs five dollars and pockets it anyway* But since I doubt you'll be needing that…

Sirius: Chapter 10

Events at the Alley: Part 2

"Keep it down you two!" said Mr. Weasley, trying to sound disapproving but failing as his face broke out into a grin. "People are looking at us."

The Weasley clan and Hermione were all standing in line, awaiting their seats to observe the Talent Show. Harry was the only one absent, and was also the main topic of conversation.

"Oh God…I can't…I can't stop laughing! Sorry Dad," Fred said, gasping for air. He and his twin had just related the story of Harry's "girl trouble" from earlier. Everyone was left in hysterical fits of hilarity with the exception of Percy and Mrs. Weasley, the two finding it rather inappropriate.

"Did she really think they were engaged?" Bill said, holding his gut.

George nodded, not able to speak. "You should've saw his face. He went redder then Ron's hair!"

Ron tried to look angry at the comment, but couldn't manage from so much hilarity bubbling in his stomach.

Fred patted George's shoulder, trying to string two words together, "Oh, oh, remember when the Carmen girl kept calling him mi amor?"

"Yeah! I have no idea what that means, but Harry must have. His eyes went wider then his face!"

"Its Spanish," Hermione managed between her giggles, "it means my love."

Bill, Charlie, Fred and George collapsed at that realization. The funniness of it all was simply too much.

"I know…I shouldn't be…laughing," Charlie gasped, "it's just so hard to imagine…I mean Harry…" he trailed off, resisting the urge to bang his fists on the ground.

"Harry did want nothing to do with her, right?" Ginny said, her laughter a bit more forced than the rest.

"Oh, Harry made it quite clear that he didn't want her –" Fred started knowingly.

" – But I doubt she cared much," George finished.

Ron put a playful arm around her sister's shoulder. "Don't worry, Ginny, you still have a chance with him."

Ginny punched Ron in the arm, and Hermione did the same on his other. "Hey!" Ron protested to Hermione, "What was that for?"

"Quit making fun of your sister," she said simply.

Ginny stuck her tongue out at him.

"Shouldn't Harry have been here by now?" Mrs. Weasley spoke. They were only a few people in front of them, and it wouldn't be long before they were all let in.

"He left his stuff with us," Fred nodded towards the extra bags in his hands. "But he didn't say where he was heading off to. He just started running as fast as he could."

"Trying to distance himself away from that girl," George added, "probably still running as we speak."

Mrs. Weasley fidgeted a little. Her motherly instincts were telling her that all children needed to be present, and with one missing, especially this one, she felt the worry start to creep in.

Mr. Weasley put an arm around his wife, seeing her troubled gaze. "Don't worry Molly. I'll go collect him and be back here before the show starts."

Mrs. Weasley smiled gratefully. Mr. Weasley smiled back, and then headed off in search of Harry.

************

Harry leaned against the building's wall, breathing heavily and panting like a dog. He held the stitch in his side, the pain bouncing up and down as if it were ready to burst out.

"What am I going to do?" he said quietly to himself. Harry was contemplating on the grounds of trying to find a fireplace close to his vicinity, when he recognized Romeo's signature aura closing in on him.

He pushed himself away from the wall abruptly. Running out in the open was a definite no, even if he used the crowd as a cover. Though he was short, his hair was simply too noticeable. They'd spot his tuft of locks from a mile away. He scanned his surroundings for somewhere to hide. How many places could you hide in an alley?

There was a dumpster up against the other building to his left, a trashcan on the far wall in front of him that closed the alley, and an unmarked door to his right that led inside the building he had been leaning against.

'I'll take my chances with the mystery door.' He went over to the door and opened it a crack. There was nothing but pitch black in view. As unnerving as that was, Harry went in anyway. If Romeo decided to look for him here, at least he'd have the darkness to his advantage.

'Crap, he could probably use his tail as a flashlight,' Harry thought belatedly, as he closed the door behind him. Too late now though. It was either this, or hide in the dumpster.

Harry walked blindly forward, awkwardly outstretching his hands to use as sensors. They hit up against something solid.

Suddenly the lights went on. His vision was fuzzy for a moment, eyes having been adjusted to the dark. When things came into clearer view, Harry realized he was in a dressing room of some sort. A dazzling looking bureau was on the opposite side of him, contents of used makeup on the dresser, and a huge vanity mirror balanced on it as well. A rack of costumes were to his far left, and one of those fold up stands that you got dressed behind on the side. His hands were pressed against a wall right next to a door.

The knob on the door jiggled and clicked. It flung open. Already startled, Harry spun and pressed his back against the wall, the door, thankfully, only brushing against his nose.

Three people brusquely entered, the last one about to close the door behind them but stopping when one of the others hailed him over.

"I can't do this Peatro, I simply can't do this anymore!" exclaimed a man who was about as tall as Harry, but in all appearance was obviously an adult. He was blond haired and blue eyed, and had on a leather vest without a shirt and matching leather pants. He sat down on a stool next to the bureau and stared into the vanity mirror.

The other man came up behind him. He was tall and thin, with a tight black turtle neck and extremely skin tight black pants. A French thespian hat was perched on his head in a tilted, fashionable way, and a velvety purple scarf was wrapped around his neck. The ideal version of a Drama teacher.

"Dominic, baby, sweetheart," Peatro said in a fruity voice that reminded Harry of Karkaroff. "I'm not sure I understand what you're saying."

Dominic whirled around on his stool, his feet dangling off of it, to face Peatro. "What's so hard not to understand? I just don't want to do this anymore, I'm tired of this life!"

Peatro rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. "Domy baby, we've been through this…" he turned to the third man that wasn't too far from the door way, "how many times Scott?"

The man jumped at being addressed, then glanced down at the clipboard he held in his hands. "Um, thirty six times sir."

"Thirty six times!" Peatro repeated, turning back to Dominic. "And you never mean anything about it."

"But this time I'm serious!" Dominic turned back around. "I'm sick of showbiz. I hate all of this kind of fame and attention."

'You and me both brother,' Harry thought.

"What's there not to like," said Peatro, in a confused and annoyed state. "You've got money, woman…er money."

 Dominic growled. "That's just it! I don't want all that. I'm not cut out to be a star, it's just not me, not me at all."

"Then what is you?" Peatro said dryly.

"Well," Dominic started hesitantly, "I-I've always wanted to be an…attorney at law."

"You wanna be a lawyer!?" said both Scott and Peatro.

Sweat dripped from Peatro's brow, and a panicked pitch replaced the sarcasm in his voice. "You've got plenty of lawyers Domy, what do you need to be one for?"

"Ugh, you just don't get it." Dominic sighed.

"What don't I get?" Peatro protested agitatedly. "I get that you're going through one of your 'career dreaming'," he put his fingers up in quotation, "phases again. That's it, Scott, go and call Dominic's psychiatrist through the fire, we're arranging you another appointment right after the show."

"Right away sir." Scott turned on his heels to leave, but Dominic stopped him.

"Don't bother Scott." He hopped out of his chair. Peatro and Scott stared at him strangely as he pulled out his wand from his pocket, and summoned a suitcase that was next to the rack.

"What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Dominic said as he pulled down some clothes from the rack and stuffed them into his suitcase. "I'm packing my bags."

"Why?" asked Scott dumbly.

"Because, I quit."

"What!?" Peatro rushed over to him and grabbed Dominic's shoulder. "You can't quit! You're on in five minutes!"

Dominic jerked his shoulder out of the taller man's hand. "Watch me." He walked over to where the three had come in, suitcase swinging at his side.

Peatro sputtered hopelessly after him. He scowled, and spun around with his arms crossed stubbornly. "If that's the way you want it, then fine. Ruin your career, I'm not going to watch you walk out on me." He stared at his assistant, who finally got the hint and turned around with him.

"That's fine with me." Dominic left the room and slammed the door behind him.

Harry bit his lip and held his breath to keep from gasping. The door, no longer shielding him from view, made him feel decisively vulnerable. His feet froze in his spot, not trusting himself to move soundlessly to find other cover.

"Now what am I going to do!?" Peatro burst out, flailing his arms in the air. He put a dramatic hand to his head. "Dominic was our main attraction! We'll never find anyone to replace him."

Scott patted his back reassuringly, "I'm sure you'll manage to find someone sir."

Peatro made a noise, "Not in…" he looked down at his watch, "less than three minutes!"

"You'll be okay sir…what if you tried to-"

"Scott please!" Peatro interrupted, rubbing his temples. "Just let me do the thinking and conjure up me a mochachino."

Scott sighed. He took out a wand from the sleeve of his robe and conjured a steaming paper cup filled with coffee.

"Thank you." Peatro took a sip, tapping his head with his finger, "Think, you drop dead gorgeous bastard think," he muttered to himself.

Peatro and Scott turned around, ready to leave, and stopped in mid step. The two met eyes with Harry, who waved at them sheepishly.

"Er, hello," Harry said with a nervous grin.

"Hey, how'd you get in here kid? Do you have a pass to be back here?" Scott questioned suspiciously.

"Um, well…you see…erm - "

"Oh, a wise guy eh?" Scott said before Harry could make a plausible excuse for himself, "I'm going to go get security. See if you can answer to them, smart mouth."

Harry blinked in confusion. 'Smart mouth? What's smart about erm?'

"Wait a second Scotty," Peatro spoke putting a hand on Scott's shoulder. He put a hand to his chin and walked, with his hips swaying slightly, up to Harry. He looked him up and down, "mmhmm" ing, and "Uh-huh" ing, while doing so. "What's your name kid?"

Harry eyed him uncertainly. It just didn't feel right to have a grown man in skin tight attire stare at him like that. "Harry," he said in a guarded tone.

"Mmhmm." He looked at him again. He tapped his foot, looked at him for a thoughtful second, and then made an internal decision, "Scott, I've found our replacement."

"What?" Harry and Scott said at the same time.

"You heard me." Peatro's eyes lit up in excitement. He pulled Harry in the room, and circled around him like a buzzard. "What'd you say your name was…Henry?"

"Harry."

"Right. You've got the look, the physique and a…" he snapped his fingers and looked to the ceiling, trying to find a good descriptive word, "you've got a whole – whole boy-who-lived jenne se qua about you."

Harry didn't bother correcting him on his poor excuse for attempted French dialog, or the fact that he was the boy-who-lived. All he could do was gape at the thespian like man in disbelief, wondering how he got himself into fix after fix.

"But sir-" Scott vainly tried to reason.

"Scott!" Peatro screeched, making Harry jump, as he was still facing him, "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it! Kay?"

"Yes sir," he mumbled.

"So, Jerome-"

Harry narrowed his eyes. "It's Harry," he said irritated.

"Right, what did I say?" Peatro waved a dismissive hand before Harry could open his mouth "Anyway…do you have any experience singing?"

Harry shook his head truthfully.

"Ever sang in front of a live audience?"

"Nope."

Peatro sighed, and then bent down to Harry's length so he could look him in the eye. "Have you ever sung in the shower before?"

Harry thought about it for a moment. "Uh-uh, sorry."

Peatro stayed in his position for a second. He broke into a grin and spun around, splashing hot coffee onto Scott.

He reeled back, crying out. Peatro paid no attention to him, still left in a giddy mood. "Fabulous. Only twenty-five percent of the Pop star industry can actually sing anyway."

He spun back around to face Harry again, taking a huge swig of the remainder of his coffee and tossing it to the side. It beamed Scott on the forehead, causing him to shoot an evil eye his way. Harry could tell that this was a constant recurrence between them, as Scott did very little in protesting against his employer's abuse.

"It's all about the look and attitude these days," Peatro continued, putting his hands on his hips in such a womanly fashion that Harry began to question where he stood on his gender, "and you have got all that and…"

He glanced over at Scott expectantly. His annoyed look went by unnoticed to Scott though, for he was busy trying to remove the coffee stains from his robes.

"Scott!"

Scott jumped, slightly frazzled then said as if remembering something that had been rehearsed for a decade, "…and a bag of – oh why do I always have to say it! You never make Frankey or Mona say it, and they clean the bloody urinals!"

"Scooott," Peatro said in a sing-song voice, then in a menacing undertone, "say it."

"But sir, we don't have time - "

"Say it, or you're FIRED!"

"Fine." He lowered his voice in defeat, "All that, and a bag of chips."

"Say it like you mean it," Peatro persisted.

Scott gritted his teeth, a vein pulsing at his neck. He relaxed, then got into the same position as Peatro, clipboard at his side, and fingers snapping in a frenzy, "All that, annnnd a bag of chips."

"Great, we're all good to go!" He reeled back on Harry, "but we're in need of a little fixer upper." He circled around Harry once, then came to conclusion.

"Loose the glasses, the robes, and the hair, and we're set," he said quickly.

"Wait!" Harry said as Peatro tried to snatch his glasses off, "I can't see without my glasses."

Peatro sighed, lowering his arms, "Fine, then we'll just have to - "

"And I need my hair!" Harry said, taking a cautious step back, "because…" he furrowed his eyebrows, "well it's my hair, what's there to argue?"

"He has a point sir."

"Silence Scott!" Peatro roared. He massaged a temple with one finger, the skin around his face loosening like an elephants rough skin would. "Okay! Be difficult, but at least get rid of those God awful robes."

His face turned in disgust, before Harry could do anything, Peatro whipped his wand out and stripped Harry's robes off without looking.

"Much better," he said, taking in Harry's black and blue jean-fit and fingerless gloves with satisfaction. A muggle lover, or at least of their clothing line, through and through.

"Come along now." Peatro slung his lanky arm over Harry's shoulder and led him towards the door. "Now Josh-"

"Harry," he growled.

"Right, Newton…" (Harry slapped his own forehead, growling in frustration) "…you may be going out there a star, but you're coming back a nobody."

"Don't you mean - " Scott ventured as he followed, but stopped at Peatro's sharp glare.

"What have I told you about correcting me?"

Scott sighed. "Don't."

"Good. And what am I?"

"Always right."

Peatro snapped his fingers. "Annnd…"

"A dead sexy genius."

"Damn skippy." He flung his scarf over his shoulder, and pointed while they left the room. "Onward!"

******************

Fifteen minutes into the show and the place was packed. The third act was still commencing on the stage.

Near the front, seated at a large round table were seven strictly red headed people and one brunette.

"I wonder if Arthur found Harry yet," Mrs. Weasley said, her gaze unconsciously shifting to the two empty chairs next to her. She was still a little teary from the last performance. A spectacular short version of the ballet Swan Lake, with actual Swans dancing alongside the ballerinas.

"Don't get so worried mum," Charlie reassured, "I'm sure they're on there way here right now. They might even be just stuck in the line."

"Yeah," Percy quipped, "the bouncer's might not believe they're with us."

"You're right," said Mrs. Weasley.

"Of course we are," Charlie smiled, "now stop worrying and enjoy the show."

Fred, George and Bill definitely didn't seem too worked up about their father and friend's tardiness. They were staring at the stage, entranced by the concert, and bouncing and dancing slightly in their seats to the music that was – oddly to the rest of the family – familiar to them.

"Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana

Shake that thing Miss Annabella

Shake that thing yah Donna Donna

Jodi and Rebecca"

A man, dressed in a short sleeved black jersey with Dutty Rock in blue letters in the centre, some baggy black jeans, and a black bandanna around his head, was singing into a wand, obviously having the voice volume enhancing spell magicked into it. Three woman dancers were dressed in similar attire, except the jersey was in the form of a tank top, and the pants were cut down to short-shorts. They danced along side the singer, and two men (in the same clothes as the man, only the colours switched around) danced in the back.

"Woman get busy, just shake that booty non-stop

When the beat drop

Just Swinging it

Get jiggy

Get crunked up percolate anything you want to call it, oscillate you hip and don't

Take pity

Me want fi see you get live 'pon the riddim weh me ride

And me lyrics a provide

Electricity

Gal nobody can't tell you nuttin'

Caw you done know your destiny

Sexy ladies want par with us, In a car with us, Then nah war with us

In a the club them want flex with us, To get next to us, Them cah vex with us

From the day me born Jah ignite me flame, Gal a call me name, and it is me fame

It's all good girl turn me on, 'til a early morn', let's get it on…"

"Let's get it on 'til a early morn', girl it's all good just turn me on," Fred continued to sing along.

"When have you guys ever listened to this?" Ron asked his brothers, staring particularly strangely at Bill.

"I thought this kind of music would be inappropriate for a banker," Hermione spoke what Ron was thinking.

Bill grinned. "It said specifically in my job description that if I were to listen to any type of muggle music at the bank that it couldn't be Rap, Rock, Heavy metal, Pop, R&B, Techno, Classical, Jazz, Soul, Classic Soul, Old school rap, 50's, 60's, 70,'s 80's or 90's music, Gothic – is that a genre – hell…not even Alternative." His grin widened mischievously. "But they didn't say anything about Reggae."

"I'm surprised you haven't heard this one Hermione," said George, "it comes on that radio station, what's it called Fred?"

"106.1 KUBL."

(A/N: Over here in Vallejo 106.1 is KMEL. Just for the hell of it, if anyone knows what that station is up in Briton, could ya tell me in a review or something? Back to the story!)

"Yeah, that's it! You're muggle born, don't you listen to that?"

Hermione shook her head, "My parents don't approve of that music in our house, and quite frankly, I've never really been into it myself."

Ron rolled his eyes, "Oh Hermione, you're such a stick in the mud." Hermione once again, punched him in the arm. "Ow!" then he muttered accusingly, "abusive."

"Woman don't sweat it, don't get agitate just gwaan rotate

Caw anything you want you know

You must get it

From you name a mention, don't ease the tension

Just run the program

Gal gwaan pet it

Just have a good time, gal free up unu mind

Caw nobody can dis you

Man won't let it

Caw you a the number 1 gal, wave your hand

Make them see you wedding band…"

The back up dancers started to do an intricate dance across the stage, their legs and bodies moving in extremely complicated manoeuvres. This part caught Ginny's eye, her being the most choreography literate in the family. "Mum," she whispered, her eyes glued to the stage, "do you think I could take dancing lessons next summer…just like how they're doing on stage?"

"Of course honey. As long as you keep your grades up I don't see why you can't." The dancers paired up, and began a step that involved their hips and bottoms to move in all kinds of directions that made Mrs. Weasley think twice on what she had agreed to. "On second thought Ginny, maybe you should ask your father before we make any rash decisions."

"Yo, Sexy ladies want par with us, In a car with us, Then nah war with us

In a the club them want flex with us, To get next to us, Them cah vex with us

From the day me born Jah ignite me flame, Gal a call me name, and it is me fame

It's all good girl turn me on, 'til a early morn', let's get it on

Let's get it on, 'til a early morn'

Girl it's all good just turn me on…"

The reggae singer paused, and did a series of steps that matched with the fast paced music that played on without words. All five of the back up dancers stood in a line on both sides of him where chairs appeared out of thin air. Simultaneously, they grabbed on to the back of the chairs and flipped over them. They took a seat, and kept on moving their bodies and feet to the beat. The chairs floated into the air, the dancers still moving as they were on the ground. The man stopped doing his dance, and continued singing, his voice still steady as ever:

"Woman get busy, just shake that booty non-stop

When the beat drop

Just Swinging it

Get jiggy

Get crunked up percolate anything you want to call it, oscillate you hip and don't

Take pity

Me want fi see you get live 'pon the riddim weh me ride

And me lyrics a provide

Electricity

Gal nobody can't tell you nuttin'

Caw you done know your destiny"

The chairs levitated back down onto the stage. Getting up, the dancers clapped their hands, and the singer beckoned the audience to do so as well, waving one hand in the air.

"Come on everybody!" he shouted, "Get into it now!"

Fred and George did one better. The two screeched their chairs back and hopped onto the table, dancing – disturbingly because of how synchronized they were – the same fast paced step the reggae singer had done before.

The singer grinned at the twins' enthusiasm, "That's it, just like that ya'll! Here we go – here we go – here we go now… Sexy ladies want par with us, In a car with us, Then nah war with us

In a the club them want flex with us, To get next to us, Them cah vex with us

From the day me born Jah ignite me flame, Gal a call me name, and it is me fame

It's all good girl turn me on, 'til a early morn', let's get it on

Let's get it on, 'til a early morn'

Girl it's all good just turn me on."

The twins' feet stomped hard on their table as they continued dancing like a pair of maniacs. Fellow Hogwarts students that were at different tables, cheered and roared with laughter. At their own table, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron cracked up on the floor, Bill and Charlie laughingly pretended to put money in Fred and George's belts, Percy tried to remain disapproving but still cracked a smile, and Mrs. Weasley shook her head, debating on whether she should knock her sons into their senses now or wait till they got home.

"Yo Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana

Shake that thing Miss Annabella

Shake that thing yah Donna Donna

Yo Miss Jodi and the one named Rebecca

Yo shake that thing oh Joanna

Shake that thing Miss Annabella

Yo shake that thing Miss Kana Kana

Yo Dutty Rock, yo…"

The performers, including the reggae singer, moved up to the edge of the stage, preparing their final poses as the song came to an end…

"Sexy ladies want par with us, In a car with us, Then nah war with us

In a the club them want flex with us, To get next to us, Them cah vex with us

From the day me born Jah ignite me flame, Gal a call me name, and it is me fame

It's all good girl turn me on, 'til a early morn', let's get it on

Let's get it on, 'til a early morn'

Girl it's all good just turn me on.

Yo Sexy ladies want par with us, In a car with us, Then nah war with us

In a the club them want flex with us, To get next to us, Them cah vex with us

From the day me born Jah ignite me flame, Gal a call me name, and it is me fame

It's all good girl turn me on, 'til a early morn', let's get it on

Let's get it on, 'til a early morn'

Girl it's all good just turn me on."

The music dwindled out and the lyrics faded. There was nothing left but the deafening applause from the audience and the performers bowed gratefully.

"Thank you everybody!" the man boomed above the screaming and clapping. "Before I get going, I want you all to give a round of applause to those wild twins!"

A spot light briefly shown on Fred and George. They bowed and jumped off the table, beaming at all the loud praise they were getting from the audience and their family.

"Thanks again everyone. Peace, I'm out!" Applause still rang, even as the people on stage walked to the side exit on the stage, the red velvet curtains drawing closed.

"You two are mad!" Ron said when he was able to compose himself enough to talk.

Fred leaned back in his chair, blowing his fist and admirably rubbing it on his shirt. "Ah well, every family needs at least one nut job."

"In our case, two," said George, mocking his brother's stance and looking at his nails as if they were well manicured.

"As long as there'll be no more of that happening through out the rest of the show," Mrs. Weasley said, a warning tone tingeing her voice.

"Aw but mum, how ever will we gain experience in our stripper careers?" Fred said jokingly. Mrs. Weasley gave them a look that was a mix between appalled and horrified, and seemed to be getting ready to give them the telling off of a lifetime.

"We're only joking!" George said hurriedly. "Guess that'll be off our list of things to do when we get out of school."

Mrs. Weasley narrowed her eyes, not finding such a notion planted in her children's head funny at all. "See to it that you do."

"That ladies and gentleWizards was Leqway Johnson and the Biggety Bounce crew performing to Sean Paul's: Get Busy!" A voice announced that seemed to bounce all over the walls, so no one could pinpoint where it was coming from. "The W.W.N judges are calculating the scores from a scale of one to ten. One being the lowest and ten obviously being the highest. Will Sara Willington's dance to Swan Lake keep its lead? Or will Leqway take her place on the top?"

A drum roll played in the background. The Weasleys watched in anticipation as the judges, seated at a giant desk that was just below the stage, scrawled out their choice of score with their quills on a parchment.

"One thing's for sure," said Bill. "That one stupid guy with the moose doesn't stand a chance against either of them."

That had been the opening act. And unfortunately for the guy, he had been booed off the stage only a few minutes after his routine. He had been tap dancing, extremely off beat, to Jennifer Lopez's I'm Glad, while a large brown moose stood on its hind legs and attempted to play the accordion along with the song. As soon as that moose started to do his ear splitting solo, everything went to hell.

It was the most horrible five minutes of the Weasleys' life, and Mrs. Weasley was still scolding Fred and George for not transfiguring their extra robes into rotten tomatoes and chucking it at them fast enough.

The judges flicked and swished their wands, and the three respective parchments floated into the air.

"The scores have been settled: 8, 9, and a 10 for Leqway Johnson!" the announcer read. "That gives him a total of twenty seven points, and giving him a jump off into the lead."

The crowd applauded respectfully.

The lights dimmed slightly, and a flurry of twisting spotlights shone on the closed curtains.

"Now is the moment you've all been waiting for," the announcer said as a drum roll started again. "If you loved him back in Germany then you'll love him even more here, he's been working with the W.W.N's Talent Show for several years, and you may recognize his voice from our radio station, London, give a round of applause for Dominic Cassinetta!"

Hermione held up a brochure she had purchased upon entering, staring at a picture of a blond haired blue eyed man on the front flap. "I've heard about him before, he's the interlude."

"Goes all out on the stage," Ginny added, "and he's handsome too."

The girls giggled. Ron rolled his eyes and brought his attention back onto the show.

"Oh, wait a minute, there's been a change of plans," the announcer suddenly corrected. The crowd broke in curious whispers. "Due to some misfortunate events that Mr. Cassinetta's manager would prefer to leave unsaid, Dominic will not be performing today."

"Awww's" chorused through out the room, disappointed that they wouldn't be able to see the famous Dominic.

"Don't fret ladies and gentleWizards, the show will go on," the announcer continued. "The W.W.N Talent show presents Dominic's replacement…why I don't believe this…Harry Potter."

There were gasps and excited whispers from every table except for one. The Weasleys and Hermione looked at each other, one thing running through all of their minds, What was Harry doing up there!?

"Did Harry say anything about signing up for this?" Mrs. Weasley said pointedly to Ron and Hermione.

They shook their heads, just as stumped as everyone else. By far, the second to the front table was the quietest, as the Weasleys awaited in anticipation for an explanation as to why the last member of their party was performing at the very place he had been meant to watch.

**************

"Go time," Jas said to herself as she pulled her remaining foot out of the window and onto solid ground. No one else was occupying the balcony, so there was no need for her to make any extra room for herself so that there would be no distractions.

In a few short steps Jas had crossed to the other side and looked over the railing. It was extremely high up, and with the exceptionally dimmed lighting, not even the people on stage would be able to see her. Speaking of which, a performance was currently commencing, and almost coming to an end by sound of the repeated chorus. Jas smiled a little, 'Ooh, this is my song right here.' Her smile curved downward into a frown, as a memory of Dante and Dwayne using the CD with this song on it as a Frisbee and messed it up beyond repair resurfaced. Ironically, the name of it was called Dutty Rock and a collision into an actual rock was the cause of its destruction.

Jas had already dealt with them for that, but with one of her favourite songs playing now, she felt like there needed to be more punishment in store for them. 'I think I'll set their pornography on fire when we get back,' she decided. Her smile was back, this time a bit more wicked then before.

It wasn't the song's ending, but the loud applause that brought Jas' mind back to the fact that she was up on the balcony not for the great view, but as a vantage point to snipe an extremely elusive teenager.

She unclipped her rifle that was attached to a holster on her side, and held it on her arm to give the tool of annihilation balance. She pulled out a small metal tube from her pocket and slipped it onto the barrel of her gun. Wouldn't want to make too much of a commotion. That done, she put her finger on the trigger and looked through the scope, aligning the crosshairs so it was in better focus.

Now all she needed was her miniature target.

Jas scanned the place with her scope. She checked every table but didn't see any sign of him. "Whoa, somebody's head's been set on fire," she said, as her scope lingered on a table with a whole group of read heads. "Must've stopped, dropped, and forgot to roll."

She looked around the remainder of the place and even double checked. Still nothing.

"Maybe I heard Romeo wrong," she said contemplatively, "or maybe he was mistaken and didn't see him."

"That ladies and gentleWizards was Leqway Johnson and the Biggety Bounce crew performing to Sean Paul's: Get Busy!"

"Argh!" Jas screeched, jumping. Her ears rang, the loud voice of the announcer echoing in her head. She looked for the source of the voice and saw a booth. It was far away from her, but was attached to the wall at the same level as the balcony. She jumped again as the voice rambled on about scorings and…Dominic Cassiblante? Jas was just too busy comprehending past the buzzing sound in her ear.

"…Don't fret ladies and gentleWizards, the show will go on," the announcer's voice hadn't toned down in the least, but this time Jas' head was clear enough to here what he was saying, "The W.W.N Talent show presents Dominic's replacement…why I don't believe this…Harry Potter."

The spot lights that had been dancing on their own accord before had stopped and melted into one. It shown on the red velvet curtains that hadn't been drawn open yet. "So that's where you've been hiding." Jas shrugged to herself, not wanting to figure out how he'd managed to do it, and then aimed her gun down at the stage. On the stage or off, she was mowing this kid down. "Damn, that sounds weird." Now that she thought about it, Jas had never sniped a kid before. She never had a legitimate reason to. But then again, no one had ever caused such a commotion that would bring it down to doing this either.

Jas shrugged off the thought, pulling her concentration back to her job. The aim and sight was perfect, all she needed was the target. Jas had never missed a hit in her life before, and that was a lot of hits considering her immortality. Today would be no exception.

***********

He knew he heard a door make that clicking sound when someone was trying to close it softly. Peatro had slammed the door they were going out of behind them, so it easily muffled the second sound coming from the dressing room. But Harry 'had' heard it. The softest of sounds, but he was certain it wasn't his imagination. His stomach wouldn't be clenching this way, and the foreboding power he was feeling, that were becoming large and shallow at the same time because of Peatro's constant gibberish, if it were his imagination. If that wasn't Romeo searching for him in the dressing room, then his name was Shirley Temple.

The drama thespian and his assistant led him down a hallway. Harry wanted to sway to the back of them so he could make a run for it and maybe lead Romeo elsewhere. But it seemed that Peatro saw through his plan, part of it anyway, and kept a firm grip on his shoulder to keep Harry at his side. 'I should probably try and break free and take my chances with security guards.' That was what would happen if he did run. Scott was still eyeing him disdainfully, fingering his wand in his robe pocket as if Harry was going to pull something at any given moment. He noticed his eyes settle on his scar, and put two and two together. It was obvious he knew who he was – this guy wasn't as nonobservant as Peatro – and he'd most likely taken a glance at Rita Skeeter's articles once or twice during the past year.

'That woman's turned the whole world against me.'

"…And that's all you have to do. Scott's already made the arrangements so the announcer knows what's up – right Scott, of course you did. I know it sounds a lot harder then it actual is, but my intuition is telling me that you'll steal the show." Harry tuned in to what Peatro was rambling about a little too late. They stopped at an archway that led onto a large stage. He heard a mixture of buzzing and roaring coming from behind a curtain. A huge crowd was waiting out there, and the full extent of what was going on finally hit Harry.

He'd forgotten how bad he did in front of crowds…especially the kind that involved a lot of people. Hell, the kind that involved people period!

Peatro clapped Harry on both shoulders and gave him a confidant shake. "Alright kid, go out there and break a leg."

Harry turned around, before Peatro could force him onto the stage. "Hold on a second!" he said frantically. "What am I supposed to be doing!?"

Peatro gave a loud exasperated sigh. He flipped his scarf again, and planted his fists to his hips. "Was I just talking to myself this entire time? You're going to sing Garry – "

" – Harry!"

"Ashton, one of Ginuwine's songs I believe. And you're going to give the best damn performance Peatro Jaagoen has ever managed to teach you in the span of five minutes!"

Peatro punched a mighty fist into the air to emphasize his words, drawing confidence more so for himself – only for himself – then to Harry.

"But sir. You didn't teach him anything," Scott corrected.

"That, Scotty, is not the point."

Scott narrowed his eyes. "There's a point?"

"Of course there's a point!" Peatro exclaimed. "The point is, that my greatness will enhance even more once the people realize it only took me exactly two minutes to teach an illiterate child – "

"Hey!" Harry protested angrily. "I can read! And I'm fifteen!"

"Sure you can baby, that's just some colour for the press," he muttered quickly. "Anyway, an illiterate child," – Harry rolled his eyes – "how to give an exhilarating performance, that would out shine that – that…" he slumped over, trailing off.

"Dominic, sir?" Scott finished.

"DON'T MENTION THAT NAME IN MY PRESENCE!" Peatro exploded. "From now on, we'll refer to the traitor as the one formerly known as Peatro's prodigy."

"Yes sir."

"The performance will outshine the one formerly known as Peatro's prodigy for sure." He grinned, hope gleaming in his eyes, "Oh, he'll be begging for his job back by the end of the day."

"…The W.W.N Talent show presents Dominic's replacement…why I don't believe this…Harry Potter!"

Harry's insides lurched so hard that he almost lost his footing. He felt so slow right now. Of course this was the Talent show, how many freakin' shows were in Diagon Alley!? 'I bet the Weasleys are out there right now.' What would they say when they saw him on stage, better yet, what would they do when they got home? What was he supposed to say, that after he was almost raped by two beautiful maniacal women who would do anything to gain his undying love, he ran away and met up with a gang of half demons that wanted vengeance against him for blowing up their leader twice – and regenerated back to life both times - and ended up being almost blown apart by a rogue hand grenade, and then ran into an anonymous door that led into God knows where – Ooh, wait a minute, he does know where! It's the talent show. Oh, well duh, it's The Talent Show that he was supposed to be watching as a gift for his birthday. But, as everyday things tend to happen to Harry, a gay looking theatrical dude and his slaphappy assistant just lost their main attraction so, gasp, Harry was conveniently hiding the same place it had happened and therefore had "volunteered" to take his place.

'What, are you serious? I love getting into this kind of bullshit! No, no, no, really, I consider it a hobby! That's it, I consider doing this a got. Damn. Hobby!'

Peatro squealed, "Oooh, that's your cue my boy. Now get yourself out there and make me more famous!"

Harry shouted one more, "Wait a minute!" before being shoved onto the stage. He stumbled backward, then fell on his butt…

…just as the curtain lifted.

The buzzing sound abruptly stopped, every man woman and child staring at the boy sitting on the stage. 'Oh yeah, I'm stealing the show all right.' Blushing furiously, Harry scrambled to his feet. He felt himself stiffen up, not able to move in the least. Just as he predicted, the Weasleys and Hermione were at a table in the second row, all of them staring at him slack jawed. He gave them a little wave, smiling sheepishly. He put it down when he didn't get a similar response.

Harry thought he heard crickets chirping it was so quiet. Sweat started to drip down from his brow. Wasn't something supposed to be happening? Music, anything!? He looked over to Peatro and Scott for some sort of instruction. They were still standing by the archway. Peatro was furiously signing with his hands for him to do something. Harry retorted in the same manner, mouthing, "What do I do?"

"Sing!" he hissed, bouncing up and down on his toes.

"With what!?"

Peatro slapped his forehead. Grinding his teeth, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand, tossing it over to Harry. He caught it with both hands. Instead of his finger tips singeing to a crisp, some music emitting from nowhere started.

He jumped a little. He recognized the song; it was a good thing to because he didn't listen to a lot of Ginuwine's music. But this one played a lot on the radio, and when that happened to you, whether you wanted to or not, you memorized it by the end of a week.

"You know what, baby
I need to tell you something," A man spoke poetically to the music, Ginuwine himself. It was the introduction, not the actual song. This was madness! He couldn't sing in front of all these people, especially since he didn't know how to sing…very well that is. The music still going on, Harry, his arms stuck at his sides, ebbed back over to the archway.

He tried to make a break for it, but Scott and Peatro caught him and, together, shoved him back on stage. Harry teetered mildly but contained his footing. He angrily whispered and gestured with his hands his disagreement to this, and Peatro did the same, except he was telling Harry to "get on with the show."

Harry finally gave up, and looked back to the crowd. He smiled nervously again and a few people chuckled, thinking it was a part of the act.

"And...it's something very important
You know...
I want you to take this time out and just listen
And hold me close
You hear me?"

Harry closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, putting the wand he was substituting for a microphone close to his face. 'Please God, give me a break for a minute would you and don't let me screw up,' he silently prayed. With the nervousness he was feeling now, all thoughts of the Weasleys reactions and Romeo's hunt for him temporarily forgotten, as the teenage part of him that had been locked deep within him for quite some time came out and concentrated on not making a fool of himself.

'Fuck it,' Harry thought, 'I'm doing this.' And he dove.

"Can I have you for a minute
Don't get shy, 'cuz my heart's in it (When I say)
You got me strung out
I don't know, and I can't call it
But whatever it is you've got it (Naw babe)
Without a doubt, yeah…"

Harry's lungs exploded with sound and his voice uttered out the words. It felt nice to be singing like this. Not the funny way that he and Sirius did, but actually trying, putting his soul into it and feeling harmonized with the tune. He supposed it sounded nice to the audience too. He couldn't be sure though, and didn't want to find out. Their silence could be from awed fascination or awed disgust.

"…Never been the one to cling
And I don't like to be needed (But now)
I guess that's all changed
That's why I get mad at your foes
'Cuz I don't want you to go (Naw babe)
I want you to stay…"

Harry loosened up more when he finished the first verse. He unclenched a hand off the wand, and slowly began to move into a dance, still singing. His feet glided across the stage, doing the regulator, then stopped at the side.

"…You can say I'm trippin' but I'm stingy, and I can't hide it…" He spun around. "Wanna keep you all to me, I'm selfish, why try to fight it…" He quickly opened his jean coat and flipped it closed just as fast. "You're the only one, with the only love, that's strong enough to claim me…" He kicked his foot out, and rolled his abdomen. "So please forgive me, I'm just stingy, but how can you blame me."

Girlish squeals sounded throughout the audience, both high and low pitch, indicating older woman joining in the praise too. That wasn't what made Harry's eyes snap open. A whistling…no, more like Phsh sound had caught his attention. He crossed back over to the side with a wide spin, looking at the small, perfectly circular hole on the curtain that was exactly aligned with his head. It didn't take long for him to figure out what would make such a precise hole like that.

Harry looked over the crowd for any sign of horns and a sniper rifle. A laser lock on crawled up his leg, and he didn't notice it until the red dot shuddered on his chest. He had about a few seconds to see the beginning point of the laser lead up to a high balcony at the back of the theatre.

Phsh!

Harry bent backwards, the upper half of his body rolling down to the beat while his feet stayed planted to the ground. The entire crowd clapped loudly this time. Well, if evading bullets was going to look like dancing, then what better time for it to happen then now?

"(Listen) Baby, tell me how you do it
'Cuz you got me so into it
I'm gone, but I don't understand…" Another bullet whizzed by. He dodged it by sailing to the side. The sniper seemed to be following his pattern, so it was a close call indeed when another bullet came right after that one. He ran a little, and slid on his knees, letting the second bullet fly over his head, and clipping the tips of his hair. 'There go my split ends.'

"…So amazing, captivating, elevating
Any way you try to put it, I wanna be your man…" He stayed down on his knees at the centre of the stage, moving his head side to side to dodge two quickly paced bullets that were aimed there.

"…So if you (if you wanna put me on)
I don't mind it's alright, I'm for it
I would so adore it…" Harry pressed his free palm to the stage's ground, pushed himself up, and kicked his legs out. A bullet ricocheted safely under him, but only by a few inches. He flipped himself in a strange tumble to the side, landing crouched, just as a bullet passed by that spot. His sniper was getting aggressive.

"…Nothing turns me on more than being with you
Baby, I'm not trippin'!"

Harry stood up and back flipped several times, the bullets ensuring his fast feet. He ran into the curtain, no more stage to back up on. He dove to the side and rolled up, resting on one knee. The crowd went wild. They still thought he was just dancing. And probably would stay unaware of the actual circumstances going on, as long as the Devlin kept that silencer in check.

"You can say I'm trippin' but I'm stingy
And I can't hide it
Wanna keep you all to me
I'm selfish, why try to fight it
You're the only one, with the only love
That's strong enough to claim me
So please forgive me, I'm just stingy
But how can you blame me"

Harry broke it down here. He twisted from one side then back to the other, bullets swishing past him from left to right. He did a one handed round off to the side and then went into a furious frenzy of back flips around the stage. Bullets almost met their mark. Going under or over the arch he made as he bent backwards, passing several times between his split legs and arms. Harry stopped into a handstand, several bullets whizzing past him like a school of fish. Would this Devlin ever run out?

He quickly spun around like a top on his hands, then flipped back up to land once again in a crouch. Harry almost wished that the crowd would stop its roaring cheers so he could hear the bullets better. 'At least they're not booing me.'

"Do what you want," Harry sang, still in the crouch. "Anything, anything
I am all yours
You can do no wrong
Everything, everything
I do because I'm so wide open."

Harry abruptly stood back up, feet apart, pointing at all of the audience to put more emphasis on his dance. He glanced back up at his Devlin sniper, and grinned up at it. With this lighting, he couldn't tell if it was a he or she, but he could certainly tell that it was pissed. The slightest outline of hands were clenching in annoyance around the gun, as it forcefully reloaded.

"No joking, you got me right where you want me to be
I just hope you feel the same
'Cuz I don't want nothing to change
This is where I wanna be
So if you wanna put me on
I don't mind it's all vibe, I'm for it
I would so adore it
Nothing turns me on better than being with you
Baby, I'm not trippin'

You can say I'm trippin' but I'm stingy
And I can't hide it
Wanna keep you close to me
I'm selfish, why try to fight it
You're the only one, with the only love
That's strong enough to claim me
So please forgive me, I'm just stingy
But how can you blame me

You can say I'm trippin' but I'm stingy
And I can't hide it
Wanna keep you close to me
I'm selfish, why try to fight it
You're the only one, with the only love
That's strong enough to claim me
So please forgive me, I'm just stingy
But how can you blame me."

Harry wasted no time to even give a wave goodbye. He trotted quickly off to the exit. There was no way he was just going to give the Devlin time to stock up on more bullets while he stood there like a sitting duck. Once again, Peatro and Scott latched onto his shoulders to keep him from getting any farther then from where they stood.

"I gotta go now! I uh…have a Dental appointment!" Harry shouted, giving off the first excuse that popped into his mind.

Peatro was smiling dreamily, from ear to ear, acting as if he hadn't heard a word Harry had said. "Don't you here that applause? Don't you here them chanting your name?"

He wasn't lying unfortunately. The people were chanting, "Harry, Harry, Harry!" so loud that it drowned out the announcer's call of the next contestants.

"See!" Peatro balled his hands into tight fists and put them next to his face. "There practically screaming for an encore!"

Encore? For Harry, that would be asking to commit suicide! "No way! I'm not going back out there!"

"Oh come on!" Peatro pleaded, "The people love you! Don't you want to please the people?"

'Not if it gets them killed,' Harry wanted to say, but instead settled on a simple. "No, I'm sorry, but I've already done my part so I'm leaving, okay?"

"…Will be singing The Boy is Mine, by Brandy and Monica. But hold on a sec folks," the announcers cut through Peatro's. He was enhancing his voice enhancing charm in order to make himself heard above the noise. "Our next two contestants would like it if Mr. Potter would join them on stage while they do their act! What'dya say folks? Should Harry do it!?"

A scream of "yeah's" and other words that couldn't be comprehended by the human ear was the answer, along with clapping that made you wonder if their flesh was so raw the skin was coming off.

"Looks like the people have spoken!" Peatro shouted over the crowd.

Harry's eyes widened as Peatro and Scott prepared to throw him back on stage. "Wait!" he struggled against their grasps, in his panic forgetting that he could easily break their arms off. "You don't understand! I can't go back out there, I - " Harry stilled, catching the sliver of a fiery tipped tail slip into a door down the hall. 'Shit, he's coming for me.'

This all went by Peatro, as did most things, and whether it was the ruckus going out side or he was purposefully ignoring him, the thespian would hear nothing of Harry's protest. "Don't worry about it sweet heart! You've done it once, and by God you will do it again!"

Peatro grabbed Harry by the arms. "What the freak? Let me go you crack baby!"

"Scotty, help me out here!" Peatro grunted.

Scott saluted, dropping his clipboard. "Right away sir.!" Without so much as a heave, Harry being so light and all, Scott picked up Harry by the legs while Peatro switched his hands to support under Harry's underarms.

"One for the money…" Peatro started, he and Scott swinging Harry like a sack of potatoes.

"Two for the show…" said Scott.

"Three to get ready…"

"And make money for Peatro!"

Harry got one last, "for the love humanity, don't do this!" before he was tossed back onto the stage. He landed on his stomach, the curtains going back up. Cheering and a bit of laughter chorused into the mix of sound going on in the audience.

"I wonder if I can sue for things like this," Harry said as he picked himself up from the floor.

Some more music started up again. The instrument for the introduction sounded like a harp. Some woman started talking along with it, like a rehearsed script.

"Excuse me, can I please talk to you for a minute," the first woman said. It was coming from the archway where Peatro and Scott were standing, but he saw no one else but them there. She sounded disturbingly familiar.

"Uh huh, sure, you know you look kinda familiar," the second woman spoke. Harry's stomach started to turn. This one sounded really familiar, but a lot of girls out there had a Mexican accent in Diagon Alley…didn't they?

"Yeah, you do too but, umm, I just wanted to know do you know somebody named you, you know his name."

"Oh, yeah definitely I know his name."

"I just wanted to let you know he's mine."

"Huh…no no, he's mine."

Then, to Harry's horror, Carmen daintily walked past Peatro and Scott carrying a wand/microphone in her hand. All rational thought escaping him, that including the sniper who was dead set on killing him, Harry spun around without so much as an "Oh my God, what are you doing here!" and made a break for the other unoccupied archway to his left.

Or at least to his knowledge it was unoccupied. He skidded to a stop, his arm flailing back. Veronica stepped out of the shadows with a similar wand-mic and dainty walk.

He looked from one girl to the other, neither having their regular murderous glint in there eyes or even a threatening gesture. Was it just him, or did they just wink at each other?

'Oh God!' Harry thought in dread, 'they're working together!'

Both girls were only a few inches from being dangerously close to him. 'How'd they get there so quick?'

"Way ta go Harry!" someone shouted from the audience. It was Fred, or was it George? Well one of the twins had anyway. A majority of the Weasleys had gotten over the shock of him being on stage and were clapping for him like mad. Fred and George especially. They pretty much respected anyone who managed to do insane things and broke the rules. Bill and Charlie were up their alley, pumping their fists in the air and hooting like a pair of regular jocks. Mrs. Weasley – where was Mr. Weasley? – wasn't frowning but her expression said 'I'll let him have his fun now, but we're talking when we get home.' Ginny didn't hide her fury. She was glaring daggers up at the two women on stage, looking about ready to kill. Ron…Harry couldn't read his expression. He had his arms folded across his chest and was muttering something to himself. Hermione was responding to him in an irritated way, rolling her eyes.

"You need to give it up.

Had about enough.

It's not hard to see,

the boy is mine," Carmen and Veronica sang in his ear, making him jump and his teeth chatter.

Carmen snatched Harry into her embrace, holding him close while singing her part, "I think it's time we got this straight, let's sit and talk face to face. There is no way you could mistake, him for your man, are you insane?"

Veronica pulled him back over to her, shaking a 'tut, tut,' like finger at Carmen. She smiled at Veronica, though it seemed rather strained. "See I know that you may be, just a bit jealous of me. 'Cause you're blind if you can't see that his love is all in me."

Harry was ripped away from Veronica's grasp. At first Veronica growled, then, quickly remembering the truce, waved a 'no hard feelings' hand and let Carmen sing her part: "See I tried to hesitate, I didn't want to say what he told me. He said without me he couldn't make, it through the day, ain't that a shame."

Carmen's hold on him seemed to trap Harry in her own little world of love-sick torment. They spun around the centre of the stage, the crowd's cheers and laughter thundering in Harry's ears as he became dizzy. He couldn't make anything out either, his vision just as blurred as the sound. Colour, colour, Carmen, Veronica, and more colour was all he could see…and a point of silver…

They stopped, Carmen's back facing the audience and the assailing bullet. Definitely preferring to approach this a different, less…physical way, but not wanting Carmen to have a hole ripped through her back, (if only because he would be held or rather feel responsible for such) Harry pushed her and himself down where they both collapsed on the hardwood floor. Harry on top and Carmen on the bottom.

Harry's face burned as if it were set aflame. Carmen may have had the wind knocked out of her, but by the way she was looking, that wasn't the reason why she didn't want to get back up.

Suddenly, Harry's body was limply jerked off of Carmen by Veronica. She grabbed a fistful of the back of his jean coat and had, quite powerfully for someone her size, pulled him back over to her. His arms and legs stuck out in front of him rigidly, several bullets sailing through the large gap of the C shape his body was sort of making.

Veronica's face was twisted in anger. Harry thought he could see steam coming out of her nose like a bull who had saw a large amount of red, the red being Carmen most likely. She put her wand-mic close to her lips, took a hold of Harry's left sleeve tightly, and practically spat out her verse: "And maybe you misunderstood, plus I can't see how he could wanna take his time and that's all good. All of my love was all it took."

Trying to keep Veronica from cutting off his circulation and looking wildly around for the next nearly invisible bullet was not going to keep him or these other unintentional targets alive. So he closed his eyes and listened for the small, air penetrating sound the silencer muffled over the deadly pieces of metal; blocking out the people, blocking out the girls angrily singing the chorus:

"The boy is mine.

You need to give it up..."

'There!' Harry's eyes snapped back open.

Phsh, Phsh, Phsh, Phsh!

He quickly clasped both of Veronica's arms and pulled her down. They stood low to the floor in a crouch, and, luckily, not in quite as intimate a position as he and Carmen had been.

"…Had about enough…"

Phsh, Phsh, Phsh, Phsh!

Just as Harry was about to bring the two of them back up, he hastily ducked them down again. He managed a small glance at the curtains behind them. It was decorated with small holes that looked like it had been regularly moth eaten. He gulped, as a sick thought struck him. 'That could be any of us if I don't be careful.'

Carmen, obviously feeling neglected in some way, pulled Harry back over to her, making herself, once again, in the way of the Devlin's target.

"…It's not hard to see,

the boy is mine…"

A bullet was about to meet its mark at Carmen's head. Harry quickly entwined her hands with his and moved a step back so that it just barely grazed her hair. Another came, and Harry had to push Carmen forth so it wouldn't hit him.

"…I'm sorry that you

seem to be confused

He belongs to me

the boy is mine."

Veronica grabbed one of Harry's arms and yanked it out so that one hand was untangled from Carmen's fingers. Only one hand because Carmen was keeping a firm grip on his other, working both of her hands up to his wrist to sustain a better hold.

Whatever alliance they had formed dissolved then and there. They glared battle glares at each other, one hand holding on to their respective wand-mic's, the others ensconced onto each of Harry's hands. He wondered if getting in the middle of Carmen and Veronica's fight would be more painful, or simply getting shot.

Harry sighed at those options. 'I guess that would depend where I was shot at.'

"Must you do the things you do, keep on acting like a fool," Veronica sang out powerfully in Harry's ear. "You need to know it's me not you, and if you didn't know it girl it's true."

"I think that you should realize, and try to understand why," Carmen sang in the same tone, "he is a part of my life, I know it's killing you inside!"

Veronica, grinding her teeth, yanked Harry over to her, a bullet almost clipping off a piece of his ear. "You can say what you wanna say. What we have you can't take. From the truth you can't escape. I can tell the real from the fake."

Carmen pulled him back over to her. Three or four bullets flew through the empty air where Harry would have been if not for the sudden movement. "When will you get the picture? You're the past, I'm the future. Get away it's my time to shine. If you didn't know the boy is mine."

"The boy is mine.

You need to give it up.

Had about enough.

It's not hard to see,

the boy is mine.

I'm sorry that you

seem to be confused.

He belongs to me

the boy is mine.

The boy is mine.

You need to give it up.

Had about enough.

It's not hard to see,

the boy is mine.

I'm sorry that you

seem to be confused.

He belongs to me

the boy is mine."

Harry was being pulled back and forth… again. It was only by pure luck that each of their pulls was a pull to safety as bullets passed by the sides of his face. He smiled grimly, thinking of how his sniper was probably cursing up a storm by now; he knew he would be if in the Devlin's position.

Veronica gave one of her tremendous yanks and screamed her part of the hook at Harry, her words of anger directed at Carmen. "You can't destroy this love I've found. Your silly games I won't allow. The boy is mine without a doubt. You might as well throw in the towel!"

Harry almost didn't push her down in time. Veronica's voice was so loud that he didn't pick up the Phsh sound until the last minute. Carmen picked him up and sang her part, just as angry, and Harry had to do the same thing after her verse. "What makes you think that he wants you, when I'm the one that brought him to. The special place that's in my heart, he was my love right from the start."

"You need to give him up!" Carmen shouted into the chorus.

Veronica pulled him back over to her, shouting, "Had enough!"

They both dragged him back and forth at each of their parts…

"It's not hard to see!"

"The boy is mine!"

"Miiiiiiinnnnnnnnee!"

"Miiinnnnnnnee!"

"…I'm sorry that you

seem to be confused.

He belongs to me

the boy is mine."

"Seem to be confused!"

"He belongs to me!"

And then they were put into a sudden stalemate. Carmen and Veronica were bringing Harry nowhere, their strength matched as they pulled and pulled. And for the record, this was not helping his back at all!

"The boy is mine, not yours…" A desperate barrage of bullets suddenly came as if it were more then one gun shooting them off. In this position Harry wouldn't be able to move, at least without sacrificing Carmen and Veronica. He gritted his teeth in determination, and twisted his hands out of their grasps, locking them back on firmly to their wrists. With a huge jerk, he pulled all three of them down.

"But mine!"

He brought them back up, but then had to pull them back down again.

"Not yours!"

Up and back down.

"But mine!"

Up and down again.

"Not yours!"

Up and down.

"But…ACK!"

Veronica swung Harry behind her and grabbed Carmen's neck, cutting her off. From there, the two witches began rolling all over the stage, punching and kicking each other like they did so often.

"I'm sorry that you

seem to be confused.

He belongs to me

the boy is mine."

The song finished, applause and laughter rang throughout the entirety of the Talent Show; the whole ordeal the girls and Harry had gone threw looking like some rehearsed dance from their perspective. Harry, now in the line of fire, ducked a few times in the form of a bow, saw it was safe, leapt over Carmen and Veronica, and then sprinted back to the archway as the curtain closed. He stopped abruptly, the same way he had when he first saw Veronica. Romeo suddenly burst out of a room, his eyes glinting madly when his eyes alighted on Harry. Before Peatro and Scott, well mostly Peatro, could try and coax him to give a second encore on stage, he ran, still facing them, out there on his own.

Romeo looked at Peatro and Scott, his eyes narrowed in irritation. He didn't even have to say anything for them to get the picture. They smiled nervously, and a split second later Romeo was staring at the dust the thespian and his assistant had kicked up from running so fast.

Harry jumped a step back, a shot ripping through the curtain and almost blowing his toes off. The sniper was still shooting at him, even with the bloody curtain closed! He looked over at Romeo, who was cracking his knuckles and getting ready to pounce at him. This was one of those: lesser of two evils situations. Either stand out here and get shot or give another round with Romeo. Either choice wouldn't lead to a pleasant end…for him that is.

"What an extraordinary performance!" the announcers voice screamed, "One of the most realistic role playing songs I've ever had the pleasure of seeing, and I'm sure all of you witches and wizards out there agree!" The audience applauded, ten times louder then before. "Right spectacular! That was Carmen Sandiego and Veronica Jenkins singing Brandy and Monica's: The Boy is Mine, accompanied by Harry Potter. I bet we don't have to guess their scores do we, folks? And the judges have tallied up the numbers…oh haha no surprise here, 10, 10 and a 9! That bumps Carmen and Veronica to the lead with 29 points!

"Yikes. I wonder how our next contestant will manage to top that!"

Obviously waiting for his cue, a Wizard in sparkly purple robes rushed out of one of the doors in the hall and headed for the archway Romeo was residing in. The wizard hesitated for a moment, debating on whether it was a good idea for him to kindly ask this intimidating young man with the supposed prop tail to move out of his way. He raised a finger and opened his mouth to speak. No question, or any intelligent sound for that matter, managed to escape his lips though.

Without turning around, Romeo swung his forearm up, his balled fist punching the man directly in the face. The wizard straightened for a second, then fell as stiff as a board to the floor, unconscious before he hit the ground.

Romeo cocked his head to the side, the tightened muscles making a cracking sound. The needless assault seemed to have brought him back from whatever little world he had been closed into when he saw Harry.

Harry glared at him, going into a defensive stance. Romeo returned his gesture with a low chuckle that could've been mistaken for a growl, and an evil smirk that suited him all too well.

He lunged out of his spot at Harry, pulling his arm back. Harry waited till the last second, then sidestepped out of the way, letting Romeo's stone-like fist go past him. But instead of running still, Romeo stopped and followed his punch with a left cross, going for his nose. Not expecting this, Harry blocked with both arms, the limbs taking the brunt of the blow. Romeo took advantage of his opening and quickly jabbed him in the stomach with a powerful fist.

Harry doubled over, and would've mentally slapped himself if he wasn't concentrating so hard on the intense pain that was going through his chest every time he exhaled. Well, if his ribs weren't fractured before then they were now.

"Come on Potter," Romeo mocked silkily, "you might as well just give me the key if you can't do any better then that."

The Devlin grabbed the back of Harry's neck to keep him down. Harry saw his knee lift up, and before it could hit him in the face he blocked it with his forearm, pushing it back down. Dipping his head lower, he lifted his leg backward and swung it up in a crescent moon shape, his foot hitting Romeo in the face.

He staggered back a little in a daze, blinking a few times to clear his vision. Harry brought his leg back but didn't allow it touch the ground, quickly pumping the knee of the same leg and jumping up with the other leg to perform a double kick. He hit Romeo in the chest, sending him to teeter further towards the centre of the stage.

"Anything you can do, I can do better," Harry said smugly.

Romeo grunted, rubbing his nose. He gave Harry a slight glower, and instead of making one of his scathing remarks, he charged at him again.

He feinted with his right fist and quickly switched to his left. Harry just managed to catch the decoy maneuver in time, and caught Romeo's fist in his gloved hand. But Romeo's other hand was too fast for Harry to block as he grabbed him tightly by the neck in a death grip. Harry sputtered and dropped Romeo's hand, his eyes bugging out in surprise. This was a move that he wasn't familiar with, though he should've expected it coming from Romeo.

"Ready to tell me where that key is?" Romeo asked, his face impassive as if he didn't have the upper hand. Maybe he just didn't want to start celebrating so soon.

'Or maybe I'm just too cute to be happy about killing," Harry thought. No scratch that last one. That was the lack of oxygen talking….hopefully.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head no, earning Romeo's grip to tighten further. Now Harry couldn't breathe at all! His lungs swelled up painfully and his heart pumped at an abnormal speed. 'Gotta…break…the hold…' Harry's mind fogged up and he felt himself begin to slip into unconsciousness. He struggled to keep the darkness at bay…but it was so welcoming there. Peaceful, blissful darkness…

"Really? How bout' now?"

Romeo's voice was a soft echo, but he still croaked out a barely audible, "no." His hands fell limp at his sides, feeling as heavy as a ton of bricks. Couldn't he just slip into the darkness for a moment? It was so silent there, so serene, nothing ever hurt anymore…a moment wouldn't be so bad, would it?

"Please welcome our next contestant, Renold Steinsers! Who will be performing to Sisqo's: the Thong song!"

The curtain lifted, and all applause was instantly halted and replaced with gasps at the sight before them. Instead of the next performer, the two girls Carmen and Veronica were still off in the corner fighting, and Harry Potter was there too! Being strangled by a guy with a…tail? Was this still a part of the show? Because if it was, it certainly was starting to get weird.

Romeo jerkily let go of Harry. He stumbled to the ground on all fours, clutching his throat as he gasped and breathed in the air deeply. Harry looked up at Romeo to see what had caused him to stop from squeezing the life out of him.

The Devlin was vacantly staring at the crowd with a raised eyebrow. Harry took advantage of his momentary distraction, and crawled over to Carmen and Veronica's wands, which they had abandoned as soon as they started fighting. Funny how magical folk often forgot about duels when rage was at its peek. He stood back up, tapping the wand slightly to test it, and cleared his throat.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Harry said calmly into the wand, playing the announcer, "due to some er..." he glanced over at the unconscious form of the Wizard in the archway, "minor inconveniences, Mr. Steiners will not be able to sing today."

Harry walked over to Romeo. He was watching the audience as if debating what their fate should be. Harry quickly went on with his little plan, trying to steer Romeo's direction away from anything that would relate to a massive homicide. "So please, welcome his replacement Romeo…erm Romeo!" He slapped the wand into Romeo's hand after yelling an overly excited, "HIT THE MUSIC!" and skittered off to go and collect Carmen and Veronica.

Romeo gaped after Harry, confused beyond all reason. He snapped out of his complete stupefaction as the crowd cheered and clapped, regardless the turn of events. "Hey…Wait a minute!" he hollered in vain. Music drowned out whatever else he was going to say. A violin began to play, along with the singer's introduction to the song:

"This thing right here

Is lettin' all the ladies know

What guys talk about

You know, the finer things in life

a heh heh heh

Check it Out."

Romeo stared one more time at the crowd. He glanced back down at the wand in his hand and tapped it with his finger, interested. He shrugged. Eh, what the hell, this might be his only chance for five minutes of stardom.

"Ooh that dress so scandalous

And you know another nigga can't handle it

So you shakin that thang like who's the ish

With a look in yer eyes so devilish

Uh

You like to dance on the hip hop spots

And you cruise to grooves to connect the dots

Not just urban she like the pop

'Cause she was Livin' La Vida Loca…"

Harry glanced over his shoulder, shaking his head at the dancing and singing half demon. 'I cannot believe that worked,' he thought bemusedly. Going into part two, Harry easily picked both Carmen and Veronica by the scruff of their robes and dragged them into the long hallway. They struggled against his grasp like a pair of demented felines, too busy trying to inflict pain upon each other to notice that they were being carried.

 

"She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby move your butt, butt, butt

I think i'll sing it again

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

All night long

Let me see that thong…"

He kicked open one of the dressing room doors, and as lightly as possible – which wasn't very – shoved them inside to what would hopefully be a safe place. Though, staring at them pummel each other before closing the door, he wondered if leaving them alone together would increase their peril.

He ran down the hall in search of an exit. Harry figured that as soon as Romeo remembered that his occupation was not to be singing on stage, but to take the key and murder him in the process, he'd be in such a rage at him that he would stop at nothing to get to Harry. And in that blind state of mind, if he knew Romeo well enough to say that he didn't like getting off track in such a matter, then he'd likely forget all about the easily killable people in the audience and, ergo, go after Harry.

Harry grinned triumphantly, his ego boosting up a few more brownie points at his own cunning. "Harry, you are a genius," he praised himself.

He turned a corner and almost clicked his heels in joy, even though he wasn't exactly out of the water yet. An exit was just ahead of him, and that meant that was one more step forward to getting away from these Devlin until he cooked up some other plan.

One step forward and two steps back, as the saying goes. In Harry's case, it was one step forward and about a good one hundred and fifty steps back.

The exit door busted open, slamming so hard that it embedded itself into the concrete wall. A swarm of Devlin scrambled into the hall. The doorway didn't seem to be wide enough for them all to fit, especially since they were trying to get in at the same time. Oh but they did manage, easily filling out the corridor.

Harry skidded to a stop, and then ran full force back the way he had come. "Harry, you're not a genius!"

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong!"

Romeo was still singing, and the crowd was still going wild as Harry zipped across the stage behind the affirmed Devlin, and out the way he had first entered the Talent Show. He didn't know why he gasped out in surprise when he had been preparing to come across them eventually. But he did gasp, and almost stumbled over his own two feet when he spun around and darted again for the stage. The stomping of boots and swooshing of cloaks faded behind him as Harry ran, – without even a glance back at his pressures – his super speed going up a notch.

"That girl so scandalous

And I know another nigga can't handle it

And she shakin' that thing like who's the ish

With a look in her eyes so devilish

She like to dance on the hip hop spots

And she cruise to the grooves to connect the dots

Not just urban she like the pop

Cause she was Livin La Vida Loca…"

Harry looked from side to side, feeling like a mouse that had been chased into a corner by…no, cats didn't seem to be the right word, more like…deranged and carnivorous tigers.

…An entire pack of them…

…that hadn't eaten in several months.

There we go, that was it.

"She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby move your butt, butt, butt

I think i'll sing it again

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

All night long

Let me see that thong!"

Harry might have actually laughed if his current position weren't so dire. Romeo had broken down into a dance that was a combination of the Harlem shake and the old school classic…the robot.

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong!"

'What am I doing?' he thought, shaking himself out of his strangely affixed stupor. He wasn't just going to stand there looking stupid while the Devlin and Death Eaters ambushed him…well, not anymore he wasn't.

Harry ran and jumped off the stage, startling the people at their tables up front out of their skins. Considering the situation and what it could possibly lead to, Harry made a last minute decision and rushed over to the Weasleys.

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh  

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong!"

"Well I'm so glad you've finally decided to join us Harry," Mrs. Weasley scolded lightly, but not able to hide a smile. "Here I am, worried sick that you'd gotten lost…or abducted even! Sent Arthur out to look for you – he's still out there now in fact – and there you are on stage all along! Why didn't you tell us before that you'd signed up for the Talent show?"

Harry blinked a few times, all of the questions overwhelming him, making him dizzy. "I didn't exactly plan- "

"Oh come off it mum," Bill interrupted, thumping Harry on the back. An intense glare from Mrs. Weasley caused him to change course on what he was going to say, "Erm, what I meant was…it's his Birthday! If he wants to go on stage, then he should be able to go on stage."

"I suppose your right," Mrs. Weasley let off a little, but bounced back into motherly mode faster then the human eye could see, "But I still don't approve you slipping off like that. You had us worried half to death."

Harry was still keeping his eyes worriedly towards the stage. It wouldn't be long before they flourished in the theater like the black plague itself. He had to warn the Weasley's, but for some reason he couldn't seem to word his current predicament properly. "But I wasn't trying to- "

"But that's the whole point of it mum," Fred said jovially. He and his twin turned to Harry, beaming like mad at his supposed genius. "It wouldn't be a proper surprise if he told you what he was up to."

George shook his head in amazement, "A surprise in the midst of a surprise. Absolutely brilliant!"

"Where on earth did you learn to sing like that," Charlie spoke with a sly smile, "did you all here those girls swooning over him? I think about half of them were from Hogwarts too!"

At this point, Fred and George went into a fit of laughter. They pitched their voices high in an act to impersonate the girls that had been squealing giddily earlier.

"Oooh, isn't that Harry Potter so dreamy!"

"Oooh la la! He is so fine! I wish I could be his main squeeze everyday!"

The twins collapsed into laughter, supporting each other so they wouldn't fall to the floor.

"The whole thing was an act though, right Harry?" Ginny pleaded desperately, "But if it wasn't, I'd be okay with it anyway," she added quickly at seeing Harry's strange look.

"Yeah it was an act…kinda, but-  " Harry tried to speak faster, just plain and simple spit out his words so he could get away from the impending danger that was behind him singing karaoke and would eventually learn of Harry's trickery, but the loudly exclaimed versus of the song, and Weasley's, kept cutting him off and easily changing the subject.

"That dress so scandalous

I swear another nigga couldn't handle it

When you shakin' that thing like whose the ish

With a look in your eyes do devilish

Uh

You like to dance on the hip hop spots

Then you cruise to the grooves to connect the dots

Not just urban you like the pop

Cause she was Livin La Vida Loca"

"Of course it was an act Gin! This is a talent show after all." It sounded like Ron had been trying to figure out what to say for a while, how to contribute to the conversation so he wouldn't feel so awkward. His voice didn't lilt any anger, or envy that Harry could here. Perhaps this was the work of Hermione, who was studying the two of them with intense blue eyes.

'Well, now that, that little plot bunny has been filled, maybe you should hurry up and tell them of the danger and haul your ass outta here!' Harry's subconscious berated him suddenly. He looked over his shoulder. No one else was up on the stage. Only Romeo, still dancing and singing his black little heart out. But the hallways couldn't have been that long a distance. His super speed must have kicked in without his notice, because it had taken more then a little while when he was walking with Peatro and Scott. They had to start at a brisk pace just to make it in time. It probably wouldn't be long until the squadron of Death Eaters and backup Devlin caught up though, a few minutes' tops.

"Is there something wrong dear?" said Mrs. Weasley. His gaze had lingered on the man onstage. She saw his face slowly loose it's color, and crease into distress that her motherly intuition told her had something to do with the contestant.

Harry looked at them all, his expression so stony and serious that even Fred and George had stopped their teasing. "Yes, there's something very wrong. You all have to leave, right this instant," he finally said, voice set in a steely monotone.

Mrs. Weasley's eyebrow furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean Harry, what's going on?"

"There's no time to explain," he glanced over his shoulder again anxiously. Why did they always have to know every damn answer when danger was so near? Couldn't they wait till afterward? "We need to get everyone out of here…they'll be here any second…"

"Who will be here?" Hermione asked fretfully.

"Death Eaters," Harry barked impatiently, "there in the back, a shit load of em'."

They all gasped simultaneously, but Harry wasn't sure if it was because of the news, or his choice of wording the news. After the small shock was over, Mrs. Weasley went into action.

"Bill and Charlie, you two go and alert those Aurors up front." The two eldest Weasley's nodded and ran off towards the entrance, stumbling over a few loose leaf bags other Hogwarts students had carelessly left around that aisle. Mrs. Weasley stood up, gesturing for the rest of her children and Hermione to do so as well, "Come on then, let's hurry and get outside so we can Apparate home, no doubt there are wards all over the place."

"But mum, what about dad?" Ginny said as she haphazardly gathered her bags in her hands like the rest of the family.

"Don't you worry about your father. I'll search for him, while Percy sends you lot home, isn't that right Percy?"

Percy hesitated for a moment, and opened his mouth to protest. A piercing look from Mrs. Weasley convinced him otherwise as he reluctantly nodded, "Yes mother."

"Good," she said satisfied. They all got their stuff together in record time, and started to march there way out of the Talent show, Mrs. Weasley in the lead.

"What are you waiting for Harry?" Ron said when he saw that his friend hadn't moved. Questions swarmed in his brown eyes, like how Harry had known of this in the first place for example. But he pushed it aside. 'Save it for later.' "You said Death Eaters were coming remember? We have to get going!"

Harry was staring straight at Romeo again, back facing Ron, but the Devlin was into deep with his made up routine to notice his gaze. "I'll catch up," he said lowly.

"She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby move your butt, butt, butt, uh

I think i'll sing it again

'Cause she had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby move your butt, butt, butt, uh

I think i'll sing it again"

Ron was aghast in disbelief, and he spoke it, "What?"

"C'mon

C'mon

C'mon

C'mon"          

"I have to do something real quick. Go on with out me, I'll be right behind you."

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

That thong thong thong thong thong"

"Harry, you can't be serious!" Ron forced himself a little nervous laugh as he strove for some reasonability. "That's madness. I don't think you know exactly what you're saying here."

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

That thong thong thong thong thong"

Harry shook his head in frustration, "I know what I'm doing, alright. Now hurry up and go, their all probably waiting for you."

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

That thong thong thong thong thong

Duh dun duh

Duh dun duh

Duh dun duh

Thong, thong, thong, thong, thong

Duh dun duh

Duh dun duh

Duh dun duh

Thong, thong, thong, thong, thong"

"You're mad if you think I'm just going to leave you."

"Call me crazy then."

Ron growled, stubbornly crossing his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes. "I see what this is all about," his face went red as anger coursed through his veins, replacing the concern. "Trying to keep your image as wonder boy up huh…gotta make a bigger name for yourself eh? Well this is real life Harry, not some publicity stunt where backup Wizards will come in at the last moment and take your place when the danger gets to rough. Now would you quit trying to be the hero for five damn minutes and have enough sense to save your own life!? Jesus, does fame mean even more to you then that!?"

Harry squeezed his fists tightly. Ron didn't understand…and Harry wouldn't allow him too either. "Ron. Go. Now!" Maybe it was the steely tone in his voice that dissolved Ron's resolve, or maybe his anger was at a level that he thought he shouldn't have cared in the first place. Either way, with a furious puff of breath Ron whirled around, yelling over his shoulder, "Fine then! Get yourself killed since you like it so much, see if I bloody well give a damn when I find your name in the obituary!"

He was too numb to feel the sting of Ron's words, though he was sure the aftermath would suffice just as well. Harry jumped on top of the Weasley's table, if the little commotion with Ron hadn't gotten everyone's attention; this act did a sure job. The music was drawing back into the chorus thank goodness, giving him a few seconds before Romeo's distraction was done with.

Harry put his two fingers to his mouth and blew an earsplitting whistle, gaining anyone leftover who hadn't been paying attention before. "Excuse me everyone, but could I please have your attention for a moment?" he didn't wait for the crowd to stop there small murmurings and continued, yelling over them, "I'm sorry to interrupt the Talent Show, but it has been reported that some Death Eaters have penetrated the premises and are in this building…"

There was a moment of deafening silence. Perhaps they were all in shock, so Harry went on, "Right at this moment…"

They still sat in stunned silence. Widened, frightened, pairs of eyes all on him. Harry sighed, then went to more drastic measures. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR! DEATH EATERS ARE IN THE BUILDING! GET YOUR ASSES MOVING!"

That did the trick. There was a flurry of screams, mostly consisting of what sounded like: "Death Eaters!" and "You-Know-Who must be here!" and the ever famous "We're all going to die!" and panic filled movements as the crowd hustled their selves and their family members to the nearest exit.

"That's right, everybody out!" Harry continued to persuade, even though it was a bit unnecessary. He couldn't help it, he was on a roll. "Vamanose! Get a move on!" He clapped his hands to put a bit of emphasis on what was going on, and moved his hands to direct a few people to other exits so traffic could keep on going, "Roll out people! No time to waste! This is not a drill, it's the real deal! You ain't gots to go home but you have to get the hell out of here! Come on buddy, you can go faster then that! These are Death Eaters stalking you people, not Jehovah Witness!"

"I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

(Let me see) That thong thong thong thong thong

I like it when the beat goes

Duh dun duh

Baby make your booty go

Duh dun duh

Baby I know you wanna show

Duh dun duh

That thong thong thong thong thong…"

Romeo span one last time, the song finally ending. "Thank you, thank you very much," he said to the crowd, not noticing it slowly leaking out of the theater. "Your all to kind- "

He cut himself off. There was no applause, and that meant no audience, because of course, who wouldn't applaud to a kick ass performance like that? Reality finally seemed to hit him. The humans were all leaving, and Potter was standing on a table, directing them out like a traffic officer.

Potter.

Romeo blinked, "What the hell?" he thought he said in a low whisper, but when his voice came out in a loud echo he knew something was wrong. He jumped back, staring at the wand in his hand as if for the first time. Oh yeah, he'd been singing.

Rather good if he should say so himself, Romeo thought with a quirked eyebrow.  He heard marching on either side of him, shaking the floorboards under him like a small earthquake. A group of Death Eaters appeared through the left archway and his gang through the right. They stopped where they were, staring at Romeo with identical confused expressions, even though the Death Eaters had faceless masks on.

"Romeo," Ridik, who was in the lead, questioned slowly, "what are you doing?"

Romeo's face flushed a little. He turned to the inquisitive Ridik, his expression molding into irritation, "What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked into the wand/mic as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Ridik hesitated, not sure if he should answer, "Uh, well, I'm not sure what your– "

"I'm waiting for you guys to finally show up, that's what I was doing!" he shouted.

 Some of those present "oh'ed" in understanding and nodded, while the rest shook their heads doubtfully, but kept their mouths shut about it. You usually didn't correct your superiors…especially if they had the ability to kill you

Meanwhile, Harry had ushered the last of the Witches and Wizards out of the theater. His task finished with, Harry settled his attention to the stage. No one made a move. The only sound was the scratching noises that bounced off the walls, the announcer and D.J. having abandoned their posts and leaving the enchanted music machine to continue on by it self.

"Stupefy!"

"Spell Binder!"