Flicker of Life - Chapter 11

Summary:

Something happens to Aspen that could potentially affect her baby and Alise is stuck in San Diego until her flight leaves and all she wants to do is be by her best friends side. It makes her worry about things that could happen to Charlie before she's born and it worries her to the point that it's affecting her everyday life. She goes to Aspen for advice and Aspen drops a truth bomb on Alise, but she's not ready to face the truth.

The next morning, I woke up to the familiar smell of pancakes and bacon. I opened my eyes, surprised by my surroundings. For a second I was transported back to Isla Nublar and I expected to open my eyes to see Owen's bungalow. It was a pure moment of bliss like I'd forgotten everything that happened and things were back to the way they were before the horrific incident. Back to the way they should be.

Then, the reality hit me like a freight train and I put my hand on my stomach. I let out a disappointed sigh. I don't know why I was disappointed really. I guess it was just that I was so happy back then - we both were. Now things were different and I've come to terms with that. It was just nice to forget about everything that happened momentarily and I wish things were different. As simple and as easy as they were before the incident. There was one thing, however, that I didn't wish was different and that was our little angel that was growing inside of me.

It was at this moment I realized it was her that was giving me the strength to continue on, her that got me out of bed in the morning. Of course, it was also Owen, because, without him, I don't know what I'd do.

Speaking of my angel, my stomach was starting to growl and a sudden wave of nausea hit me. "Alright, Charlie, mama's gettin' food," I said, getting myself out of bed.

I rushed to the bathroom, but not because I was going to throw up - morning sickness went away after the first trimester. I had to pee, really bad. Even though I woke up an hour ago with the same issue, but I drank some water before going back to sleep. Also, this little baby is pushing all of my organs together, so my bladder has a lot of pressure on it and I can definitely feel it.

"There's a sight I don't see too often," I said with a smirk as I walked into the kitchen of Tim's cabin. Owen was at the stove cooking pancakes, shirtless. He did have pants on because it was a little chilly, but I still enjoyed this view a lot.

"Yeah, well, I don't want your mom to get turned on by the view," he smirked, turning the stove off and bringing a plate of pancakes to the table, which had fresh strawberries and bacon laid out on it.

"Owen, gross!" I exclaimed, taking a bite of bacon, sighing at the taste. Much better than turkey bacon. Sometimes it's okay to cheat a little bit, plus, we're on vacation. We deserve it.

"What? I can't help it that I'm so attractive," he said simply, putting the pancakes on the table and walking over to the counter to get something else.

"Keep talking like that and it'll make you less attractive," I said, bringing some pancakes on my plate as well as a few strawberries.

"Nothing can make me less attractive, Alise, you know this already," he said confidently, amusement in his voice.

I rolled my eyes, "Well, you're right. Especially when you clench your ass like that," I mumbled as I chewed the bacon and cut the pancakes. Owen chuckled and shook his head, bringing over a mug of tea for me. "Have I told you how much I love you?" I smiled, taking a sip. It was the perfect temperature.

"You say it enough." he sassed back with a smirk, sitting across from me and started making his own plate.

"Well, I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you. That too much for you?" I smirked. Owen rolled his eyes as he shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth, probably so he didn't have to answer me. I laughed as I poured syrup on my pancakes and took a bite. "Y'know, I could totally go for some sausage right now…" I smirked at him. I say this every morning we're alone (and sometimes when my parents are in the other room, but that's just to get a rise out of him) and he knows I'm not joking.

Owen raised his brows, glancing at his watch. "We have to leave for our flight in about an hour, so finish your pancakes and bacon and I'll give you a little if you're good," he smirked.

"Only if I'm good, what will you do if I'm bad?" I smirked.

"Then no sausage for you," he said simply.

"Oh, come on, not even a little taste?" I asked with my brows raised.

He looked at me for a second. "Just hurry up and finish," he said impatiently. I laughed and did as I was told because I really wanted that sausage.

x x x

After I got a little sausage (and then some), I was getting out of the shower when Aspen called me. Owen and I were leaving for the airport in 10 minutes, so I had her on speaker as I towel-dried my hair and got dressed, struggling in the process because I have this damn cast on my arm that gets in the way of everything. I need help to do a lot of things I normally wouldn't need help with, like getting dressed. But I have way too much pride to ask Owen to dress me like a freaking doll, even though he has offered in the past after watching me struggle for a bit. The pregnant belly doesn't help at all either.

Don't even get me started on how annoying it is during sex. I may or may not have hit myself or Owen in the face with it on multiple occasions. Just a half an hour ago, I almost gave Owen a black eye.

"This fucking asshole of a client decided to pull out of the deal last minute - right as he was signing the paperwork. It took me months to find a house for this fucker and he just changes his mind and says 'it doesn't feel right' after putting me through hell to get this fucking place. Do you know how many back and forths I had with their agent just to settle on a price he was okay with? I put in double the work just to please this guy and he changes his mind, just like that. I'm fucking used to shit like this, but it still took everything in me not to pour my hot tea down his pants." she said angrily. She's had clients like this before and she has a temper in general, but she's gotten used to clients like this. Ever since she's gotten pregnant, her hormones have been through the roof and any little thing will set her off (something I will definitely not tell her).

"Shit, well, I'm glad you didn't pour hot tea on his balls," I chuckled. "At least now you can spend another 3 months finding a house for him and put in triple the work." I couldn't help but smirk. This situation was a little funny, frustrating, but funny. I'm sure if I were on the other end of it though, I wouldn't be laughing. Soon, she'll be laughing about it too.

"Fuck that. Fuck him. I'm dropping that dickless fucker as a client, I don't even care. And I'm gonna charge him extra for pain and suffering." she said, losing her breath. It sounded like she was doing something throughout this conversation, something like manual labor because she sounded tired and further away from the phone.

"Good idea. I would too," I laughed. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for an open house. It starts in an hour and Luke is late, as usual, so I'm hanging up a banner, you're on speaker," she explained. Luke was her partner that she did open houses with.

"Wait, please tell me you're not on a ladder?" I asked, concerned. The last place she should be is on a ladder when she's 7 months pregnant.

"It's not a big deal, I'm almost- fuck!" I heard her say, followed by a thud and what sounded like a ladder falling.

"Aspen, are you okay? What just happened?" I asked, seriously concerned now. I didn't hear a formal reply, just a mumble. "Aspen, what happened? Can you hear me?" I asked calmly, reminding myself to take deep breaths because the last thing I needed to be doing was freaking out. I prayed she didn't just fall from the ladder, but it sounded like she did.

"I fell?" I heard Aspen's voice crack and she sounded more confused than anything.

"Are you okay?" I asked calmly, drawing in another deep breath. "Is the baby okay?"

"I-I don't know… holy shit, there's so much blood. Alise! There's blood!" she exclaimed. I could hear her getting worked up.

My eyes filled with water as I started to lose it too, but I tried to keep it together, for her sake. "Aspen, it's okay… take a deep breath. Can you get to your phone?"

"It's on the table! I-I can't move, it hurts too much!" she said, still panicked and I don't blame her, I'm panicking just from hearing her.

"Okay, tell me where you are and I'm going to call 911," I said, trying my best to remain calm even though there were tears streaming down my face and my hands were shaking. She called out the address to me. "I'm going to switch to another line for a second and call, okay?"

"Okay!" she said, her voice shaking. I quickly switched to another line and called 911, telling them everything that happened, from my what I heard anyway. They said they'd be there as soon as possible and I switched the line back so I could talk to Aspen. I tried to keep her calm and talking until the police and ambulance came, trying to distract her from the situation.

The police came and she hung up the phone begged me to call Lance, so I did. I was panicking on the phone to him, but he was able to understand what I was saying. Probably because he deals with panicking clients daily. He quickly hung up with me and went to the hospital.

I hung up the phone and started hyperventilating immediately. I was having a panic attack. I tried to control my breathing but it was really hard. I was so scared. I wasn't there, I can't do anything to help her from here. I'm in a different state and I'm not going to be there for another 6 to 7 hours.

Owen came into the room after he heard me and was able to help calm me down enough for me to tell him what happened. He told me it was okay and that it was time to leave for the airport and we'll be with her soon.

I was terrified for her and Hunter.

x x x

Of course, I was a nervous wreck the whole flight and on the way home and then to the hospital. We took a taxi home, brought our stuff inside and left it at the door and I was rushing Owen and snapped at him when he went to pee. Something that little set me off, but he understood how nervous and anxious I was to see Aspen, so he didn't fight me on it. He just told me it was going to be okay and kissed my forehead before we left for the hospital. Hearing Owen say that calmed me down a little bit, but not enough.

I texted Lance and told him we just parked and he met us outside of the hospital room.

"Lance!" I said when I saw him, rushing over to give him a hug.

"Hey, love," he said, his voice low. I pulled away and was about to ask about Aspen, but he read my mind first. "Aspen's okay. She's sleeping right now and a little loopy from the drugs-" he said, my eyes widened. "-Safe for Hunter, who is fine."

"Oh, thank god," I let out a sigh of relief. "So, she fell and what happened? Why was there so much blood?" I asked.

"She fell onto her back so the baby was in no harm whatsoever. But apparently she has Placenta Previa and the doctors said the blood would have happened regardless of the fall, just not as much." Lance explained.

I nodded and Owen asked, "What's Placenta Previa?"

"It's where the placenta partially or completely covers the cervix. It can be bad when she's giving birth though," I said. I had read about most of the complications during pregnancy because I like to know what could happen. Owen said I was being over-the-top, but this information is important now so turns out I wasn't being over-the-top at all.

"They're recommending bedrest and a c-section when the time comes. It didn't affect her due date at all, they're still expecting April 23rd." Lance explained.

I nodded, "I can't imagine Aspen on bedrest for a month and a half…"

Lance scoffed, "God, me either. She already told the doctor to fuck off when she told him that."

Both Owen and I couldn't help but laugh upon hearing that, knowing full well that's an Aspen response.

"Let's go see if she's awake," Lance said as he lead us into the room.

x x x

Owen and I stayed until she woke up, which was right before visiting hours were over and no matter how hard Aspen and I tried to fight the staff on it, they wouldn't budge. I promised her I'd be back tomorrow at 9am, when visiting hours open again.

The next week was pretty hard. I was on edge and constantly worrying that something was going to happen. Not just to Aspen, but to Charlie too. At first, I shook the idea out of my head. Charlie was safe, I didn't need to worry. But then I thought about Aspen and how she had Placenta Previa - which is very rare in general, so my rational brain was telling me not to worry about that happening.

My irrational brain took over though and all I could think was that there were so many health issues that could arise. I was already at risk for Gestational diabetes, so I've been hyper-aware of that and avoiding sugar as much as possible. I was also at risk for Oligohydramnios, which is low amniotic fluid. I've been pumping myself full of water as much as possible and I realize I wasn't taking that as seriously as I should have before what happened to Aspen. Those were just two of the things I was worried about, there were so many more things that could happen.

I started thinking about childbirth and how so many complications happen during it. There were so many things that could go wrong. The umbilical cord could get wrapped around Charlie's neck and choke her - I could end up bleeding out and losing too much blood and dying.

All of this was keeping me up at night and I was barely coping with it myself. I knew I should talk to someone, anyone, but the words couldn't come out. I didn't know who to turn to, even though there were so many people I had in my life to turn to. I didn't dare tell Owen. I know he'd just tell me I was overreacting and not to worry about it - but there was so much to worry about. Maybe I was overreacting, but I was still worried, the anxiety was almost debilitating.

I slept in this morning until about 9:30am because I hadn't been sleeping lately. My mom gave me the day off and I knew I'd spend my day with Aspen. She's been doing well and I've been with her whenever I wasn't working, for the most part, helping as much as I can. She assured me she was fine, but of course, I still worried. I'm a worrier, that'll never change.

I was taking a shower and saw some blood in the water and I freaked out. I wasn't in pain and it wasn't all that much, but I still I called the doctor right away and talked to her. She assured me that it was normal, especially because I had the same problem during the first trimester. I think I was just on edge because of everything that's been going on so I automatically freaked out and assumed something was wrong with Charlie. Dr. McKenzie said she had an opening that morning and if it would make me feel better, I should go in, so I did and everything checked out. She was right. Charlie was fine.

I got to Aspen's around noon and was making her one of those god-awful pickle and jam sandwiches that she asked for, but this time she asked for peanut butter with it. I almost threw up at the sight of it, but I was there to help.

"If you're going to throw up, just don't do it on my sandwich, okay? I might be having weird cravings, but vomit isn't one of them." Aspen's voice came from behind me. I raised my brows as I turned around.

"You should be in bed, missy," I said as I cut up the pickles. I can't tell you how many times I've said this to Aspen over the past week. I've come over and she's been out of bed. One time she was working out on her treadmill and I almost lost it. What part of 'bed rest' does this crazy bitch not understand?!

"I know, but I'm sick of being in bed," she whined as she sat at the kitchen table. I just sighed and let her have this one, as long as she was sitting down, I guess that's a start. When I was finished making her sandwich, I put it in front of her with a glass of chocolate milk and then made myself a peanut butter sandwich and sat across from her. I was quiet for the most part as we ate, stuck in my own thoughts as Aspen was preoccupied eating her sandwich and scrolling on her phone.

After we ate, I convinced her to go up to bed by telling her I'd watch Criminal Minds with her if she did. She didn't pass that up. She loves her Criminal Minds.

"Alright, what's on your mind?" she asked as we got into her bed.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked, a little caught off-guard.

"I know you, Crusty. Something's up. This whole damn week, I can barely get anything out of you. When you laugh, there's nothing behind your eyes but hurt. All you wanna do is scream, or cry. Tell me what's up." she said simply as if she read my mind.

I let out a sigh. I really didn't want to go there now, especially in light of everything she was going through. Why would I turn it around and make it about me? I looked over at her and she just raised her brows, waiting for an answer. I had to talk, there was no way she wouldn't let me. "I just keep thinking, what if something happens to Charlie? My whole world would come crashing down. It's happened before and it'll probably happen again. Shit, I should be here supporting you and getting you through this I'm the one that's a mess." I felt the tears in my eyes already and I was ready to explode. All the pent up emotions were getting to me.

Aspen reached out and grabbed my hand. "That's okay, Alise. I'm here for you, no matter what. Things affect us differently. Was I scared about what happened? Fuck yeah, but I know that it could have been avoided. I was doing something stupid and I beat myself up over it because I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot. And I'm not just talking about what happened with you, I mean, my car accident, something could have seriously gone wrong. I'm starting to think our pregnancies are cursed." I sighed.

"Really, because I've been thinking you're cursed," Aspen said honestly, causing me to look up at her with my brows raised. Normally, I'd take it to offense, but I knew she didn't mean it that way. "All this bad shit keeps happening to you and aside from this small accident, I'm sitting here, all happy and content with life and it's been so easy for me. It's always been easy for me. I've watched you go through hell and back and you're still here. It's okay to worry and feel hopeless. You're the strongest woman I know, Alise. You can get through anything and I know what happened with that fucking dinosaur is going to stick with you, but you have to come to terms with that. Accept it," she said and then sighed. My breath was caught in my throat and tears were streaming down my face. "I've been holding back with saying this because Lance told me not to, but this is what you need to hear. You need to stop putting Owen first. I love you and I hate what this is doing to you. You have to accept that you're hurting too and you need to tell him what's on your mind and make him talk about it. Owen is your husband and he needs to put you first sometimes, you can't keep driving yourself crazy walking on glass around him. He needs to man up and face it. It might not be the most clinical, but it's what you need. I've been watching this happen for way too fucking long and I've had enough of it, I know you have too."

I hiccuped as my lip quivered and I shook my head. "I wish it was that simple."

Aspen shook her head. "It is that fucking simple. You just have to do it, Alise. Just fucking do it. I know you can."

I didn't know what to say. It was like a huge slap in the face and I didn't know how to process this. Has she really been holding back from saying all of this? This is really what she's been thinking all along and she didn't tell me?

Part of me knew she was right. Owen needed to be here for me like I am for him, but this was honestly the last thing I needed to hear right now. "Well, it's Owen's birthday this weekend and I don't want to ruin it." I sighed, catching my breath and trying to stop the tears. I know it was a stupid excuse to use, but it was true. I had something planned for Owen and I and I didn't want to ruin it by pushing him too hard.

"Fine," she sighed, leaning back into the headboard as she grabbed the remote. I pushed my lips together and leaned my head against the headboard, letting out a sigh and trying to wash away the tears. I know she's frustrated with me, hell, I'm frustrated with me, but I didn't want to face that truth. I couldn't.