Lisa woke with a start, having dreamt of flesh and sweat. She saw the image of two bodies intertwined, writhing and clawing and gasping for air. Their faces were stained with ash and ember, unidentified yet familiar all the same.
Pulling herself into a seated position, the girl breathed in long and deep, gazing at dawn's light as it beamed through a crack in her curtains. It was still early, but she couldn't get back to sleep. She was afraid.
'What's happening to me?' She whispered, resting her face in her palms.
Pearls of sweat trickled down her spine, soaking her clothes and glossing her flesh. Her chest heaved with the force of her expanding lungs, inhaling vast amounts of oxygen that never seemed to be enough.
She placed her bare feet on the soft carpet, letting the comfortable material engulf her toes. Her entire body was damp, drenched in beads of perspiration. It was cold now, but she knew it had been hot before.
Lifting up her arms, she peeled the top over her head, embracing the cool air that swarmed her sticky skin. Dumping it on the floor, she got to her feet and slid off the trousers, recoiling when more droplets dripped down her legs.
Panting heavily with each step, the teen burst into the bathroom with such force that the ensuing vibration shook the walls, causing a selection of toiletries to clatter upon the floor.
Collapsing on the hard tile, Lisa let her knees burrow into the painful surface, collecting the various bottles that had rolled noisily along the floor. Her heart thumped as she desperately tried to remain silent, not wanting to wake her parents.
Returning them to their rightful place, the teen sat on the edge of her bathtub, shivering in the chilly morning air. Goosebumps swam along her legs, erecting the tiny hairs that lived on the surface of her skin. She shuddered, though it wasn't from the cold.
Dreams were unusual things, and the girl had never tried to understand them, but now that she was becoming aware of her sexuality, they were beginning to linger like the distant drone of a wailing siren, forever present, if slightly dulled.
Slowly rising to her feet, Lisa peeled back her underwear, unclasping her bra and slipping off the straps, dumping them in the laundry basket.
Every inch of her being carried the musky scent of someone smothered in old sweat, and as she inhaled the thick scent that lay on her flesh, the nurse felt a heavy weight settle on her chest. It was a compound of guilt, frustration and fear.
She felt immensely shameful for suffering from such fantasies, yet she knew that somewhere within her lay a burning passion which longed for them to come true. The creeping terror that followed was a direct result of her alienation.
Strange though it seemed, Lisa felt as though she had taken on a new persona. The person she was and the person she was becoming, were two very different creatures. One was a naive young girl with innocence and clarity, whilst the other was a sensual, alluring woman blinded by lust.
Wrapping both arms protectively around herself, the nurse stood in the centre of the bathroom, slowly swaying to and fro. After a moment, she broke free from her stupor and walked to the sink, turning on the tap and letting a warm stream of water flow into the bowl.
Splashing it across her flushed cheeks, the teen gazed up into the mirror, glimpsing into her fatigue ridden eyes. Gripping the cold porcelain, she pushed herself upright, examining every line, blemish and bruise that marred her gleaming flesh.
The mirror was small, but standing back allowed her to get a better view of her body. The girl would never care to admit it, but she'd paid particular attention to her figure over the past four years, watching as it bloomed into that of an audacious young woman.
There were many things she admired about her figure, and many more she despised. Her arms were too skinny, her hips flat and forlorn, without hint of any noticeable curve. Both shoulders held a natural slump that came from her timid disposition, whilst her legs were shapely and long.
Slowly rotating so as to get a good view of her back, the nurse's eyes roved up and down her body, analysing every arch and dimple, every beauty spot and bruise, culminating in her gaze resting on the gentle curve of her neck.
Lifting a hand to her throbbing pulse, Lisa imagined his lips sending soft kisses along her throat, trailing across her breastbone as rough fingers caressed her aching shoulders, reassuring and firm, dissolving all of her doubt in one swift movement.
Sucking in a breath, she shook herself free from the memory of her dream, grabbing a fresh towel from the door hook and dousing it in warm water. She desperately sought the soothing rain of a cleansing shower, but feared the gushing water would wake her parents.
Carefully, cautiously, she ran the towel over her sticky flesh, scrubbing mercilessly at the layer of sweat still soaking her ashen hue. The fabric brushed painfully against her breasts, causing her to wince, yet she continued to scrape away the evidence of her lust.
Dragging the coarse material up her legs, Lisa began to tremble as she neared her core, afraid of what she might if she drew close. Her body was demanding things that she simply could not give, mounting her urges into a mountain of frustration.
Like a volcano, she was ready to erupt.
Leaving the towel in the bathtub, she returned to her room and sank to her knees, curling her hands into tight fists as she tried to control her thoughts. The rug beneath her was soothing and soft, delicate against her raw skin.
Every inch of her body wriggled and writhed, suffering in agony from the force of the towel grazing against her limbs. She had scrubbed too hard, leaving ugly, flaring marks on her soft and sensitive shoulders.
Broken skin bled above her bellybutton, scarring her abdomen. She ran tender fingertips along the surface, wincing when it burned beneath her touch. Placing an arm across the wound, she staggered to her wardrobe, feeling the need to dress.
She quickly rummaged through her clothes, this time opting for a breezy night dress. Without bothering to find a bra, she pulled the dress on over her head, pulling down the hem to ensure it covered every inch of her bare back.
Grabbing a fresh pair of panties from her drawer, she quickly slid into them, shamefully burrowing herself beneath the bed sheets like a naughty child who had wet the bed.
The night seemed heavier than usual, almost as if the darkness itself was condemning her. For what, she did not know. It was natural to feel such emotions, experience such desires. Yet the teen felt terribly culpable about it.
As she lay there, trembling and confused, the girl could only think of one thing. It bore through her skull, rattling every inch of her brain, preventing her from sleep.
After many years of abandoning her first love, she was finally able to revisit the theatre. Yet as exciting as that was, she couldn't fathom any real joy from it. For all her enthusiasm lay a deep seated fear. A fear that stemmed from worry. A fear that stemmed from him.
Even if it were only a casual date, perhaps even a friendly attempt at pity, Lisa knew she would always want more. As she lay beneath the covers, letting her thoughts run wild, the teen realized how dangerous it was for her to fall prey to her own heart.
His scent was enough to send her senses reeling, and merely being in his presence drove her teetering on the edge of a mysterious abyss. She was certain that should she fall in, there would be no way to climb back out.
Becoming a slave to ones own passion was forbidden, but Lisa knew she was weak, both in mind and in spirit. He had complete power over her. She was his to do whatever he so pleased, and the nurse doubted her own ability to fight back.
That scared her the most. Unwavering loyalty, blind faith, and the realization that she would do anything to keep him near.