As promised, here is Part 2 of Jefferson's thrilling backstory. As always, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah, Blah, Blah, Enjoy.
A Clock in my Head: Chapter 10
(Right where we left off)
"Wait, wait, wait. Something's not adding up here." Janna interjected. "You stole from a drug lord and got him in trouble with the DEA, and as punishment he had you banished to another country? Not that I'm complaining or anything, but wouldn't it have been easier to just… you know… kill you?"
"Yeah… that's always kinda bugged me too." Jefferson admitted. "Maybe Joshua couldn't bring himself to kill me so he dumped me in Japan to save my life? Or maybe Escobar just wanted to prolong my suffering as much as possible? I don't know. And since they're both dead, I guess I never will. But either way I was in deep trouble. Joshua had taken everything from me; my driver's license, my passport, my credit cards, everything. There I was, stuck in the most obscure town in a largely non English speaking country over five thousand miles from home with no identification, no money, and no means to feed my cocaine addiction. By all rights, I should've been dead within a month."
"So then how did you survive?" the young Filipina asked with a subtle hint of urgency.
"It wasn't easy." The older Stand User admitted. "Those first few months were some of the worst of my entire life. With no money and no way to communicate with the locals, I had to cope with the withdrawal symptoms all on my own. The depression, the weakness, those god awful waking nightmares. Most days I couldn't even draw up the strength to crawl out of my alley to look at the sun. For the longest time I was certain I was gonna die. But then one day I started feeling a little stronger. And even stronger the day after that. Two weeks later I was finally strong enough to leave that damned alley and I swore I'd never go back."
Jefferson paused for a few minutes to take a swig from one of Ludo's canteens. He'd been talking for so long that his throat was getting dry.
"Ah, much better." He said with mild satisfaction. "Now then, as I was saying. Even with most of my strength back things weren't so easy for me. I didn't speak a word of Japanese so even asking people simple things like the names of streets was like pulling teeth. It took a while, but after another six months I managed to glean enough of the language to fake my way through simple conversations. After that things got a little easier. The locals got used to me and I became something of a fixture around town. A Morioh Regular, if you will. I even managed to earn a little money doing odd jobs for people. But ultimately I was still just a bum. And without any kind of ID, I had no way of proving I was an American Citizen. I was trapped in that town for six long years. I thought I was never gonna see home again. But then one day everything changed."
Once again, he paused for a moment to take another swig of water. It had been a long time since he'd talked this much.
"It was the summer of 1999, late June to be exact. I had just finished fixing some old lady's fence and I was on my way to pick up some ramen for lunch. Then, just as I was turning a corner… WHAM! Something stabbed me right in the shoulder. Broke my damn collar bone. Before I even knew what had happened, I was on the ground with an arrow sticking out of me; screaming my friggin' head off. Then there was this bright… yellow flash of light that seemed to just… burst right out of me. It was like my body exploded and reassembled itself all in the span of two seconds. And then… and then there were these two men standing over me… talking. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I shouted at them, begged them to please help me. One of them just smiled and ripped the damned thing out of my shoulder. And then they just left me there to bleed to death."
"Did you ever find out who they were?" Janna asked inquisitively.
"Nope… not that I ever really tried. I had a lot more… pressing concerns to deal with. Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a bed at the local free clinic. Apparently someone had seen the whole incident and gotten me to a doctor before it was too late. Once again I'd survived by the skin of my teeth. I stayed at the clinic for about two weeks while I regained my strength. At first everything seemed normal, aside from a few… visions I couldn't quite explain. But then one day, as the doctor was taking out my stitches, his hand slipped and he ended up stabbing me right in the shoulder. And from that sudden jolt of pain my Stand first emerged."
To help emphasize his point, Jefferson raised his arms and allowed a familiar pair of purple pit vipers to burst forth from them.
"Obviously, I had no idea what was going on, so when these babies started crawling out of my arms, naturally, I freaked out. Of course, since nobody else could see them, everybody thought I was just crazy. Hell, even I thought I was crazy. The doctors all tried to sedate me, but I gave them the slip. Then I got the hell out of there and I just kept on running. I ran and I ran for God knows how long, until finally I collapsed in a corn field."
"What do you mean no one else could see them?" Ludo spoke up suddenly. "Why couldn't they see your snakes?"
"Because Stands are invisible and can only be seen by people who have them." Jefferson explained.
"But I don't have one and I can see yours just fine."
Needless to say, the elder Stand User was a little thrown off by this shocking development.
For the first time since meeting him, Ludo had made an intelligent observation.
Highly unprecedented.
And what's worse, Jefferson didn't have an appropriate response.
Fortunately, Glossaryk stepped in to spare him from the embarrassment of having to admit this.
"Actually, I have a theory about that." The little jinn chimed in; sounding only half interested in the conversation. "You see, most Mewnian Monsters share attributes with either an animal, vegetable, or mineral. And since plants and animals are more attuned with the natural world and can therefore sense things that ordinary people can't, it makes sense that Ludo, being part bird and part reptile, would be able to see Stands despite not having one himself."
A stunned silence fell over the campsite.
"What? You wouldn't let me talk for like, eleven whole minutes. I had plenty of time to think."
"So you weren't paying attention to Jefferson's story at all?" Janna asked annoyedly.
"Well… I heard the part about his ancestor Otto, but then I got bored when I realized I wasn't in the story, so I stopped listening."
"You are just the worst kind of person."
"Not even a person, technically."
"Wait… I'm part reptile?"
"Hey!" Jefferson shouted at the top of his voice; instantly regaining their attention. "Do you morons wanna hear my life story or not?"
"Yes, Sir." They all answered in unison; except for Glossaryk who muttered "Not really."
"Okay then." The elder Stand User said before he continued. "Now, as I was saying, I'd collapsed in a cornfield somewhere outside of Morioh. But when I came to, I found myself somewhere else entirely. To be exact, I was on the balcony of a large, ornate crystal palace hovering over what appeared to be the surface of Mars. For a few moments, I thought I was dead. But then I met the owner of the palace, a fellow vagabond by the name of Ryuga Hideki. And from then on out, my life just got weirder and weirder."
Jefferson paused yet again; his throat was starting to ache a little.
"Now, as I'm sure you've already guessed, Hideki was a Stand User; the first one I'd ever met. And the first of many who'd teach me what it meant to be one. And after I'd gotten over the initial shock, he gave me the basic rundown; what Stands were, how they work, how other Stand Users were gonna be hunting me down the rest of my life, the whole ball of wax. But more importantly, he taught me the one thing… no, the only thing anyone needs to know to get by in this crazy world. It's not what you know, it's who you know. With the right friends and the right connections, even a bum can live like a king. So after spending another week or so in his pocket dimension, Hideki introduced me to a pilot friend of his who offered to take me to Hong Kong to meet a master who helped me figure out what my Stand could do. And once he had finished helping me out, he introduced me to another master who taught me how to Overlay. And thus I began my world tour. From Hong Kong to Singapore. Singapore to Kolkata. And then across India to Pakistan. Pakistan to Iran. Iran to Saudi Arabia. And finally across the Red Sea to Egypt. Once in Cairo, I spent the next eighteen months learning from an old imam, who taught me many things; including the history of Stands on the African Continent. Turns out that Africa has the highest percentage of natural born Stand Users in the world. That got me curious, so I asked him to introduce me to other scholars and historians, to help me unravel the mysterious origins of the Stand. And from there I went across the Mediterranean to Italy. Then onward to Switzerland, Germany, and the Netherlands. Life was just one grand adventure after another."
Jefferson had been so excited by this part of his story that he'd barely noticed the uncomfortable dryness in his throat. But that excitement quickly turned to sorrow when he remembered what came next.
"By the time I reached England it was early February, 2010. I remember because I was excited to be among English speaking people again and I wanted to hook up with a British chick on Valentines Day. I spent a few months living with this guy, Ralph Poindexter. We had a lot of good times me and him. But then later that same year, mid-July I think, I got the worst news of my life. Both my parents were dead. Apparently my mother had a heart attack two years after I disappeared, and my father, unable to live without her, swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills almost a year later. It was like a kick straight to the gut. Both of my parents had died thinking I was a selfish, hateful waste of human life. They'd never know what I'd learned, what I'd been through, or about any of the progress I'd made as a person. It… it was just too much. I didn't know how or why, but I knew I needed to go see their graves. If for no other reason than just to tell them how sorry I was."
Jefferson paused yet again, only this time it was to wipe a tear out of his eye.
"Anyway, Ralph understood where I was coming from, so he pulled some strings to have me smuggled back into the states on a cargo plane. Unfortunately, there was some kind of mix up with the flight plan. So instead of going to Boston, I ended up in Tierra del Fuego; within spitting distance of the South Pole. And just like that, I was back to square one. No money, no resources, and no way to get out of the country except on my own two feet. A fitting start… to a year of living hell."
End Notes:
Tune in next time for the Third and Final installment of, "The Life and Times of Jefferson Speedwagon".
After that, the regular plot will resume.
Until then, thanks for reading and Ill see you in the next one.
Peace.