Cancer
Wilting Flowers

The first thing Toshiro felt as he woke up were soft sheets covering his limbs. The second thing he felt was the throbbing headache which bothered him for some time was gone, as was the nausea in the pit of his stomach. His bright teal eyes opened up to look at the ceiling, and another uncomfortable feeling washed over him. Everything still felt fuzzy, and he still felt as if he couldn't think straight.

His head tilted to the left to see a window with a nice view of the forth division courtyard and stared for a few minutes before sitting up. "I've got to get back to work." Despite saying this out loud Toshiro found himself unable to move. "How did I end up here?" No one was there to answer, and he found himself sitting in silence. The young taicho remained perfectly still, and finally came to the conclusion, "I don't like being alone."

Even Hyorinmaru remained silent. After a bit of time one of the nurses for the forth division came in with a trey of food, and set it on his lap so he could eat. Toshiro stared at the trey of food trying to take in everything around him, but every thought ended up a blank space. His bone thin fingers also didn't strive to pick up the utensils to eat the food.

"You really should eat something Hitsugaya Taicho."

"I really don't feel like eating anything ." The young taicho continued to look down at the food. "I really don't want to do anything."

Eventually the trey of food was taken away, though Toshiro's mind couldn't figure out the reason why. His mouth felt dry, and he didn't sense someone coming into see him, but their voice pierced his skull.

"Shiro-chan."

Toshiro's head darted up to look at the small female Shinigami standing in the doorway. "Hinamori..."

The young female came over and leaned over so she was right in his face, and a snagging feeling quickly hung over his shoulders making it o he leaned back slightly. Toshiro felt Momo's breath upon his nose, and his throat felt dry as she looked him right at the eye. The manner in which she looked him right in the eye made him feel even more uncomfortable. The act of barging into his personal space made the young taicho avert his eyes, and his skin broke out in a cold sweat.

"What did you think you were doing?"

Toshiro's bright teal eyes glanced back at her. "What do you mean?"

"I heard from Isane that you actually went into one of the cells with the Quincy."

"So?"

"What do you mean so?"

"It's not really any of your business."

"I think it is." Momo's cheeks flared out from irritation. Toshiro remained silent, and instead looked away in an attempt to ignore the loudness. He felt his lips twist up into a pout, but his mind remained to fuzzy to figure out why her words upset him. "Isane said something about how you were caught in an embarrassing position with one of them. You've got bruises on your shoulder from the encounter."

"What do you mean? I don't understand why said situation is an embarrassing situation." Toshiro turned to look at Momo, and he felt his voice strain deep in his throat as his voice cracked.

"No. You wouldn't. You're still a little kid, Shiro-chan."

Red appeared in front of Toshiro's eyes, and the next thing he heard was a slapping sound. His vision cleared despite the heat remaining in his cheeks, and he saw Momo's head turned away from him with a red mark on her cheek. Something about this felt good deep down.

Momo of course didn't agree, and instead reached out for his sore shoulders. "What ever is the matter with you? Shiro-chan, don't tell me you got into that position knowing full well..."

"Get out."

The female fukutaicho blinked a couple of times. "What."

"I hate you Hinamori. I really do."

"You don't mean that. You can't."

A string of curses left Toshiro's mouth. "What don't you understand about the fact I hate you?"

Momo's hands left his shoulder, and after a few minutes he realized she was gone. The pleased feeling he felt at first left, and instead was left with a dull ache. Toshiro felt his arms wrap around himself as his eyes closed shut. A knock on the door frame made the young taicho look up to see the head taicho smiling at him. Something told Toshiro that Kyoraku wasn't pleased with him, and he darted away.

"I heard you slapped Momo-chan awhile ago. From Isane-chan that is, who heard it from Momo-chan."

"She deserved it."

"Did she?" Kyoraku came over and sat down on the edge of the bed. "What happened?"

"She..." Toshiro's eyes blinked a couple of times. "I don't exactly remember."

"Then you can't be sure."

"I'm sure I'm sure! She won't stop treating me like a little kid, and then tells me that something serious happened with that Quincy girl, when nothing happened."

"Isane says she left bruises on your shoulders."

"And she didn't even grip me that hard."

Kyoraku took a deep breath. "You shouldn't have slapped Momo-chan though. Don't you also have Karin-chan?"

Toshiro's bright teal eyes blinked a couple of times. "What are you getting at?"

"Eh, well if you don't get it yet that's alright. It will come with time."

The young taicho's lip formed into a pout, and his eyes narrowed into a glare as his arms remained crossed. "Seriously..."

"Toshiro-kun, are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine. I keep telling people I'm fine."

"You do, but you did black out twice back there. Isane-chan, I had her give you some medicine for dizziness and headaches."

"You had no right!" Toshiro swallowed as the words snapped out.

"Toshiro-kun..."

"I don't, I don't like how medicines make me feel. I don't like feeling right, I mean not right. I don't like being off balanced."

"But you were off balance without the medicine, were you not."

Toshiro felt his body tense up, and his cheeks clench. He pushed back the sheets with his free hand, and swung his legs over the edge. He stood up with no problems, and reached for his uniform.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're getting dress so you can go into the office despite the fact you know I'll forbid you to do so."

"No, that's not what I'm doing." Toshiro let his cheeks puff out in frustration. "And if you're going to tell me I need to apologize to Hinamori..."

"You do."

"After all she's done to me?"

Kyoraku let out a deep breath. "Well, I guess I can see why that would be a hard thing to do after everything she did, it's still the right thing to do." A smile cracked across the man's face. "Alright. If you're not going to the office, what are you planning on doing."

"I'm running away." The words came out of Toshiro's mouth with little to no effort. He then realized that Kyoraku hadn't responded to him, and looked up at the man to see the other taicho with a rather abused look on his face. "What? I said I'm running away, and I mean it."

"Toshiro, doesn't running away mean you've got some place to run to?"

"I've got Kurosaki's place to run off to."

"Oh, I see. You're going to lie low there until you're frustrations are gone."

"No, I'm going to be there gone."

"And what do you plan on doing while you're there?"

"I'm going to..." Toshiro stopped short. "Why aren't you trying to stop me?"

"Well, why are you doing this?"

"I'm dying."

"Why would you think that?"

"Something stupid Kurotsuchi said. Even if that weren't the case," Toshiro glanced down at the floor. "Truth is I don't know how much longer I'm going to survive."

"And?"

"And what else is there?" Toshiro looked up so he could glare at the man. "What else is there to say other then the fact I want a chance for once to live, and do something other then being a Shinigami?" The young taicho's eyes widened, and he swallowed upon realizing what he said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"I know. I know you didn't mean anything traitorous by your words." Kyoraku smiled at him, but something in the man's eyes screamed sadness. "Toshiro, this is the first time you've choosen to do something you really wanted to do, sin't it?"

"So what if it is?" The young taicho looked at the ground. "If I leave you've got to send Stealth Force after me."

"Do I?" Kyoraku let out a laugh. "I actually know exactly where you're going, and know that you'll be safe in Kurosaki's hands. Just make sure you get a limiter from twelfth division before you leave."

Toshiro's eyes narrowed. "This isn't some kind of trick to get me into twelfth division for tests is it?"

"No, it's not." Kyoraku titled his hat forward. "What are you going to do when you get there?"

"I'm going to go and play soccer with Kurosaki and her friends."

"How about instead asking her out on a date. Ask her to be your girlfriend why don't ya?"

Toshiro looked the man in the eye, and his eyes widened in horror. "What, no. I mean, I never said I liked her liked her."

"Oh, you didn't?" Kyoraku sighed. "I remember we had a conversation about how she was the one you wanted to live your life with, but I guess I'm wrong. Go have some fun for once, I'll call you if we need you."

"No, I'm not coming back."

"Really? I thought you would."

"I'm running away, remember? That means not coming back."

"I see, I see. Take care of yourself kiddo. And eventually you do owe Hinamori an apology.