Learning to Love - Chapter 11
A/N: I truly appreciate the reviews you have given, thank you for reading and/or reviewing!
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A rapture of applause shook Andromache to her core as she and Hector entered the great feasting hall after Andromache's crowning as a Trojan Princess. Hundreds of faces suddenly turned to look at them, and many of them looked in some way similar to Hector.
Someone at the far end of the hall shouted something that Andromache could not understand, and Hector laughed happily in reply. He then looked down to Andromache, and could see that she looked more petrified than he had ever seen her.
"Andromache?" he said quietly, his eyes widening in concern.
Andromache shook her head when she heard Hector's voice, as if to shake away her nerves and she looked up to him and smiled weakly. "I … I am fine." She said after a moment, and then she turned to look back at the hundreds of people conversing, laughing, and eating happily in the hall.
Hector nodded, and said nothing more. He put his hand over Andromache's as she rested it on his arm, and he led her to their places at the great table.
King Priam and Queen Hecuba had already taken their places at the head table, and their various children had taken their places also. They both turned and smiled fondly when they saw Hector and Andromache near, and Priam rose to his feet to embrace his son, and then he kissed Andromache's head softly.
As soon as Priam's lips touched her, Andromache felt her mind rush back to the last time her own father had kissed her so tenderly. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering that time, and tried to imagine that her family was with her now.
When she opened her eyes, she quickly scanned the hall once more and could almost perfectly imagine where each of her family members would sit. She could imagine Podes laughing and drinking with Hector's brothers and friends, she could see Timon and Charis sitting at the table and feeding each other grapes, and she could see her own parents toasting to her and Hector.
These thoughts clouded Andromache's mind, and she felt Hector help her into her chair, and then she felt him brush against her gently as he took his chair beside her.
Then all of a sudden, Andromache was pulled away from her thoughts when Priam stood.
"My wonderful family and friends," he said happily, "I feel blessed to be standing here today and announcing the marriage of my darling son, Prince Hector, and Princess Andromache." He then turned to look at both Hector and Andromache, and his smile broadened. "I never thought I would see the day that Hector chose to marry, and all I can say is that Princess Andromache must be a wonderful woman to capture his heart." He then raised his goblet and asked the guests to join him in toasting to the new couple.
Andromache felt her cheeks flush as hundreds of men and women toasted to her and Hector, and she felt as if her stomach was twisting and turning, not only because she and Hector were the focus of everyone's attention, but because she was thinking of Priam's words.
She had not captured Hector's heart, she did not believe she ever would and did not even know if she wanted to. Her marriage to him was purely to strengthen Thebe, and she looked at Priam and wondered why he would say such things.
"These grapes are very good," said Hector, and he suddenly placed a thorn of grapes on Andromache's plate. He then smiled at the confused look he gave her. "I simply want you to try them; I think you will like them."
Andromache couldn't help but return Hector's smile, and she pulled off one of the grapes and slowly placed it into her mouth. As she tasted it, she looked at Hector, and she uncontrollably smiled. She did like the grapes, they were like a mouth watering sensation and as soon as she had finished her first one she went on to the next.
Hector helped himself to a few more things around him, and then took a large drink of his wine before turning to Andromache once more.
"Is this all too much for you?" he asked carefully, afraid of her answer, but also afraid that she would not answer him truthfully.
Andromache looked at Hector thoughtfully for a moment, and then turned away when she could no longer bare his eyes delving into hers. "No … no, this is fine." She then smiled slightly. "You have more family and friends than I expected, but that is all … it was just a surprise to see so many people." She then laughed quietly and looked at all of the faces. "I would not be surprised if there are more people in this hall than the entire population of Thebe."
Hector laughed at that also, and looked at some of the faces in the hall also. He then lowered his voice, so that only Andromache would hear him. "I suspect you have heard how many siblings I have, and that they are not all to my mother."
"I have," said Andromache, almost ashamed to admit it.
Hector smiled weakly, almost sadly, and nodded his head slightly. "Our family has always been the topic of hundreds of stories; it would have surprised me if you had not heard." He then took a sip of his wine, and turned to look at his wife.
"I am surprised you have not asked about my brother Troilus," Said Hector, "many people usually ask as soon as they have met him … or they send a servant to find out for them." He laughed slightly, recalling one of the times a distant relative had visited and had sent a servant to the kitchens to find out more about the young boy.
Andromache remembered meeting Troilus, and had certainly been curious about him, but she was surprised that others had been curious also. She searched the hall quickly and carefully for Hector's brother, and finally she rested her eyes upon him. She stared at him for a moment, and as she looked at him she understood that it was not impossible for only her to wonder about him.
"It is not my place to ask about him," said Andromache, and she felt Hector's eyes on her and she turned to face him. "He is your brother, that is all I need to know."
"I wish others were like you," said Hector, "I wish people did not look at him and suddenly question his being. You are right … he is my brother … but … he is not my father's son."
Andromache's eyes narrowed in confusion, and she carefully stole a glance at Troilus again, and then she felt reminded of Aeneas and remembered his story, of how he was supposedly the son of Aphrodite.
The Princess' mind was running at full speed as she tried to understand Hector's words, and then it suddenly dawned upon her as she continued to look at Troilus. He was the son of a god.
Andromache looked away from him, and looked to Hector and saw he was looking at his brother. She carefully placed her hand upon his, and softly whispered: "You do not have to explain anything to me, Troilus is your brother and I am very happy to be his sister now."
Hector looked down to Andromache's hand over his and smiled softly. He then turned to look at his wife, and took his other hand and ran it along her cheek gently. "I do not deserve you … I never will."
Andromache closed her eyes at the touch of Hector's rough hand, and then slowly placed her free hand over his so she could keep his on her face. She then opened her eyes, and for a moment Hector and Andromache's eyes were locked together.
It seemed as if hours passed as they looked at one another, as they delved into one another's souls, and then suddenly a loud crash in the hall both startled them and they looked to where the noise had come from.
At the far end of the hall, Paris lay on the floor laughing after having being playfully pushed. A group of men, including Aeneas, were around him and they now all laughed too.
Hector sighed heavily, and allowed his hand to fall from Andromache's face. "I have yet to see the day when Paris can attend a feast without getting wildly drunk."
Andromache smiled, reminded of her own brother. "He is young; there is still time for him to improve."
Hector nodded. "There is still time, but I fear not enough. My father has been thinking of having Paris join the army, but … he is still so young." He then stopped for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. "It is not only a certain age that is required for the army, it is a certain mind." He then looked at Andromache, and could see her looking thoughtfully at him. "I would not wish the live of a soldier on any man who did not want it."
"Did you choose to be a soldier?" asked Andromache, her voice very soft and almost careful. She did not want to question Hector too much in case he flinched away from her.
"I am the oldest son," said Hector quietly, "my path was chosen for me before I was born." He then sighed. "I would not change anything, I am very content. I only know that the life of a soldier … and even a soldier's wife is a hard one."
Hector's last words stung Andromache painfully, and she turned to look away from him for a moment. She did not want to be reminded of being a soldier's wife, she knew she was one, but she did not want to think about it until it was absolutely necessary.
Even though she did not love him, Andromache would suffer whenever Hector went away to fight. She would wait anxiously for him to return because without him her own fate was unknown. He could die, and then what would happen to her? Would she be returned to Thebe, or would she be married off to another Trojan? And what if they had children, what would happen to their children?
All of these thoughts dashed through Andromache's mind and she was starting to feel faint. She felt her body sway slightly, and she gripped onto the table for support.
"Andromache!?" said Hector quickly, and he saw the color fade from Andromache's face. And then right before his eyes Andromache quickly started to fall from her chair, and just barely he was able to save her from falling onto the floor.
The hall was suddenly silenced and they all turned to watch as Hector rushed from the feasting hall with Andromache unconscious in his arms. He raced through the halls to their chamber, members of his family and servants following behind, and as soon as he reached their chamber he rested his wife onto their bed.
"The surgeon has been called, Hector," said Aeneas and he stood by Hector, an anxious and worried look freely expressed on his face.
"Get some cold water and cloths!" ordered Hecuba as she entered the room briskly, and knelt down beside Andromache.
Priam soon entered the room also and he stood beside Hector and rested an arm on his shoulder.
"Perhaps the heat in the hall was too much for her," suggested Priam, as he looked down to Andromache.
Hector looked down to Andromache and he shook his head slowly, but only Aeneas noticed. Hector knew that was not why his wife fainted, he knew it was an accumulation of marrying him, moving to Troy, and reminding her that she was the wife of a soldier finally pushed her over the edge she had been hanging on.
Hecuba looked around the room and the dozens of faces that had appeared. She sighed heavily. "I think it best that only a few of us remain, Princess Andromache needs air to breathe."
Priam nodded in agreement, and he and many others left, leaving only Hecuba, Hector, and a few servants in the room.
Sofia then suddenly entered the room, the royal appointed surgeon following closely behind her.
"How long has she been unconscious?" asked the surgeon, as he rushed into the room. He did not waste time on formally greeting Hector or Hecuba; instead he went to Andromache's side and pushed aside the servant who was wetting her head with a damp cloth.
"No more than ten minutes," said Hector, and he watched anxiously as the surgeon felt Andromache's wrist for her pulse.
"Has she been acting normally?" asked the surgeon.
Hector could only nod his head; he looked down at Andromache and felt sickness run through him and try to escape. He felt guilty, it rushed through him and all he wanted to do was embrace Andromache and apologise for all he had put her through.
In that moment he wished he had never chosen to marry, he wished he could turn back the time so Andromache could still be with her family and he would never have to meet her and put her through so much pain.
Moments seemed lost as Hector wrestled with his guilt, and he heard his mother and the surgeon talking and then he turned to them and tried to make sense of what they were saying.
"She is probably just exhausted," said the surgeon to Hecuba, "these last few days have been a lot for her, which is of course understandable. When she wakes up, have her eat a little and then she needs to rest."
"When will she wake up?" asked Hecuba.
"She may not wake until morning now," said the man, and he looked down to Andromache and felt her pulse once more. "She is breathing nicely now, and is probably just resting. If she does not wake by tomorrow afternoon, I will come again."
Hecuba nodded, and thanked the surgeon and then showed him out of the room. She then stood by the door for a few moments, and then returned to the bed chamber.
Hector now sat beside Andromache, and he was brushing the hair out of her face. She was cold to touch, and a few quivering breaths escaped from her as he gently caressed her face.
"I should never have married her," said Hector, upon hearing his mother return. "No woman should have to share a life with me."
Hecuba quickly walked up to her son and turned him to face her. She knelt down in front of him, and forced him to look at her. "Hector, it is an honor for any woman to marry you!"
Hector scoffed at his mother's words. "Yes … it is an honor to live in fear of whether or not I will return when I go away to fight, it is an honor to marry a soldier like me who knows nothing of women."
"Do not say such things, do not even think them!" said Hecuba, sadly. She looked at her darling boy, her first-born, and could see how he wrestled with his thoughts. "Life is hard, marriage is hard, but the blessings that come from them are what makes each day worthwhile." She then sighed heavily, and looked to Andromache. "Andromache is a beautiful young woman, and more your match than I would have ever imagined. I know that one day you will both love each other, I can see it even beginning now."
Hector shook his head at the absurd thought of already falling in love with Andromache. He hoped that one day they would love each other, but it was too soon, he did not feel as if he deserved her love or even deserved to love her.
"Yes, Hector!" said Hecuba sternly. "How else can you explain why you feel like this now? You feel like this now because you like Andromache … and one day that like will turn into love and it will be the most amazing thing you have ever felt."
"Is that how you feel about father?" Hector asked.
Hecuba looked at Hector for a few moments before replying. "Yes … that is how I feel about your father. He is my life, he is my world. I could not imagine live without him, I could not imagine letting a day go by without being near him."
"How … how can you share him then?" asked Hector, and even though he was a grown man he was worried of his mother's reproach at his blunt question. He had never dared to question his parent's relationship, but now he wanted to know, he felt he needed to understand.
For a few moments Hecuba just looked her son in disbelief. She could not believe he had asked her what she had feared to be asked for so many years. She had seen women of the court dart around the subject, and she hadn't cared, but now that her own son was asking her this question she felt as if she could crumble in his arms because she had always kept the true answer hidden.
For years she had stood to one side and not protested while Priam took countless women to his bed chambers. She had heard servants gossiping, she had seen child after child be born to various women, and she had always either turned a blind eye or acted as if it did not bother her. But it had always bothered her, no matter how much she tried or wished to be friends with some of the women, she could not help but feel disdain towards them. And the only reason she said nothing was because she did not want to lose Priam. He truly was her world, she loved him and their children more than anything, and she was not prepared to ruin anything by revealing how she truly felt.
"Your father is the King of Troy," said Hecuba carefully, after a few minutes, "I share him with every citizen of Troy." And she paused for a moment, and then continued. "I share him because I love him so much that I would rather die than not have him at all."
Then Andromache stirred in her sleep, and both Hector and Hecuba turned to look at her. She still slept peacefully, and Hecuba rose to her feet.
"You should rest now, my son," she said gently. She then left the room without another word.
Hector watched as his mother left, and then continued to stare at the door for a few moments before he finally rose to his feet and walked over to his armor stand. He very slowly and quietly then began to undress from his formal soldier attire, and once he was fully undressed he wrapped a small cloth around his waist and then walked out onto the balcony.
The city was cloaked in darkness, and the sky overhead was now full of sparking stars. He rested his palms on the wall of the balcony and exhaled slowly.
For the first time in his life he truly had no idea what he was doing. Before meeting Andromache he always knew what his life entailed, he always knew he was a soldier and that he would be sent away to fight, but since marrying Andromache she had been swept into his life too and now their paths were joined together and clouded.
He hated not knowing what was going to happen, he hated not knowing how Andromache would adjust to Troy and to him. He hated the thought of leaving Andromache if ever the army was called away because he would feel he was abandoning her here. He believed that he was solely responsible for Andromache's life and her happiness as he was the one who had chosen to marry her.
Hector looked up to the heavens and inwardly begged the gods to guide him, to help guide him along a path where Andromache would be happy with him. He would never be able to live with himself if she was miserable in Troy because he would know he was the cause of it.
"What happened?" asked a voice, and Hector spun around to see Andromache stepping out onto the balcony.
Hector's heart nearly leapt out of his chest with joy as soon as he saw Andromache, and he rushed up to her and embraced her.
"I am so happy you're awake," he exclaimed joyously.
"What happened?" Andromache asked again, a slight note of worry in her voice. She could only remember being in the feasting hall and speaking with Hector, and as the minutes flew by she remembered what Hector was speaking of and remembered feeling faint.
"You fainted," replied Hector, and he pulled away from Andromache, a broad smile on his face. "I am so glad you are awake."
Andromache tried her best to smile, but she couldn't help worrying at hearing that she had fainted. There had been very few times in her life that she had fainted, and when she thought of what Hector had said she felt nauseous and lightheaded again.
She lightly pushed past Hector and sat down in one of the chairs on the balcony, and began to inhale and exhale slowly.
Hector's eyes widened in surprise and anxiety, and he knelt down beside Andromache as she sat in the chair. "What is wrong, do you feel ill again? Do you want me to call for the surgeon?"
Andromache shook her head. "No … no I am fine. Just a little tired."
Hector nodded, and he took Andromache's hand in his. "Would you like me to carry you to the bed?"
Andromache couldn't help but laugh at her husband's sincere words. She looked at him and shook her head slightly. "No, I will be fine. I just want to catch some of the air before I go back inside … if that is –"
"That is fine," interjected Hector, and he smiled and then sat in the chair beside Andromache.
Andromache looked down to the floor uncomfortably. "I … I am sorry if I worried you. I seem to be doing that a lot, and I do not mean to."
Hector looked at Andromache for a few moments, and then lifted her head gently with his index finger so she would look directly at him. "You never have to apologise to me, Andromache. I cannot even begin to imagine how much you have been through since you met me."
Instinctively, Andromache leaned forward and pressed her lips against Hector's. At first she was anxious, and nervous to kiss him too much, and then she felt Hector's arms wrap around her back and she felt her hands run up his arms and find themselves in his hair.
For the first time since meeting him, Andromache lost herself completely. She lowered all of the walls protecting her heart, and allowed Hector's kiss to gush into every corner of her body.
His very touch rushed through her body and warmed every inch of her. She could feel the hair on her neck raise, and Goosebumps began to appear.
Finally Hector pulled away breathlessly, and he looked at Andromache and could see a small and embarrassed smile on her face. In that moment he felt as if he was seeing his wife for the very first time, he could look into her eyes and she was no longer guarding her soul. Instead she was allowing him to take a glimpse.
As Hector continued to look at Andromache, she could feel tears seep into her eyes and she wanted to look away from her husband so he couldn't see them but he already had and he stroked her face softly with the back of his hand.
Andromache closed her eyes at Hector's touch, and she felt a tear slip through her barriers and slip slowly down her cheek. She hastily moved to wipe it away, like she had once done before, but Hector was too fast for her and he gently wiped it away for her.
"I am sorry," said Andromache, and she placed her hand over Hector's as he cupped her cheek. She felt so weak and inferior in front of him, she wanted nothing more than to run and hide.
Hector looked at his wife, and a low breath released from him. He looked at his wife and she was such a proud young woman, yet under the surface he was beginning to see how much she felt.
"I want you to be happy, Andromache," Hector whispered, too scared to speak loudly in case he made Andromache flinch away from him. "I want you to be happy with me."
"I will be," Andromache whispered, just as quietly as Hector, "I am happy."
Hector shook his head. "No, you are not." He then sighed, and watched as Andromache opened her eyes to look at him. "It is fine if you are not happy; you are allowed to be confused, sad, or even scared." He then paused for a moment, and a slight smile crept across his lips. "I promise you this though, dear Andromache, you will be happy in Troy. Even if it kills me, I will make sure you are happy in Troy."
A small laugh escaped Andromache as she listened to Hector's foolish words. However, as she looked at him she realised that he truly meant what he said. She realised that even if it did take his death, he would make her happy.
For a moment silence surrounded them like an awkward feeling of tension, and then laughter was heard from the courtyard below and Hector and Andromache were drawn away from their own thoughts and each other.
Hector rose to his feet and looked over the balcony. He scowled at the sight he saw, and then turned away.
A puzzled look crossed Andromache's face as she looked at Hector, and she stood up and walked over to the balcony. She peered over it slowly, and saw Prince Paris kissing a young maiden.
"He can never contain himself," muttered Hector, an obvious tone of annoyance in his voice. "Perhaps the army would be good for him."
Andromache looked at her husband, and could not ignore the sharpness of his tone. "Perhaps," was all she could say in reply. She could hear more giggling from the courtyard, and in her heart she knew that joining the army would not cure Hector's brother, it would only break him.
"I think I shall retire now," said Andromache, and she began to drift towards their chamber.
"Andromache?" said Hector, and he watched as Andromache turned to look at him with a slight look of curiosity and surprise on her face.
"Yes?"
"If it was your brother, what would you do?" Hector asked.
For a moment Andromache thought carefully, and then she stared directly into Hector's eyes. "I would talk to him, try to help and guide him in any way I could." She then exhaled, and took a step closer towards Hector. "You are a wonderful man, Hector, and he would do well to look up to you if he does not already."
Andromache smiled shyly, and then turned and entered their chambers.
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