Chapter 11
OK Go: Get Over It
Sparring Match Music – Anamanaguchi: Subboss Theme
A/N: This is possibly the most random A/N you will ever read in this fic. Basically, a friend of mine edited the Wild Mass Guessing of the TVTropes page and included an idea, which I imagine some of you will have seen. Said friend and I now have a bet going, where if he gets 300 pen yes responses on the poll on my author page for the idea, I will put in his crazy idea in one scene as a joke. I'm not gonna spoil what the idea is…just check my author page and the WMG page.
After that little bit of randomness…chapter go!
Slowly, I begin to open my eyes, screwing them tightly shut again after the light blitzes my senses. Ah, shit, that stings…I always forget how anaesthetic makes me feel after surgery. As my body functions gradually get up and running to conscious levels again, I'm quickly hit by a pulsing headache, a throbbing pain from my chest where the surgery occurred…and all this before my eyesight's sorted itself out. Fuck, the only way this could be worse is if I'd had a vision or something…
"Ah, good, you're awake," Chakwas's voice comes from somewhere across the room, sounding a little muffled from the anaesthetic induced haze. I open my eyes, even more cautiously this time, and vaguely make out the doctor's blurry outline opposite me. Man, this is probably what Kaidan feels like when he gets a migraine…as if my brain's being repeatedly hit by Saren fangirls with baseball bats for trying to stop him. "How are you feeling?"
"Faaantastic," I groan sarcastically, trying my best Frank West impression. "Remind me not to get any more scars, I don't want to wake up like this again, ever."
"Duly noted," she chuckles, and as my vision starts to clear I see a faint smile on her face. "The operation went without a hitch, you'll be pleased to hear. Got rid of the burns, but kept the gunshot one there like you asked. The anaesthetic should wear off fully in about half an hour, I'll let you of here then."
"Thanks, Chakwas," I say, shaking my head slightly to clear my vision, which only results in worsening my headache. "Damn, I feel terrible."
"I thought you were supposed to some tough soldier or super-cop," Chakwas teases. "All it takes is mild side effects from anaesthetic, a little headache, and you're whining like a child."
I sigh and sink back into the bed Chakwas has me lying on. "Thanks for the sympathy." Chakwas exhales, sharply and derisively. "I'm sort of the sensitive tough guy," I try explaining. "Real men admit when they're in pain."
"Uh-huh," she smirks, clearly not convinced. There's a surprise. "Well, take a look at your chest, see if the horrific pain you're in is worth it." I roll my eyes at her, then glance down to the burn scars…or specific lack of them. The area's still throbbing away from the operation, but there's no signs of the previous injuries, instead just perfect, unblemished skin. Even the little cuts and stuff I've picked up are gone. I can't help a smile starting to form on the edges of my mouth. That's fucking amazing…
"Pretty good job, I'd say," Chakwas comments, picking up on my smile.
"Sympathetic and modest," I chuckle. "What a combination."
"Pain threshold of a child and sarcastic," she retorts, smirking. "You've got quite the personality yourself." Ouch.
"I suppose I deserved that," I reply, scratching the back of my head. Chakwas nods, laughing. "If I wasn't all drugged up like this, I'd come up with some scathing comeback, but my brain's barely holding together as it is."
"Of course, of course," the doctor chuckles, turning her back on me and fiddling with some equipment. My vision's pretty much back to normal now, as is my hearing, although the headache's still pounding away, as is the throbbing in my chest. Nothing some R&R and ice cream won't fix, though…
"If you're going to be in here for half an hour, do you want me to grab someone for you to talk to?" Chakwas suddenly asks.
"I'm that boring?" I reply, feigning hurt. "I've been conscious, what, less than five minutes, and you're already sick of me?"
"I have some crew medical files to sort out, and the surgery equipment to deal with," she explains, smiling. "Some part of me thought you might not want to sit on your own for thirty minutes staring at wall, or something."
"Oh, right," I say, feeling incredibly stupid for not working that out in the first place. "Erm…in that case, can you see if Garrus is free for me?"
She nods. "Of course. I'll page his omni-tool." She pops hers open, presses a single button, then closes it again. "Sorry, Ian, but I really need to try and get this all done before we reach the Citadel. I'd quite like some shore leave myself, truth be told."
"Fair enough," I nod, giving her a reassuring smile to show I don't mind. Which is true, I can understand wanting to work without having to babysit someone… "Thanks for everything, Chakwas."
"Just doing my job, Ian," she replies happily. "Hopefully I won't be seeing too much of you in here again."
It takes my drug-riddled mind a few seconds to process her words, but it still raises a laugh once I finally get it. God, I'm really not on form when I wake up… "I'll try my best, Chakwas. But if I ever fall in some lava, I'll know who to come running to."
"I'll see you later, Ian," she laughs, heading around the corner and through into her proper office. I sigh deeply, settling back in the bed and getting comfortable on the pillows. I really hate sitting around with nothing to do. Normally, I never usually have a reason to sit around, doing fuck all…at C-Sec there was usually some form to fill out, emergency to attend, then back at the flat with Garrus there was always TV, or the shooting range if we got really bored, I could always go to the gym, chat with someone, go out with Rebecca…
For fuck's sake, I'm angsting again! I try to force the train of thought out of my mind, but it just stays there, nagging away at me. Whether I like it or not, the mission to the MSV Fedele is growing closer and closer…as is finding Rebecca. Garrus and I have always been outwardly optimistic that she's still alive…but inside, I'm having my doubts, and I know Garrus is, despite his best efforts to hide it from me. In Mass Effect 1, everyone on Saleon's ship has been transformed into a husk. Everyone. Why the hell should Rebecca be the exception?
No, I'm not doing this. If I get pessimistic, Saleon's won. She's still out there, and I'm finding her. End of story. All I need now is the transponder codes to bear some fruit…there's a sudden whoosh as the door into the med-bay opens, and Garrus steps through, trademark awkward grin firmly on his face when he sees me in the bed. Well, thank God he's here to take my mind off wherever my thoughts were going…though the ship codes are still in mind as he heads towards me.
"You're looking good, considering what it was like last time I saw you in a hospital bed," he jokes, grabbing a chair and pulling it up next to me. "You didn't die during surgery this time, did you?"
"Very sensitively put, Garrus," I mutter, lightly punching him on the arm, but I can't help smiling at his words. "The galaxy didn't end in my temporary absence, did it?"
"As if," he replies. "Though it was nice, for a few hours I could speak freely without someone trying cheap comebacks every time I opened my mouth."
"Oh, shut up," I laugh. "You're just as bad, and don't even pretend you don't deserve it most of the time."
"Seriously, though," he says, once he's done laughing. "Chakwas looks like she's done a good job."
I nod. "Her words exactly," I explain. "Can't say she's lying, though. Twenty minutes or so, and I'm up and about again."
"Impressive," he muses. "So, I guess you wanted me up here for the company, then?"
"Pretty much," I say. My mind jumps back to him playing with Shepard on Galactic Terror Six…I wonder. "How you getting along with the squad?"
He looks thoughtful for a second, nodding his head slightly as he thinks how to answer the question. "Not bad. Kaidan's friendly enough, even if he gave me a bit of a weird look on the way here for some reason." I barely stop myself from laughing when he says that…oh, poor Kaidan. "And I was talking to the quarian, Tali, in engineering." Garrus continues. "Nice person, but I don't think she liked it when I started winding her up about quarian immune systems." Ah, the subject of countless in-game elevator conversation…good to see they're getting along, though, in the sort of 'bickering siblings' relationship they had in Mass Effect 1 and 2. "Ash is alright, but she doesn't seem to interested in talking, and Wrex is his usual self. Probably wouldn't even give me the time of day, if I asked."
"Just give him time, he'll probably come around," I reassure Garrus, though I'm not quite sure I believe myself…but that's not the point, I was trying to get him to talk about Shepard! Christ, how much do I have to hint at it…
"How'd you find our first mission, then?" Garrus asks, before I can push my point forward. Damn it! Though I've still got about twenty odd minutes, so it's not like it's really that urgent…'a matter of dire urgitude', as Fizwideget from Ratchet and Clank 2 would have said. God, the anaesthetic is throwing up some weird memories…
"Apart from having part of my chest burned away, having my nose broken by a geth, getting clawed at by an enormous varren and almost falling off the skyway?" Garrus nods enthusiastically. "It was great. We should totally do it again some time." The turian simply folds his arms, and leans back in his chair, the movement he usually gives when he's not impressed by whatever attempt at humour I've had a go at. "Honestly? It was good. We saved the colony, we're one step closer to finding Saren, I got to blow up a few geth…it actually feels like we're making a big difference with Shepard."
"More than we did at C-Sec, that's for sure," Garrus grins his agreement. Actually, I can't quite say I totally agree with that…
"I don't know, Garrus, we did a lot at C-Sec," I point out. "Remember that Ricardo Fernandez guy? If we hadn't stopped him, thousands of people on the Citadel would have died. Caltan Xenvalis, too, we stopped a serial killer then."
"I know, but now we're doing something that affects the entire galaxy, not just the Citadel," he says. "Now we've got no rules to get in the way as well, I'd say this beats C-Sec."
"Yeah, but rules aren't always bad," I frown. I hate it when he gets like this… "Maybe if Spectres had some regulations to follow, maybe we wouldn't be in this position with Saren. It gets me worried when you talk like this, mate."
"Relax, Ian, don't take it so literally," he says calmly. "I'm just excited to be here, that's all."
I nod, slowly. I know, in his heart, he probably isn't quite as extreme about this as he's making it sound…still worries me, though. "Alright. I think I know what you mean, anyway." We sit in silence for a few seconds, contemplating the conversation. Actually, this wouldn't be a bad time to bring up the subject of Shepard…
"What do you think of the Commander, then?" I ask quickly, once again trying to read Garrus's reaction. And once again, his plated face and mandibles give very little away. However, I catch a little twitch when I mention Shepard, a tiny movement anyone else might have missed…but I know Garrus, and that little twitch in his mandibles means I've hit some kind of nerve. It ain't conclusive, but it's hardly contusive to saying there's nothing there, either.
"She's great," he smiles. "Really nice, when you were in surgery we were playing that game pretty much the whole time, she was telling me about all the stuff she's got up to before all this…" He catches my raised eyebrow, and moves quickly to cover himself. "Fearless leader as well, amazing in battle. If anyone's going to beat Saren, it's her." I consider pushing him on the 'personality' details he was going on about…but stop myself. I resolved not to play matchmaker unless one of them explicitly mentions it to me…and I'm not breaking a promise I made to myself. Garrus suddenly launches off into a rant about the dextro-amino 'crap' he's getting for food on the ship…so I settle back into my pillow, adjust my position slightly, and listen away to my best friend's conversation, actually relaxed for the first time in a long while.
################
"So, I think it's my visor not working, but then it really turns out Wrex is winning with twenty one kills," Garrus moans, right eye looking at said visor's display. "You're way back on fifteen, mind, but still, I can't believe the krogan's winning!"
"You'll get over it," I sigh. "At least you're not last, unlike yours truly."
"You can close a gap of six," Garrus replies, encouragingly. "One well placed grenade and you're back in the game!" Just as he says that, there's a beeping from the watch on my wrist, and Chakwas comes around the corner at the noise.
"There we are, you should be good to go now," she says, then looks at the turian sitting next to me and smiles. "Hello, Garrus."
"Chakwas," he smiles back, looking a bit…shy? "How are you doing?"
"Quite good," she replies. I'm picking up something here, feels oddly like a private joke…before I can mention anything, though, the doctor turns her attention back to me.
"Just try to get up, Ian, nice and slow, just in case it hasn't quite worn off yet." Frankly, my head and vision feel absolutely fine now, as does my chest…but I'm still careful hopping out of the bed. Fortunately, my legs are solid as rock when I touch down. Good thing, too, I'm beginning to get a little sick of the med-bay…
"I think we're all good," I inform Chakwas, who nods.
"Alright," she smiles. "Hopefully we won't be doing that again. I'll see you later, Ian. You too, Garrus." The turian smirks as we both head out of the door…alright, what the hell is going on? I HATE private jokes I'm not in on! As soon as the med-bay door slides shut, I look at Garrus, raising my eyebrows.
"What was that all about?" I ask, innocently, as we head to the elevator leading down to the garage and step inside.
"What was what about?" he replies innocently, but it's blatantly obvious he's lying.
"You know damn well," I say, lightly poking him in the chest. "You and Chakwas. There was some joke going on there, I know it!"
He looks torn between denying it again or spilling the beans, before finally relenting. "She did my full health examination earlier on. Just the normal physical stuff, so on, but then she asked about…" he coughs, lightly. "Well, you know." I raise an eyebrow. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" he asks. Ohhhhh!
"Ah, right," I chuckle. "So what, though? Asking about how often you have sex isn't exactly out of the ordinary in a full scale check-up like the ship needs, is it?" He literally cringes when I say that, but continues anyway. (A/N: I have no idea if this is actual normal practice. Just go with it.)
"That's just it. It's normal practice, but I ended up misinterpreting it and being wayyy too specific. There was this one time when I was in the turian military, I got in this sparring match with a scout…" He stops himself midsentence, looking incredibly embarrassed. Aw, bless him. "Let's not go into the details, because that's pretty much what I did talking with her." I try to keep serious for a few seconds…and fail completely, instead bursting into laughter. Garrus frowns as we descend, but can't help chuckling after a few seconds, before we both descend into full-blown laughter.
"Are you serious?" I finally manage to gasp. It took him about two or three years to share it with Shepard in the game…and he just tells it to Chakwas? Holy shit, social awkwardness ahoy… "Christ, no wonder it was so awkward in there…"
"Don't tell anyone, Ian," he pleads, as the elevator doors finally open up into the garage. "I'd like to think I've got some kind of reputation to uphold around here."
"Of course," I reassure him. "Your secret's safe with me. I've got something I need to ask you before we get to the garage, though."
"No, the codes haven't come up with anything yet," he responds immediately, mandibles drooping apologetically. "You're just going to have to wait it out, Ian. Something's going to show up soon."
"I know, I know," I nod firmly, just as the elevator door opens, and I spot Wrex standing over by his crates…may as well mess with Garrus's head as I leave. "Alright, Wrex!" I shout over to the krogan. "You'll never guess the news I just got!"
I hear Garrus groaning something in turian behind me as I jog over towards the bemused battlemaster.
#############
"What's the news, Ian?" Wrex asks, though is his tone contains so little interest it's barely a question.
"Oh, you're just winning the kill competition, that's all," I say quickly, giving Garrus a wink as he walks back to his corner. The turian just flicks me off subtly as he walks by.
"That's it? No, it's something else, something about the turian. Did he admit to loving Shepard?" Wrex asks, obviously not convinced by my statement.
"What? No!" I reply, frowning a bit. "You're really winning, twenty one kills. What's with the thinking about Garrus and Shepard anyway?"
"When you've been around as long as I have, you can tell these things," Wrex says, quietly, to avoid drawing Garrus's attention. "They might not like to admit it, but there's something there. I can see it."
"That's…really creepy," I point out. "Do you have to be so blunt about it?"
"Call it what you want, it's true," Wrex grunts. "And on Tuchanka, if you're not straight up with someone, you get killed. My father should have known that." He glares at the floor for a few seconds, obviously thinking back to his childhood for a few seconds. Of course, he killed his own father, didn't he…though circumstances did kind of force his hand. Life or death situations tend to have that effect. Before I can push it though, he looks up at me again. "From the sounds of things, that's not why you came down here to talk, though. Something on your mind?"
"Not particularly. Just wondering if our first mission helped get rid of that 'weak' idea you have of me," I grin. Wrex grunts out a laugh, smiling to himself a little bit.
"A bit," he finally admits. Hell YEAH, son! "You stayed calm, kept fighting even when you got injured, and killing an alpha varren is impressive work, even with the turian helping you. Might not be up to krogan standards yet…but you've got something, I guess."
"Ah, I knew you'd warm to me eventually," I smile, punching him on the arm. The look he gives me when I do that reminds me of John Casey when someone tries doing that to him…
"There's a big difference between respecting someone as a warrior and being friends, Ian," he scowls. "We can talk, but don't ruin what you've managed to build up here."
"Of course," I reply quickly, taking a step back to give the krogan his full personal space. I've got to remember the friendly approach doesn't really work with krogan… "Just glad we got the weak thing out of the way, that's all." Wrex just growls softly in response, but keeps his eyes on me, signalling the conversation isn't done quite yet.
"I'm sure it'll come back up sometime," he says, a little mockingly, then switches the subject. "So, what do you think of it?"
The question catches me a bit off guard. "Erm…it?" I ask, confused. "Can you be any less specific?"
"All this," he says, sweeping a huge arm around the room for emphasis. "The Normandy, the mission, Saren. Are you confident?"
"Of what, success?" He nods, looking a little exasperated. "Well…we've got the best ship in the Alliance, that's for sure. The squad's small, but we're good, and if anyone's going to win this for us it's Shepard. Why? Something on your mind about it?"
"Not exactly," he says, sounding thoughtful. "Saren tried to employ me once, though, quite recently." I raise an eyebrow. I vaguely remember him mentioning something like this in Mass Effect 1…but I don't really know the details. I'm really regretting only playing through it once, now I'm actually living through its events… "I refused the job. I was never going to work for a turian, but my instincts told me there was something about him, something I couldn't trust. Turns out I was right. A week later, every mercenary under his employ was dead." Wrex shakes his head, a little sadly. "He doesn't know compassion, he's got no honour, and that makes for a difficult opponent. Plus his ship can apparently control minds, if that asari was telling the truth."
"Come on, Wrex, don't be a pessimist," I respond, actually a little surprised by his words. "He's heartless, but there's where we've got the advantage. The moral high ground, if you will."
"Moral high ground won't do you much good when you're dead," Wrex points out. Ah, touché…
"Well, you think what you want," I reply, my tone taking a bit of an annoyed turn before I can stop myself. "But you're supposed to be the big, fearless warrior, so you're the kind of person I'd expect to know the worst way to go into battle is thinking you've already lost."
"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, Ian," Wrex says, voice staying levelling but taking a dangerous turn. "I don't start fights I'm not going to win, but whatever naïve idea you have of just shooting around the galaxy and stopping Saren without a care in the world is idiotic. This is real warfare, not C-Sec. None of us are going to come out of this unscathed, if you ask me. We might even lose people. I'm not a pessimist, but I'm not going to delude myself either."
The krogan's words stun me into silence for a few seconds. We're going to lose people…my mind's drawn to Virmire. We're going to lose people… Ash or Kaidan…I hadn't even thought about it much before, but now Wrex has inadvertently brought it up, the thought of the one of the two very real people on this ship, my new friends, dying is like having an anvil dropped on my head. I really hadn't thought about it, and probably for good reason…fuck's sake, I need to cheer up. Virmire's a long way away, and maybe it'll be different, or something…
"You know, Wrex, you might be right," I nod, slowly, still mulling over his words. "Food for thought."
"What?"
"Human idiom," I explain, unable to help smiling a bit. I always love it when the aliens get confused at our idioms… "I want to see the rest of the crew before we hit the Citadel, actually," I say, signalling an end to the conversation, which Wrex seems perfectly happy with. "I'll see you later, Wrex."
"Yeah, see you," the krogan mutters, before turning his attention back to…whatever it is he does down here. Well, that was a rather depressing conversation…though at least on the bright side, he doesn't see me as a complete weakling anymore! Every cloud has a silver lining, I guess.
I stroll into engineering, the sight of the drive core lifting my spirits, as does the sight of the quarian waving to me as I walk in. If I ever want somewhere to cheer me up, I need to come here. The sight of the drive core always gives me chills, in a good way, plus talking to the eternal optimist that is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya is guaranteed to help.
"How's things, Tali?" I ask, walking up to her. Even though I can't see her face, the general body language suggests she's probably smiling under the mask.
"Good, thank you," she replies, happily. "Everything in engineering's running smooth, we just optimised the drive core balance to maximise…"
I hold up my hands against the barrage of technical talk I can feel is coming. "That's great, Tali, but I meant how are things with you specifically."
"Oh, right," she says, sounding a little embarrassed. "Well, they're good, as well. I was hoping to see a little action with Shepard, truth be told, but there'll be other missions. Besides, it gave me plenty of time to put in work here."
"I reckon Shepard's just testing the squad, finding out everyone's strengths and weaknesses," I reassure her. "If you're not on the next mission, I'd be amazed. Same with Ash."
"That's good to know," she responds, sounding relieved. "I like the ship, but I didn't sign up just to be an engineer."
"God, of course not," I say. "We all saw you in the alleyway, seems you can handle yourself pretty well."
"I'd still be dead without you there," she points out, tone of voice sounding almost…teasing?
"Yeah, so you keep reminding me," I say. "Believe me, once you get out in the field, people saving your life becomes pretty much normal practice. It does for me, anyway."
"I'll bear that in mind," she laughs. "Shepard came down to see me earlier, actually, we talked about what happened on the mission. From the sounds of it, I got quite a good one to miss."
"Jesus Christ, tell me about it," I sigh. "Zombies, mind controlling plants, geth everywhere, almost falling off a skyway…I reckon Saren's going to have trouble topping that kind of opposition for us anywhere else!"
"I certainly hope so," she says. "Killing geth sounds better than fighting mutated plant life forms. Tech skills probably work better with the former."
Tech skills…that actually reminds me. I barely ever use my omni-tool in fights, so maybe Tali can give me some kind of techniques or something to help with that… "Speaking of tech," I begin, feeling a little awkward asking for help like this, "can you give me a hand with my omni-tool?"
"Sure," she nods, happily. "Why, what's wrong with it?" Well, she doesn't seem to mind…
"Underpowered, if anything," I say, pulling back my sleeve and exposing the tiny device attached to my wrist. "Doesn't matter how much energy I'm putting into an Overload, the best I'm getting is maybe taking down a geth trooper's shields, when I'm going for the kill."
"I think I know the problem," Tali says, reaching out and grabbing my wrist with one three-fingered hand, removing the omni-tool skilfully with the other. I swear I feel a little spark or something when she touches my skin…but she doesn't seem to have noticed it as she pulls the device away and starts examining it. Probably just electronic discharge from the omni-tool when it got removed…
"Yeah, I thought so," she mumbles, pretty much to herself. "You got this from C-Sec, right?" I nod, but she keeps talking, obviously knowing she was right without even having to check my response. "They put a power limiter on these, so one person can't cause too much damage. Pretty easy to override, though, at least it is for a quarian. Give me a second." She opens her omni-tool, presses a few buttons, fiddles with my omni-tool… "There we are," she says brightly. "All done."
"Shit, that was quick," I say, admiringly, as she hands it back to me and I snap it back into place. I pop it open and quickly check the display…and true to her word, I've got almost double the power discharge available in it than I had before. "Cheers, Tali!"
"Cheers?" she asks. "Isn't that what humans say when they're toasting drinks to something?"
I laugh when she says that, and the quarian immediately folds her arms when I do. Oh, crap, that probably seemed a little insensitive… "I'm not laughing at you," I quickly explain, "but I've had a friend ask me that before, before I came onto the ship, even before C-Sec. She pretty much said exactly what you did, word for word. It basically just means thank you, but in a less formal way."
"Oh, okay," Tali says, unfolding her arms and taking a much happier position. "Sorry, but sometimes people find it hard to tell if I'm confused or just joking because they can't see my expression, and I get a little defensive if they misinterpret it or something."
"No, no, it's fine," I say quickly. "I shouldn't have laughed, anyway, it was rude."
"Forget about it, I can see why you did," she reassures me, before a small beep from her omni-tool sounds and she curses under her breath. "Sorry, Ian, I need to get some stuff done before we reach the Citadel, that beep meant we'll be arriving in about an hour. My omni-tool's not doing too good itself, I want to see if I can fix it."
"No problem, I was gonna try and find Ash before we touched down," I say. "Actually, Garrus and I were going shopping on the Citadel when we get there, for armour and stuff. If it turns out you need a new omni-tool, feel free to come with. Nice talking to you, anyway."
"You know, I might do that. But tell Garrus not to talk about the Flotilla, because it's not funny!" I chuckle. Oh, man, those two have some good banter… "And it was nice talking to you as well," she continues happily. "Cheers."
I laugh properly now as I walk out, smiling to the quarian and getting a wave goodbye as I walk out the door. Man, Ash isn't in her usual spot…screw it, if we've got an hour before we reach the Citadel, I promised myself I'd look into going to the gym after how tired I was on Feros…may as well just bite the bullet and get it done.
#########
I stroll into the gym on the floor below the garage, adjacent to the crew quarters. And holy crap, it beats the shit out of the equipment I was using in 2010. Treadmills with holographic displays, computer displays on all the weights machines to track workout progress and ideal work-load, all manner of cardiovascular stuff…and in a large area to the side, a combat training zone, complete with punch-bags, mats, and even a padded sparring ring. The gym is pretty much empty, except for one crewman I don't know having a go on a treadmill, and conveniently, Ash is also down here, beating the shit out of one of the bags, wearing a vest and tracksuit bottoms. I suppose if I want a gym buddy, she's as good a one as any…
"Ian," she gasps on approach, sounding pretty tired. I can see a thin coat of sweat on her forehead and arms…and from the looks of the bag, she's been here a while. "What brings you down here?"
"Exercise, unfortunately," I smile. "Can't be getting fat in between missions, can I?"
"Don't think there's much risk of that," the Chief grins back, removing the gloves on her hands and taking a slug of water from the bottle she's got sat on the floor next to us. "Missions have a way of keeping you fit, if you know what I mean. Plus, Shepard was telling me about your occasional hand to hand fighting on Feros. Getting up close and personal tends to be better than hanging back and shooting."
"Agreed," I nod. "My legs are still hurting from kicking a krogan."
Ash laughs at that. "Not bad, Ian. But Shepard also said you got taught by Garrus, and turian techniques have got nothing on what the Alliance teach you."
"I dunno, Ash," I reply, a little cockily. "Garrus was a hand to hand specialist in the turian military, I think he knows what he's talking about."
"Maybe, but teaching turian techniques to a human, something's got to be lost in the translation."
"What are you trying to say?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "You want proof?"
"There's a sparring ring right here," she grins confidently, eyes flashing mischievously. "So I guess you're right. Some proof would be nice."
"You're joking, right?" She continues grinning at me. Oh, fuck, she isn't bullshitting… "Isn't a bit dangerous? Having a fight, when we've got missions and stuff coming up?"
"Oh, relax, it's controlled," she scoffs. "I'm not going to punch you out, and I imagine you're going to show the same courtesy. Whoever can pin the other and force them to tap out wins. No cheap tactics, no moves that are going to put the other person out of commission. You can do that, right?"
I'm torn. On one hand, I'm a bit worried about getting injured, especially with everything I know is coming up…but on the other, I don't want to look like a coward by backing out. Besides, while I'm not the biggest person…I reckon I can still take her.
"Alright," I finally nod, clapping my hands together. "So, do we need to change, or something?"
"You should be fine in t-shirt and jeans," she says. "I'll stick with what I've got. No armour, no gloves, let's do this properly."
I take a quick look around the gym. The one crewman's heading out of the gym, looking like he's caught word of what's about to go down. Well, at least if she kicks my ass, there's no-one around to see it happen…
"This all seems rather sudden," I say, following her into the matted area set out for sparring, still barely able to believe I agreed to this. "So, no breaking limbs, try and pin you rather than just beating you up…"
Ash nods impatiently. "And just tap out if you can't keep up any more. You ready?" She's adopting a proper fighting pose opposite me…shit, she looks like she knows what she's doing! Ah! I immediately regret this decision! Still, too late to back out now without losing face…
"As much as I'll ever be," I say warily, crouching slightly to alter my centre of gravity and sizing Ash up. She doesn't look too physically strong…but I'll bet she's quick, and with her size she'll probably be looking to use my strength against me. My heart's pounding quick already, and the fight's not even started!
"Good." Her grin goes even wider, and she takes one small step back. "Then let's begin." And with that, she rushes forward, launching a balled fist at my face. I barely knock it to the side with my forearm, ducking under her following hook and frantically spinning away from the kick she launches at my side. Fuck, she's quick! I knew it!
"Not a bad reaction speed," she notes, circling around the ring, bobbing up and down on the balls of her feet. "But the power in your blocks needs work."
I lunge at her, going in with a straight she dodges with ease by tilting her head slightly. We both go to kick the other's legs, our shins banging together and sending pain shooting up my leg. Resisting the urge to grab the area in pain, I try to uppercut Ash in the abdominal, but she skips back and lands her side kick this time, knocking the wind out of my lungs. I gasp out, crumpling slightly…which is fortunate, because it saves me from the fist launched at where my head was milliseconds ago. I do a quick back roll out of the way, hanging to the edges of the ring as there's a sudden respite in the fight. Ash keeps on moving, eyes locked on my face, trying to read my expression.
"Defensive play isn't going to win you a fight, Ian," she mocks, trying to goad me. Well, girl, I ain't playing your game…she seems to be relying on the counter-attack quite a lot, trying to catch me off balance. Well, I'm not falling for…
There's a sudden noise from across the gym as the elevator hits the floor, and I glance over to look at. The glance quickly turns into a stare, as literally half the Normandy crew pours out of the elevator and scoots over to the ring, forming a circle around us. Jesus, the entire squad's here, Shepard, Garrus, Tali…out of nowhere, a punch to my jaw knocks me off my thoughts and sends me spiralling to the side, clutching at my face and barely keeping my balance. There's some shouts from the crowds, some encouraging Ash, some yelling 'cheap shot!' as Ash lands the punch, and I look up to the see the Gunnery Chief smiling at me. A sudden silence descends on the assembled crowd, as we both eye each other up. I'm breathing heavily from where I took the kick…Ash, on the other hand, seems to be having no trouble at all. Fuck the negativity, I can do this!
"You've got a jacked up sense of fair play, pal," I finally growl. "And it's beginning to piss me off." And with that, I take two quick steps forward, quickly jabbing her in the chest. I distinctly hear Garrus's flanging voice shouting something encouraging as I do, but I don't listen to the words, focusing on landing another quick punch on her cheek. The Chief takes two steps back, seemingly dazed, and I launch in for a throw. Big mistake. I manage to grab her, but the move's too slow, and the smile on her face when I do it show's I'm playing straight into her hands. Fuck, being dazed was just a ploy…
I don't have time to reflect on it, though, as she shoves my hands away and cracks me in the face with a right hook, sending starts flying around my eyes. Where she pretended to be dazed, I suddenly feel completely out of it. My eyesight seems to be jumping around a little bit, one second she's in front of me, the next right up in my face…a pair of surprisingly strong hands grab me around the waist from behind, and I feel myself being lifted up into the air. Even through the pain haze, one thought strikes through with clarity.
Oh fuck. I'm getting suplexed.
The next thing I feel is my back slamming onto the mat with incredible force, and hear a mixture of cheers and groans from the crowd as it happens. The blow actually helps knock me out of being stunned…but Ash is on me before I can react, grabbing my right arm and twisting it into an excruciating lock. Ah, fuck! I struggle wildly, but she's too good for that, positioning herself in the exact place I can't get to her. I struggle for a few seconds, before she twists the arm even more, making it feel like my shoulder's going to pop out of the socket. Aaaaaaaah, SHIT!
I reach out with my free arm and frantically tap the mat. There's no way I'm getting out of that lock…and if I didn't tap out, I honestly think she'd have broken my arm! Ash releases immediately, rolling off my back to applause from the members of the crowd who were supporting her, accompanied by the curses of some crew members. I bet they were placing bets on the winner, those bastards…I just lie there, trying to get as much oxygen as I can into my lungs, tentatively flexing my arm to make sure there's no permanent damage. I hear loud footsteps pounding along as people walk away, but this set is getting closer and closer to me…I look up, and see Urdnot Wrex standing over me, smiling at my misfortune.
"I take back what I said about not thinking you were weak," he grins, then just turns and walks off, not even bothering to help me up. "I'll see you later." Fucking Wrex! I roll onto my back, and gingerly climb to my feet. Ash dusts off her hands theatrically as I look over at her.
"That's all the evidence I needed," she says. I'd go over there to wring her neck for that cockiness…too bad she'd kick my ass if I even tried. "If you want lessons, find out how to fight properly, I'll be here or in the garage."
I just look at her, amazed by how casually she's making the offer. Knocks me all over the place, and then just offers me lessons…that said, I probably could do with some after that performance…
"Alright," I nod, which also helps click my neck back into place slightly after the suplex. "A bit of practice, and we'll see. You teach me, and soon the apprentice will become the master."
"Uh-huh," she laughs. "Go and get cleaned up, Ian. We're touching down at the Citadel any minute now."
"It was horrible talking to you Ash," I say sarcastically, as I head to the elevator. "Let's do it again some time."
"See ya, Ian," she grins as I walk into the elevator, and the door slides shut behind me. As soon as it does, I put my back against the wall, slide down it, and start looking at the new set of bruises I just picked up.
I hate that girl.
A/N: That concludes the Normandy interactions, but we've still got a shopping trip on the Citadel to take care of with myself, Garrus and Tali. Fun times there, plus we'll run into an old friend from C-Sec…and from there, onwards to Therum! There's still one squad member we gotta collect.
200 reviews, guys! (212 if you want to be precise.) That be EPIC. So, in the spirit of the chapter, cheers for that! (See what I did ther…yeah, not funny.)
If you want to fill in that poll…well, I leave it to you and your conscience. I mean, do you actually want to basically help play what's essentialy massive prank on m…I'm not helping my cause, am I?
Alright, until next time!