TO LACES: I'M SORRY!

TO MY FANS: I did not intend for this chapter to be so long...and perverted. I didn't intend for Livy to be so...forthright. and Tim to be so...Perverted. I'm sorry :'(

…When You Have The Talk…

"Why are you doing this?" Livy asked as she sat on his bed and crossed her legs Indian style.

Tim sighed. "Because your brother's an ass, Ali thinks we should spend more time together, Dick feels uncomfortable about it, Alfred just shook his head when I asked him to do it, and Bruce ran away."

"He ran away?"

"Well…"

"Hey, Bruce, I need you to do me a favor." Tim walked up to Bruce, who was standing at his computer; looking at important documents.

"Hmm." Bruce answered.

"Can you have the Talk with Livy-." Tim looked away for a second. "Because I don't think-Bruce?" Tim looked back up to see empty space where Bruce once stood. "A simple no would suffice!"

"Yeah, you could put it that way." Tim nodded. "Okay, what do you want to know about?"

Livy shrugged. "What do I need to know about?"

Tim looked uncomfortable. "Sex…"

Livy smirked inwardly. Tim was uncomfortable, she liked when he was this way, so she asked a stupid random question that would get Tim sweating like Kevin Federline at a Rap Battle.

"Do you think Bruce and Selina ever did it in the Batmobile?"

"What." It wasn't a question.

"Well, do you?"

Tim blushed and looked down; rubbing the back of his neck. "Um, Yeah. I've seen Bruce giving it to Selina on the hood. I was petrified for weeks and demanded to walk anywhere."

Livy's lip quivered as she tried to hide her laughter. "Wow."

"Yeah. Anything else?"

"When did you lose your virginity?"

"Livy. Really. What the hell."

"I want to know."

"I was 20."

"For real!"

"Yeah."

"Who did you do it with?"

"I don't have to tell you."

"Please?" Livy asked innocently.

"Okay, why don't we just…throw everything out there."

"What do you mean?"

"You can ask me any personal question you want, and I get to answer you one, too. One question per turn. How's that?"

"I'm good with that." Livy smiled deviantly.

"Rose."

"What?"

"I lost it to Rose Wilson-Ravager."

"I thought you did it with Steph."

"I did. A few times. But on the roof with Rose… those were memorable times."

Livy frowned, "Ew…"

"Shut up."

Livy looked at the floor, "Huh."

"Are you still a virgin?"

"What?"

"Yes or no."

Livy growled, "Yeah."

"Yes you are?"

"Yes! I am a virgin! I have never had intercourse!"

Tim smirked, "Oh?"

"Shut up. I'm 15."

"You have a valid point, I suppose."

"Damn right."

"Have you kissed a boy?"

"Hey, hey, hey. My turn."

"Fine, go." Tim rolled his eyes.

"Ok, have you ever gotten caught by Bruce in the bathroom?"

"Doing what?"

"Oh please. You know what I'm saying."

Tim winced, "Ew. That's a really gross thought, Livy."

"Have you?"

"No!"

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Liar!" Livy pointed at him as he blushed. "Did Bruce catch you!"

Tim sighed; giving in. "Yeah. He caught me."

Livy stared at him, "No."

"Yep, I was… looking at porn and uh… he walked in… at an uh… really, really bad time and… well Bruce saw me."

"Hmm. That's nice."

"Yeah, it was horrible." Tim shook his head.

"So, have you ever kissed a boy other than Damian?"

Livy looked up in thought, and then smiled. "Yeah."

"Who?"

"Nope, you already asked your question and I gave you an answer."

"That's not fair! I wanted you to give me a name."

"Nope, my turn." She smirked. "When you were younger, did you ever fell up a girl?"

"Do you think I have?"

"No."

"Wow, correct on the first try."

"I'm that good." Livy nodded. "When you were younger had you ever seen anyone naked?"

"Besides a movie?"

"Yeah, besides a movie; they don't count." She shook her head.

"Um… yeah."

"Was it porn? Because that doesn't count either."

"It wasn't porn…"

"Then where was it?"

"It was Babs."

"Say what!"

"Yeah. It was… kinda awkward."

"Oh, God! That's gross!"

Tim shrugged. "I didn't think so."

"Timothy!"

"I'm telling you the truth!"

"My turn!" Tim shouted. "Who did you kiss other than Damian!"

"Colin." Livy answered simply. "Duh. He wanted to see if he was gay or straight and we made out once and he didn't feel anything and that's how he knew he was Gay."

"Oh, that's pleasant."

"Ain't it?"

"My Turn." Livy smiled. "What do you prefer? Top or bottom?"

"Top, duh."

"I get to ask two because you're a jerk."

"Fine." Tim rolled his eyes.

"Do you like to be dominated or be the girl?"

"What?"

"Do you wear the pants, Tim?"

"Hell yes I wear the pants."

"Of course you do." Livy giggled.

"Fine, Hmm…" Tim looked up. "Has Damian ever touched you…down there?"

"Use your big boy words, Tim."

"Ugh, fine. Has Damian ever Fingered you!"

"You reworded your question."

"It doesn't matter! Just answer it."

"The answer's no. Damian doesn't have the balls to do anything. Not that I mind." Livy shook her head. "He hasn't ever touched me inappropriately."

Tim nodded. "Good."

"Pervert."

"I am not a pervert."

"Right, whatever. My turn, Fool." Livy crossed her arms. "How does sex work?"

Tim frowned; he really didn't want to do this but: "Didn't they teach you this in Themyscria?"

"Not really. They didn't see sex as a big thing, so they never explained it to me." Livy smiled. She knew what sex was thanks to Jason and Ali, but the way Tim squirmed made her smile.

Tim looked around his room for some loose materials. He picked up a pencil from a desk then went over to his open drawer and pulled out a broken Pez dispenser. Once he had his materials he walked back over to Livy and sat on his bed.

"Ok Livy, this is going to be very hard for me, because I grew up in a very closed family: Bruce. Alfred did this presentation for me when I was 12 and now I shall do it for you."

He held up the pencil, "Livy this is the…. Um… male part."

"Say it." Livy giggled.

"You are so doing this on purpose."

"No I'm not." She couldn't hold her giggles in.

"Livy-."

"Just say it!"

"Livy, this pencil right here represents a penis. A male organ in sexual activities."

Livy grinned, "Good job."

"I hate you."

"Keep going." She ushered.

Tim looked at the beaker and frowned, "Woo boy… this beaker represents a um… a," he cleared his throat, "vagina."

Livy laughed, "Oh, you're good."

"Bite me. Anyways, you take the pencil and uh… thrust it into the Pez Dispenser. Both parts receive pleasure and there is happiness all around."

"Is that all?"

"Yeah, Livs, that's all, lesson is over."

"You sure?"

"Yes! For the love of God! I am sure!" Tim snapped.

"Ok, fine."

"How do you do number 69?"

"What?"

"Sex position number 69. How is it done?"

Tim blinked. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because you said I could ask any question." She smirked.

Tim sighed. "Oral on both counts at the same time."

Livy thought then realized what he meant, "Oh ew… that's nasty."

"Dick's done it."

"Dick's done enough to write his own damn book."

Tim smirked, "True." He then frowned. "Hey, you asked two questions! Not fair! My turn!"

"Fine, go ahead." Livy waved her hand.

"Alright." Tim clasped his hands together. "If asked, would you have sex with Damian?"

"What is up with you and asking things about Damian?" Livy quirked a brow.

"Because I know that you two are close." Tim stated as he crossed his arms.

Livy sighed. "I guess."

"What?"

"I said, I guess I'd say yes if Damian asked. I don't know. I mean, I don't wanna lose my virginity yet. I'm only fifteen."

"Good girl." Tim smiled. "Okay, have you ever been curious?"

"You are such a perv." Livy frowned.

"No I'm not! I just wanna make sure you're not a…Carpet Muncher."

"That's a very offensive term, Mr. Drake. Wait until Batwoman hears about this." Livy shook her finger at him.

"Just answer the questions."

"Fine. I thought I was."

"You did?" Tim uncrossed his hands.

"I thought I was. But then I realized that I was just around women too much. I told Damian that in one of his letters that I thought I had a crush on Clio. But I didn't." She shrugged. "My turn now."

Tim smirked. "Go ahead."

Livy grinned, "Ok, why would a girl want to uh… lick the quote-unquote "lollipop" if that fluid comes out?"

"Ms. Todd, I'm going to need you to use terms I can understand."

"Go to hell, Tim." She smiled.

"Say it."

"Why do girls give guys oral sex?"

"Hey… you reworded your sentence. Not fair." Tim pointed.

"Is too. Why?"

"When girls have an attraction to a man they most certainly love, they are willing to do things and try many new things to try and please each other. As disgusting as it might be it's actually quite nice."

Livy winced, "Ok, now that is gross."

"You'll do it one day." Tim assured.

"No I won't."

"Yeah you will."

Livy smirked. "Yeah, maybe to Damian."

"Oh, that's gross."

"Hey, you said I'd do it one day."

"Well, whatever. Some men even do it for women."

"Pleasant." Livy nodded.

Tim looked up. "Why do girls get Brazilian waxes?"

"To make it less… messy." Livy made a hand motioned towards her vaginal area.

"You're lying."

"Some do it just to show off their… woman parts."

"Weird."

"Yeah."

Tim looked at her. ""Have you ever had a Brazilian wax?"

"No I have not."

"Do you want one?"

"No I do not."

"You sure?"

"Tim, it's like tweezing your eyebrows, but with wax paper and sensitive skin. So sensitive…" she shivered.

Tim nodded.

Livy looked at Tim "Did you kiss Selina?"

Tim stared at Livy, "Where'd you find that one out?"

"I didn't, I just wanted to see if you did."

"Oh, well, once." Tim shrugged.

"Have you ever had a romantic bubble bath?" Livy smiled.

"You're a freak." Tim chuckled.

"Have you?"

"No. That's weird."

"It's romantic." Livy denied.

"Maybe to you girls. But It's weird to me."

"Lamo!"

"You're lame!"

"Well I am. Moving on, have you ever used hand cuffs?" Livy asked once more.

"Yeah. When I'm working as a detective. I use them all the time."

"No, not as a detective, in… you know."

Tim smirked, "Oh. Oh yeah I have."

"Kinky?"

"Very, very kinky."

Livy laughed. "Nice. With who?"

"Rose."

What's an orgy?" She randomly asked.

Tim grinned, "What's an orgy?"

"Yes."

"It's when a bunch of people all get together and do sexual things. Anything you can think of that's what happens at orgies."

"Oh. That brings me to my next question: how do girls do it with other girls."

Tim held up his index and middle fingers to make peace signs, and then he locked his fingers together.

Tim winced, "Oh…"

"Or they use dildos; give each other oral, ya know?

"No, that's why asked. I wish I hadn't."

"You'd figure it out sooner or later."

"Great. How do guys do it?"

"Oral or anal."

"Huh?"

"I'm not going into that."

"Fine."

"Anything else?"

Livy looked up. "How you really make out with people?"

"Why do you want to know that? I thought you made out with Colin?"

"Well, yeah, but he was horrible at it. I mean, how do you really kiss someone?" Livy blinked.

Tim rolled his eyes. "What do you want? An Example?"

"On what?"

"Whatever?"

Livy sighed, "I guess…"

"What?"

"Yeah, I want an example." Livy looked up at him.

Tim sat up in his seat and looked at Livy, "Ok c'mere."

"Woah! What!"

"You want an example?"

"Yeah! But not on me!"

"Oh come on."

"You want to make out with me!"

"I don't want, too. I just want to give you an example."

Livy growled, "I am not going to do this!"

"Ok, how about we make a deal?"

"I'm not doing this! You're way older than me!"

"Livy, calm down. I'm only twenty-five."

Livy frowned and glared at Tim, "What kind of deal?"

Tim smirked, "Raise your right hand."

Livy grumbled and raised her right hand, "Ok, now what?"

"Repeat after me, I, Livy Todd."

"Oh for the love of-"

"Just do it."

"I, Livy Todd,"

"Solemnly swear that after Tim teaches me how to French kiss that we shall never speak of this moment, nor ever, ever bring it up. Not even in only the company of the other person involved in this."

Livy stared at him, "Uh… solemnly swear that after Livy teaches me how to French kiss that we shall… uh?"

Tim sighed, "Shall never speak of this moment, nor ever, ever bring it up. Not even in only the company of the other person involved in this."

Livy nodded, "Shall never speak of this moment, nor ever, ever bring it up. Not even in only the company of the other…?"

Tim sighed, "Person involved in this."

"Gotcha. Person involved in this."

Tim lowered his hand to his side, "Ok, good."

Livy lowered her hand, "Now what?"

Tim moved closer to Livy, "Ok?"

Livy bit her lip, "This is gonna be weird."

"Close your eyes."

Livy squeezed her eyes shut. Tim swallowed and paused before he moved in.

Livy opened one eye and rolled her eyes, "Oh you're a chicken."

Livy grabbed Tim's shoulder and jerked him down to her face. Livy closed his eyes and crushed her lips against Tim's.

Tim's eyes widened and he panicked. Livy squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out what she was doing to her partner, her mentor, her older brother.

Livy stumbled bit when she felt Tim's hands grip onto her upper back. Livy winced and squeezed her eyes so hard she felt like her eyelids were going to rip.

Tim smirked; he knew he was going to traumatize Livy forever. He thought then decided, if he had messed her up this much so far, why not go a little bar farther. Tim moved his tongue and stroked the top of Livy's lips. Livy's grasp on his shoulder was starting to hurt, she was really squeezing hard.

Tim laughed to himself and licked Livy's lips. He was shocked when Livy actually parted her lips and moved her tongue to caress Tim's lips. But Tim almost lost it when Livy darted her tongue into Tim's mouth and their tongues met.

Livy closed her eyes tighter and gently massaged Tim's shoulders. Tim pressed closer and their tongues were tangled, their bodies were close together, their lips were locked.

"Tim, are-OH MY GOD!" Ali slammed the door shut. Tim and Livy jumped back from each other and covered their mouths.

"Ali! What's wrong! What happened!" They heard Jason and Bruce shouted from behind the door.

"Ali? What's wrong? She's not moving, Bruce!" Jason shouted.

Tim opened the door. "W-what happened?"

Bruce put his hand up to Ali's forehead. "She's had a brain hemorrhage."

"What? How?" Jason asked.

"Because she doesn't have a heartbeat, she gets hemorrhages when she gets shocked to the point when you'd have a heart attack. So she gets hemorrhages." Bruce explained.

"What!" Livy answered as she appeared in the doorway next to Tim.

Both Bruce and Jason stared at the two in shock.

Finally Jason spoke up. "Where you two fucking?"