Chapter 11 - Giving Up Will Never Be an Option For Someone Worth Fighting For
Though his features didn't show any sign of emotion, Hibari was actually surprised to see Haru waiting at his doorstep. He was pretty much expecting that she probably hated him now after turning her in to the young Vongola boss and that she wouldn't want to see him ever again after betraying her trust, yet there she was sitting before his front door with her face buried on her folded arms. His instruction was very clear and simple - for her to never return to his place again – so then why? Why did she still come back?
"What are you doing here?" He asked coldly, sounding as if he was displeased of her presence when deep down inside, he actually felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his chest after not seeing her for what seemed liked forever.
"Hibari-kun?"
The skylark wasn't one to display emotion openly but the way she tenderly said his name and longingly looked at him with those teary brown eyes instantly made his heart feel tight, a sensation which was annoyingly strange to him. Then out of the blue, he remembered Dino telling him that whether he admitted it or not, he liked Haru.Was this really how it was supposed to feel like to have feelings for somebody? But he didn't sign up for any of this. He refused to involved himself in anything that would only drag him down and make him feel weak and vulnerable.
"Move. You're in the way." He casually walked past the browned haired woman and as soon as he stepped inside his house, he immediately shut the door behind him. Unfortunately, Haru was able to stick her foot inside before he could completely seal the tiny opening.
Irritated, he threatened to bite her to death if she didn't leave that instant yet she continued to press herself against the door, forcing her way in.
Hibari had turned his body into a barricade a very long time ago, burying his emotions deep down inside for no one to see. He wouldn't allow anyone to tear it down, not even Haru. He told himself he wouldn't let her in but she just was very persistent.
"I said I'm not going anywhere until you -"
And that's when Hibari finally lost it. Without warning, he abruptly grabbed the stubborn woman's fragile wrists and pinned her against the wall, pressing his warm body against hers, "Stay and you'll end up regretting that decision,"
Ever since they started living together, Hibari had been trying so hard to fight the urge to touch her, feel her close and keep her to himself. This selfish desire to possess her was exactly the reason why he could not allow her to stay with him any longer. But he was Hibari Kyoya. He could take and own anything that he wanted. In fact, he could just be selfish and make Haru his if he wanted to, but even if he could, he wouldn't.
"I won't leave. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me."
Hibari pulled harshly on Haru's blouse to show her that he was serious then he lowered his mouth on the curve of her throat, "Go now or I'll-"
"Why are you trying so hard to push me away, Hibari-kun?" The brown haired woman reached for the back of his head and gently buried his face on her shoulder. "There's nothing you can do to make me stay away. We've been all through this before and you know that...I'm not scared of you."
'Seriously, this foolish little herbivore...'
She never changed. No matter what he did to drive her away, she never budged. Just like a steel being hammered, she only got harder and tougher. Any attempt to break her resolution only made her more determined. He admired her bravery but also condemned her for it. She's just too brave for her own good.
"You're so unfair. After doing all those confusing stuff to me and messing with my mind, you'll just go and walk away like nothing happened. But I won't stop you or ask you stay. If you have to go then go but at least, please, take me with you."
Did she even know what she was saying? All she had to do was literally run back to Sawada Tsunayoshi's arms, to the place where she rightfully belonged, so then why? Why was her voice crying out to him, as if saying he was desperately needed by her.
"Hibari-kun, please, don't leave me alone."
Even if hearing Haru's brittle voice was killing him, the aloof cloud guardian had already convinced himself that he couldn't possibly do what she was asking for. That even if it pained him to see her like that, he had to resist her and suppress himself from conceding to her will. However, despite knowing what he should do, the two-letter word still wouldn't come out of his mouth. Deep down inside, he knew that he really wanted her to stay by his side. Being apart for the past three days was a proof it. Even if he was used to living alone and had always believed that he could carry on without ever needing anybody, he was proven wrong. He missed her, and there's no denying anymore that he needed her.
"You...you wouldn't let go until I say yes, would you?" Hibari leaned away to meet her gaze.
"Well, you know me. I won't give up until you give in. I am a stubborn woman after all." She grinned mischievously, earning herself a sigh from the skylark.
"Fine, do whatever you want, just don't get in my way." He uttered casually, as he turned his back and slowly walked away from her.
"Geez... Just admit it already. You couldn't bear leaving me alone, right?"
Hibari stopped in his tracks but didn't say anything, leaving the dimly lit room filled with awkward silence.
"J-just kidding!" Haru turned around to face the wall behind her as she suddenly felt the urge to bang her head against it. She mentally scolded herself for not thinking before speaking again. However, what really bothered her was not the words that slipped out of her mouth, but the unknown reason that made her feel oddly embarrassed because of it. It was not as if she's not used to teasing Hibari just like that before. Even Dino used to joke around the same way all the time. "Anyway, Haru won't be a nuisance so don't worry. In your eyes, I may just be a weak woman but I'm very useful, you know!"
(tip. tap)
"I can for cook you, do your laundry, iron your clothes, fix your bed, organize your stuff and even do your paperworks. Haru won't be a freeloader. "
(tip. tap)
"And just in case you don't know, that's what you call a personal assistant and not a maid. You hear me? Also, I'm pretty sure you're aware that Haru has learned self-defense and combat skills so I won't exactly be a burden in your missions. I can fight with you!"
(tip. tap)
"Basically, what I'm trying to say is that Haru will behave and do anything Hibari-kun wants so - "
.
.
.
(ba-thump!)
'Hahi? Wait- what is happening? '
(ba-thump!)
'What was I saying again? '
(ba-thump!)
The noisy stubborn woman was sure she was talking with the cold wall just a second ago. Next thing she knew, Hibari had spun her around, cupped her face gently and brought his lips to hers. Stunned, she stared into his moonlit face, eyes wide, and it made her wonder how he could hide the rapid beating of his heart beneath a calm expression. It was unfair. She knew so well how transparent she was as she could feel her cheeks burning under his touch.
Yielding to the soft strength of his kiss, Haru slowly shut her eyes and grasped his collar to pull him closer. She didn't like the way Hibari held her with such tenderness, as if he was holding a little bird that needed protection. She wanted him to embrace her tighter and kiss her without care of hurting or breaking her. However, just a second before she could even move her lips to deepen their kiss, she had a moment's hesitation, and just as the kiss started so fast, it ended so soon.
Hibari pulled away, his expression as cold as ever. "I'll pick you up at 7 am tomorrow. Make sure you've already packed your things by then. Don't be late or else I'll leave you."
"Yes." was all the blushing woman could say before she turned and walked out the skylark's door.
.
~x~
"I know this is so random but are you free tonight? Can you have dinner with me?"
"Sorry, but I... There's something I've got to do and it might take a long time so..."
"It's okay. I'll wait."
"Eh?"
"I'll wait no matter how long it takes for you, Tsu-kun."
~x~
"Are you really sure about this, Kyoko? Don't you think it's too sudden?" The pink haired woman asked worriedly.
"To tell you the truth, I'm really afraid, Bianchi-san. But somehow, I feel that if I don't do something now, Tsu-kun is going to keep distancing himself further and further away from me, and I don't want that."
"I understand but can I ask you one thing?"
Kyoko nodded.
"Why here of all places?"
"That's because four years ago, Tsu-kun invited me to have dinner with him here in this cruise ship. I could still remember it very well. That time when he called me, Tsu-kun was stuttering so it was actually difficult to make out his words…"
"I could imagine. Feeling so nervous, that timid boy probably pissed his pants."
Kyoko giggled a little. "But even so, it made me happy. Really happy. He also said he had something very important to tell me that night that's why I dressed my best. But as you know, the worst thing happened and - "
"It's okay, Kyoko. You don't need to talk about the painful memories."
"For the past couple of years, Bianchi-san, I've always been thinking about what could have happen if only both of us made it here that night. What was he going to say? Was he going to confess or was I just making myself believe that he was? I really wanted to know. I need to know or else I won't be able to move on…"
"Kyoko..." The pink haired woman looked at her painfully, unable to finds the right words to console her.
"Don't worry. That's exactly why I'm here right now, to put an end to this endless wondering."
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-At the Miura Residence-
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"Papa, can you still remember the last time Haru was here?
Tsuna and I asked your blessings for our marriage.
I also told you that the next time we visit, I promise to bring you good news about having your first grandchild but I'm sorry...
Haru came here alone today.
Haru's also not carrying your first grandchild.
Haru didn't even get married to Tsuna.
I know I promised you that I won't make you worry anymore but it seems I failed.
As much as Haru wants you to live peacefully in heaven, your reckless daughter keeps on making stupid mistakes and that makes you feel even more uneasy and concerned, right?
I'm really sorry..."
.
Haru lit three sticks of incense, offering them before her late father's shrine in their old house.
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"Papa, I know you really liked Tsuna for Haru but I must let him go. For his own sake. For Kyoko-chan's. And even for mine too. That's why you need not worry too much up there, ok? Haru is going to be fine…"
The petite young woman instinctively touched her lips with her trembling fingertips.
"I don't really understand why but somehow I feel that as long as Hibari-kun is with me, I can keep on living on."
.
.
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After paying respect to her late father, the brown haired woman went up to the second floor and entered her bedroom. Looking around, it made her remember the time when she was still 14 years old and they were transported 10 years onto the future. She sat down on the floor and placed her hand on the mini table where she recalled finding a letter from her parent.
.
'That time, I couldn't help but cry to myself because I found out that Tsuna and Kyoko were dating.
But at the same time, I also felt relieved, knowing that that wasn't the place where I return to but the home of 10 years ago.
I told my 14 year old self that I can't lose to her.
That I have to try harder so that the future would change…
In this lifetime, it may have turned out that I was the one dating Tsuna to the point that I was even so close to marrying him, however in the end, we still parted ways.
I guess no matter how hard you try to alter the future, there are still things that you can never change.'
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Haru slapped her cheeks on both sides, trying to cheer herself up.
.
'Idiot haru!
When you read that note, you should have given up already.
Why did you have to encourage yourself to do better?
I guess Gokudera has been right all this time.
You're really an idiot woman!"
.
The night breeze swirled through Haru's open window, billowing the white curtains. Deep in her thoughts, she didn't mind the cold air seeping into her bedroom when suddenly it dawned on her that she did not even touch the window in the first place.
The brown haired woman stood up to head for the sliding glass when all of a sudden, a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind.
"Who's there?"
"I got scared."
"Hahi?"
"I got really scared, thinking you've gone far away where I couldn't reach you, Haru."
"T-tsuna?"
"You suddenly disappeared without warning again."
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm the one who's supposed to be asking you that."
"You shouldn't be here. Kyoko-chan is waiting for you."
The brunette haired man answered by tightening his grip on her shoulder.
"What are you doing? We've already talked this through, Tsuna." She held onto his wrist to pull his arm away. "It's over for the two of us."
"No." He embraced her more firmly against him. "I won't let go of you easily, Haru."
The brown haired woman felt like her heart stopped for a moment. She couldn't say anything because as much as she hated to admit it, she really wished deep down in her heart to hear him say those words. 'It's selfish and stupid, isn't it? I want him to set me free yet I don't want him to let me go.'
"Do you remember the time when I finally accepted to join you for Haru's appreciation day three years ago?"
"Tsuna, don't go there."
"No, I want you to listen." He whispered eagerly in her ear. "That day, as I watched you eating your favorite strawberry cheesecake, for the first time I realized that you had a really warm and beautiful smile, Haru."
"Stop that."
"I never noticed it before, no, that's not right, I actually noticed but I just didn't want to admit it. I only have eyes for Kyoko-chan, I told myself. She was my sunshine but then she left even before I could even confess my feelings to her, and everything turned dark for me."
"Just what are you trying to say, Tsuna?"
"Your smile saved me, Haru."
Her chocolate brown eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly, all her will and strength to resist were gone.
"I almost succumb to evil, driven by the pain of being unable to protect the woman I cared about the most, but since you were there, I was able to keep my feet on the ground. I thought I had to be more vicious and ruthless as a mafia leader in order to ensure the safety and security of everyone but because of you, I was able to keep myself from turning into a man I never wanted to be."
Haru loosened her grip on Tsuna's wrist, letting her arm fall on her side. "Don't. Please say no more or else I'll… "
"Even if I chased you away and said hurtful things to you a lot of times, you've never given up on me, Haru. You still smiled for me and did your best to cheer me up, that's why on that special day, I decided to start moving forward by going with you to the cake shop. And there, I witnessed something I've never allowed myself to see before, your warm and beautiful smile.
'This is bad. At this rate, Haru's really going to…'
"I wanted to protect your smile, Haru. That time, I really didn't understand why but somehow, I felt that as long as I can see you smile, I can keep on living on."
The brown haired woman was almost about to give in and let herself be swept away by the young Vongola boss when suddenly, she felt a pang in her chest upon hearing his last sentence. A sudden realization came to her mind and it made her feel extremely conflicted inside. 'I can't think about it. I don't want to understand.'
.
Ring! Ring!
Ring! Ring!
Ring! Ring!
.
"You should answer it." The troubled woman forcefully pulled away, turning around to face him.
The spiky haired man pulled the buzzing phone out of his pocket and worriedly stared on its screen, hesitating to pick up the incoming call.
"It's Kyoko-chan, isn't it?"
Tsuna gripped his phone tighter.
"Answer it. She's waiting for you, right?"
Haru wasn't really expecting him to receive Kyoko's call in that situation but the next thing Tsuna did really blew her mind.
"What are you gonna do?" The brown haired woman mumbled to herself as she watched him walking slowly towards the open window. Then her eyes widened in shock when he unexpectedly threw the ringing phone outside with all his might, as if he's trying to hit a home run.
The surprised woman instantly got behind his back, unhappy with what he just did. "Why would you do that, Tsuna? Kyoko-chan is waiting for you. At that place. You know what that means, right? You should go to – "
(ba-thump!)
(ba-thump!)
(ba-thump!)
Haru didn't know exactly how it happened but when he captured her lips, it felt like the world stopped. Suddenly, everything else was muted and the only thing she could hear was the sound of her beating heart.
"J-ust what do you think are you doing?" She immediately pushed him away.
"You asked me before what would I do if Kyoko-chan confesses to me, right? That's my answer."
Rendered speechless, Haru just stood still, unsure how she should respond.
Tsuna drew near her then he grabbed her wrist tight, as if he'd never let go. "Now this time, I'll be the one to ask you a question…"
His auburn eyes looked at her with a very longing expression and with a serious tone, he spoke, "I can't give you a reason to stay with me, Haru. Only you could tell the answer to whether you should stay with me or not, that's why let me ask you,
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Are you still in love with me?"
A/N: I'm really sorry. Really really sorry! OrZ I know I said I'll be updating on the same month (last December 2013) but I failed. I'm a trash, I know. Life happened. Since it's been a year, I felt that I should just give up on this fanfic, (just look the mess I made in this chapter, like omg what? who are these people?) but looking back at the reviews, it made me want to complete this story no matter what (even if I'd be hated for the ending I'll write. lol)
Anyway, I'm sorry if I ended with a cliffhanger again. I already know what happens next (In fact, I've already decided the ending since last year damnit) but writing is just so difficult. Why oh why? It was short when I pictured the sequence of the scenes in my mind but when I wrote them became longer than expected. Though it's cut short as usual, I figured I'd upload it anyway or else this might end up sitting in my laptop again for another year. lol But don't worry, I'd do my best to upload the next chapter before the year ends. :)
Thanks for reading, my dear readers. You're all my inspiration and motivation. Happy holidays everyone!