So happy Grey's Day! I thought I'd update now. Anyway this chapter was one of the ones I was really excited about writing! If I get 12 reviews I'll update again sometime this weekend. Please R&R and I hope you enjoy.
p.s. this episode was amazing! Wouldn't you agree? April was actually hilarious! (:
It's the adrenaline rush. That feeling you get when your heart rate increases and the hunger, thirst and exhaustion fade away. This is why I got into medicine in the first place. I zip my jacket up, feeling the cold air burn my skin. Shock and horror begin to fill me at this sight. The destruction, I always thought the Ferry Boat incident was horrifying but this doesn't even compare. Buildings don't just collapse! The whole freakin building is in pieces! Feelings of warmth and safety immediately begin to take over at his touch. He wraps his strong arms around my shoulders.
"Are you cold?" he whispers in my ear. I smile at him.
"Of course but… Derek… have you ever seen anything…." I ramble, losing words. His eyes pierce into mine and immediately, I know his answer. No Derek has never seen anything like this in his life.
"I gotta go help." I say really wishing I could stay with him. He nods lightly and kisses me goodbye then makes his way over to all the head traumas trying to do his part too.
"M-miss, are you a doctor?" she says, her brown eyes wide in fear. Panic overtaking her features.
"Yeah, what's wrong?" I ask.
"It's my son! You have to come…. Search and rescue they can't get him out and there's no one small enough! And he can't die…. We can't let him die! He's stuck under a building! Buildings aren't supposed to collapse!" she expresses wildly. Touché. A million thoughts begin to fill my head in this instant. It's like my brains in over-drive.
"Ok, ok calm down. Your panicked and your freaking out which is understandable but you need to calm down and tell me what's happening so I can help your son." I say. She takes a deep breath and her eyes meet mine.
"My son is stuck inside the building and he's hurt. There's debris on top of him and completely blocking him in. He needs a doctor and search and rescue can't get to him anytime soon. We need a doctor small enough to fit through the little opening." She says with tears starting to pour down her face. Ok I can do this.
"Ok, show me where your son is trapped and I'll help" I say quietly. She pulls me into a hug and leads me towards the building. Derek immediately locks his eyes with mine and begins to follow us. Oh great, he's going to be pissed at the thought of me crawling into a collapse building. The search and rescue guy extends out his hand and shows me the opening. I nod the lump in my throat increasing every second.
"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean the building could collapse completely and you could be stuck in here for 8+ hours." He questions.
"Yeah, this kid needs a doctor and I'm small enough to fit through the opening." I try to say confidently. He looks at me with both understanding and fear.
"You know this is really risky?" he restates firmly I nod at and he hands me a kit with supplies. I begin to make my way over to the small opening when Derek instantly runs over and defensively grabs me.
"Mer! Are you insane you are not going in that building!" he says, anger and anxiety filling his voice.
"What do you want me to do Derek let this kid die! It's not going to happen!" I say more angrily than I want to. I put my head down avoiding his eyes at all costs. Immediately, I tear out of his grip.
"MEREDITH!" he says more with more anger in his voice than I've ever heard since I've known him. I make my way through the tiny opening crawling like a baby. The sharp rocks scratching me one the way in. Ouch! A rock scratches my head and I immediately feel hot red blood dripping down the side of my face as well as my wrist. I continue to push my way through the rocky hell hole until I finally come to the small opening. Instantly my stomach begins to wrench at the sight and the sound.
"OUCH! PLEASE HELP ME!" he says crying out in agony. As quickly as possible I make my way over to him. His big brown eyes are filled with terror much like his mothers.
"It's ok, I'm a doctor I'm here to help you. My name is Meredith. Now what's your name?" I say lightly trying to soothe him.
"Jeremy… am I going to die" he says, tears now starting to form in his eyes.
"I'm going to do my best to make sure you don't" I say gathering some confidents. I begin to examine him damn, his injuries are bad. He managed to get the rocks that were on top of his legs off but there both broken, his head has big gash and needs to be stitched before he bleeds to death, is pelvic bone is swollen which means it's either broken or fractured and he's getting hypothermic as we speak. Ok, breathe Meredith BREATHE you got this start an IV, stitch up the head wound, get the legs in splints and wrap his pelvis.
"Ok Jeremy I need to put in an IV so I need you to keep your arm still." I say calmly. He nods and I pull out the IV with both morphine and fluids. "Ok, little pinch" he flinches slightly but doesn't cry out in pain. I move on to his leg and quickly splint it because the break is clean. Damn it! He's not so lucky with the other one. I have to reset it. Guilt begins to fill me; this is really going to hurt no matter how much morphine he's on.
"Ok, Jeremy I have to reset your leg so that I can get it stabilized and splinted ok?" I say shakily.
"It's really going to hurt isn't it?" he questions lightly with dread on his face. I nod lightly and his eyes begin to fill with tears.
"On 3 ok? 1-2-3."
"AHH! OUCH! OH DAMN IT!" he cries out in agony. Crap! How am I supposed to tell this kid I have to it one more time?
"It's ok Jeremy its ok" I say soothingly. "I just have to stabilize the other break and then I'm done with the legs ok?" he looks at me with panic in his eyes
"NO! Please not again." He begs "I-I c-c-can't." he says defeated. I grab his hand and lean in closer to him. He can't give up already.
"Listen Jeremy, I know this is scary and I know this really really hurts but, you can't give up! You have to fight ok? Your mother's out there waiting for you and it's only one more time I promise ok then all that's left to do is stitch up your head wound and yeah that'll hurt but it will be nothing compared to the bow the leg was ok." I say desperately hoping he agrees. He nods curtly and lets out a small choking whimper.
"Ok 1-2-3." snap. I can hear the bone crunch back into place and involuntary shudders run through me at the thought of his pain. He lets out another cry of agony then lets out a slight sigh.
"We're done…. That's it with the legs?" he says with hint of relief in his voice.
"Yeah we're done with the leg." I say confirming his statement. Quickly I numb his head wound and I stitch it up. I pull out blanket and I put it over his shaking body. God, they need to get this kid out soon.
"Ok search and rescue should be here any minute." I say turning to leave, turning to face the small opening which is now gradually expanding. Immediately he grabs my hand.
"Meredith please stay here with me!" he pleads desperately with fear in his eyes.
"Shhh, Jeremy I'm not going anywhere I promise." I say soothingly he gradually starts to calm down and his breathing starts to even out again. "So Jeremy, how are old are you?" I say trying to distract him from the pain by making conversation.
"I'm sixteen and a junior in high school." He says
"I never liked high school." I reply
"I do, I'm quarterback of the football team." He says "School's fun for me with all the girls and the great friends and the parties." So he's that kid. The future prom king, the guy all the girls have crushes on and the kid who just seems to walk on water. Those kids always annoyed the hell out of me in high school but, he seems… different. He's more than just the asshole who steals kids' lunches and can do whatever he wants.
"I was that girl with the angry pink hair who wore a lot of black clothes and thought I was just too cool to do stupid activities." I say. He chuckles slightly at this.
"But now you're a doctor." He says smirking
"Exactly, now I'm a doctor, so is it just you and your mother then?" I question.
"Yeah my dad, he took off when I was kid. I think he's still here in Baltimore but I have not heard from him a since I was like 7." He whispers.
"Yeah my dad took off when I was kid too." I say. Wow, this usually isn't a topic I discuss but, I like this kid.
"It sucks." He says. I nod agreeing with his statement completely. Soon his breathing starts to lighten and sleep overtakes him. My childhood really did suck. Maybe Thatcher's the reason it took me so long to finally marry Derek. My messed up daddy issues and abandonment issues have always affected my relationships. Cold shivers begin to wrack my body and my head begins to throb. The pain is finally catching up with me now that the adrenaline is gone. It's funny how the pain and the cold just went away when I was working on Jeremy. Although I'd never admit it to any of the Psych residents the human mind fascinates me.
/
The fresh cold air hits my lungs like a ton of bricks. Instantly Derek runs over to me and hugs me pulls me into him. He cups my face into his hands and stares at me with anger and fear in his eyes.
"Meredith, do you have any idea how stupid that was! You could have gotten yourself killed! Why the hell would you do this to me? Do you have some kind of death wish!" he yells angrily. I open my mouth to respond but the shock robs my ability to do so. Nothing comes out but a little noise. It feels like I'm frozen, like the whole world is moving at a million miles an hour and there's nothing I can do to stop it. With that he pulls me into him tighter and kisses my hair, then my neck, and finally my lips.
"Mer… I'm sorry I didn't mean that. You just scared the hell out of me." He whispers, his voice breaking slightly at the end. I burry my face into his chest and we stay here not moving not just taking each other in.
/
And odd sense of déjà vu strikes me as Derek stands here in the shower washing all the debris and dirt off my hair and skin. It's the post bomb in the OR thing all over again. My body aches all over. Thankfully my head wound and my wrist didn't even need stitches. I'm just pretty bruised up. Gently he rubs away all the blood and dirt it spirals as it goes down the drain. A pang of guilt hits me. Why do I always feel the need to do this Derek? I mean this was necessary, Jeremy needed me to help him but, drowning in the Elliot Bay I was being selfish. The shampoo feels soothing on my head and his hands gently lathering it on my hair seem to make the world melt away.
The warm bed is more inviting than it's ever been in my entire life. He pulls me into him and I rest my head against his chest. Listening to the sound of his heart beat puts me at ease.
"Der…. I'm sorry I stopped swimming." I say lightly, tears starting to prick at the corners of my eyes. He kisses the top of my head instinctually he always knows when I need that.
"Meredith, it's behind us now. We're married and you lived." He says lightly caressing my arm.
"But still, I gave up and I'm sorry it was a selfish thing to do." I say ashamed.
"It's ok, I'm sorry I yelled at you but Meredith, when you were dead…." He starts to choke up slightly now "….those two hours and eight minutes were the scariest moments of my life." He says quietly. I lean in and kiss his shoulder.
"I promise Der, I'll never do it again." I say sure of myself. I will never do this to him again. The risk taking, I could always do it when I was young because I never had anyone to worry about but myself. I never had a lover or husband, hell even a boyfriend to leave behind. My whole life it's just been me on my own taking risks not really caring about the consequences of my actions. But now, I have Derek, now I have someone whose world would be torn apart if I wasn't in it. Sure Cristina, Izzie, Alex, and George would be sad but, they would get over it. Derek however never would and if I ever lost Derek I honestly wouldn't see any reason to keep living.
THTTattttt