Chapter 10: Laura's Secret

Exactly one week from today I had taken the fall. Laura hasn't come back since the last time she was here. Everyone else ignored my presence. Did all horses feel this alone or is this just me? I hate this, all I can do is stand in the paddock all day eating hay. Wally would throw me some carrots every now and then but I refused to eat anything he touched.

My dad and brother went out to get the hay and my mom left about an hour ago to get groceries. School would have been let out about twenty minutes ago. I was completely alone. I was ready for my dad to put me into the pasture with other horses. I know they wouldn't be very interesting but at least I wouldn't be the only breathing animal in the fences.

I pricked my ears towards the driveway. A truck drove in and parked. I looked at the truck and Laura stepped out. Although I was still extremely angry at her, I was still excited that I would finally be able to get out of this pen. I still will not let her ride me, that ship has sailed. She had her chance.

She jogged to the gate. When I saw the tears streamed down her face my anger faded.

"Come on Kayak," she hurried the halter on me. "I need to get out of here, now."

She quickly led me to the barn and threw a western saddle on me without the grooming. I was too confused to care. I was trying to figure out what was going on. She had me saddled and bridled in no time and she immediately jumped on.

"We have to get away from here before Howie shows up. I don't want him looking for me." She truly was crazy to be taking a brand new horse on a trail ride this early. Especially when she beat the crap out of me last time. Today she acted much softer, only she was being hasty.

I don't know why I didn't throw her off but I only remember myself throwing myself into a gallop for her. We were on the trails and headed away from home. Who is looking for her? She acts scared to death and I know she likes my father, so why is she trying to hide?

She wasn't steering me, she obviously didn't care where we went, only just to get away from the ranch. A plan popped into my head. Maybe if I took her to the cliff there will be something there that will give Wally away. There has to be multiple hoof prints or something that will show I was followed. Some how I will show her who I really am. I don't care if I don't like her, she's the only one who I could bring out here.

I veered off onto my hand made trail. Realization hit her when we went of the path. She tried turning me back, she tried stopping me, nothing was going to stop me.

"Kayak?" She was scared now. It was like it had taken her up till now to realize she was riding a very young untrained horse. "Slow. Slow, please!"

Uh, fine.

I settled down to a canter. I wouldn't go any slower. I wanted to get there. When we neared the cliff area I slowed down to a walk. I could feel Laura sighing of relief. I exited the forest line and stopped completely.

"Kayak?" She tried moving me but I wouldn't budge. She dismounted and looked into my eyes. "What are you doing?"

I shook away from her and sniffed the ground. There had to be tracks, dry blood at the bottom of the cliff, anything! I found nothing.

"You won't run off on me and leave me stranded here if I take the saddle of will you?"

Uh, no please just get this thing off.

It wasn't the saddle that bothered me but the girth made it feel like I was wearing an extremely tight belt. She unsaddled me and dropped it to the ground. She unbridled me too. Now she was just getting crazy. She walked away and sat leaning against a tree.

"You can leave if you want. Now that I think of it, I can't go home."

What? Why not? What's going on?

I walked up to her and stood staring at her about three feet away. This made her laugh.

"That's the good thing about horses, they are always willing to listen." She stared at her hands. "Can you keep a secret?"

No, I'm going to go fricken tell the dog and he's going to tell the parrot who eventually speaks it to a human.

"Guess so huh." She chuckeled. Her frown returned and she looked back at her hands. "My dad found us."

What?

I didn't know her dad was still alive. I really didn't hear too much about him. All I knew was this fact of him finding her scared her.

"My mom had me when she was very young and they defiantly weren't ready for me. She told me he was a completely different person before I was born. He started to get into drugs and alcohol. My mom can't remember a day when he wouldn't come home drunk after work. He eventually became violent. It took her months to finally realize she couldn't handle it anymore. She took me and ran out of there before he or anyone else could find out any information. Yesterday he called home. Gosh my mom is so fricken stupid!"

It hurt. I watched her sob in her hands. I felt so helpless, I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Only I couldn't.

"He persuaded her that he'd changed and she gave him our address. She fricken gave him our damn address. He is probably pulling into our driveway right now giving some stupid sob story of how he's changed. Bull crap. He didn't change, he never wanted me so why would he want to be a father now."

I stepped closer to her. I stretched my neck so my muzzle was near her face. She rubbed it with her soft hands. She was laughing again, through her tears.

"You really are a stupid horse."

Um, what?

"Your what three years old? I was hoping you'd throw me off and send me to the hospital. A friend of my mom's was sending letters to us from him. She kept our information a secret until yesterday. I knew by the sound of my mom's friend that she was about to crack. I figured I'd either be better off staying in a hospital with security or at least with the fall, I could use that excuse for the bruises."

Bruises! What bruises?!

I tugged at her sleeve with my teeth. If her mother was hurting her I would personally be showing up at her house tonight to deliver pain. She laughed at me and tugged her sleeve down.

"What's up with you? I like this shirt, don't ruin it." She stared at the horizon. "Gosh it is beautiful up here. You think if I jumped off that cliff I would solve my parents problems?"

No! I won't let you, are you crazy!?

She was seriously considering jumping, ending her life forever.

"It would work several ways. They would be happy, you would be free to roam these lands, and I could see Kevin again."

Did I just hear that right? She wanted to see me? She hates me, doesn't she? I hate her too. No, that's not true. I can't deny it anymore, I truly like her. No, it was more than that. Every time I saw her in pain I wanted to hold her, embrace her so tight I would guard her from anything. I wanted to hold her, kiss her. I didn't just like her, I loved her.

"I just can't believe he's gone. It's all because of me." The tears were back. "I know he didn't mean to hurt my horse, and yet I hated him for it anyway."

No Laura its not your fault! Don't even think that.

"I just..." She tried to wipe some of the tears away. "I just wish I wouldn't have nagged him so much. He didn't deserve it. Now he's gone because of me, he killed himself because of me."

Stop, it wasn't your fault!

She had to know, she was going to hurt herself if she didn't. How could I tell her I was still here?

"I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone anymore. I hate to say it but Kevin may have been a jerk at times, but he still talked to me."

I nuzzled her arm with my muzzle.

"Yes I do have you. I don't know what I would do you without you."

I laid my huge body down next to her. The sun began to go down and it didn't look like she was willing to go home yet. She laid her head on my neck. I laid flat on my back so I made the perfect pillow for her. I felt her body relax completely within minutes and she eventually fell asleep.

I watched her as she slept. It was nice to see her relaxed and calm. She had a sweatshirt and jeans on and I hoped that was warm enough for her. My high body temperature kept her head warm but that would only do so much.

"Kevin..." she moaned. The word was highly muffled and hard to understand but I heard it clear enough to understand what she had said. "I love you."