Torn

By Neurotica

Eleven

Remus walked through the dark night into the cemetery, his feet leaving deep holes in the snow as he went. With every breath he took, white puffs escaped his mouth, but he ignored the cold and continued on. His eyes were wide open, searching the snow-covered ground for any other living being. A few times he thought he heard the crunching of the snow between his own steps and every time, he spun around, trying to find what had made the noise. He knew his destination well; the number of times he'd been there were numerable, but he'd never visited at night and he had to admit, the cemetery was much creepier at this late hour than he would ever admit to anyone. He pulled his cloak tighter around his body and got a firmer hold of his wand as though he expected to be ambushed. His actual thoughts weren't far from this; he had no idea what to expect when he finally found Sirius. Would the other wizard attempt to curse him first?

Trying to push every thought from his mind, Remus continued to climb the hill. He passed the gravestones that were buried in snowdrifts hardly giving them another look. He turned a slight bend in the path and spotted where he was headed. Their gravestone seemed to shine in the moonlight, drawing him closer to it like a moth to bug zapper. He reached the very top of the hill and felt as though the heavy, cold wind had knocked all the breath out of him as his eyes rested on Lily and James' names on the marble. It took him several minutes to tear his eyes from the words he'd read so many times so he could turn around and keep lookout for Sirius. He still wasn't quite sure why the other wizard wanted to meet here of all places. Even James and Lily's cottage in the village would be a little cozier than this—there, at least, they could get out of the cold, even if it was much more depressing than a cemetery.

He waited for twenty minutes. Every shadow he saw made him more jumpy than he could ever remember being. Every whistle the wind made through the trees had him pointing his wand in that direction preparing to shout out a defensive spell. An hour into his wait, as the tips of his fingers were getting numb and he had to rub his hands together so he could hold his wand steady, he finally spotted a shadow that, no matter how many times he blinked to moisten his dry eyes, didn't disappear. He watched the shadow, which grew to be a black spot moving towards him. The first time he was able to make sense of the spot was when the moonlight hit it: it was a large, shaggy animal and it didn't take but a split second for Remus to recognize the animal for what it was. For a brief moment, his mind connected the irony between the dog that looked so much like a Grim to be skulking around a cemetery.

Remus tensed as the dog continued to approach him. Its gray eyes were locked with Remus' blue ones, and they seemed to shine in the dark. As a cloud blocked the moonlight temporarily from the dark cemetery, those eyes were the only things Remus could see — it was almost like they were floating without a body. Sirius began to move slowly up the hill as though waiting for Remus to curse him. Remus kept a good hold on his wand, but made no move to point it at the Animagus. The dog reached the top of the hill and looked past Remus for a few moments as he very slowly sat in the snow. Remus knew he was looking at the gravestone just behind him.

"Hello, Padfoot," Remus said evenly after a few moments. "Are you going to stay like that the whole time?"

Sirius seemed to raise an eyebrow, but after a few seconds, he backed up and began to transform. Remus was momentarily shocked at how much different the other wizard looked now than when he'd been in Azkaban. His hair was cut to shoulder-length and no longer matted. He wasn't as dirty as he seemed to be in the photos the Daily Prophet featured on a daily basis. And perhaps the largest improvement to Sirius' appearance was how he seemed to have filled out a little more and no longer had the sickly, thin frame he'd had in Azkaban.

No wonder the Ministry is having trouble catching him, Remus thought wryly.

"Hello, Remus," Sirius finally said in a very hoarse voice. "Thank you for coming..."

"Yeah," Remus said, unwilling to meet the other wizard's eyes. "Why did you want me to meet you here?"

Sirius sighed. "Well, I assume you got the photo I sent you," he said. Remus nodded once. "Have you recognized anyone in it yet?"

"I may have," Remus said coolly. "Are you trying to convince me that you didn't alter that photo in any way?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "How would I do that? I haven't got a wand. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to do it that well. I really don't think you believe that anyway."

"So now you know what I think?" Remus asked with his own raised eyebrow. "Your message said you were going to explain the photo... Explain."

Sirius sighed, looking at James and Lily's gravestone again. "Look, I know everyone thinks I was responsible for what happened to Lily and James. I told you in the first letter I sent that what happened in London between Wormtail and myself wasn't as it seemed."

"Yes, and I still don't understand that," Remus said, listening closely.

"I wasn't Secret-Keeper," Sirius said plainly with just a slight edge to his voice. "Wormtail was. And he was the one to hand the Secret over to Voldemort."

Remus raised an eyebrow, carefully to keep his face as impassive as he could. "And I'm supposed to believe this? Peter hid under his bed at the very mention of Voldemort; how am I supposed to believe he actually sought him out—"

"Who says Peter sought Voldemort out?" Sirius interrupted, beginning to sound impatient. "We both know there was a spy in the Order, someone very close to the Potters. There were only three suspects—you, me, and Wormtail. And if it wasn't me and it wasn't you, then that only leaves one person."

"He's dead," Remus said automatically, noticing there wasn't much conviction behind the words anymore. Was he actually starting to believe his old friend was alive? "Even if he wasn't, how would you explain what happened in London?"

"Easy," Sirius said. "I found out what happened to Lily and James and went after Wormtail. I cornered him in London, and he blew up the street, cut off a finger, transformed, and dove into the sewers." Sirius sighed when Remus didn't reply for some time. "The official story is that he cornered me, right? How would that be possible considering I was closest to the street, closest to those Muggles?"

The other wizard nodded slowly. "Okay... So let's say for a moment that I believe you. Where is Peter now?"

"Couldn't tell you," Sirius said shortly.

"Why not?"

"Because he's disappeared again." Remus didn't think the annoyance Sirius was now exhibiting wasn't exclusively directed towards him.

"And I'm supposed to believe this?" Remus asked, getting a little frustrated. He was starting to feel like a broken record, having now asked Sirius what he was supposed to believe about three times. "You're trying to convince me of your innocence, but all you have is a story—"

"And a photo," Sirius pointed out. "Don't forget the photo."

"Either way," Remus said loudly, his voice echoing oddly in the cemetery. "For all I know, you could be lying to me, like you were before Lily and James were killed."

Sirius' eyes darkened a little and Remus didn't think it had anything to do with the cloud that shifted in front of the moon. "Remus," he said in a low voice, taking a slight step forward. Remus took an obvious step back, wanting to stay far out of the other's reach. Sirius noticed and rolled his eyes before he asked the question Remus and Emmeline had posed to Dumbledore a few weeks before. "Why would I send you a letter, risking my capture, asking you to check my wand, and then go steal it before you had the chance?"

Remus had no answer for that. Neither he nor Emmeline could make sense of the stolen wand or its thief.

"Besides," Sirius continued, frustrated, "you really think I could get through the Ministry unnoticed? If I walk in the way I am, Aurors are going to swarm down on me faster than you can say bludger. And even if I went in my Animagus form, don't you think they'd be a wee bit suspicious seeing a huge black dog wandering the Ministry unescorted?"

Remus stared at Sirius, uncertain how to reply to that. He supposed he could accuse Sirius of using Dark Magic to get in, but even that was a weak theory: the Ministry had ways to detect concealment by Dark Magic, even if it'd been used before a wizard came into the building.

When Remus didn't reply after about two minutes, Sirius sighed heavily. "Do you have the time?" he asked suddenly, looking like Remus felt—wondering whether it had been a good idea for the two wizards to meet at all.

"Why, somewhere you have to be?" Remus asked coolly.

"What do you care?" Sirius snapped.

Rolling his eyes, Remus glanced at his watch. "Half past one," he said dully. "Do you have anything else to say?"

"Why? You don't believe me as it is," Sirius said bitterly. "Why should I waste my breath trying to convince you of anything?" He turned around and began walking down the hill towards the gates. Remus didn't go after him, nor did he call him back; rather, he stood there for several minutes until Sirius had transformed into his Animagus form and disappeared just outside the dark cemetery.

Sighing, knowing that hadn't been the meeting he'd been expecting, Remus made his own way down the hill, looking forward to getting back to the flat so his fingers and face could warm up.

When he walked through the door, Remus found Emmeline on the sofa in what he now considered her waiting position: she was curled up on the sofa in her pajamas, a book on her lap. He wondered if she'd read more than half a dozen pages since he'd left. She spotted him the moment he closed the door, slammed the book shut, and tossed it aside, looking him over to make certain he wasn't injured.

"Well?" she asked both reluctantly and eagerly. "How'd it go?"

Remus sighed as he sat in the armchair beside her. "He showed up," he said dully, rubbing his hands along his arms to warm them. "And our meeting ended with us arguing and him stalking off back to wherever he's hiding."

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least we know your relationship with him hasn't changed since before Lily and James were killed." He gave her a look. She shrugged, not looking the least bit apologetic. "I thought you were going to be civil when you saw him. What happened to that?"

"Emmeline, if you'd been there and saw him and heard the things he was saying... You would have argued with him as well."

Rolling her eyes, she changed the subject. "And what was he saying?"

"He's pinned it all on Peter," Remus replied dully. "Peter was the spy. Peter was the Secret-Keeper. Peter sold out Lily and James to Voldemort. Peter killed the Muggles. And Peter is alive."

Her eyes widened. "He said that?" she asked in a low voice. "That Peter's alive?"

Remus nodded, staring across the room at the bare wall. "But it's impossible," he finally said. "When the street blew up, Peter disappeared. How could he have possibly survived that?"

"He transformed and dove into the sewers," his mind replied in Sirius' voice.

"Well," Emmeline said, thinking. "Maybe the same way Sirius did."

He didn't reply for long moments, nor did he show any outward signs that he'd heard what she said. He wasn't yet ready to explore the theory that Peter had, indeed, done all the things Sirius had said, including having lived through that explosion in London. He thought of the photo Sirius had sent him the day before and how he'd instantly recognized the rat on that boy's shoulder, even though he hadn't told Emmeline who it had been—he'd felt that if he admitted it out loud, it was confirming without a doubt that it had been his old friend, the one he'd believed to be dead. And then Petunia's words once again forced themselves forward. "Harry's godfather wasn't the one to keep the secret." Sirius had been right: it only took a bit of deduction to find the only person who could have been responsible for everything that happened.

"It was Peter," he said hoarsely, unaware that he'd spoken. "It was him all along." He slowly turned towards Emmeline who was watching him patiently. "Everything that happened... It was him."

She hesitated before speaking. "How can you be certain?" she asked quietly.

Silently, he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out the photograph, handing it to her. "The rat on the boy's shoulder," he said much more calmly that he presently felt. "It's Peter in his Animagus form."

She only seemed mildly surprised at his proclamation. "How can you tell?" she asked, looking at the photo.

"The right paw, for one," he said, closing his eyes and seeing the photo that he'd already memorized clearly in his mind. "It's missing a toe—only Peter's finger was found after Sirius' arrest. And I noticed every time he climbs on the boy's shoulder, he's got a bald patch on his stomach. It's from a spell Sirius accidentally him with—he was never able to grow chest hair." Emmeline's lips were twitching. "Not a single one and we teased him for it when he transformed into his Animagus form that even as a rat he couldn't grow chest hair." He hesitated, unsure if he wanted to mention the next hint. He hadn't tested this one himself yet..."Do you know the charm to turn black and white photos to color?"

She nodded, looking up at him. "Yes, of course," she said a bit suspiciously.

"Do it on the photo," he said, "and then tell me what color the rat's eyes are."

Looking at him like she thought he'd lost his mind, Emmeline reached for her wand, glanced at him briefly—he was now staring in another direction—and tapped the photo with the tip, murmuring a charm under her breath. Remus waited patiently for a reply—he knew for fact that in one's Animagus form, certain features remained, such as the color of one's eyes. He could almost see a brown rat with beady blue eyes right in front of him. After long moments, she gasped, nearly dropping the photo, and finally spoke, "Red!" seemed to be all she could say. Remus raised an eyebrow and turned to her. She paled almost instantly.

"Red what?" was the only thing that fell out of his mouth at the sound of her near panic.

"Red hair," she said, mostly to herself. She continued studying the photo. "Remus, this is one of the Weasleys' kids, I'm certain of it. I've seen him around the Ministry with Arthur a few times."

Remus' head fell to the back of his chair. Of course he knew who the Weasleys were—who didn't? He'd never spoken more than a few words with Arthur or Molly Weasley, only at Gideon and Fabian Prewetts' funeral when he'd given them his condolences. His next question was how Sirius had gotten his hands on a picture of one of their children.

Or, his mind added unhelpfully, why Peter's on this kid's shoulder... The more Remus thought about it though, that pose with Peter and the boy didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary for either of them. The boy seemed perfectly accustomed and even happy at having a rat on his shoulder.

"So what now?" Emmeline asked some time later after Remus had finally confirmed that the rat in the picture indeed had Peter's blue eyes. "Should we tell Dumbledore?"

Remus sighed. His instinct was to say no, that he couldn't tell the headmaster about Peter because of the Marauders being illegal Animagi. His next thought was if Peter was alive, and he had been both spy and Secret-Keeper for Lily and James, it would mean Sirius was innocent and he'd been wrongfully imprisoned for five years. And if that was the case, Sirius had had every right to escape from Azkaban—he hadn't belonged there in the first place.

"I don't know," he finally said to Emmeline. "Even if we do tell Dumbledore, it's not going to change much. The Ministry isn't going to declare Sirius innocent because of a photo of a rat and his own word. And if they find out that Sirius is an Animagus, he's going back to Azkaban anyway."

"Yes, but just because we tell Dumbledore, it doesn't mean we have to tell the Ministry," she replied. "Besides, if Dumbledore knows, he can help find Peter and keep Sirius hidden."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Somehow I don't think Sirius needs any help in keeping himself hidden..."

Nearly a week had gone by since Christmas, and Ron Weasley was reluctantly following his mother, brothers, and sister through Diagon Alley. Their mother needed to pick up a few things and even though the boys had insisted they were old enough to stay home alone, she'd dragged them with her. Ron blamed the twins for that. Just as they were about to enter the first shop on their list, Ron glanced over and saw a playground. It had only been there a short time, that summer to be exact, and Ron hadn't been to play there yet. Unlike the rest of Diagon Alley, there was no snow or slush on the ground or play equipment, and there were children there too.

"Mum?" Ron called, hoping she could hear him over Percy bragging about something. "Mum, can I go play on the playground?"

She stopped and turned, looking from Ron's hopeful face to the playground across the alley, debating with herself. Ron quickly put on his puppy dog face, hoping to win his mother over that way. Finally, she nodded. "I suppose. But your brothers and Ginny have to go with you!" she called to Ron.

As soon as she'd given him her permission, Ron had darted across the cobblestone walkway, hardly hearing what she said. The moment he set foot on the sand that covered the playground area, a heating charm kicked in, making it very unnecessary for Ron to keep on his coat—it wasn't long before he'd abandoned it on a bench.

There were only a few people here—a boy with longish blond hair playing on the swings and two people he assumed to be this boy's parents watching him play. Ron hesitated; he'd always been kind of shy around other kids, only ever having his own siblings to play with. But it seemed the twins were busy burying a happily giggling Ginny in the sand. After a few moments of debating with himself over whether this was the best idea after all, Ron made his way to the swings and took the empty one beside the other boy.

"Hi," he said when Ron sat down.

"Hi," Ron said, his feet barely touching the top of the sand.

"Wanna see who can go higher?" the other said.

Ron nodded, smiling. "Okay..."

Remus and Emmeline watched as Harry and another boy tried to go higher and higher on their swings, each trying to beat the other. When he looked over at Emmeline, Remus was certain she was thinking the same thing as he was: the Weasley children were on the same playground as they were. Remus looked around a bit more, looking for the boy in the photo Sirius had sent, and began to wonder if the boy was already of Hogwarts age before spotting him sitting on the bench closest to the rest of Diagon Alley, completely immersed in some book. Remus nudged Emmeline and nodded at the boy, hearing her sharp intake of breath when she recognized him.

"The only problem," Remus said, "is that we can't just go over there and start asking questions about a rat. I don't imagine their mother has gone far from them, or that she'll leave them alone for too long. And I doubt she'd look highly upon two complete strangers interrogating her son."

Emmeline resignedly agreed and they began trying to figure out the best way to find out the information they wanted to know. While they talked, Harry and who seemed to be the youngest Weasley boy ran off towards the monkey bars, trying to see who could hang upside the longest. Some fifteen minutes later, they were no closer to a decent plan than they were before, and it seemed Molly Weasley had finished her shopping: the redheaded woman entered the playground, watching her son and Harry play. She seemed on the verge of calling her children to go home, but changed her mind as she spotted Remus and Emmeline. Smiling, she came to sit on the bench beside them.

"Hello," she said to them, setting down her shopping bags and taking off her cloak. "My Ron seems to be having fun with your boy."

Remus nodded, smiling back. "They seem to have hit it off very well," he agreed, a plan finally popping into his mind. It was a bit of a long shot, but it couldn't hurt... Before speaking again, he reached over and pressed down on Emmeline's hand, silently telling her to play along—she pressed back, showing she understood. Luckily, Remus and Emmeline had decided only Harry needed a glamour charm that day, or else they may have been out of luck. "I don't know if you recognize me, Mrs. Weasley, but I was a friend of your brothers'."

Molly looked at him and a few seconds later, he saw vague signs of recognition in her eyes. "Oh yes," she said. She seemed to be trying to place a name with the face, but couldn't quite come up with it.

"Remus Lupin," he said, smiling to show he wasn't offended at not being recognized. "I believe you and I only met once or twice."

"Well, all the same," Molly said, returning the smile, "it's wonderful to meet you again. It that your son?" She looked over at where Ron and Harry were chasing each other around the playground.

"My nephew Jamie, actually," Remus said. "He's been staying with us for some time—his mother passed away and I was named his guardian." Technically, it wasn't all a lie. "He's been cooped up in our flat as of late, unable to play with children his age. He really seems to be enjoying your children." Remus looked out to the playground and chuckled, having seen Harry and Ron chase two other boys—twins, by the looks of them.

Molly gave him a sympathetic look. She hesitated for a few moments, smiling at how Ron was laughing happily as he tripped in the sand. "I hope you won't think me too forward, but Ron doesn't have any friends where we live and it's quite rare that he socializes with anyone by my other children—how would you feel about Ron and Jamie getting together to play some time? You're all welcome of course—perhaps you could come for dinner and meet my husband."

Remus nodded slowly, pretending to think over the offer, inwardly celebrating. "I think that would be a wonderful idea. Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.".

The redheaded witch smiled. "Please, call me Molly," she said. "How does Friday night sound?"

"Perfect," Remus replied, ignoring the slightly confused look Emmeline was sending him. Remus and Emmeline worked out a few details before the witch gave him the address of her home. Shortly after, she called her children, put their jackets back on, and headed back into Diagon Alley.

"Are you out of your mind?" Emmeline asked as Remus stood to go get Harry so they could go home. He turned to her with a raised eyebrow. "Last I checked, we were supposed to stay away from magical families as long as we have Harry."

Remus gave her a look. "I think we blew that when I met with Sirius, and you and I stopped wearing our glamour charms out in public," he said dully. She rolled her eyes. "Look, we can't keep Harry locked up with no one but us for company. He needs other kids to play with."

She raised her own eyebrow. "So this has absolutely nothing to do with a Weasley being the one in the picture with Peter on his shoulder?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "But honestly, what can it hurt?"

Emmeline sighed before nodding and standing. "Famous last words, those," she muttered to herself. "All right, but keep in mind Michael will be back Thursday."

"Your brother will continue to remain completely oblivious to our lies," Remus promised. "Marauder's honor."

Emmeline's eyebrows shot up. "Is that supposed to make me feel any better?" she asked as Harry ran over to them out of breath and looking very happy. "Because as I recall, those words were nothing but trouble during school, and more than once, they resulted in several detentions for anyone in a fifty foot radius of you four."

Remus only laughed and picked Harry up, leading the way out of Diagon Alley.