Chapter 11

3 WEEKS LATER

I step of the plane from Paris, and travel into an airport in New York.

I'd visited my dad and Roman in Paris, and stayed with them. I could've gotten a hotel room, but I didn't want to spend any more time in one alone like I had at The Empire. And Daddy and Roman had no idea that Chuck was sick, or even that I was still in contact with him. They weren't likely to mention him to me.

I'd tried to escape, and in a way, it had worked. I mostly shopped and went out to restaurants, but everything was lonely. I wished I had Serena with me, but she needed to stay this time. In fact, I really needed to stay too. But at the same time, I needed to go away.

I spent a lot of time with Daddy and Roman for an adult, but they didn't notice anything strange, even though I cried myself to sleep every night. They didn't hear, and I tried to act happy during the day so they wouldn't suspect anything.

I was asked out a few times, but even though I craved company my age, I never gave in. It felt too much like betrayal to Chuck for me to feel comfortable with it. And I didn't want to go out with anyone that wasn't Chuck right now anyways.

I knew if Chuck was dead I'd have to get over that, or be alone.

I tried not to think about Chuck or what was going on at home, but it was so tempting. I spent many nights just looking at the phone, almost giving in and calling Serena, Nate, or Lily.

I'd thought the middle of the second week was the hardest during it. I knew that Chuck had probably had his surgery if he was alive. I didn't know how it went, and I was having trouble dealing with that.

I'd thought the second week was bad, but the third and last week was worse. I couldn't stand not knowing what was happening. I became closer and closer to calling home, but every time I picked up the phone, I thought about what I'd feel like if I found out Chuck was dead. Would that really make me feel better than not knowing?

No. At least this way there was some hope.

So every night, that is what made me put down the phone again.

But I couldn't escape forever.

I had had a bad feeling in my stomach form the start of this vacation, and it got worse every day. I'm slightly relieved to get home, but I'm much more nervous than relieved.

But no matter what, it will all be over tonight. I'll finally know the truth.

I change and freshen up at the airport. I make sure to be quick so that I can get there early. I don't want to chance being too late again.

I think I'm going to throw up on the way to the Empire State building, but luckily I'd decided earlier not to eat anything that day. I hadn't really felt like eating.

When I pay the driver and get out of the cab, I look up at the very tall building for a moment, gathering myself together, then close the door and rush inside. I check my watch as I ride the elevator.

It's 6:40.

This somehow seems far too late for what I'm doing. What if he's already come and left?

No. He wouldn't do that. He'll be on time, and if he's early he'll wait. He'll wait for however long it takes.

Anyways, my flight was delayed. There was nothing I could do to control that. And I'm still here before 7:01, with time to spare.

I get to the top of the building and quickly scan the area for a man dressed formally and maybe carrying flowers.

But I don't really care if he's not in a suit and he didn't bring flowers. I don't care if he's not strong enough yet to get out of his wheelchair. I don't care if he's in a hospital gown. I just need him to be alive and well.

I search everywhere, but I don't see Chuck. I start to panic, but it's only 6:50. He still has 11 minutes before 7:01.

I try my best to calm down and stand near the elevator, searching the face of every person who comes out.

But I don't see him.

It gets to be 7:00 far before I want it to be.

I feel like I can't breathe as I glance at my watch, and then look back at the elevator.

I watch it with tears brimming in my eyes, reminding myself again and again that he still has one more minute.

But I stand there for what feels like a long time, and I still don't see him. I refuse to let myself check the time. I keep telling myself it's still 7:00...he still had the rest of the minute.

But it gets to the point where I can't take it anymore. I tear my eyes away from the elevator and finally allow myself to look at my watch again.

It's 7:08.

My heart sinks.

Maybe's he's just late?

But Chuck would never keep me waiting. Not after what happened last time. He would never want me to feel the same way he did when I didn't show up.

Maybe he never even got the message. Maybe Lily just forgot to tell him. But Lily wouldn't do that.

I need to stop finding excuses. Here it is, the final confirmation that Chuck is dead.

I've known he's been dying for a long time, so I should be prepared for this.

But I'm not. Nothing could have ever prepared anyone for something like this.

I can't leave. Even though I know he won't show up, even though I know he's gone, I can't leave.

So I, Blair Waldorf, sit down on the dirt floor, alone, and I allow myself to cry.

And I don't know how I'm ever going to get back up.

Somewhere else in the city, not too far away, a young blonde stands in a hospital, calling her best friend. "Please answer your phone! I need to talk to you! This is important!"

She hangs up, feeling desperate. She's called her friends five times now, and she still hasn't picked up.

She turns around and faces an older blonde woman, presumably her mother.

"What's taking so long?" the younger woman demands.

The older woman looks exasperated. "They're being stubborn."

"They need to understand the seriousness of the situation!" the girl says impatiently. "Great!"

"What?"

"My phone just ran out of battery. Can I borrow yours?"

"Why?"

The daughter looks at her mother incredulously. "Because I still haven't reached Blair! Any you know why I need to talk to her. It's 7:10. And you remember what she said…he's already late."

AN: So the last part is not from Blair's POV. It's not from anyone's POV. It didn't feel right ending it without that last bit.

Next chapter…has some drama. Let me rephrase that. Next chapter has a lot of drama. Be ready

Oh and sorry for the short chapter!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

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